The Algona Republican from Algona, Iowa on December 3, 1890 · Page 6
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The Algona Republican from Algona, Iowa · Page 6

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Wednesday, December 3, 1890
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ANGELS.. if&islcm&l Protectors of Bibulous Gentleman. PA tJsofttt Institution Not Altogether Confined to tho Gay French Capital—An Expensive Jjuxnry. A correspondent in Paris recently dis iVOred in the oafes a class of attend 4ata vrhioh ho described as a bizarre .Itovelty in Parisian business methods 'He said that these attendants wero •fcnown professionally as "Guardian Angels." Thoy havo become, he wrote <julto numerous in tho moro thickly tiopulatod quarter of tho French capital. Tho attendants got their title because thoy are called upon to keep Uratoh and ward over and insure safe conduct homo to working people who trequont tho smaller cafes, and without 'the protection of tho angol might fall a I'prey to tho petty criminals who lurk in tho streets at night to rob inebriated ,\'Working-men and other moro or less helpless wayfarers. , Now York, suvys tho Sun of that city, thas for a long time had its counterpart |of tho Parisian guardian angels. Ho is curious, entertaining and beneficent "servant of tho public that was brought into existence by tho amazing growth of hotel life In this town during tho t last fow years, and by tho increase in I 4,the number of tho fashionable restau- f rants. Hero, however, it is only those fashionable hotels and cafes which can support tho luxury of angels. Thoy are too expensive a feature apparently to i justify tho proprietors of tho saloons fin tho tenement districts in em- '$ ploying them, Tho guardian angel of . Gotham is an affable and well-informed special police officer detailed by tho police commissioners, > ond reporting regularly to Acting Su' tr ^J>fijpintondent of Police Byrnes. Ho Kworks harmoniously with tho other CtBorviceablo attendant of the swell cafe ||who is called tho bouncer. Tho bouncer is a professional boxer whoso duty it is ;lto maintain order and to got obstreper- r|ous visitors out of tho establishment * without any fuss or feathers and with- ;jout attracting too general attention. "The angol, on tho other hand, makes it (his business to seo that no harm befalls ' ''the cafo or hotel patron who has become Ja little too convival for his own good, and needs tho assistance of just such a jiguide, i/hilosophor, anc i f r i on d as the angel is to keep him from parting with Ills valuables. i "Tho idea of having a guardian an- ,'gol," said tho angol of tho Hoffman House, "may strike men about town as something of a practical joke, and they may believe that tho angol is a myth. jBut they are mistaken, for ain't I here to prove that guardian angels are regular institutions? Many men in this town are thankful for tho help of the .professional angel. Wo seo that they fere sent safely homo if they get too much aboard, or wo got them accommodations at tho hotel if thoy aren't able to get homo. Wo tako thorn to a Turkish bath and straighten them out before putting them to bed, and in numerous .other ways perform a service that a square man isn't very apt to forgot, i iyhioli 1 happen to know not ono in a hundred fails to remember in a substan- pial fashion on other days besides Christmas." |. : A striking illustration of the opportune serviceableness of the guardian /angel was furnished recently at the Hoffman House, just before a public reception. A handsomo man, dressed in black, came from tho private dining- rooms and staggered along tho tiled corridor. His face was flushed with wine. •' "Heavens!" cried tho angol, with a Start as ho caught sight of the guest, "we must got that man to a room quick." j. Tho man was hustled into tho elevator jind taken to a room in a hurry. '' "What's the excitement about?" asked i bystander, when tho angol returned. •i, "A good deal moro than you think," Returned the little guardian. '-That pan would bo disgraced in bis profession yore he to bo seen in that condition ut '.he reception upstairs. Ho is one of the }est known professional men in this ; '.ity. Tho nature of his calling makes . :t imperative that ho should never bo ieen in public under tho influence of ivine. It was a narrow escape, though. But he's all right now. Nobody will fenow any thing- of it. lie will be itraight aa a string again when ho leaves lorhome, depend upon it." . The existence of the professional : juardiaii angol is a boon to many men of peans who have a habit of getting oc- .._jasionally too convivial tu iauu care ol (wemsolves. They depend upon tho friendly surveilhuH'.e O f the angol, and jive themselves up freely for the time being to tho delights of the flowing bowl. "Not once in a thousand times," said t professional angel, "does a friend who _ loes this service for a follow citizen fail '.jjO get the cab hire as soon aa he readies ..Discharge's home. A man me;\n enough • |Q back out of paying a fare bank under jiuch circumst:t-.ices in too mean to spend |nough to get so full. Sometimes #o don't collect ut the man's house at ,*11. Wo just escort him in and say in p explanatory way, '.Mr. Pillyearp'ato Something ut dinner that disagreed with film and couldn't get homo before, •na'am, but he's all right now; or ho will i all right in the morning.' Tho next i wo meet the good feUow a word is >nough to bring tho incident back to "Us memory, and he pays tho cab hire ijromptly. Often a man will be Ixuborantly generous. He'll want to Irack a bottle of wine with us, and ho lands a live or ten dollar note over, |k"ith the ronutrk: 'Uo bet that 011 the |Ol'se you think will xvin, with my coui- imonts and best wishes.' Men like i don't forget such a favor. They about it to their friend:*, and if sir friends chance to feel like having little • personal jubilee on their own ok they come and get the professional {01 to lend his good sri-vir.es as pro- and friend during tho hilarious i|periences of the jubilee. Yes, siree, i angel is an institution that it would !impossible to dispense with in these days, whether vvu are iu tho i of Franco or rig'ht here in the > ol America." ELEVATOR8 IN ENGLAND, An American's Exciting iiido id One the Queer Coiitrivauocg. "London may not bo provided with elevators on any thing like tho seal thftt New York is," says a writer in thi New York Tribune who recently npen his vacation abroad, "but 1 saw a 'lift there, the like of which I do not believo exists in this country. I entered an of floe building in London, which was no far from tho Bank of England, to see a friend, who was on tho top floor. In tho corridor I saw a number of boxes following ono another up one shaft nnd down another. They were attached to an endless chain and were large enough to hole several persons. "1 looked at tho machine in some doubt, when suddenly a man stepped out of ono of the boxes or cars which was coming down. Tho car, which waa going at what seemed to mo a rather rapid rate of speed, did not stop, tho man-jumping off it while it was in motion. Pretty soon I saw other men jumping in and out of tho cars, which wore about as far apart on tho endless chain as the distance from floor to floor. I at first hesitated about risking my limbs and life on tho contrivance, bul finally stepped into an ascending car just before its bottom was on n love] with the floor. "No sooner had I done this than I began to get afraid that I might be crushed to death between tho car and tho floor or ceiling when I tried to step off. Of a sudden it struck mo that if I did not got oil at tho top floor I would bo carried to tho roof, and then be stood on my head in tho car as it turned over. I was in a perfect fever of anxiety, and could hardly screw up my courage to tho point of alighting, but I managed to do this when the top floor was reached. I found that it was much easier to get out than I had supposed, and when I finished my call I boldly rode down on the machine. "I afterward learned that a man who did not get out of an ascending carat tho top floor would bo in no danger of being turned upside down at the top of tho shaft, because tho car always maintains its upright position. This is duo to tho fact that only the roof of tho car is fastened to tho cable, so tho car always remains bottom downward by its own weight. A 'lift' like this may bo economical, as it does away with tho need of men to run it, but I myself much prefer tho safe American machine." HIS YOUNG LADY PUPIL. llB- Horoic Treatment WJioii a Rlf? Girl fused to Ivourn Ilor Z/oason. A Maine boy, who is now a professor in ono of our Now England colleges, used to teach town schools while fitting himself for his university course, says tho Lcwiston Journal. Seated opposite to him on a railway train awhile ago ho related to mo somo of his early experience in teaching tho youthful idea. One strapping great girl, a woman grown, caused him considerable trouble because of her indifference to the beau- tics of education in general and "goger- fry" in particular, for which neglect ho caused her to put in considerable time after school in making up. It reached tho teacher's cars ono day that this maid had declared to an admiring- group that she wouldn't have her lesson on that afternoon, and that it the ;eackor kept her after school he would .iavo the privilege of sitting up one night with her at any rate before she would make the lesson up. This idea caused muchoxcitement among the pupils, who are usually ready to enjoy a teacher's discomfiture. According to the programme tho young lady's lesson that afternoon was a complete failure, and she was told to make it up after school. When tho session nded tho other pupils lingered about with an air of expectancy to seethe out- lomo of matters. The teacher politely ahowed them out of the room, however, and then went in ind shut the door. There sat tho damsel with her arms defiantly folded and tho aook closed on tho desk- before her. Tho pedagogue cordially invited her to open tho book and begin operations, out this had no effect whatever. •'All right," said ho, taking out his watch. "I'll give you just thirty min- .ites to get that lesson, and if it is not ready at tho end of that time I'll take you across my knee and give you one of tho most comprehensive, unabridged and able-bodied spankings that have over occurred since Julius Ccesar was an 'nfant." Then he took a chair with his back to :he enemy. Surprise, mortification, ;ears and sobs fmvuari, but at tno ond of ,ho half hour tho lesson had been ear ned—two lessons, probably. A Ni>\v Minnow Trap, An ingenious inventor has come to the •elief of fishermen lately, by producing a minnow trap that is hard to beat. First >f all it is wholly composed of transpar- «nt, colorless glass, and is in shape inuch ike a big cartridge, with a pointed b«il- et in it. It is about two and one-half eet long, and as big around as a man's eg above tho knee. Ii is hollow, of •ourse, and what would" bo the fiat ond f the cartridge is punched in, like tho xjttom of a glass bottle and there is a mull round hole in tho apex of the cone husmade. Tho other and the pointed mil of the trap is fitted with a little lidiug door. This big glass cartridge is ntended to be set on its side in tho bot- oin of a brook where minnows abound. The cautious ones .soon become aocus- omed to it, and the reckless fellows lon't see it until they bump their noses igainst it. Some nice bait is put inside ho trap, and tho minnows soon find heir way into it, through the hole in he punched-in end. Tho little door at he other end is shut, of course. Tho minnows are unable to find their vay out, because they follow the .ides of tho trap and this leads them nto the eul-do-sao at the flat end, all iround tho bottom of the cono. Thoy are easily poured out, however, with the vater in the trap, by holding the thing ip, pointed end down, and opening tho ittle slide door. Wire is twisted around the outside of the trap, and forms a handle by which it is conveniently carried, and the wive also protects the glass taw iujury. ODD OLD MMICO, An American's Observations (Jreoserdom, A Country Whoso Militia Is ot Convicts from tho Prisons— homo Poculldtltles of- the People. If there is ono thing of which Mexico •is more prolific than' revolutions it is peculiarities. The peculiarities of that country are many and astonishing, no 1 that I viewed this people from a narrow standpoint, says a writer in tho Chicago Times, much as tho average English tourist views America, for wo Americans are too familiar with representatives of every olimo and nation to bo guilty of such insular prejudice, but tho American dweller in Mexico will flntl tho peculiarities of that Nation too marked to bo over looked. For instance, what would any civilized people or earth other than tho Mexican think il their persons and property wero placed under tho guardianship of convicts? Yet such is tho case there. Police duty throughout tho country districts and in largo cities like Chihuahua is performed by tho soldiers of tho regular army, said army being recruited from tho convicts of each State. Complaint as to their inefficiency or dishonesty, however, is rarely hoard, though it is an open secret in Mexico that a small bribe to the''of- ficer" is sufficient to secure immunity from arrest, but this fact, so far from being made a ground for complaint, seems rather a source of congratulation than otherwise. How far wo are in advance of this system of recruiting tho ranks of the police, especially in Chicago, it is difficult to say; there may be some who would extend to us tho advice about not throwing stones; however, bo it said to tho everlasting credit of tho Mexicans that their police are natives of tbo country in which they wield the baton. From the police ono naturally turns, especially in this case, to the criminal. In Mexico tho burglar-ds positively unknown. The houses, constructed as thoy arc, in view of uprisings, revolutions, etc., present to tho would-be-burglar but a small chance of success. What with blank walls, barricaded windows, and solid wooden doors, tho dweller within the average adobe is prepared at nightfall to withstand the siege of a regiment. The phase of robbery most popular in Mexico is of the Dick Turpin pattern. Dick, however, from all accounts, usually gives voice to that time-honored comnand: "Your money, or your life," whereas, tho Mexican brigand invariably demands your money and your life, and no amount of plunder, pleading, nor promises will avail to save tho latter should tho opportunity bo favorable to ;ho robber for taking it. Tho cause of ;his is simply that the laws of the country provide that tho highway robber, il captured, shall suffer death, thus furnishing the incentive for his invariable bloody accompaniment to his original crime, that he may forever silence tho witness of tho deed. Tho Mexican is tho only natural-born Jred-in-tho-bone socialist in the world.' Ho has never read up on the subject; ho never hears our long-haired ranters vociferating about tho beauties of their system, nevertheless he is tho ideal socialist, and, although ho is not up to tho average in arithmetic, he knows tho rule of division to a nicety. The average Mexican will share his blanket and his last loaf or penny with you, should you iced it, but if you havo a ny thing you are expected to bo fully as liberal; if you don't, ho compels your liberality by taking your possessions away from you forcibly. In short, if you havo not, ho gives; if you havo, ho takes, whether or no. Ono side of this characteristic of the Mexicans, is best exemplified by their proceedings in the event of the marri- igo of ono of their daughters to an American. Tho Mexican, bear in mind, s possessed of tho ineradicable idea that Americans are all rolling in wealth. This idea is a source of never-ceasing envy on tho part of one sex and satisfaction to tho other. Whon an American narrios a Mexican girl her whole fara- ly, her sisters, cousins, aunts, etc., and all their sisters, cousins, aunts, etc., for a hundred miles around are invited to the wedding. This includes every blood •elation to the very remotest. Thoy lot only come, which is bad,°but thoy stay, which is worse. There they camp, xnd until every ounce of food and every ioll.'ir in sig-ht is g-ono there thoy continue to camp, and should tho luckless bride- crroom havo employment they stay still ongor, encouraged in tho most natural uid artless manner by their very hospita- Jlorolative, the bride. Thefeolingsof tho groom under such circumstances can be inagined, but a protest only moots with ears from tho bride and indignant aston- shment from the guests, before which he bridegroom generally succumbs. It s apparent that the Mexican merely gauges tho hospitality and charity of 3thers by his own, and wants to be done jy as he does to others. The AKB <>f Association*. Mons. Argellio, of the Paris Perfect- ureof Police, calls attention to tho re- n arkablo degree in which tho division if labor principle is being applied to ho operations of tho criminal classes. There are associations of professional lorse-thieves and mutual aid societies f professional burglars, and division of abor has resulted in producing several xtremely deceptive counterfeit treas- .ry notes. Ono specially clever hun- rod francs bill wa/3 ascertained to havo jeen tho work of five confederates — ono lapor-tnaker, one art-printer and three xpert engravers. Uoyal Widow j in Europe. Almost every country in Europe pos- osses an illustrious widow, from Vicoria in England to the young Duchess f Aosta, in Italy; Empress Frederick, n Germany; Christiana, in Spain; Charotte, wife of Maximilian. Emperor of lexico, who is melancholy mad in tho ' ie 'bateau of Conchont; Princess Stephan Archduchess of Austria, and Natalie, vorse than widowed ex-Queen of iorvia, and the unhappy, heart-broken of the IMPORTED QiQABB, IKttre* Shotting the ttwtabo* of . Consumed In ThU Conntfy. "As neat as we can get at it," said cigar dealer the other day to a representative of tho Chicago Evening Journal, "we calculate that there are thirteen million smokers in tho Unitec States. Wo haven't been able to got ii down fine enough yet to estimate how many of these smoke cigars, what proportion tho pipe, or the number of those who inhale tho delusive cigarette, but wo can got pretty close to tho number who go in for imported cigars. And thai number surprised toe when I figured il out. Not ono person in a thousand would bo able to guess anywhere near it, after knowing the total number oi smokers in tho country. Now, out oi those thirteen million smokers bow many indulge in Havanas?" "About four million," replied the reporter. "That's tho nearest to tho number of any guess I've had, and I havo a standing offer of a box of the best Perfeotos to tho man who guesses within half a million of tho actual figures. I'm sorry, but near as you came you havo not won tho box. You're out of tho way, though, only about four million in your guess. Now, thon, if you'll tell mo whether you are too high or too low I'll give you tho Perfectos." "Too low, of course." "Exactly. That's what thoy all think. I'm sorry, young man, but you don't get tho box. You're just 8,984,000 smokers too high in your estimate. Hardly believe it, would you? Nobody would. But it's so, und there's no getting around it, Why, if there woro 4.000,000 consumers of Havana cigars in this country, how often do you suppose each ono would got a Havana to smoke? Just about three a month. That is, if all tho cigars imported from Cuba into tho United States wero equally divided among 4,000,000 smokers, each smoker would have twenty-five cigars 'and a piece of ono. At the outside, wo tako from Cuba 110,000,000 cigars a year. This is all the demand calls for. Consequently, wo smoke in round numbers 330,000 of them every day. "I think it is fair to give five cigars as each smoker's daily average. So wo seo by easy figuring that just 60,000 persons aro all that are required to got away with all the imported cigars- that tho United States consumes annually. Astonishing, isn't it? Out of an army of 13,000,000 people in this country who smoke, only 60,000 indulge in tho luxury of imported cigars, but that 06,000 pay not loss than an average of ono dollar apiece every day for the privilege, which makes tho snug little sum of §32,000,000 a year which goes up in tho fragrant smoke of tho Havana in this great and glorious land." A WONDERFUL PLANT. Tho Seed found In the Craw of a Crane. A truly wonderful plant is at tho Aile- jhany conservatory, says the Pittsburgh Chronicle. No ono knows to what class it belongs or any thing about it. It is tho subject of much speculation among botanists, and they anxiously await the development of a bud that is forming. Thon, they say, thoy can place the plant. The botanists have a suspicion that the plant is a tropical ono, ind Superintendent Hamilton is troat- ng it on that supposition. Tho history of the plant so far as known is a unique ono. During tbo summer one of a party of gunners n-ought down a orano. It was a beautiful specimen and tho taxidermist of tho party sot to work to mount. it. In tho aird'a craw wero found several seeds. With a view of learning if the seed was killed by tho bird eating it they were placed in water. In a fow days tho seeds sprouted. Thoy woro planted in loam and kept in a warm room. Edward V. McCandless took charge of it. Tho jlant was an object of interest to Mr. McCandless and his botanist friends and ts development was'closely watched. ;t was transferred to the conservatory. The leaves are long and broad and lieavy, not unlik e a species of palm. The Champion Pretzel Eater. There is a German boy employed in a iarber shop in Newark, says tho New York Sun, whoso claim to distinction ies in the fact that he ate twenty pretzels ono day to win a dollar. Tho time limit was two hours, and the pretzels were of standard size and well salted. Ho was eating a pretzel when a customer \sked him how many ho thought ho "iould eat. "About dwendy," the boy answered. Tho customer remarked that he would {five him a dollar and pay for the pretz- ols if he ate twenty in two hours. Tho joy went out and soon returned with iwenty-fivo pretzels on a stick. Then 10 began his task, and, after eating six, ho took a drink of water. The seven- eenth pretzel burst a button off the vaistband of his trousers, and after that Bating became laborious. On the nine- eenth he consumed ton minutes, and vas inclined to give up, but the sight of i bright silver dollar spurred him on, and, getting a cup of coffee, he soaked ho twentieth in it and ate it triumphantly. He was uncomfortable for several lours afterward, but he incurred no bad iffects from the unusual meal. Now two f his friends want to back him in a iretzel-eating match with any boy of is age. A NoTel Advertisement. Not long ago an enterprising adver- iser hit upon the idea of making an lectrical tricycle carry his placards hrough tho streets. A moro realistic dea is that carried out by a firm of boll- lakers in a Western city. A miniature ot of chimes has been designed, to be ttached to an electrical tricycle, which vill travel around the city. In the ovver part of the frame on which the Mines are fixed is a keyboard of be- weeii two und throe octaves. This is 'layed in exactly the same way as the rgan or piano keyboard, and some very 'eautiful combinations aro rendered 'ossible. All the thirty bells forming ho set which aro hung on a rack are rung lectrioally. Attached to each of them is u electro-magnet, and the keys make circuit from a battery in the base to Ljfoi Mental Activity During tha eon of Slumber. 80*- instance» of the Action ot tlta Fofcc« Wlillo (he Bodily Sengei Were Aslncp—Some Sousntlon*. What is a dream? Simply the working of tho mind while the body is asloop. Tho mind does not need sleeps ^ least, in good health, it hover takes it. Sir William Hamilton declares says the Now York Sunday Journal, that the mind is never wholly inactive, and that we are novor entirely unconscious of its activity. Jouifroyis quoted as denying that during bodily sleep tho iniiid is dormant. Even if wo do not remembei our dreams, ho says, it is no proof that wo havo not dreamed. How many dreams leave only tho faintest trace on the memoryl It is, therefore, permitted to suppose that many dreams loave no trace at all. Kant said that wo always dream when asleep, and that to ceaso to dream would bo to ooaso to livo. People who talk of dreamless sleep use an expression which really is at variance with facts; tho mind works on, works ever. Whon any ono is engaged on a prolonged enterprise, like a great boook, tho building of an edifice, tho conduct of a military campaign, the negotiation of a valuable contract, he not only frequently dreams of his work, but the mind dreams of it at times when the memory does not record it distinctly. Th-is is tho "unconscious cerebration" which'has worn out so many brains and wrecked so many careers. When Sir Walter Scott was writing his great series of historical novels he recorded in his diary that whenever ho came to a difficult place, where his characters seemed to be in an inextricable situation, he waited patiently until the next morning, when on awakening, tho solution of tho whole trouble would come into his mind. This was because tho "unconscious cerebration," which in time was to use up tho splendid brain, had been going on all night.solving tho difficulty while tho author's body was allowed to take repose. Sometimes tho body is influenced by its surroundings, or by certain sensations which penetrate through tho vail of sleep—so that tho mind indulges in pranks, such as afflicted good Dr. Gregory. • This wise man had a bottle of hot water put at his feet on going to bod ono cold night. Presently he burned his toes so severely that ho dreamed he was climbing Mount Etna and that his feet, breaking through tho volcanic soil, wero burned in hot lava. When ho awoko and found that the water bottle was the cause of the dream, ho at once regarded it as a curious instance of tho effect of the sense of touch in dreams. His case was like that of another doctor, who, having had his head blistered, fell asleep and dreamed that ho was being scalped by Indiana. Another instance of the association of tho sensation of touch with dreams was that of a Western pioneer who, being in camp ono night wrapped in his blankets, dreamed that he was climbing the side of an iceberg, and that his faco was pained by coming in contact with the iso. Presently ho awoko with a start and found that tho cold nose of a wolf was touching his cheek. A French scientist once experimented on himself by operating on his mind, through tho sense of touch, while ho was asleep. Ho left his knees uncovered when he wont to bed one cold night and dreamed that ho was riding on a stage coach in a terriblo tempest, during which he suffered terribly from cold knees. Surroundings often give the primal impulse to tho mind, so that when it dreams it is merely carrying out an impression partly formed by tho bodily sense before the body fell asleep. How to Keep tin Umbrella. "Do you know how I have kept my umbrellas for years?" said a Now York man ono morning to his companion in tho train. "Well, I'll show you," and ho lifted up a fold of tho handsome silk ono ho had in his hand. Eight in tho center of the fold was a round hole. "First, thing I do," he said, "when I get a now umbrella is to out a hole in it about as big as a cookey close to the edge. That doesn't hurt the umbrella for service any, but it looks queer and nobody ever wants it. Nobody at home borrows it, nobody ever takes it 'by mistake;' or, if it is taken, the 'mistake' never lasts longer than it takes to open tho umbrella. It's surer than one's name, oven when you put 'stolen from oefore it, because nobody ever really believes that legend, you see, and it passes for a joke. 1 began putting this mark on my umbrella twelve years ago, and I've carried every umbrella I've bought since until tho silk wore out. And not one would have been taken off if I had carried it until the hole wore out." A Cat's Long Fait. An English immigrant who landed at the barge office the other day from the steamship Nevada, says the New York Sun, unsuspectingly brought with her a vagrant cat of the sterner sex from Liverpool. Tho woman's household articles wero stored in a big box. After tho box was dumped on the Guion line's pier at iverpool, she found that there was lomething in it that she wanted to use on the voyage. She had the box opened. The oat surreptitiously got into the opening, and presumably finding the eather bedding inside luxurious and .oporiflo, permitted itself to go to sleep and was nailed up. When the Customs .npeotors opened the box on the Guion ine pier here they were startled to find ho cat, so emanciated from his seven- ieen days' fast that his ribs protruded ike barrel hoops. The ship's carpenter gave him a bowl of milk and he braced Up11 f?^ iately - Tbe carpenter appr^ priatedhim and he w iu h.<jw»a|tej? bathe A PATBlOTId BOUTHERNEft. Mfltoct of a Stagfl Rcone on A Mixn from Memphis. . A young business man of Memphis, while irt Boston recently on hia vaca j tion, went to ft mstineo' performance of '"the Blue and tho Gray," says tho Memphis Democrat. A young lady cousin accompanied him. When tho soldiers in blue appeared on the stage tho New England audience fairly shouted in applause. That was natural, and tho young Momphian and his fair companion looked on interested and am used. Af a while the "boys in gray" came* upon tho stage. It waa just at tho point of tho play to provoke a wide-open rebel yell, and before he waa conscious of i( the impulsive young Momphian gave a whoop that may not have been a genuine' robol yell, but it was equally startling, and tho audience craned their necks to get a glimpse of tho wild man from tho South, whose enthusiasm over tho color his fath er wore in battle got the hotter of his judgment as ho stood up, and, with a wild wave of his hand, shouted: "Hurrah for the Southland, she will yet bo (res I Tho homo of the Johnstons nnd Eobort E. Loo." < "Do sit down and be quiet," pleaded his gentle cousin. "You will get into trouble." "Well, I'll be at the scrapping match," he growled, as he yielded to the strenuous tug at his ooatskirts and subsided. For about ten seconds he had commanded the undivided attention of tho house, actors and all, and when ho sat down there was about five seconds of deathlike silence, and thon an audiblo smile rippled over tho audience, and the boys in gray marched into the wings. The story leaked out through a lottet from the lady that 'accompanied him, and who is still in tho East, to a friend in this city. When a Democrat reporter asked tho young man about it, he knew the jig was up, and confessed. "I just couldn't help it," he said. "It appears that I was the only Southerner in the audience, for I don't believe that any Southern man could havo suppressed a cheer on that occasion. I must confess that I felt rather peculiar after I had cooled down." "Where did you get that little couplet?" "What couplet?" "Why, that rhyme about Johnston and Lee," and tho reporter quoted from the letter. "That does jingle, doesn't it. I hadn't thought of that before—purely accidental." This incident f urnishes a text for sermonizing on sectionalism. Tho North will shout for tho blue, and the South will yell for the gray, while they shako hands with each other across the bloody chasm. "It all depends on how one is raised." A MATRIMONIAL BRIEF. Proposal of a Bashful Lawyer in Truo teg-al Form. It is said that a certain legal bachelor, who is soon to be married, is not as bold an advocato before tho romantic tribunal pf love as ho is at tho bar of justice, Hays the Louisville Post. For many years ho conducted his own cause in ouch a faint-hearted manner and deferred his argument for so long a time that tho case promised to be as interminable as somo of the attorney's own legal actions which have been dragging through tho legal courts for yoars, Tho lawyer-lover had, on several occasions, made up his mind to submit his case to his lady love on its merits, but his courage invariably failed him. Being unacquainted with the arts of love and tbo language thereof, ho feared to address her by letter, but ho finally hit upon the novel plan of "briefing" 'his case. Ho reviewed tho whole courtship from a strict legal construction, couched bis appeal In legal phraseology, entered a formal motion that tho case be decided on its merits, and dispatched the document to his lady l»vo by his office- boy. The same morning it oarae back with tho following indorsement in a chirography that tho delighted counsel recognized as that of the fair arbiter of his destiny: "Came this day into court A. B., by attorney, who moves that tho cause of A. B. vs. C. D. bo decided upon tho testimony now before tho court; tho do- fondant having waived a jury it is ordered by tho court that judgment bo entered for the plaintiff and the process of execution issue at once." The plaintiff, however, was not quite ready, and ho permitted the defendant to file a replevin bond at six months. At the expiration of that time the lawyer will tako possession of his fair property, and a cause celebre will como to a fitting end. THE HAND OF TIME. It Leaves MarUs Whion Can Not He El- liiced by Art. Art can do a great deal in this age of progression, and can make a woman of forty look not a day over twenty-five or thirty—if, in tho inspection, 'magnifying glasses are tabooed. • But when a, woman reaches tho age of forty-five or fifty there is one never-failing evidence that the years that belonged to youth have slipped away, and all tho arts of ancient Rome and the wonderful discoveries of the present day can not hide the fact that old ago is within a stone's throw. This evidence is the hand, bays the Chicago Herald. The roundness will disappear from the cheek with its fairness, and both can be brought back again. When timo clutches the hand of a woman, however, it loaves its mark, and the imprint can not bo elfaccd. Declining years leave an abundance of flesh in its wake, but the band will receive none of it, and the skin, that waa once so white and well filled out, will settle down to tho bones, russet colored, relieved qnly by large purple veins that seem bursting with blood. Or if tho flesh remains faithful to tho contour of tho hand, the skin gets rough and tho colo/.^ parchment, and all of tho cold creams <mow» to science will do no more than sort of sandpaper the roughness dowu to small, eveft scales. If liver spots and freckles aj.-o driven from the face ar.d refuge in the hand, and

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