The Algona Republican from Algona, Iowa on July 29, 1891 · Page 9
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The Algona Republican from Algona, Iowa · Page 9

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Algona, Iowa
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Wednesday, July 29, 1891
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REPUBLICAN. STARK A n A.T,T,OOtt, PaMUher*. IOWA, OUR MODERN AMAZON. Via trying on toy armor, deaf, With which my battles are won. t shall count some brilliant conquests before The summer uun has gono. Here's n white clresa ami a illy-trimmed hat And a parasol HUe foam; ^They'll make ray eyes look darker yet. As 1 fetch my fcrisoners homo. You would nob think this simple silk, As light as a soa-Rull'a wing, Could bring down many a knightly heart In the lists of "summering I" And hero's a fan—It Is not smoke, But lace and ostrich feather; It will bo -watched by oyea that ask My fancy's wind and weather. And here's a yachting suit that says, Upon life's merry wavo 3, like an admiral, shall win Engagements brisk and brave I .And at this shoo, all tipped with gold, A trembling slave shall stoop— .A vassal whom a rival queen Lost In aoiiio waltzing group ;In short, when autumn onco more hanua The land with gorguous hue, •I shall come riding back to town In triumph. Wouldn't you? —Hose Hawthorne Lathrop, In Harper's Bazar, A JOKE THAT KICKED. It Explains the Coolness Between Jones and Smith. EHHAPS if you have been down to the Metropolitan club, on Fleet street, lately, y o v. may have noticed that there is a cool- n e s s betwee" Smith and Jones, who wore once very intimate friends. This is all on account of o n e o f Jones' j«o k es which isn't but, a second and Jorcs bolted down Fleet street The thW was over so suddenly that even Robinson did not recognize who had d^one it nor did he realize quite what had been done. He only saw that Smith was ghastly palR and gasping and when he recovered breath he said to Robinson: "My Godl I have been garroted. I knew it would come some day." Then he looked down at the dangling watch chain, and, seeing the guinea which he always wears thera still in its place, he added: "Thank goodness, he has left me the watch chain, anyhow." "Well," said Robinson, "let's lose no time in getting on the fellow's track.'' "Oh, it's nouse," replied Smith, dolefully; "he has bolted." So far the joke was a tremendous success, and even then Smith did not realize that his watch was not gone. The joke would have probably been a success all through if it had not been for a tall, stalwart man who stood head and shoulders above the crowd and who was coming up Fleet street some little distance from where the occurrence took place. He saw it all, recog nixed the act and braced himself up. When Jones came dashing down the street to escape up a court the tall man sprang directly in his way and seized him by both lapels of his coat "You scoundrcll" he cried, "I've got you. You needn't struggle. I'll throw you on your back on the pavement in a moment if you try to escape " "Escape, nonsense!" cried Jones; "it was only a joke." "Yes, it's a joke you'll explain to the judge, my fine fellow. Here, some' body call a policeman." "ilang your policeman," cried Jones, struggling to free himself from the iron grasp of the other, who merely shook him for his pains as a big Newfoundland dog would shake a rat terrier. When Smith and Robinson turned back and saw Jones in the hands of the tall fellow, Smith at the first moment thought Jones had captured the gar- roter. "You've got him," said Smith. "Yes, I have," answered the tall man. "I saw him do it. Just go through his pockets before some of his pals get away with your watch." THE PRECIOUS BABIES J iiRh Their Mothers Are Very Fond They Arc Sometime* Careless. Oh, the precious babiesl What is a homo, without one? Yet, notwithstand* ing they are so dear to the human heart, their fond mothers are at times very careless of their dimpled little treasures. This is shown every day in the week, Sundays excep'fid, at some of the big retail dry-goo'ln stores. Perhaps mauima wishes to do some shopping, anilihe servant lias been given "an afternoon off." It is too fine a day to remain indoors. So mamma puts her darling into its wicker-work carriage and trundles it down town to plunge herself Into the eea of bargains. Of course she can not take baby, cart and all in to the store. Baby must be left outside, and there he lies in his perambulator, sometimes contentedly, sometimes not. Usually, however, baby is asleep when mamma enters the store and leaves her cherub in the big-arched, rotunda-like doorway. Mamma seldom seems to imagine that there are kidnappers stalking through the land and that her darling may be stolen. The other day a young mother entered a large store in Fulton street, Brooklyn, leaving her sleeping infant outside in its carriage. She had not been gone more than twenty minutes when baby awoke. Scores of strange faces were around him and he was fj-ightened by the hum of many voices. Up went his under lip and the sensitive little fellow began to sob. Soon his sob became a cry, which quickly developed into an ear-rasping squawl. Men got out of the range of sound with alacrity, while women only paused long enough to say "poor little thing!" and then passed on. Finally a sympathetic, matronly- looking woman stopped in front of the wee but noisy boy. For a moment she regarded him in silence and then tenderly lifted him in her arms and nestled his plump form close .to her bosom. "Ooo is somebody's 'ittle totsey wot- sey, oo poor 'ittle fing, oo is," she said soothingly. "Dere, dere, deary, don't I oo ky any move. Mamma will come PITH AMD POINT, WAR. -- „ ., - . back." Then Smith, although he is not very instantly the crying ceased; but it was quick at noticing the point, saw how , for an i ns t an t only. Baby unscrewed things stood. He put his hand into | hig eycl i dSi which before had been felt that his watch j tigntly c i ose d, and gazed in speechless a joke kick, and was s tiu there. While his hand was in ^ on ^' cr a t the strange woman with an this one kicked his poc k e t he slipped the watch from j untrans i a t a ble vocabulary, ba'dly indeed. th e chain, left the chain in its place and Qne glance was enough for him. The Jones is a jocular sort of a fellow, put the watch in his trousers pocket, j next m oment he was making —- Q •while Smith is rather sad and has never By this time a policeman had arrived '"" on the scene, and pushing the crowd aside, said: "What's all this?" "It's garroting," said the tall man. The policeman looked rather amazed It seemed to him a remarkable thing that garroting should be attempted in crowded Fleet street. The very dis- been suspected of being a humorist. This is what makes his conduct on the Jones joke all the more inexplicable. People' had got to look on Smith as a .sober-minded person, upon whom joke might be played with impunity Jones is now of a different opinion. It all fell out in this way. Smith and Jones and Brown and Robinson were walking together up Fleet street in the dusk of the evening. Jt was the day of a great race or a big prize fight or some large sporting event of national importance, and Fleet street was crowded. People were standing in front of the sporting newspaper offices eager to see the latest bulletins, and Fleet street was a kind of a jam from Ludgate circus up to the Law courts, Jones and Brown were walking on ahead and Smith and Robinson eame up behind. Now Smith knew that Jones and Brown were ahead of him. So did Robinson, for that matter, but neither Robinson nor Brown has very much to do with this story. As Jones and Brown walked on ahead together, Jones said: "Do you know what Smith's great terror is?" "No," said Brown. "He is afraid of being garroted." "Nonsense," said the other; "nobody has been garroted in London for years." "Oh, I know that, but he was a boy at the time of the great garroting excitement in London and ever since he has been afraid he will be garroted some night and robbed." "It seems to me," replied Brown, "that I do remember hear ing him speak of that;" although, to tell the truth Brown remembered nothing of the Bort, but he was a diplomatic man who liked to say the right thing to anybody he was talking with. "Now," said Jones, as if struck sud denly with a brilliant idea, "I am go 'HEKE, SMITH!" CKIED TIENTLY. 8B THREW HIS AUM AROUND NECK. SMITH'S ing to garrote him. I am going to gar- tote him right here on Fleet street" "I wouldn't try it," replied the other, "not in a crowded street like this." "Just the place for it," said Jones. •'I'll escape through the crowd in less than half a second, and the very fact that there is a crowd will make bnutli think that he has been taken in au.d done for." leveled appearance of Jones and his frantic efforts to escape, however, convinced the policeman that something was indeed wrong. "Here, Smith," cried Jones, impatient- i "you. know very well that this was only a joke. Tell this overgrown fool that that was the case. Tell the policeman so." Smith did not answer, but those who have always thought there was no j humor in his corpulent body were surprised when they knew what he did. He quietly pulled the watch chain _ out of his pocket and looked sadly in a woebegone manner at its empty end. *'I suppose," he said quietly to the policeman, "there is no use in going through the fellow's pockets to see if my watch is there." "I'll see, sir," said the policeman, and at once he went through the pockets of Jones in a manner which showed that he knew his business, "It isn't on him, sir," said the policeman. Oh, I say, Smith," appealed Jones, "don't let this go any further. Can't you satisfy him? Good gracious, just look at the crowd." "He seems to know my name," said Smith sadly to the policeman; "it i» Smith." And your address, sir?" asked the policeman. "The Metropolitan club, Fleet street." "Thank you," said the policeman as he noted 'it down, and then Smith turned and walked with Robinson back to the club, while Jones and the policeman, followed by a tremendous crowd, went along Fleet street Some of Jonesj' friends think tnat Smith carried the kicking of the joke just a little too far, but most of the members who have he retpfore suffered from Jones' humor th ought it served hiro just about right Of course it all came right and that in a couple of hours, for a deputation went from the more i noise than before. With the most i modern and highly approved _ baby lingo tlie unfortunate woman tried to comfort him, but her every effort was in vain. .Still the baby squawled. The situation was becoming desperate, when suddenly the child's mother hastened to the spot and took the shrieking youngster from the woman's grasp. 'Reuben, Reuben, my own sweet love, what is the matter, matter, matter? Tell your mamma, mamma, dear. There, there, there, t-h-e-r-e—" And the baby stopped crying, put his thumb in his mouth, opened wide his deep blue eyes, gazed with infinite satisfaction and complacency at the crowd and calmly submitted to being returned to his nest in the carriage. That child knew his mother and did not understand foreign baby talk.—N. Y. Herald. HUNTING FOR HANDLES. An Occupation that la Productive of Good Results. An intimate friend of a merchant who had just lost his property called to express his sympathy, and found the family much depressed, with the exception' JONES, IMP A- O f the youngest son, who appeared as cheerful as usual. "How happens it, Bob," the visitor inquired, "that your face isn't so long as the rest of the family?" "I suppose," Bob returned, "that have been so busy hunting handles that I haven't had time pull it down." "Explain yourself," demanded the visitor, laughing. "This .is all," said the courageous Bob. "When I was a little shaver, my grandfather used to have a carpenter's bench in his woodshed, and one^day he sent me for a particular tool? 1 and I brought it to him without the handle. •What good is that?' he cried. 'Are you a fool, Bob?' Then I was mad, and cried back: 'There isn't any handle to anything there!' He seized me by the arm and said: 'Bob, remember one thing—there's always a handle to everything! Qo hunt the handle!' "My grandfather was a man who knew what he was talking about; if he said there's a handle to everything, —"Tlio.ro are no eggs in last year's nests." Well, no; the honest farmer is peddling them around a6 fresh-laid fruit.—Philadelphia Times. —No Danger.—Guest (in an agitated Whisper)—"There are thirteen of us at this table!" Poor Relation—"No. Only twelve. I don't count."—Chicago Tribune. —Human nature is human nature the world over. The harshest critic the newspaper editor has is the man who contributes to the waste-paper basket. —-N. Y. Recorder. —New Definitions—Debtor—One who owes you money which he must pay. Creditor—One to whom you owe money which you will not pay if you can help it.—Yankee Blade. —Easy to Impress.—"I never^ saw a more erc.dulous person than Radigastin my life." "Neither did I. Why that man would even believe a gas-meter." —Columbus Press. —That Settled It—Young Hankinson (taking his seat in the chair)—"Don'1 shave that mole, please. It's tender." Barber (after a careful examination o: the rest of the face)—"All right, sir Next!" —Mrs, Jellnp—"I understand your daughter's marriage was a brilliant one." Mrs. Fresco—"Delightful. She got a divorce within two years and alimony of twenty thousand dollars a year.—Washington Star. —Higher Mathematics at Harvard— S. Ponge—"Can you let me have $10 for a week or so? " G. Enerous—"I've only got nine, but you can have that if it will do." S. Ponge—"All right; I'll take that and then you will owe me $1." —"Is it farmin' Dennis O'Mally is goin' tor thry?" said a laboring man. "It is that saMe-" "Why," rejoined the other scornfully, "he don't know enough about farruming to plant 'is feet in the road and raise dust."—Washington Post. —Hawkins—"You were on the jury in the murder trial, weren't you? What was the verdict?" Lambson—"Acquittal." "In spite of such damning evidence! What excuse had you?" "Insane." "What! All of you?"—Kate Field's Washington. —Sumatra monkeys are selling at $1,000 apiece. Very few of the monkey's human descendants will fetch anything like that figure. This may be a sad reflection to our simian ancestor as he looks down with grief and despondency upon his posterity.—Boston Transcript. —Did Not Care to Waste It.—These flowers are just lovely, but I—mamma thinks it is not right for me to accept such gifts unless—unless we were engaged." He—Well, I guess it is a go. These flowers cost $15, and it seems a pity to have the money thrown away." —Indianapolis Journal. "What do you or — think about your father's consent?" George asked after all the preliminaries had been arranged. ' 'You had better speak to him this very evening," she said positively. "So soon?" "Yes, he has been terribly put out with me to-day and I think the idea would just about -+-"'- ^ m "— Washipgton Post. A LETTER WRITING ARMY. Bow thn Soldier Kay* Remembered tli« Folks «t Home. It is not an easy thing to go into an encampment and not find men busy, lard at work, and you would always see a number of them writing. There never was such a letter-writing 1 army on the face of God's earth. You never could go into camp without finding the men writing letters, on the ground, against the side of trees, from which they had torn the bark, on their knees; and never did we women at home in preparing for the sanitary commission fix up comfort bags in which we did not put sheets of^paper, postage stamps, envelopes and the inevitable plug of tobacco. I remember very distinctly when the army came back from the relief of Burnside at Knoxville. Never was there such a tatterdemalion looking set of men in Ihe world. They started out in summer blouses; they came back with their feet bound up in rags, so that as they walked they looked like the most veritable scarecrows that you ever saw in a cornfield. One came out of the hospital more ragged than the others, more thoroughly demoralized in one. is living r.y >••" ;> > rii:ir ••*•' very rnrcfnlly overhnulrrl. rv.'ry* thing 1 put- in thoroughly good condition* and selected a captain who was know 1 * to them nil as not only a thorough man but a man who could and w keep a still tongue. He was directed t* coal up, proceed to Halifax, and thefl* await orders. When he received ft dU* patch he said it meant that he was t» start for Liverpool and gf» as fast as steam and wtn» cold take him, and it was e* timated that he would make the ran i* about three and a quarter days. H» was given sealed orders and told that, he would be instructed by telegrab* when to open them. He sailed for Hall* fax February 18, 1865. ( ' The confederacy was then in its death* throes. Hood's army had been drivel*, out of Tennessee with great loss of life. Its destitution was something no matt can understand who did not see $ it Men were absolutely starving and dying- for want of food and clothing. Generate of brigades were half clad and wearing- boots and shoes taken from dead Union soldiers' feet. How they lived, who did live through it all, is only known to God and them. It was a time which those who participated in it can never forget. Their comrades' faces were the strike WOMEN AND LADIES. then, sure as a gun, there's a handle to our affairs now, and I mean to find it!" No virtue is more easily imparted than that of courage, and it is needless to add that the whole family set about "hunting for handles'—and found them.—Youth's Companion. "! wouldn't do anything like that if chUrto-the police.station -d-plained I were you," said Brown, cautiously, Vut Jones took him by the arm and drew him into one of the courts that enter Fleet street, where they waited until Smith and Robinson had passed them. Then be stepped out, and going auiekly and quietly up behind Smith threw his loft arm suddenly around his Wfc, choked poor Snutfc until his eyes began to bulge out and then gave a auick tug at his coat to make him think ^ i -watct was go»e. 4H &'* occupied everything satisfactorily, especially as the deputation was headed by Smith himself who apologized profusely t( Jon as because, in the exciternerrt of the moment, he bad not recogniaetl him. This explains the coolness between Smith and Jones, which seems to indicate that Jones did not take Smith's apology in the spirit is, wbteh it wsts tendered., -fculw Sharp, Press. Connecticut Enterprise. The latest fish story is of a Connecticut river shad weighing three and a »alf pounds assimilating a five-inch railroad spike. The fish on being opened was found to contain a spike imbedded near the liver, which organ, together with the sides of the fish, was covered with rust, aud all the evidence pointed to the conclusion that the spike had lain there for some time. Stuffing Connecticut river shad with railroad spikes to increase their weight is an industry that will soon surpass tbe'basswood ham and wooden nutmeg of earlier times.— Columbus Journal. Circumstance* Alter Cases. Wholesale Jeweler (severely)—Who's been smoking cigarettes in my private office? Office Boy (haughtily)—It was me! Jeweler (humbly)—Ah, I beg pardon; I feared it had been one those impudent clerks.—Jewelers' Weekly. —Tenderfoot—"What makes you locate your cemetery out here in the de»- ert?" Arizona. Ike—"Stranger, the sile of this new kentry is sech that if we planted a man anywhere else he would come up in no ttn»«."—N. Y. Herald. Instances of the I/udicrous Application of tlie Term l.ady. There have been some amusing instances of the misapplication of the word lady, which custom has decreed ;o mean social culture instead of its original meaning, "loaf-giver." A girl waiter in a large hotel in an eastern city approached a guest with this query: Has any other lady taken your or* der?" This was equivalent to the politeness of the little girl who surprised the family by announcing: "Mamma, the swill lady is at the back door." There is the s;tory of the mistress of a fashionable house, who, on being left without any servant, answered the door bell and was confronted by a stout girl, who asked: "Are ye the woman that wanted a lady to work for ye?" When Harriet Martineau visited America she asked the warden of a prison reformatory in Tennessee to show her through the woman's ward. The answer is embalmed in history: •I am very sorry, ma'am, that I cai not accommodate you, but we have nfl ladies here at present." A minister who was very polite changed a portion of Scripture to read, "Ladies and gentlemen created He them;" and a lecturer who cared more for the sweet phrases of politeness than for the plain statements of the truth, rung this query upon an astonished audience, as he discoursed on the characteristics of women: Who were the last at the cross? Ladies. Who were the first at the sepulcher? Ladies." But even he was undone by the ex- quijdte divine who, as he concluded marrying a couple, said gallantly: I now pronounce you husband ana lady."—Detroit Free Press. his personal appearance. One of physicians said to him: "Well, my boy, if you don't need clothes I don't know who does." And the happy fellow, looking at him said: "Well, now, I ain't a hankering for clothes, you bet your life, but I am just dead clean heartbroken for a diamond breast-pin." The army wasn't a good place to go to talk the'blues. It wasn't a very good hing to undertake to indulge in morbid sentiments. You were taken off your feet n no time; you were compelled to know that these men had a high sense of humor about them. Said one fellow, coming out one morning when the reveille was sounded altogether too early for his comfort: "When this cruel war is over and I get home in my own house I am [joing to hire a fellow to come and sound reveille every morning under my window, simply that I may have the pleasure of opening the window and throwing the contents of the washbowl on him." They did not even die gloomily. Again and again I have heard men say: "Chaplain, the doctor is mistaken about my case. I am going to die, and not live," and turn their faces to the wall and die. And when one man was not so very sick, but who thought he was. and was becoming a hypochondriac a.nd giving vent to his anguish, which was purely imaginary, while talking with him I saw two-thirds of the men in the beds about slip themselves into clothes that would make them a little more respectable, and march about the room, one of them pretending to play the banjo, another the violin, another the fiute, another the clarinet, another the double base drum. There was not an instrument there, and it was all done in pantomine, but the mimicry was so perfect, and they went through the movements of playing the various instruments so well that they stopped the gloomy outpourings of the hypochondriacs, who were compelled to join in the laugh. When I was in Switzerland I was one day standing at the door of a railway gaunt and haggard with privations and , . i 1__1' J.lt.ntuf-k-WSIB^TlKfc. Al day standing ai; iue u.uui uj. « x »">...., . surren( j er station, and at the opposite side of the j armieg t] station I saw a railway porter wearing an artificial leg. As I looked at him carefully I thought he was wearing the badge of the grand army. I stepped back to tell my husband about it. "Oh," said my husband, "of course you know it can not be the badge of Too Conscientious. 'What's become of young Dimity? / never see him any more," said a cu» tomer to Mr. Challie. of the firm <J Challie & Peekay, proprietors and mans agers of a vast dry goods emporium. "I had to dispense wHh his service*. "Ah?" "Yes. He was too exact.' "Indeed?" «»And too conscientious." ! "I never heard exactness and conscientiousness made the causes of a man's discharge before." •Well, those qualities may be all right in their place, but a dry goods tablishment is hardly otbe place foi them." . , , „ "I don't quite understand why. "Well, I'll tell you. I happened to overhear a'customeraste young Dimity i " J. *•»-. vxin/ii^ f\f Cff\f\dtl WBR how much, ft ccrt&m piece ox guouo VV*I<B worth. 'Well, ma'am' said Dimity, ia reply, 'that goods is worth seventy-ttv* Wtto a yard, hut the price is one —• Jar. You can see for yourself wha impracticable man he was for tb* Of trade-"—I" »-••»»•— the grand army. It is probably some foreign decoration." But the man crossed over toward me, and I saw it was a badge of the grand army. I immediately forgot all conventionalities and hurried to him, and | in the very best French I could muster j I asked him how it came about that he, j a Swiss railway porter, was wearing the badge of the Grand Army of the Republic of America? He said, speaking perfect English: "Madam, I enlisted in the service in your country in June, 1861, and I was mustered out in October, 1865." [Applause, ] "Where did you lose your leg." " 'At Gettysburg, and I still remained in the service, as I wanted to see the end. So I got myself put into the invalid corps, that I might do duty in the hospital, and I was not mustered out until October, 18B5.' " 'Then,' said I, 'if you have lost your leg at the battle of Gettysburg and fought under my country's flag for four years, you are my brother, and I must shake hands with you.' "Said he: 'Madame, your America and my America is a good nation to live for, to fight for, to die for. By and by, when the old father and mother pass away, I am going- back to my America, My brothers are there with their families. I have no family, and I am here to take care of the old father and mother. I receive a pension from the United States government. I am one 1 of its people, a naturalized citizen, one of you not by birth but by adoption, and I am going back some time. Believe me, America is to be the Messiah of nations.' Before God, I had thought that myself, but I had never dared say it."—Mrs. M. A. Livermore. HISTORY. INSIDE WAR Th» Story of a Blockade Runner and SBT- eral Musing Millions, InDecembei, 1864, a very swift and light blockade runner was captured off Wilmington, N. C. It had been built •or the purpose of running drugs and medicines in to the confederacy, and had made a great many successf ul trips, when bj *, concatenation of circumstances and accidents one foggy morning in December she found herself a long way outside of her intended course, aud within three hundred yards of tbe United States cruisers, who immediately captured her without a struggle or any injury to the beautiful prize. One of the officers who was present at btr capture declared that he had never seen in any ship such a combination of grace and swiftness. She was condemned aw sold in N«w York on or about the 10th FoVruary.lSOa. Four men became famine, and men had in their eyes the look of those whom hunger has nearly made mad. The few horses that were left were like skeletons. Yet how these men fought Franklin and Duck River will bear witness. There was no word of surrender amid all this starvation and death. They preferred to fight, for in the tents of their enemies they found food and clothing, warmth and the breath of life, and they attacked where they could with the courage of trained soldiers and the fearlessness of men almost mad. Never was there seen on North American soil such splendid, contempt for death. Lee's army was in almost as destitute a condition, and any day might see the end of the confederacy. Time went on, February passed away, then March, and the waiting* captain got no word. He kept his fires banked and his men on'board as he had been told. April came, and I at 4:30 on the 9th Capt. Blatch received a telegram containing these words: "Go and execute the orders given you in the sealed writing. Open them one day before you arrive in Liverpool." This was alL At 7 p. m. he steamed out of Halifax harbor, and in three days and twelve hours he was dropping anchor in the Mersey off Liverpool. When he arrived at Fastnet Light, the first light seen on the Irish coast, he opened his orders. They simply directed him to deliver two packages of papers inclosed to the addresses on them as soon as he, landed, at day or night, and then to report to a well-known firm of ship brokers for further orders, meanwhila to talk with nobody. He obeyed them strictly. The end of the confederacy had come. Two great London and Liverpool honses^ sold confederate bonds short till they had out over thirty million dollars of shorts. At that time there were in Liverpool, London and Manchester nin* thousand bales of cotton belonging fe» the confederate government A week after the arrival of this swift ship the mail steamers brought the news of the of Lee's and Johnston's armies, the final collapse of the confederate states government, and the , flight of Mr. Davis and his cabinet Confederate bonds fell from thirty-five to forty cents to nothing. The American minister in London, Mr. Charles Francis Adams, immediately directed the United States consuls at Liverpool, Manchester and in London to seize all the confederate cotton in' those cities and hold it till further order* But when these officials attempted to execute these orders not a bale could be found. Three million six hundred thousand dollars' worth of cotton had disappeared, and from that hour to this the United States government has never been able to find a dollar's worth of it. Four persons who owned a swift ship that sailed from Halifax the evening of April 9, 1865, could tell where it went to if they were disposed to do so, and ' were all alive. But all four who planned this mighty coup are dead but one, who is an old man now ; in a northern city and rich. Among the four were two men who were noted in those days for their wealth and devotion to the union, and two southern men. One of them held a high confidential position at the confederate capital and the other was a prominent confidential Euro-, pean agent of the -confederate government. They made on the short sale of bonds not less than twelve million dol' ' lars, and on the cotton about three million six hundred thousand more. In other words, the four "landed" about four million dollars apiece, less tbe e?s» • pense, which was not over twenty thpu», sand dollars each for the four. Swell i* one of the curious inside incidents of the great war.—Washington Post. v The Artists Were Ott When the Alabama was destroyed bjf tbe Kearsarge, in 1864, there was, of course, great rejoicing in the Northern, . states, and complimentary tributes WWflr* abundantly showered on Capt, Wiaslo^f 4 | for his achievement A large oil-pai»t->'* ing of the battle was presented to §*p* retary Seward. It represented Kearsarge, with flying colors i» foreground; tbe Alabama, half* merged, in tbe middle distance, day , when Capt, "Winslow went fa upon tbe secretary, bis attention drawn to tbe picture, and he ww i ioned concerning its fidelity is of detail He replied that it < delineated the state of tbe sky on that day, and that the portrait gjM Kearsarge was a very good one- he paused, and some one asked; what else, captain? Is there i wrong?" "Yes," said tbe with emphasis. "I wisb^ : would not always re- bama as smaller tha She was as large ft as many guns and/ Companion^ —Be never travel OB ain, Maude-, feft't a #*

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