Ours, Yours And Theirs The Circle ville Herald, Tuesday February 12, 1 974 LAFF - A - DAY A Page Of Opinion Crisis Solving A common pattern of dependency is evident in many of the crises which arise to confront the American people. Whether it is the collapse of many of the railroad systems, the disruption of petroleum resources, periodic food shortages or the overall debilitating effects of rampant inflation, the nation inevitably turns to Washington for salvation. The nation's capital is not necessarily where the answers lie. It may be Washington which has created the problems. The common thread through many of the crises is already heavy involvement by government in an industry and the inability of government agencies to move quickly or resolutely enough to meet changing requirements. For years it was government policy to hold down wheat production to it was said provide the farmer a decent income. When the demand for wheat mushroomed because of heavy foreign sales, wheat farmers were unable to meet the demand largely because they were restrained from planting more. Government efforts to deflate inflation in the last two years through economic controls have created near record rates of inflation. Could a free economy have responded more favorably? It is time to give it a try. A Week For Inventors NEW YÓRK-This is National Inventors’ Week, which appropriately began with Tom Edison’s birthday. It is approved by the Congress, and the Inventors’ Hall of Fame in Arlington, Va., center of the ceremonies, is underwritten by the Patent lawyers Associations of America. The hall was set up two years ago and until now Edison—who invented everything with the possible exception of a Sanskrit cash register—has been the only hero enshrined. But his ghost will be joined this week by the creators of some commodities and conveniences without which we could hardly function today: his friend, Alexander Graham Bell, who invented the telephone, Eli Whitney, father of the cotton gin, and three living inventors, John Bardeen, W. H. Brattain and William Shockley. They gave us (and, notably, the Japanese) the transistor. Alas, Abe Lincoln, who was just about to celebrate his 38th birthday the day Edison was born, won’t make the Valhalla of Tinkerers this year. Abe was granted patent no. 6469 while serving his single term as a Congressman from Illinois (1847-49). Lincoln’s brainchild was described by his patent attorney as a “device for buoying vessels over shoals.’’ The man who was to write the Emancipation Proclamation and the Gettysburg speech in this instance was inspired to fashion a string of air bags that, spaced around a vessel below its waterline and inflated by bellows, would allow said ship to conquer razory rapids and shallow water in general. The historians tell us little or nothing about Abe the Inventor. (And, incidentally, whatever became of his Birthday?) But if he made anything out of the ship corset—his whittled model is in the Smithsonian Institution in Washington—it was peanuts compared to the money made by, let’s say, Rose Marie Reid, credited with inventing the bra. Or the income the wife of the incomparable Richard Rodgers has made from Johnny Mop, the toilet- bowl cleaning system available in most supermarkets today. Hedy Lamarr is not the first name that would pop into most minds if suddenly confronted with a question like “name a great inventor.’’ But while married to then-Captain Gene Markey, USN, she was designated as co-inventor of a highly sophisticated system designed to guide a torpedo to a moving enemy ship. Patent No. 2,292,387 gives her credit under her legal name, Hedwig Keisler Markey. About 15 per cent of all patent applications filed every year come from women. They are usually less ominous than the one obtained by Hedwig Keisler Markey. In 1961, a patent was issued to Bird A. Byer. It was a toothbrush for dogs. ON THE LINE By BOB CONSIDINE Betty Galloway of Georgetown, S. C., was only 10 when she was knighted, if that’s the word, by the U.S. Patent Office, for her invention of a bubble- making toy. She was indignant. It had taken a great swatch out of her life, fighting to get that patent. She invented the bubble-blower when she was seven. Lillian Russell, who should nave invented the bra, instead invented a trunk with drawers to hold her unmentionables and Diamond Jim Brady’s baubles, egad. Lillian Drennen, on the shady side of 60, came up with a patentable aid to respiratory disease sufferers, to add to her patents on a folding boat ladder, a balloon signal for boats in distress, directional aids for traffic lights and numerous items related to medical therapy. Ms. Drennen has no formal schooling to speak of. But then two male inventors, Edison and Lincoln, had a combined total of seven years of formal education. Berth A. Dlugi got a patent for parakeet diapers. Beula Louise Henry of Raleigh, N. C., has 58 inventions to her credit. Mark Twain had three invention«? to his credit: an innovation in the exciting world of suspenders, a game to help people remember famous dates in history, and, by all odds, his most successful invention—a self-pasting scrapbook. Paul Winchell, the ventriloquist, has a patent on a plastic valve that can replace ailing valves leading to the heart. My four readers will be chagrined to learn that a patent I applied for when I was a messenger boy and had smoked my first cigaret was turned down. Not being able to afford matches, I invented a cigaret that could be scratched like a match. A bit of tasteless sulphur at the tip of the cigaret would ignite when scratched across a rough surface, like the seat of one’s pants, and therefore get the tobacco in the cigaret to burn. While waiting to hear from the Patent Office, the biggest torment of my life was whether to buy the U.S. leviathan or a dozen Pierce-Arrows. It was with considerable sadness that I learned there were 71,999 similar applications before mine. This experience has always made me feel closer to A. Lincoln. According To Boyle By HAL BOYLE NEW YORK (AP) — You’re a loser if - When you’re in the hospital, all people send you are used get-well cards. The members of your country club would rather go out in a threesome than let you make it a foursome. You can’t call any headwaiter in town by his first name. A book club refuses to let you join it on moral grounds. You’ve also been blackballed by the local Elks club. Your wife earns more money by taking in washing than you get paid on your job. When you go to a cocktail party, the other guests form a circle around you, point to your shirt and chant “ring around the collar.” It took you 15 years to graduate from a correspondence school because you were too cheap to take it by airmail. Any cigarettes you smoke you have to snitch from your dear old mother’s pack. Your favorite card game is solitaire because you don’t have to know anyone else to play it. Three-fourths of all the crabgrass in your block grows on your front lawn. All the hippies in the neighborhood think you are giving the street a bad Mrs growler RAISES THE RO Of WHEN SHE FINOS A SPECK ON A VEGETABLE IN THE SOOPER MART DUT GET A LOAP OF THE FRUITS ANP VEGETABLES IN HER FRIPGE- PRY WILTEP ANP WRINKLEP- • • name. There is nobody in the world you can disinherit because you don’t have anything that anyone else in the world would accept as a gift anyway. In your Dale Carnegie class you were unanimously voted the one least likely to succeed. You can’t win the heart of the girl next door, because she couldn’t stand the sight of the boy next door. When your ship finally did come in, it promptly sank at the pier. You don’t owe money to anyone you know, because anyone who knows you wouldn’t lend you any. They won’t admit you to a pornographic movie unless you are accompanied by a policeman who will guarantee your conduct. If you ask a stranger what time it is, he takes a firm grip on his wristwatch before telling you. Your personality is so depressing that, as soon as you leave your favorite bar, the bartender goes to see a psychiatrist. Yep, you’re such a loser you should consider hanging yourself. You would, too, except for the fact that when you were a Boy Scout you failed to win a Merit Badge because you couldn’t learn how to tie a knot properly. Today In History By THE ASSOCIATED PRESS Today is Tuesday, Feb. 12, the 43rd day of 1974. There are 322 days left in the year. This is Lincoln’s Birthday. Today’s highlight in history: On this date in 1809, Abraham Lincoln was born in what was then Hardin County, Ky. On this date: In 1554, I,ady Jane Grey, who had been Queen of England for 10 days, was beheaded after being charged with treason. In 1733, English colonists led by James Oglethorpe landed at Savannah, Ga. In 1870, all women in the Utah Territory were granted full suffrage. In 1912, China became a republic as the Manchu Dynasty was overthrown by Dr. Sun Yat-sen. In 1914, ground was broken for the Uncoln Memorial in Washington. In 1953, the Soviet Union broke off diplomatic relations with Israel after terrorists bombed the Soviet legation in Tel Aviv. Ten years ago ... British Prime Minister Sir Alec Douglas-Home arrived in Washington for talks with U.S. officials about fighting on Cyprus and other international problems. Five years ago ... the civil rights leader, James Farmer, was named assistant secretary of welfare. One year ago ... The United States announced a 10 per cent devaluation of the dollar. Today’s birthdays: Gen. Omar Bradley is 81 years old. Actor Lome Green is 59. Interior decorator William Pahlmann is 68. Thought for today: I claim not to have controlled events, but confess plainly that events have controlled me. Abraham Lincoln. Editions Of The Past 40 Years Ago 1934 A rotation system for the Circleville Police Department was announced by safety director Leroy T. Shaner acting with the approval of Mayor W. B. Cady. The system was for the night officers only to make their work less boring. Those affected are: Alva Shasteen, Raymond Smith, Fred Fitzpatrick, Karl Radcliff. 2-12- iPu i11 — O Km. F~«u,e. Syndic.».. Inc.. 1974. Wo,Id ,i«ku ie~rv.d “I’m glad my playing always brightens your day, Professor... even though it’s only when I leave.” Speaking Of Your Health by letter I Coleman, M D I 1 < After the birth of my second child I developed a “milk leg.” Does this mean that I would be susceptible to this condition if I decide to have more children? Mrs. H. M., W. Va. Dear Mrs. M.: “Milk leg” is known by the rather enchanting name of “phlegmasia alba dolens.” An infection of the veins of the legs (phlebitis) or a clot in the veins interferes with the normal circulation and results in swelling of the legs. Milk, of course, has nothing to do with the onset of this condition. The only way to avoid a recurrence of a “milk leg” with subsequent pregnancies is to seek any underlying conditions that may predispose you to it. recognized to have some form of “dyslexia.” This broad term includes a long number of reading and writing disorders. We now have many excellent ways to study muscle balance of the eyes and errors in refraction. These, in addition to neurological and psychological examinations, may pinpoint the exact cause of your son’s image reversal. With proper re-education and training devices, many of these problems can be corrected. I suggest you get started at once. Our 5-year-old son has a tendency to read and write certain words backward. Almost invariably he reads “was” as “saw.” Will he outgrow this? Mrs. L. L.,Ohio Dear Mrs. L.: I would not wait for time to remedy this condition. The reversal of “was” and “saw” may be but a fraction of visual problems that are not apparent and need correction. Many children, previously considered “slow learners,” are now My father, as did his father before him, wears dental plates that were ordered by mail. I can’t convince him that this is foolish and possibly dangerous. MissG. A., S. C. Dear Miss A.: If there is anything that should not be bought by mail it seems to me it would be dental plates, which should fit precisely. Improper bite may lead to changes in the jaw joint which can be painful and interfere with chewing and proper digestion. One of the most important advantages of being examined by a dentist is, of course, the early recognition of diseases and tumors that might otherwise be overlooked. A marriage license was issued to Kenneth Azbell, 21 Laurelville, farmer, and Faye Stevens, Saltcreek Twp. Business World By JOHN CUNNIFF AP Business Analyst A new system of prices for the annual Pickaway County cage tournament has been worked out by Dr. A. D. Blackburn, tournament manager. Tickets for the entire tournament have been put on sale in all schools at the price of $1.25. With 17 games scheduled, this figures about 7 M j cents per contest. Members of the Methodist Episcopal Church Men’s Club for the coming year are: Glen R. Geib, editor of The Herald, president; Dwight Steele, vice president; Walden Reichelderfer, secretary; H. W. Plum, treasurer. Plans were outlined for the annual Washington’s birthday supper sponsored by the club. Metzenbaum Backs Daylight Time End WASHINGTON (AP) - Sen. Howard Metzenbaum, D-Ohio, added his name to the list of sponsors of a measure which would repeal winter Daylight Saving Time. The bill is in the Senate Commerce Committee. “Daylight Saving Time will not save enough energy to overcome the problems it has created,” Met zenbaum said in a statement Monday. Newcastle, N.B. was the boyhood home of Lord Beaverbrook. The Herald A (ialvin Newspaper STEVE JONES Editor TOM PURCELL Advertising Manager HILL HAI.STENBERG Production Manager PAULK. RODENFELS Publisher A daily newspaper consolidating The Herald and The Daily Union Circleville Herald. Entered Circleville as second class matter at the Post Office under the act of March 3, 1879. Second Class postage paid at Circleville, Ohio. Published every afternoon except Sunday at The Herald Building, 210 North Court Street, Circleville, Ohio, 6y the Circleville Publishing Company. SUBSCRIPTION PRICES By carrier in Circleville, 60 cents per week. By mail in'Pickaway County, $19. per year. Elsewhere in Ohio, $21. per year. Outside Ohio. $24. Mail rates apply only where carrier service is not available. Telephones Business 474-3131 News 474-3133 Postmaster: Send Form 579 to Box 498, Circleville, Ohio 43113. AMERICAN NEWSPAPER REPRESENTATIVES, INC. Atlanta—Chicago—Detroit Los Angeles—New York National AdverUsing Representative. NEW YORK (AP) — You can choose from dozens of theories that attempt to explain the stock market depression, but one that seems to be picking up believers is that the big banks are responsible. Surprisingly, among those who have been especially vocal in their belief are rather well-to-do executives who run companies that do hundreds of millions of dollars in business and employ thousands of workers. The banks, they maintain, have concentrated billions of dollars in shares of a relatively few extremely large companies, leaving hundreds of other “second tier” companies to scrounge for the leftovers. Because these leftovers are insufficient to support corporate expansion, so goes the theory, the second tier companies have to borrow money from the banks at high interest rates. As a result, the debt to equity ratio of some companies is said to be not only adverse but dangerous, and some executives are complaining to Congress about it. Michael Dingman, president of Wheelabrator-Frye, recently explained the market predicament of his company to a Senate subcommittee in these words: “The stock of Wheelabrator-Frye, Inc., is listed on the New York Stock Exchange. We are active in 22 countries. We have over 6,000 employes in this country alone, and over 80,000 public stockholders... “Despite the fact our sales have grown 33 per cent compounded over the past three years, and earnings per share from continuing operation have grown 71 per cent...our stock is selling at 13, which is just about its book value.” Dingman was speaking as a member of the Committee of Publicly Owned Companies, made up of scores of corporations which find their future growth thwarted by their inability to attract interest in their shares. And the big reason, many of the committee members feel, is that the big trust departments, which manage billions of dollars in pension funds, just aren’t interested in them no matter how profitable they are. To committee members, the situation not only is unjust but tragically wasteful. “The figures that we are submitting show, for example, that while in 1973 the Dow Jones industrials were down 13.6 per cent, the U.S. Trust Co., ‘Com mon Fund’ was down 22.85 per cent and Morgan Guaranty was down 20.78 per cent.” Among other recommendations therefore, the committee asks for a “limitation on concentration of investment by pension funds.” A limitation will, committee members believe, protect 30 million workers who are the beneficiaries of pension plans as well as: “... Help to prevent a few large banks from achieving excessive control over our economy by investing pension fund money which they control so as to acquire a dominant position in our leading corporations.” Rebellion Reported MANILA, Philippines (AP) — Government forces have driven Moslem rebels from the airfield in Jolo and regained control of most other disputed parts of the capital of the Sulu islands, in the southern Philippines, reliable sources reported today. There was no official confirmation of the report. But a message asking for relief supplies was received in Manila from the Roman Catholic bishop of Jolo, Bishop Philip Smith of Philadelphia, Pa. Sources in the Social Welfare Department said 20,000 refugees from Jolo have arrived by boat in Zam boanga, on southern Mindanao 100 miles northeast of Jolo and 500 miles south of Manila. The air force flew emergency supplies from Manila for them. Before the rebel attack on the town last Thursday, the normal population of 40,000 had been more than doubled by an influx of refugees from rebel activity on Jolo Island and elsewhere in the Sulus. The Moslem militants are fighting for independence, charging that the Philippine government has been encouraging Christians in the northern islands to move south and take Moslem lands. There are an estimated two million to four million Moslems on Mindanao and in the Sulus, but the Catholics now outnumber them on Mindanao, the southernmost of the main Philippine islands.
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