Evening Standard from London, Greater London, England • A31

PlayS ta tion EX CL USI VE Thursd 5 No 2015 31 Feature tote bag, so it makes sense that your ethics extend to your pants. Sadly Who Made your which worked with refugee women, is no longer in business but Pants to Poverty is from cotton to and works to change the world for the better through projects in the developing world for full knickerbocker glory. I-hate-my-body pants A feat of engineering, designed to mould you into the unrealistic shape that the high street requires women to be to squeeze into most eveningwear see Bridget Jones, which is making a welcome return soon. If you must subject yourself to elastic oppression, try to invest in good quality shaping knickers so that the seams leave red marks on your body or cause the flesh to bunch up around the edges of the pants. As a general rule knickers should not come with instructions or are bigger than your head.

The thong goodbye Go back to the Nineties and take your bisected buttocks with you, to the soundtrack of Thong Song by Sisqo. Event pants A risky option that is prone to becoming a triumph of hope over experience. You save them for date night, only to be dumped, leaving you back home changing into your pyjamas and throwing them under the bed a cruel reminder of what might have been. That said, better to be optimistic than caught out in man-repelling bloomers that may also ruin your chances. toned legs, especially when in the country it is just easier, not to mention less work for your washing girl.

If you are cold you will just don a fur. Rumour has it that Sarah Ferguson bought Prince Andrew a pair of Y-fronts early in their relationship and he know what they were. one reason why posh people are forever being mistaken for radical feminists. Germaine natural pose is legs apart, womanspreading, in a skirt, giving people a full facial. See also exercise evangelist yoga and cycling are better when you have to worry about getting your knickers in a twist.

Pant pants Your to-do list is too overloaded for you to waste time fretting about lacy undergarments. What use are statement pants when you spend your days fully clothed, in warm, practical Boden? Pants should be a support act, making your clothes look good. You completely dull Marks Spencer does a good line in sexy on the back, sensible on the front black pants, Cheek Frills never give even the most ravenous of bums a wedgie or VPL, while Nubian Skin comes in a range of shades beyond the usual washed out peach. Occasionally you foray into the day- of-the-week set you were bought as a fun present, but totes ironic and you are prepared to defend yourself from accusations of being a 14-year-old girl or not having an iCal. Political pants You have the vegan shoes, you shop organic and have a scones not you feel precious about.

Smart ypants brand THINX has brought us period-proof pants that eliminate the need for tampons or sanitary towels. They are better for the environment less landfill waste from dispsoable products and mean you can stick it to the man by not paying tampon tax. They give you a do-gooding halo (unfortunately this cure period pain) because for every pair sold they donate money to girls in Uganda for reusable sanitary protection. Fancy pants Delete as applicable: lovely, mood- boosting confections that go with your Rigby Peller bra or an unsustainable habit requiring lots of time and disposable income for dry cleaning pants should not be fancy. Feminist pants no point burning your bra if your knickers are still oppressing you.

Real women need appropriate gear if they are to get equality, from brands such as Kickstarter success Neon Moon, whose stock is selling like hot pants. Its adverts are unphotoshoppped and its colour options cheery and bright just like the future, where there is not a free- movement-impeding thong in sight. Accessorise with a 50:50 Parliament badge, dip-dyed armpit hair and the pubes you were given, la artist Petra Collins, who collaborates with Lonely Lingerie, for who wear lingerie as a love letter to No pants Pants are common. far nicer to feel the breeze between your expensively.