Tipton County Tribune from Tipton, Indiana • 4

PAGE 4 The TiptonCounty Tribune Tuesday, December 1, 2020 Lifestyles dear abby By DOUGHERON Feature Writer There is an older lady that we take thanksgiving dinner to every year. We go to a local restaurant that offers a free thanksgiving dinner. This year, like so many businesses, they were closed. So was every other restaurant in the town that serves that kind of food. We called around and found the Cracker Barrel restaurant open in another town that was about 40 minutes away.

When we got there, at the corner of the block, traffic was backed up. So, I pulled into the gas station on the corner and decided to walk the rest of the way. Where we parked, there was a homeless guy standing there. He was wearing coveralls and had a grocery cart filled with probably everything he owned. I spoke to him and he smiled and told me to have a nice day.

He wasn't begging for money or anything. And we walked on over to the restaurant. I realized that the traffic jam was all people trying to get into the place. We got in line and I placed our order for the lady's Thanksgiving dinner. The hostess asked my name and told me it would be around an hour and a half wait.

I'm not patient enough for that so Angie called around and IHOPwas open. They had a turkey dinner special and no wait. So we left. The homeless guy was still there and still smiling. I asked him if he knew where the IHOPwas and he gave me directions.

He was a homeless guy standing at a gas station with all his belongings in a grocery cart. And yet, he was smiling and happy. I asked him what he was doing for thanksgiving din- ner. He replied, "This is pretty much it. I'm just thankful to be able to breathe the fresh air." So I asked him if he liked Cracker Barrel.

He said sure, but couldn't afford it. Then I gave him my ticket and the cash to pay for it. He said, "Are you serious?" I told him it would be a little wait and just go in and ask for his to go order. Tell them your name is Doug. I've never seen a guy seem as excited as he told me thank you about a dozen times.

I also asked him if he needed anything else. He said, "No, I'm good. God bless you and you have a happy Thanksgiving." When we pulled in to the parking lot next to him, I assumed he was miserable. He was not. He just chose a different lifestyle than we did.

I placed my wants onto him and judged him based on that. Talking to my brother later that evening, the subject of my Grandpa's funeral came up. I said how much I didn't like it because everybody was talking about how he was the first farmer in the county with rubber tires on his tractor and the first one with a 4-bottom plow, etc. I thought that was sad. All the people talked about was "stuff," which means very little to me.

I thought people should be talking about what a great guy he was and that they would miss him. Then, Russ said, "That's what was important to Grandpa. He wanted to be remembered as an innovator." And he's right. That changed the way I look at that day. Grandpa got what he wanted, what was important to him.

Once again, I judged somebody else based on what I wanted. If you get what you want out of life, or even just out of the moment, that's all you can ask for. It doesn't matter what other people think you should want. If you did the best you can and accomplish what you want, that makes you a success. That line of thought goes both ways.

If you want something else for them, who cares? It's not your life and you have no right to judge them based on your standards. I learned a lesson from a homeless guy, my little brother and my grandpa. And little girl in a car seat summed it all up. There is a video I have seen online quite a few times. It's a little girl, sitting in her car seat trying to get it buckled on her own.

The dad asked, "Can I help?" The little girl replied, "No thank you! Worry bout yourself!" It took her a little bit, but she got it done. That's what she wanted. Maybe she has some words of wisdom for all of us. Quit judging others based on what you think they should want Worry bout yourself. If you've enjoyed this article and want to reach out to me, email me at Random thought judge somebody life based on what you DEAR ABBY: I am a nurse in New York City.

My boyfriend lives in Philadelphia. During the height of the pandemic, we didn't see each other because I worked on a COVID unit and contracted the virus. His sister became very controlling and kept urging him not to see me, which brought me great pain. I was extremely lonely, and for months, the only people I saw were my co-workers. At the end of May, my boyfriend and I began seeing each other regularly.

Because he sees me, his sister refuses to see him, which makes me very sad. His mother died two years ago. When his family tries to plan things, his sister either comes late or doesn't show up. If I'm invited, she says she doesn't want to be in the same room as me. I spend a lot of time with my boyfriend and his older father, who he now lives with.

His father has never expressed that he feels uncomfortable around me. I feel like we have to plan things around this sister. I want my boyfriend to spend time with his family, but she's extremely controlling when everyone else in the family seems excited to see me. What do I do? UNCOMFORTABLE SITUATION DEAR UNCOMFORT- ABLE: I am assuming that if you are again working that you are tested regularly for COVID and therefore in no danger of giving the virus to anyone. Because there has been so much misinformation spread during the pandemic, many people are being extremely cautious and rightfully so.

If you had a good relationship with your boyfriend's sister before the pandemic began, recognize that she acts the way she does because she's afraid for her life, so stop personalizing it and judging her for it. She has a right to protect herself, even if it seems irrational to you. DEAR ABBY: As a grandparent, I feel the Christmas gift my husband and I received last year from our granddaughter was a gift of a lifetime. We have enjoyed it all year. It was a gift of memories, written on 12 cards to be opened on the first day of each month.

She had inserted each card into an individual envelope, designated with which month it was to be opened. She put them in a box wrapped with a bow and placed it under the tree. The excitement generated while anxiously awaiting a new month's arrival so the new memory could be read created enthusiasm among the entire family. In each envelope were experiences we had forgotten or never realized had made an impact on her life. Agift like this requires only time and 12 pieces of paper.

The concept could even be reversed so it would be from grandparent to grandchild. Few of us grandparents need material gifts, but the caring, thought and love shown by this gift will remain with us all our lives. WANTED TO SHARE, FRESNO, CALIF. DEAR WANTED TO SHARE: What a precious gift. I have long advocated that the most meaningful gift we can give each other is the gift of self, in the form of time, attention, a handwritten letter or a phone call.

Your granddaughter's concept of a "Memory of the Month Club" was ingenious. I congratulate her for it, and I hope it inspires others. Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA90069.

KOKOMO (AP) Howard County Superior Court II Judge Brant Parry stood in his courtroom last week and looked around like he had lost something. want to see he asked, still looking around the mostly empty room. Afew moments later, a brown fluff of fur came bounding through an open back door, prompting instant smiles on all the faces sitting nearby. Her Kadence, and an 11-month-old chocolate Labradoodle. But no ordinary dog, Parry is quick to point out.

Purchased through a grant from the state of Indiana, Kadence KD for short is the new therapy dog for Howard problem solving courts like Veterans Court and Mental Health Court. She also helps the probation department and juvenile programs too. Adog of many hats, Parry noted. seen for a long time how you have individual service dogs that you use with people or just general therapy dogs that are in Parry said while sitting in his office before a recent gathering of Veterans Court. I started mulling that in my head, and I thought be a good idea.

Between Veterans Court and Mental Health Court, we have a lot of people that suffer from anxiety, PTSD, those types of things. when they have to come into court or meet with their probation officer on a regular basis, it causes them great stress and he continued. So we decided to apply for a grant and purchase a dog that could be trained, not for one individual purpose but for an entire group of So last February, Parry and a few others enlisted the help of Darren Petty, owner and operator of Indianapolis-based Indiana Working Dogs. Petty even drove to Sheridan to handpick Kadence from the rest of her litter when she was just 8-weeks-old. of the things when picking out something for a project like this is that trying to minimize the chance that the dog work Petty said during a telephone interview with the Tribune.

every dog can be a therapy dog. Not every dog can be a service dog. So one of the things I looked at was her puppy temperament testing results. And she did very well. got a great Petty has seen that personality many times over the past few months too, as been the primary trainer.

Kadence even spent three consecutive weeks recently with Petty at his facility down in Indianapolis, learning advanced obedience skills that will prepare her for upcoming therapy dog certification testing. has stopped it (the therapy dog certification testing), and waiting for that to open back Petty said. right now, just really important that she gets lots of practice just getting comfortable in the courtroom and with people being around And Kadence who stays with family genuinely loves being around people too. take her to work every Parry said. And when I get ready to leave in the morning, she knows going to work.

She loves it. I let her out and put her leash on, and she sits by the door ready to Parry added that the people at the courthouse specifically those in his problem-solving courts are just as fond of Kadence. think the benefits of having her here are he said. idea is to just kind of take the anxiety levels down a couple notches that they would normally feel when they have to come to the courthouse and meet with a probation officer or come to court and meet with a judge. I think coming here and having the friend who ask for anything from them and just wants to say hello to them and is just excited to see them is great.

you can have that, I have to go to the courthouse because I have to see my probation officer and check in, but KD is going to be there while talking to my case makes it Parry added. think having someone that want anything from you other than to just be your friend and show love is important, whether a human or best Veterans Court Coordinator Richard Cotterell agreed with Parry, noting that even the name was carefully picked out for her overall duty. has to do with he said. a military term as well, and we put it out there on social media for some folks to come up with a name for her. Someone submitted Kadence, with a K.

And just like cadence has to do with rhythm, our veterans are out of rhythm right now because of some of the issues facing. And Kadence is part of trying to help them get back into that rhythm. part of that Labradoodle helps vets going through Indiana court program a collection curated by The Associated entertainment journalists of arriving on TV, streaming services and music platforms this week. MOVIES Film history fans will get a meal out of David about screenwriter Herman J. Mankiewicz who is masterfully played by Gary Oldman.

Shot in gorgeous black and white, transports you into the depression era studio system, Upton bid for governor, William Randolph Hearst and Marion elegant parties and to that bungalow in Victorville where the first draft of the classic Orson Welles film was composed. Available on Netflix on Friday, is one of the very best films and both a tribute to and searing critique of golden age. Amanda Seyfried, as Davies, is one of the great performances of the year. Another film full of excel- lent performances is of starring Riz Ahmed as a punk metal drummer who experiences sudden severe hearing loss. The film, which is captioned in English, dives into the world of the deaf community with Ruben (Ahmed) in a way never seen or heard before.

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MUSIC Ahouse is not a home during the holiday season if Mariah I Want for Christmas Is is not blasting daily! During a normal, non-pandemic year, Carey and her Christmas craziness would be on a holiday tour, bringing joy to fans and lambs in-person. Because live shows really a thing in 2020, launching a holiday TV special on Apple on Friday. Magical Christmas will includes a mix of musical performances and dancing with amination. Ariana Grande, Jennifer New this week: Selena series, 'Shameless' and Shawn Mendes See New, page 5.