The Daily Telegraph from London, Greater London, England • 64

34 Weekend Telegraph page Saturday June 28 1997 The back This week: eating weeds in New York (the best dinner I've had there in a long time) and Vong without the throng Illustration: LUCINDA ROGERS Andrew Lloyd Webber Matters of taste HERE much talk in New York last week about weeds. I am not referring the target of the acres of think-pieces regarding tobacco companies and their plight. I speak of weeds of the edible variety. The American language has, of course, now become so completely different to ours in meaning and sound that if you see a headline about edible weeds you brace yourself for an article that could be about practically anything. For instance, and I promise you this story is true, the other morning I received a call from my US theatre office.

A meeting about the future of By Jeeves had ended in a rout. Of whom? I wondered. The show was happily playing in Washington, or at least so I thought. Had my chaps been vanquished by a consortium of greedy theatre owners? "No, we have a big long rout." I was baffled. "We rout for a short time in New York and end up routing in Chicago." Now Chicago is the big hit on Broadway this season.

It seems most unfair that Bertie and co should be causing mayhem in its vicinity. "We can't do that." "Of course we can," was the reply. "We have a huge rout on our The penny dropped. "I think I understand you. You mean a route." "No, a root is something you eat.

You write too much about food these My theatre man spoke with an air of quiet desperation. And so it went on, rather in the manner of the conversation with a waitress that I reported a while back about egg beaters, which I had wrongly presumed were wire whisks. The reason for all this excitement in New York about weeds is Jean the new flagship restaurant of JeanGeorges Vongerichten. His claim to fame this side of the pond is Vong in the Berkeley Hotel, of which more anon. Jean-Georges is the talk of New York and rightly so.

It has just received the maximum rating of the New York Times and tables are currently more difficult to obtain than a private audience with the Pope. The restaurant is housed on the ground floor of Donald Trump's golden gaudy new hotel at the south end of Central Park West. There is a wooden-floored bar and 08 Jean-Georges, Central Park West, New York, where 'tables are more difficult to obtain than a private audience with the Pope' cafe through which you pass to the tall and vast modishly minimalist room which houses the proper nosherie. Lighting is subdued, the service is professional but delightfully informal and, worryingly, only two lavatories -I mean make do for the not inconrest siderable throng for Vong. Jean-Georges is massively about weeds, or wild and not so wild herbs to you and I.

Mr Vongerichten has consulted Couplan, who has become celebrated in France for his cataloguing and cultivation of wild herbs of all descriptions. Couplan claims that there are 2,500 Hiccup causes fire-eater's bad hair day A BRAVE male stripper cum fire-eater who goes by the stage name of "Highlander" refused to let the side down after he had a serious mishap at a ladies' night in Staffordshire. As the Burntwood Mercury reports, 25-year-old Paul Westhead, from Sheffield, was doing his act before the women at the Enot Sports and Social Club in Lichfield when he hiccuped. According 1 to one female spectator: "He was juggling with the fire and took a sip of some flammable fluid. As he went to blow the flames, hair at either side of his face caught fire." Mr Westhead, whose body was smeared with baby oil, dropped his flaming batons THE ROYAL WEDDING PROCESSION MUG by Royal Worcester CARY 1947-1997 EDITION LIMITED I 3500 ROYAL WORCESTER The 20th November 1947 will always be remembered as the day Princess Elizabeth and Lieut.

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"He was a true performer," said the eyewitness. Highlander, who had first-degree burns, was taken to Queens Hospital in Burton but was later discharged. Wake-up call BIZARRE tidings from a funeral parlour in Ballycourney, County Cork, where 6ft 4in former US marine Willis Baynes-Nash attached himself to a party of mourners and, with his bat, attacked the corpse of a man he didn't know while telling it to "wake As the Irish Independent reports, Baynes-Nash later told Macroom District Court: "I thought I was in a dream. I went up and saw the corpse. I hit it and said: 'Wake up, wake former marine, who lives near Macroom, was led away by distressed mourners.

But he then threatened both the High-starch road to Scotland A COUPLE from Chippenham, in Wiltshire, were so hungry for air miles with which to take their three infant sons to Scotland to see their grandfather that they took advantage of a supermarket promotion and bought 362 packets of Quickcook spaghetti. As the Western Daily Press reports, Annabel and Ben Reddick spent £160 on the pasta because their local Sainsbury's was offering extra air-miles points on it. The couple already had enough air miles for themselves to fly from Bristol to Edinburgh, but now their sons can go with them for "We plan to sell all the spaghetti half-price at a carboot sale in Castle Combe," said Mr Reddick. The supermarket said that if any of the packets were unsold, points are also available on "a range of ready-made nation, as was boiled squab with a zesty onion compote with foie gras. A lobster tartine served with pea shoots and a lobster broth, which had been infused with pumpkin fenugreek seeds overnight was totally original.

Proceedings drew to a close with a splendid roasted pear. Were Queen Anne's Lace seeds involved? It would not surprise me, as I tried some once and they. taste a bit like pear. Further, he owns up to them in his Needless to say, everything else was stunning, from bread to petits fours and a flat biscuit with preserved kiwi fruit in the middle that looked like an edible gaming chip. Vongerichten is involved in several other ventures in Manhattan, as well as his Vong in London imminent Vong in Hong Kong.

So it is to be hoped that all these enterprises do not lure him from his foraging patch in upstate New York it is not every day you taste a herb like sassafras or purslane. The former is like a cross between a joss-stick and root beer. The wine list is long, expensive and French orientated for this city. With all these exotic and new flavours, you could spend forever marrying the right wines with the right dish. This was the best and most exciting rollercoaster of a dinner I have had in New York in a long time.

I just wish I knew more about how this cooking is created. Reckon a good $75 (£46) a head with one of the cheaper wines. By complete coincidence my first lunch invitation back on these shores was to Vong in the Berkeley Hotel. I went there just after it opened more than a year ago and had been rather irritated by the place. It is the joint that has cramped tables down the middle of the room into which you squeeze the rich and powerful who are not famous faces.

Thus they can all fall over each other and imagine they are instantly recognisable. However, at my lunch the place was a rather deserted shadow of its former. seething self. The food, though, was considerably better than at my last visit. I was not wild about a warm peanut dip with rice cakes, because I am not wild about peanuts.

But I was much taken by the prawn satay which was a prawn wrapped in a deep-fried mousse, rather like the freebie at Jean-Georges. Lobster roll was dull and veering towards the over-chilled but a quail in a barbecue goo was stuff kids would die for, and no worse for that. bass with confit tomato came with sweetcorn in a sauce based on chicken stock, with lemon- for once used sparingly. It was a simple dish but very impressive. I enjoyed a youthful-tasting dry Australian Chardonnay from Shaw Smith from the southern region.

Lunch with wine was about £40 a head. There is a £45 tasting menu if you are so inclined. If you fancy dining between six and seven you can get away with a "black plate" menu at £17-50, whatever that means. Jean-Georges, 1 Central Park West, New York (001 212 299 3900). Vong, Wilton Place, London, SWI (0171 235 1010).

ner in a style more in the spicy manner of Vong than the rest of Jean-Georges's outpourings. There was terrific porcini tart with onion and walnut. The dressing for the salad tasted lemony but in fact the flavour came from wood sorrel. Sea scallops came coated with a raisin emulsion that was sweet yet subtle. Duck came with beetroot and was spiced with cinnamon and coriander.

It came with a jus made from a reduction duck bones slightly sweetened with honey. Rack of lamb came with a herb crust. There was a livery blend of garlic mustard leaves, lamb's brains and breadcrumbs. This was an outstanding combi- Bull's-eye for ballet darts PUB darts has attained new artistic heights in Sheffield with the Red Arrers possibly the world's only formation darts display team. According to the team leader, Stewart Lodge, the five Arrers wear red T-shirts and start their 20-minute act carrying a pint and a dart each.

As he told the Weekly News: "We start in a V- shape, marching round with pints in one hand and darts poised in throwing position to the tune of Semper Fidelis. Then we go into the practice-throw display." The Arrers then do their "smoking display" to the strains of The Dambusters' single March. file, "We each all line lights up up in a cigarette, has a big puff then breaks away off to the left, next one off to the right, and so on," explained Mr Lodge. The Arrers then chuck their darts and burst a balloon each before launching into a thrilling finale: "'The Human Bridge' routine, accompanied by the music from Thunderbirds. "Four of us line up and lift the smallest player in our said Mr Lodge.

"He becomes a human dart and we run at the dartboard with him so he can spear the remaining balloons. Another march, and a salute to the dartboard, and that's it." Compiled by TRISTAN DAVIES. We pay £10 for items used on this page. Send them to Parish Pump, Weekend, Daily Telegraph, 1 Canada Square, Canary Wharf, London E14 5DT. Owing to the great number received, we regret that it is not possible to acknowledge entries to Parish Pump.

Classic cartoons chosen by MATT 'We've already done this room. I remember that fire extinguisher' Drawing by Tobey 1953 The New Yorker Magazine Inc Five minute wonder The world condensed 50: Slogan translations This week Nike recalled a range of trainers on hearing that the new flame-shaped logo offended the Muslim community because it was similar to the Arabic script for Allah. Last year the mobile telephone company Orange had to rethink its campaign in Ulster after the slogan 'The future's bright, the future's Orange" to be politically insensitive. Vauxhall had problems with its Nova range in Spain as means "won't go" in Spanish. Ford failed to launch the Pinto car in Brazil as Pinto is Brazilian slang for small male genitals.

Rolls-Royce could not market its Silver Mist range in Germany as mist translates as excrement. The Kentucky Fried Chicken slogan "Finger lickin' good" came out as "Eat your finger off" in Chinese, and Cola had to be renamed translated as "Bite the wax The Pepsi slogan "Come alive with the Pepsi generation" became "Pepsi will bring your ancestors back from dead" in Taiwan. A Parker pen marketed in Mexico with the supposed slogan "It won't leak in your pocket and embarrass you" went wrong when Parker misspelt the Spanish verb embarazar. The slogan came out as "'It won't leak in your pocket and make you pregnant. Peugeot advertised Inca range alongside its Aztec edition under slogan "Mexican A Mexican embassy spokesman said that the adverts had tourists: confuseded the holidays, then were unhappy to discover that the Inca people did not live in Mexico but Peru." edible plants in the United States and that so far only a quarter are really known.

Mr Vongerichten's are cultivated on acre plot in Newburgh, NY. The result his restaurant is an astonishing, beguiling and kaleidoscopic range of tastes that frequently mislead you Whine you try to guess what is what flavouring department. The nearest approach to this bravura use of greenery and spices that I have encountered in this country is Keith Read's antics at the Leatherne Bottel in Goring-on-Thames, Berkshire. A spicy lobster mousse in a deep-fried zucchini flower kicked off a faultless din- Parish the wake undertaker's son and the wheelchair-bound proprietor of a nearby supermarket, before chasing a 15-year-old boy, and threatening the boy's father with a ballpoint pen. Baynes-Nash said he had been drinking after an aunt had had a heart attack and a friend had died of cancer.

Sentencing was deferred until September. Usage and abusage Praise be the new loo RECYCLING news from St Mary of the Angels Roman Catholic parish church in Canton, Cardiff, where refurbishment plans of a very earthly nature are currently under discussion. As Father John Maguire confirmed to the Western Mail: "They are only at a consultation stage, but we are looking at the possibility of turning a former confessional box into a toilet." Maccording to Angels the paper, of St the few churches in the Cardiff archdiocese not to have an indoor loo. The new confessional convenience would be tucked discreetly at the back of the church. As Father Maguire would imagine that 99 per cent of the congregation would not have to make use of it.

However, there are always a few, especially people with young children, who will need to use it during Mass or a wedding." Man mislays car and marbles POLICE in Stourbridge faced an unusual challenge when an elderly local forgot where he had parked his car. As the Dudley Express Star reports, the pensioner had also forgotten the car's make and registration number but he did find its MoT. certificate. The officers immediately matched the registration to a Toyota that had been left in the town centre only to have the man deny vehemently that the car was his. Having logged on to the national computer, two policemen were then able to persuade the pensioner of his ownership.

He promptly thanked them before climbing absent-mindedly into their patrol car and attempting to drive off in it. SEEN in a newsagent's window Pembrokeshire: "Large dog for sale. Will eat anything. Likes children." IN THIS job, as with all cursory research, one often looks up one word and discovers half-adozen others only to find that some evoke further useless information already tucked away in one's memory bank. In these days of openly flaunted transvestism (pseudo-Latin for caused by "gender dysphoria" (from dys, bad phoria, feeling), possibly leading to "gender reassignment" (surgical sex-change) performed on the NHS, one wonders what people did in the past, when such conditions were suffered (or enjoyed) in private.

Well, the OED, that fount of universal knowledge, tells us what some Irish nationalist transvestites got up to, to subliminate urges that most of us find inexplicable. They used transvestism as a weapon in the struggle against Anglo-Irish landlords, calling themselves (and each other) "Molly Maguire" "members of a secret society formed in Ireland in 1843 for the purpose of resisting the payment of A 1868 quotation explains that "these 'Molly Maguires' were generally like that stout active young men, dressed up in women's clothes became the terror of all our They thus neatly combined pleasure with principles (not unlike today's members of Rock Against Racism): maybe they used their handbags as weapons. In 1879, moreover, the idea was taken up by American miners in a dispute with their employers (why didn't Arthur Scargill think of it during the miners' As terror goes, it seems pretty harmless no worse than a bout of which I also came across in the OED: from bum dock, rump; and douse, to beat or thump: "a kinde of game wherein three hit each other on the bumme with one of their feet Fritz Spiegl.