Boston Post from Boston, Massachusetts • Page 21

BOSTON SUNDAY POST, APRIL 2, 1916 ADVERTISE IN THE BUGLB Hava you got ennythink to or swap? Do you want to buy onnythink? THENTRYAADWITH US Biggest only newspaper in this end of the Co. AdTartUing rates furnished with great cheer. Sirculashion books open to nobuddy. YOULL HAFT TO TAKE OUR WORD FOR IT INERCIA FAXUM PARIT BY NEWTON NEWKIRK Copyrighted. 1916 by E.

A. Groaier BE A TITEWAD! Pay up your back subscription to the Bugle thus fill a long-felt want on our part. WE RUN A FIRST CLASS NEWSPAPER ON HOT AIR COLD POTATOZE. P. we are not in leave the money with our urife next door.

THE BIHGVILLE BEG LTL The Leading Paper of the County Bright, Breesy, Bellicose, Bustling Bow doth tbo trasy llttlo RhtnIjftprore each Bhtning (atherlDK 1 7 all the day From oponing floar. Tbe cbMpeet adrertlalng medlnm In the county. If you bollcYo In adYertlalng. conoo and aoo as. For farther csll on or address be editor.

A L.AJT.WK:. AlADC AtTCM A TMAT A.Afow£J) HfAl AlOT THe Dt) wr. 3 ata To OAi -OX5MAOV oyse JX PMAJCtLEO A UNEXPFXKTED HOKNER 'l'other afterno(3n about 2 p. M. a committee of representative citizens of Bingville consisting of Cy I loskins, one of the most weathiest most inflooenshialist cittizens of the town, Deacon Bntterworth.

who is full of pnblick spirrit bitterly opi)oseci to spirrits of a intoxicating nachnre) Ame Hillyer, loryer, leggal lite, notary pub- lick J. of the cald on us in a body urged us to run for town treashurer at the coming eleck- shion. They informed us that flink Barclay who is the present town treashurer and has a nounced that he is agoing to run for re-eleck- shion aint satisfactory to voters of Bingville, being as when Hink was eleckted to ofliis there was a halants of $1, 94 cts, also some postage stamps in the town treashury all of whitch pnblick funds was turned over to Hink, whereas now their aint only $6.82 cts no stamps in the treashury at the close of the current fiskal yr that Hank cant explain what has became of the betwixt $11.94 and $6.82 (whatever that is) to say nothink of where the stamps has went to. It is the general heleef that Plink has approperated the town funds for his own personal use being as he has alius seemd to have money in his pocketbook ever sinst he tuk off is. Not only that but only 2 wks ago his wife apeard in church with a new hat on! Where, we ask, did the money come from to purchase sitch luxshuries? Of course we aint saying right out that Hink is guilty of nothing, but it looks snspishus.

Eph Higgins our accommodating P. says Hink aint bought a stamp offen him for goodness knows when and sinst the stamps whitch was handed over to Hink when he stept into offis has vanisht, you can put two two together and draw your own conclooshions. The committee whitch waited on said that they had been around town sounding publick sentiment and asshured us that if we would become a candydate for town treahurer we would receive the committee for this uuexpeckted honner whitch was thrust upon us by our feller cittizens who has sitch awful faith in our capahilitty in-i tegritty and ashured them that we would think the matter over give our anser in this ishue of the Bugle. After matoor deliherasliion we have dcsided that all things considered we had better refuse this honner. If we would run we have no doiiht vve would he eleckted and if eleckted we would endeavor to perform the duties of this high ofifis to the best of our several ability, hut we fear them funds entrusted to our care would alius he a thorn ill our flesh and scorch holes in our pockets.

jest as like as not during some turrilile attackt of financial strin- gencv to whitch we he suhjeckt now and then when we have obll- gashions to meet and know where in Sam Hill our next doller is comill from to meet say that in sitch circumstances as them the lemptashiou would be too mutch for would probly dip into the town funds to tide us over the emergency expecktin of course he reimburst the town funds later later find ourself unable to so. Then there would he a skandal we would be disgrased. Not only that, but we have our hands purty full as it is dont feel that we have the time to devote to being town treashurer. As editor and prop of the Bugle, also foreman, tipesetter, mailer, jerker of the Washington hand press one day per wk, offis boy, fire-bilder, wood-lugger, sweeper-out, paste- maker, adv. news-colleckter everything else conneckted with the publicashion of a live, uptodate wkly newspaper, we aint got mutch time to fritter away as a publick offis holder.

We wish it distincktly understood, that we appreshiate this turrible high honner whitch has been thrust upon us. FITE! Eb Hoover Mel Watkins Indulge in a DisgrasetttI Scene Is a Nise Example tor 2 Old Men to Set to tbe Rising Gen- erasbions Aint It AS A "FOUD AJG Lokal Jottings Snide Petersby has sitch a had cold in his head he says his brains feels numb. To tell the truth Snides brains is purty numb when he aint got no cold in his head. Miss Sofia Hillyer, from Hardscrabble is a visiting her brother and his wife, our talented loryer. Sofia has been here a wk now and Mrs.

Hillyer says that if she remains mutch longer she will wear out her welcome. There aint only 1 st light in Bingville whitch if owned privateiy by Hen Weathcrsby and stands in front of his store and even it aint been lit all winter. Hen says the kerosene in his barl is gittin and he has to econnymize being if he used it all up hed only hafi to go the bother expense of ordering new barl. Ras Slocomh is on the sicklist. as we go ta press we learn that we have did Ras a injustice by saying he was on the sicklist It was Jim" Slocomh.

VVc are alius glad support of the voters of Bingville to correckt a error with great cheer, regardless of party, relijion, or The main st through Bingville is tur- rihle muddy at the present writing and Hen Weathersby prop of our general store has showd his ushual enterprise hy layin down a iong plank acrost the road in front of his store that his custummers from tother side of the st can cross over hack without wad- in in the mud haff way to their knees. Well last Friday about 10 in I the morning Ebenezer Hoover who was HI yrs old his last birthday and purty spry for his age started to walk acrost the plank from tlie store to tother side of the st at the same time that Melch- isadek Watkins who is going on 79 yrs started to cross the plank tords the store. There has been had blud betwixt Eh and Mel ever sinst last summer when sheepdog lickt the packin outen Fibs bull pup and as a result they aint spoke to each other sinst. Well, when Mel and Eb, met out in the middle of that narrer plank with no room to pass and the mud hub deep on both sides of em, they stopt and glared at each other like a cupple of old tomcats on a fence. git outen my says Mel.

wont says Eb. got as mutch right on this plank as you says Mel. you aint got no moren says Eb. fer- git that my dog lickt your says Mel. aint no sign you kin lick says Eb.

By this time they was both mad as a cupple of wet hens and was ashakin their fists under each others noses and wavin their arms and screechin at each other loud enuff to be heerd all over town. Mel begged Eb to hit him 1st, and Eb done the same to Mel. Finally Eb pranced a leetle mite too dost to the edge of the plank and his foot slipt off. Then he grabd Mel to keep from fallin and both fell kerslap into the mud where they wallerd and scratchd at each other until both was covcrd with mud from head to foot indooding their hair and whiskers. In the scrimmage they lost their hats and tramped em outen sight into the muck.

Seth Dewberry our lion harted town constuhble who was in Hens store when the fite started rusht out after they had fell into the mud. Seth stood on the plank and told em if they diddent stop fitin he would arest em both for disturbin the peace, incloodin a salt battery conduck unbecoming a gentleman. Seth would of sepperated em he diddent like to git out into the mud. After Eb and Mel was both outen breth they let go of etch other and retired to the sidewalk in different direckshions. Then they dispersd to their various two homes.

Two old men who are in the sundown of their lifes, as we might say, ort to be to waller in the and disgrase theirselfs in this manner. But instid of being ashamed each one seems to be proud of what they have did and ever sinst it happend each oiie has been going around town braggin about how he lickt tother one. most human intelligents thort he would pHy a trick on his mother tother day, so Bud he greesed the hack steps with sope. Then he got behint the rain barl and waited. Soon Buds mother, the Widder Hinckley, stept outen the door to empty a pan of dish worter.

Well soon as she set foot down on that sopc up went her -heels and she fell with a dull sikkening thud bruising herself considerable on the back piazza. When she fell Missus Hinckley throwd about two or three gals of greesy dish worter right into her own fa se by axi- dent. Then Bud instid of remaining quiet behint the barl jumpt out and danced hollerd like a fool. Soon as Mrs. Hinckley could git up and ketch holt of her non comptis mentus son she retired with him into the wood shed and from the way Bud l)ellerd we persooin she administcrd to him whot was praps one of the worst lickin he ever got.

Charity ort to begin at home, hut jokes ort not to. and bedclothes sos he couldnt holler for help. Sime says he thort to goodness Ins last hour had came and that he would slowly smother to deth. He prayd and cussed by spells and finally managed to kick the bottom outen the hed and ex- caped with his life. Sime says he will sell this folding bed for jest what he paid for it being as he dont carc whether he makes enny profits outen it or not.

Wes Woodruff our expert hunter trapper says he has haff a noshion to purchase this foldin bed and use if for a bear trap. 'If i Country Correspondenco SNAKE BEND Ah Woods old red cow persented Ah with a set of two twin calfs last wk. Mother and twins doing well at this writing. It aint very offen that a cow gives birth to a cupple of calfs Ah ort to feel highly honnerd. Miss Jerushy Perkins apeard at church last Sunday in a short skirt whitch she says is the late.st style.

The wimmeu folks was skandalized and said Jerushy looked ridicklus in it. Luke Packard son of Widder Packard druv to Hardscrabble last wk and got a shave and a haircut. It made sitch a change in- his personal appearance that when he arrove home his mother diddent know him and sicked the dog on him. The' dog was fooled too and diddent realise who Luke was until it had bit him on tlu leg. Gale Hooker of Calamitty Corners was in our midst yesterday trying to borrow money to pay the intrust on his morgage hut couldnt raise it.

the securitty Luke could give was his word whitch aint none bettern none at all. Miss Phronicia Hunt the hell of the Bend purchased a can of talkum powder while at the co seat tother day and Miss Phronicias nose aint never shiny enny more like it used to be. On the contrary her nose looks like as if she had stuck it into a flour barl. There is sitch a thing as overdoing things, Phronicia. The hens hereabouts has begin to lay very noomerus.

As a result eggs is al- mo.st a drug on the market and aint skeercely worth collecktin from the nests. Arioch Johnson was to the co seat last wk on bizness pleashure. He had 11 teeth out and soon as his gums shrink will have a new upper set put in. Ham Wilson opend up his sugar camp too soon being as its so cold the sap freezes as soon as it drips. SCRIBBLER.

Awful Surprise for Us Heck Piper paid the Bugle offis a pleasant call tother day, also a dollcr on his back suhscripshion which lioosts Hecks Bugle up to Jan. 1, 1891. It Vv'as a turrible surprise to us have Heck into our offis and plank down a dollar on suhscripshion of his own free will, being as Heclc is as tite as the bark to a tree and harder to git money out of than turnip is to git bliul out of. Heretofore we alius regarded Heck as dead heat hut sinst the above we have changed our mind a dollers worth ennyhow and w'C trust Heck wil to repeat the operashion until he is paid up to date. Let others who is behint on their subscripshions from 5 to 15 yrs protit by Hecks example, and do likewise.

O. Personal Scuiblets former concUshion of servytood. We thankt the members of the These is all the personal jotings we have room for in this ishue. Them as is left over we will print next wls. Look out for same.

Bud Made a Mistake Bud Hinckley who aint quite right in his head most of the time and yet on some occashions seems to show al- Sime Himes Trapd Last wk Sime Himes purchased at a publick oxshion over to Hardscrabble a new fangeld contrapshion whitch is cald a whitch folds up when not in use. When Sime got home he thort he would like to try the thing so his wile made, it up for him and Sime went to bed in it. Sime said it worked jest as good as enny other kind of bed until along about midnight when he went to shift hisself and turn ovc' blamed if the bed diddent close shut with a snap and Sime in it standin on Ad with his mouth full of pillers How do you like the word for a change? Hank Dewberry he is suffering from the spring fever. Well, thats ort to be glad it aint small pox or tifoid fever. Miss Phronicia Watkins has pneural- gia in her fase and as a result one side of her fase is so sweld up that she looks ridicklus.

Phronicia is keep- in purty dost to home and probly wont 1)0 saw mutch in Bingville sossiety until the swelling goes down. Ezra Johnson made the statement down to Hen Weathersbys store tother evg that he could lift hisself in a tub Iz Walker askt him if he had ever did so and Ezra said no he haddent be- cuz every time he had tried it either the handles of tub had give way or he had busted the bottom of the tub out with his feet jest before he could lift hisself offen the ground. Of course we may be mistook about it hut in our opinyun its a fizzikal impos- sihilitty for a person to lift hisself in a tub. Mel Winslows boot has been hurtin his foot for a wk or so and Mel dent know why it was until he happend to find a stone inside his boot haff as big as a hens egg. How the stone got there is a mystery to Mel.

Eph Higgins our accommodating P. m. says the sale of postage stamps at the Bingville P. O. has been awful light during the past wk, Eph cant understand this.

He says if he had of raised the price of two cents stamps to 3 or 4 cts he could acct for it. Hen Weathersby of our general store says hes all outen smoked salt herrings and is glad of it his salt herring patrons litterd up the store every evg with the remains of herrings and crackers on the floor to say nothink of -keepin him bizzy keepin the water pail filled up being as the herrings was so salt. Hen says he dont know when hell have enny more herrings in, praps never. Witherow has a porus plaster on his for plumbago whitch lie pul on early last fall. says the plumbiigo has gone but the plaster i.s stickin titern glue and he persooms hell haft to jest nacherly let it wear offeu hisself..