Newsday (Nassau Edition) from Hempstead, New York • 118

THE MARVIN KITMAN SHOW The critic who would swallow anything Another end of an occurred last month. Bob Lape had the as an anchorman, Storm era in broadcast journalism er's tape editor, he was the Eyewitness Gourmet. Nobody did more for Brioschi sales. Since 1970, Lape had covered murders as a general assignment reporter. and moules a la mariniere as the gourmet on Ch.

7 news. Then suddenly, one night in October, Lape was gone. He was dropped as quietly as a souffle falling at one of his Executive Producer choice restaurants. most wanted job in TV. Not Field's ballboy, or Warn- Why did Lape leave Ch.

I know he didn't run out of recipes. The recipe thing has been pretty popular the last 12 years. Let me give you an idea how popular. When Ch. 7 fired Jim Bouton, back in the days before he went to Ch.

2, at a time when he was riding the crest of popularity as the author of "Ball Four," the station got 27 letters. That same week, 1,000 people wrote in requesting a recipe for cheesecake offered by Lape in his Eyewitness Gourmet spot. Why? It was good cheesecake, I guess. I could be way off, but I think Bob Lape set the record for receiving more mail than any TV journalist in the history of TV news shows. More than a million pieces of mail in the first eight years of the recipe offer.

I seem to have accidentally eaten the latest complete figures. But it's safe to say Lape got more mail for his gourmet spots than Tolstoy for his "War and Peace." Junior's Cheesecake recipe is an important issue today, not Westway, or heatless apartments. Since 1970, Lape has eaten in more than 1,000 restaurants and other establishments on television. That's a lot of pickled herring down the gullet. Or, as you dentists say, "We'll cross that bridge when we get to it." He also holds the record for consuming the most mouthfuls of food by a TV journalist without swallowing and the record for the most years gone without ever having a bad meal, or a bad dish (12).

Lape never had a bad dining-out experience in his career as a gourmet. Food critics are associated with certain phrases. Lape's contributions to the vocabulary were, and "Ummmmmmh, nice." They will live in the annals along with "Pass the salt" (Brillat-Savarin) and "Merci" (Miriam Ungerer). Executive Producer Over the years, Lape was bitterly attacked for his reviews. TV newsmen have always claimed they are newsmen, not actors.

But they all have acts. One shouts, one whispers, another is deadpan, another joyous, one is sincere, another is a wise guy, one whines, another kvetches. And sometimes they've got a line as well. the way it "Thanking you for your time this time until next. As John Horn, the legendary New York Herald Tribune TV critic now living in Stony Brook, noted, "All poor Bob Lape had was one lone grunt, Just "Mmmmmmmm" as he put some hot food into his mouth, burning his tongue.

Maybe the chef overcooked the trifle. Maybe Bob didn't like the tripe a la marinara. The guy deserved a medal. We toasted him with our bottles of Maalox. Lape was not a classical restaurant reviewer.

He lacked the bite of a Barbara Rader or the classical background of a Mimi Sheraton. He didn't recommend restaurants, he recommended dishes. This was an age of specialization. Like a wine critic sticking to red or white or pinks. If you go to a place with a couple of hungry friends, there is bound to be one dish they'll like.

It's not that hard. The restaurant could have been filthy, a health hazard, no service, but if there was one dish Lape liked he would call in the crew and camera. The dish also had to be easy to prepare, preferably at home. That was the criterion. The place also had to have a chef-owner.

It always seemed to be a dish starting with the addition of little onions. Even if it was strawberry flambe, Polish style, made by the chef's Polish mother-in-law, the recipe would start with little onions. That's a generalization of course; sometimes it ended with little onions. Another criterion: It had to be something about which Lape could say "ummmmmmh, good." It wasn't that hard. The man never had a bad word to say about anything.

You think it's easy reviewing restaurant dishes on TV? The chef is standing over you with a pot of hot oil. I'd like to see somebody try to say, "Yecch, you call this swill food?" Other reviewers go home and write their churlish remarks in anonymity. Lape had to make snap decisions, right at the restaurant, up front, on the cutting board, so to speak. It's easy, as many have done, to call Bob Lape the least discriminating gourmet in history; the man who liked 1,000 out of 1,000 dishes, all ummmmmm, good or nice. But I'm in awe of the man.

It's amazing that in those 12 years he didn't get gout and liver trouble, that he lived to tell the tale. I once went to one of his restaurants. It was in the back of a hotel, a Chinese place, named something like "I Ching Laundry." Impressive. On the wall was a sign reading, "This restaurant has been approved by Robert Lape, gourmet at Ch. 7." The total dinner came to $11, including wine for $2.50.

That should have told us something. I began to swell up after the meal. Of course, the little guys had laced the stuff with MSG. Poor guys didn't know how much to use. No wonder Lape said, "Umm, mmmh good, you'll like it." But I never held that against Bob Lape.

He was not a food critic, but a front man for whatever restaurant he was reviewing. "Lape is to food critics what pro wrestling is to the Olympic sport," as the noted gourmet Ed J. Marintsch of Nesconset put it. That was the job, that was the way Eyewitness News management perceived what the public wanted. It was as much a statement about the public appetite as it was about journalism.

What kept me going over the years was the possibility that Ed Marintsch's dream would come true. I fantasize that Lape is at the infamous, I mean not-famous L'Eau du Fromage with Chef Hercules, formerly of the Blue Family. The chef has prepared his pate maison. Lape says, "Looks good, mmmmmmh. Let's have a taste.

mmmmmmh, that's. He chews, pats his mouth with the bib around his neck, excuses himself, calmly turns his head, and spits the food on the floor while emitting a gruesome sound of disgust. But it didn't happen. He was ummmmm-gooding it to the end. Lape left the station Oct.

15, citing the usual better opportunities, tripe a la contract negotiations. Irreconcilable differences included. They wouldn't let him do commercials like they do at the other station, and so he couldn't keep himself in moulee a la mariniere in his old age. They also really didn't know who Bob Lape the Eyewitness Gourmet was. The new guys running the Ch.

7 news department are from Cleveland and Chicago. They don't know what a big fresser Bob Lape was in New York. They brushed him off the table like some crumb. What's a million letters to a local TV station today-chopped liver? It's a shame. Who'll take up the tasting cudgels? Sara Lee Kessler of Ch.

9 is doing something like it on WOR-TV's new expanded midday news. "She is some dish," according to Prof. James Mattimore of the English Department at Suffolk Community College. But she needs more time in the oven. Bob Lape won't starve.

He is pursuing other careers in cable, commercials and publishing. But he will be missed by us TV gourmets, or gourmands. I wanted to put a smoked trout into this belated farewell to Bob Lape essay. It wouldn't fit. So I ate it.

Ummmmmh, good. 'AVaNNS TV SWITCHES RADIO BEST 2:00 1:00 PM Guest WNYG: -WKCR: Capt. Cowboy Crossroads Andy Joe's on Jackson. Long Radio Island. Ranch.

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