The Chillicothe Constitution-Tribune from Chillicothe, Missouri • Page 4

More Interesting World If 'These Its' Come True By HAL BOY LI NEW YORK Wl It niilht be a better world if-Every week hod two paydays one less Monday. Santa Clus was forbidden to hollar "ho, ho, ho!" any sooner than days Chrlstmac. Children hibernated during Illelr teen yeari and then woke up adults. learned how to lay caviar. No one could eiw fror advice wllhout first taking out a license.

Every golfer who told a lie had to listen to a fisherman tell a bigger one. Housewives had five hands. Husbands had a built-in homing instinct like that of a carrier pigeon. Hospitals charged no more than a good resort hotel. Sex had a better location.

Monkeys could be taught to do housework. All politicians believed in people as much as some people believe In politicians. All this country really needed was a good five-cent cigar. Television sets could be fixed as easily as some judges. It became harder to get married America than aborted or divorced.

The food industry developed a shortweight calorie so people could eat more without getting (at. Official statements were lamed only by real statesman. Honesty became a habit Instead of policy. Your dog and mine were as eager to eat canned canine food a Hie dogs shorn in television commercials. The government was allowed to tax the air we breathe--bu only on condition ihat it cleaned up first.

Supermarkets issued 8 leather flliiiiguards to prater shoppers from metal shoppm carts. Convicts receive one off their sentence for each da they didn't participate la a rlo or revolution. If only hair of our ifs cam true! It might not make for better world--but sure woul make for a more interestin one. TODAY IN HISTORY By THE ASSOCIATED PRBS Today Is Thursday, Sept. 23 the 26Bth day of 1971.

Ther are 99 days left in the year. Today's highlight in history On this date in 1789, the U.S Supreme Court was established On this date: In 63 B.C., the first Romai emperor, Augustus Cesar, wa born. In IflM, Lewis and 1 a completed their expedition explore territory west of th Mississippi River. In 1845, the first baseball clir in the United States, the Knic kerbocker Club New York was organized. In 1914, Duesseldort a the target of the first Brills air raid on Germany in Worl War T.

In 192i, Gene Tnnney won th' world's heavyweight boxln championship from Jack Dem psey in a bout in Philadelphia In 1950, the U.S. Congress errode a veto by President Hai ry S. Truman and passed th Internal Security Act, whlc required Communists to regis ter. Join the Pizza for Lunch Bunch. Monday thru Friday HtOO a.m.-2:00p.m.

Your choice of ony single topping small pizza only $1.25. Small supreme pizza only $1.50. PIZZA wr CHILLICOTHE PIZZA HUT South Town Shopping Center How much will the FINANCING cost? The price of the car Is part of it the financing charge is the rest of it. See us soon and see how you can save with LOW- COST BANK FINANCING. DRIVE-IN BANK OPEN MONDAY THRU SATURDAY UNTIL 3 P.M.

AND FRIDAY FROM 7 P.M. to 8 P.M. MAIN BANK OPEN FRIDAY UNTIL 5 P.M. UNTIL NOON ON SATURDAY Member Federal Deposit Corp. The Foundation set aside $100 million (or the support of private liberal arts colleges.

ytars ago: President Lyndon B. Johnson signed a bill to boost the minimum wage to $1 flO an hour. ago; The U.S. Defense Department said there was evidence that the Soviet Union might be establishing a permanent submarine base In Cuba. REEDER RITES HELD TUESDAY AFTERNOON Funeral services for Isaac Fou tie Reeder, 97.

father of Mrs. Kula I'eterlo of this city were held at 1:30 o'clock Tuesday afternoon at the Slater Funeral Home in Trenton The Rev. Sammy Valentine, Powersviilc, conducted the service. Mrs, Mabel Acikius sang, "Peace in the Valley" and "I Need No Mansion Here." Mrs. Homer Hertzog, organist, played the accompaniment.

Pallbearers Gerald (Buddy) Reeder, Ronnie Smith, Allan Peterie, David Peterie, Rex Reeder and Gary a Reeder. Burial was in the family lot at the Henry cemetery, south of Roger. Mr. Reeder was born May 6, 1874 at Buckhannon, a the son of Francis and Phoebe (Outright) Recder. He resided in Sullivan County and moved to Grundy County at the age of 17.

Mr, Reeder, a farmer, was a member of the Reger Christian Church. On April 6, 1896. he married AHce White at Reger. Mrs. SCHOOLS DRIVE CAREFULLY Reeder died In 1924.

lit addition ID Airs. Potorle, he Is survived by three sons, Oral Rccdcr, Trenton; Francis Heeder, Unionville and Burl Reeder. Gall and several great- grandchildren. Ho was preceded In death by two sons. BANANA CROP IS HIT BY HURRICANE IRENE SAN JOSE, Costa Rica W) --Hurricane Irene caused more than $1 million damage to Costa Rica's banana crop.

The loss will seriously curtain exports to North American markets, a spokesman for the industry said Wednesday. The storm passed along the nation's northern Atlantic coast Sunday and Monday. Law students are advised to spend a summer as an apprentice before graduating at the University of Missouri-Columbia Meeting on Knits Attended By 43 Women I.lvhiKitnti County women showed onttornonti In receiving Infni'inatlon "Understanding Knits In Tho 70V" Del.ols On swell. extension area home economist, presented a wealth of sowing with- knits guidance to 43 women at the Fanner's Klectrlc building on September 22 The Extension llomemtikri's Association this educational event. To this group, such Information as selection, euro and uso of knits, was stressed.

How knlts-are-made was illustrated hy picture lo nil. The ribs In plain knits rubbing lengthwise is considered the lengthwise Km in of the knit fabric. Basic knilllnt! me I hods was Illustrated to the Kt'oup lo enable their wise selection of knits. The following series of literature is av ailablc at the local extension center upon request from Kny Wade, area homo economist: 913 Fabrics for you--Knits; 912 Cotton; 910 Wool; 905 Durable Press; 899 Discovering Fabric Properties; 898 Man Mnde Fibers; 880 Bonded Fabrics A FOUNDER OF SDS A TEACHER AT COLLEGE LOS ANGELES Wl Hayden, a founder of Students for a Democratic Society, is teaching a political science ConitlrutlM-Trlbuiu, Chlllkotha, Thuridoy, Sapt. 23, 19 coin-so at a Roman Catholic women's college.

About 2A student! were at Hayden's first clafil Tuesday. The l.Vweek course will deal with Vietnam and the protest movement, said a spokesman for 500 student Immaculate Heart College. Haden, 31, is free or bail while appealing conviction in Chicago of crossing state lines to incite rioting at the ttmo of tho 1968 Democratic National Convention. pUHN ELIZABETH TO VISIT THAILAND BANGKOK. Thailand -Queen Rllrabeth of Britain and her husband Prince Philip will pay a week-long stale visit to Thailand next Feburitry.

the Foreign Office announced today. MART CUT MTf OJNTO Going to College This Fall? Let the knew about It, that your name may be Included In stories. Simply fill out the form and bring or mail It to "College List," Namo Parents Address College or University Where Located Year in School Major Subjects Studied Date of Departure Extra Curricular Activities Previous Col lege, If other than above 'You'll Have A Reserved Seat On The 50 yd. With 1972 Plus All Your Favorite Programs In Living Color Get color viewing that takes a turn for the better! KESWICK, Model dl.tonil pletun Solid State on swivel pedestal base Get this triple treatl RCA AccuColor 9 quality. Spanish style cabinetry.

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