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f • t Gotesbura Reaister «M <ail, Galesbura, ill, Pfidav, June 1 .5, 1973 Sense of Humor Helps Country Survive Watergate By DICK KLEfNEft LOS ANGELES (NEA) p. There is increasing evidence U that America's sense of humor ft will enable us to survive the K Watergate mess, as it has en- 3] abled us .to survive past catas- M trophes —. wars, depressions Sand scandals, the Lively Arts Whenever things get tough In America, we start making jokes. It doesn't make the problem go away, but it makes it easier to live with. And that's the way things are going now, as the American sense of humor begins to exert itself. A joke going around. "Have you heard the new loyalty oath: 'Are you now or have you ever been a member of the Committee For the Reelection Of the President?'" A bumper sticker: "IMPEACHMENT WITH HONOR." MILTON BERLE'S GAG; "I overheard two men talking on the presidential yacht. One of them said, 'Please say we're going north — don't say»we're going up the river.' " At the Emmy awards, Johnny Carson said: "I haven't heard so much credit givert to others since James McCOrd." Jack Carter's gag. "I hope Nixon won't be impeached — then we'd have Sinatra for president." Jack Burns find Avery Schreiber are coming dlii With a. comedy album about Watergate, sample bit: "ANNdtflfcER: The Tonight Show, with special guest host Richard Nixon, the music of H. R. Haldemann and His Buck Passers, the singing of the Watergate Seven — has been preempted." Another joke going around: "Have you seen the new bed? It's a Watergate Bed — you can lie on It." ALSO MOM Ttffi Emmy Awards show Don Rickles, explaining how the TV acade my voted, said: "The mem* bers vote by secret ballot. In this country* you know how secret "that is." flien haveeome out With a card game, The Watergate Scandal dame. Excerpt from "Instructions On How To Play": "CMatiflg MA deception mi only add aest td this game, but It's the only sure way td eonle dUfc on top." Another Milton Berte gags "The GOP has already decided on its '76,.campaign slogan. 'Four more years — with two off for good behavior.'" Bob Hope says he's decided to go on toiir after all next CBS To Give Behind-Scene Account Of How Breaking Story Covered By RICK MJ BROW HOLLYWOOD (TjPl) — Note§ % watch televMott by* The Programs: Oft June 28, CB S-T V mil present aft hour faemmtmy described,by the network as "a behind-the- scenes account of how televt- «^ *^ Tr 9 9 *V *V *i* ^ *V *P V -X- POOLSIDE DINING *K* Relax poolilde at one of our umbrella shaded tables *X- and let Mike prepare your favorite steak or sand-X- w ich over the glow of real charcoal. Order your favorite beverage from our cocktail hostess ^ HOURS: Daily 11:30 a.m. to 2 p.m. # # # # # •X* ** •X- -X' -X-X- -X-X- •X-* -X** and 5:00 — 8:30 p.m. RESTAURANT ROUTE 150 NORTH — GALE5BUR0, ILLINOIS ^* *e^ ^* - *5* *l* siott news covered a breaking news' fetMiy— tlie demofMratlons at the im Natldnal Republican Convention" ... the title of the Television in Review hour is "Anatomy of ia News Story," and thd producer reporter - co-director of the bfoatot, <Jo$iii Sharnik, slays it is "a self-examination, which C6& Neft^ intends to do more Of in the future." Another CBS-TV June 28 doctiirftentary hour Is described by the netiWOrk as "a look at problems of Social Security and is entitled "You'll Get .Ycrttfg When You're dS** ... both tbi§ program and "Anatomy of a NeWs Story" k<s offerings, of the .long running, c "CBS Re* siefies. Stututier Program on July 8, the 12-week stttatnef video program "CBS NeWS RefcroBpective," a collection of past doeumentaries, begins With an (hour recalling the showdowns between Report- ^Cofltinentator Edward R. MurroW and Sen. Joseph R Christmas — "I'm going to do a show for the Watergate Wounded." DURING THE NEWS and Bttciimentary Emmy Award show, Walter Cronkite re» ferred td "the reliable ac» counting firm, Price Water* gate," Edward Asner greet* friends With a clenched fist find the words: "Free the" Watergate 500." . Still another gag from Mil* ton Berle: "Being a public? figure in Washington ihesd days is difficult. One week you're on the cover of Time, and the next week you're doing it." There is even a subliminal gag effect, as witness the case of Jim Nabors, who asked his maid if she had seen his Wat* ergate. He meant his Water* pik. Another gag making the rounds* "Things are so bad in Washington that Nixon is • demanding a recount." DURING THE COMMITTEE hearings, many program! were preempted, among them Mohty HalFs Let's Make * Deal. Hall says they just preempted ene version of Let's Make a Deal to televise another. Edgar Bergen's gag! "I've beeniiearing s6 many Water* gate jokes that I'm bugged." Now Playing thru Sat. Hong 'Em High CLINT EASTWOOD One Show Each Nl&hi «i 7:30 CttftftftEti itte ^ ADULTS 11.00 NOXVILLt iff/ See'CBS'- (Continued on page 15) By FRANCES DRAKE Look in the section in which your birthday comes and find what your outlook is, according o the stars. FOR SATURDAY, J UNE % \m March %l to April 20 (Aries) -£> o n't try to buck present trends or you may find yourself at unhappy variance, with associates Who could be help- ul. Scrutinize ail offerings carefully. April 21 to May 21 (Taurus) -Pilanets fairly generous, but here and there are traps to be set the off-guard individual. Be inm about going forward, but as diligent in detecting flaws. May 22 to June 21 (Gemini) —You are ndW at a point where you can assert your views and succeed at pioneering efforts. Many are receptive and gain is indicated. June 22 to July 23 (Cancer)— The Impact of your words will be notable, so choose them well. You may face some conflict between conservative and radical elements. YOU be the one to mediate. Pat Baumer is your Steak Expert in Galesburg. "I truly believe I cart serve USDA Choice steak—Just the way you like it, so that you'll come back again and again." Right now your steak expert is featuring USDA Choice New York Strip Sirloin with bread, choice of potato, and your choice of juice, soup or tossed salad. iutf $a99 Visit Pat Baumer at Mr. Steak and enjoy a great steak. After all, he is Galesburg's steak expert. July 24 to Aug. 23 (Leo)-You may now have the responsibility of handling another's financial affairs. Do so with care. Dependence upon you is great Aug. 24 to Sept. 23 (Virgo)Someone will - tihrow down the gauntlet. The challenge will stimulate you and give you a| bright idea which will Work—if you get busy at once. Sept. 24 to Oct. .23 (Libra)— Just the right day to bring off somedhing new in your occupational area. Move fast! The p.m. favors romance. Oct. 24 to Nov. 22 (Scorpio)— Look for some unusually pleasant communications from those at a distance; also new contacts Which could prove invaluable in a business way. Nov. 23 to Dec. 21 (Sagittarius)—Day could find you the recipient of some special recognition, perhaps a gift or honus of some kind. Whatever, there is definite public reaction to your efforts. Deo. 22 to Jan. 20 (Capricorn) Mixed Influences. Day calls for your stamina, stick-to-itive- ness, good will and ability to help yourself and others out of undesirable situations. Jan. 21 to Feb, 19 (Aquarius) —You may be able to put over a good deal, conclude a profitable agreement. At least, steps toward such ends can be initiated. But don't press; maneuver cautiously. Feb. 20 to March 20 (Pisces) —Launching into uncharted seas may take you further than expected, into waters too deep for comfort. Check before going beyond your depth. THE BIG., WB}J FATHER'S DAY BUFFET JUNE 17 Serving 11:00 AM r 8:00 PM ORDER FROM THE MENU Ok HAVE OUR DELICIOUS BUFFET: . ROAST BEEF —SWISS STEAK CHICKEN ~ FISH ; SALAD BAR POTATOES — VEGETABLE ICE CREAM or SHERBET. ADULTS $3.30 ••- • • 1 ••»•... Need a Gift for Father'* Day? Visit the Plaza Gift Shop — Unique Gifts For Every Occasion. DAILV NOON BUFFET THE WOODHULL PLAZA 934-2191 The Huddle Lounge PRESENTS THE RETURN ENGAGEMENT OF THE EVER POPULAR CHAPMAN CLINT EASTWOOD 'PLAY MISTY FOR ME" ...an Invitation to terror... A UNIVERSAL-UAIPASO COMPANY PICTURE * TECHNICOLOR* [J 7*30 NIGHTLY SUN. MAT. 1:30 — PLUS — One of the Country's Finest Organists For Your Dining and Dancing Pleasure. (TUESDAY THRU SUNDAY - 7 P.M. TILL.MIDNIGHT). A. 1487 N. Henderson St. BEAT THE HEAT . . . HAVE A TREAT! They had just 36 hours to shut theloveofallfetlMt. A Robert Wise Production (Two Peopled 9:15 NIGHTLY SUN. MAT. 3:15 o —sr CINEMA I & II Next to ARLANS N Henderson St GALESBURG 342-6224 A humble radiant terrific movie KNOTTY PINE TAP Wofaga, HI. CLOSED Sun., June 17 For Remodeling Paramount Pictures Presents A Hanna-Barbera-Sagittarius Production E.B. White's Charlotte's Web tess KKJNOTRACK M#UM AVAiLAJU SHOWS NIGHTLY WEEKEND MATINIES WEEKDAY MATINIf 7:00 & 9:00 1:00 & 3:00 1:30 1075 N. Henderson AMERICA'S §TIAK EXPERT FOR YOUR DINING & DANCING PLEASURE Appearing Tuesday, Friday/ Saturday ENTERTAINMENT BY RON CARROLL AND THE INN CROWD AT THE Sheraton Motor Inn "THE INN PLACE" I-74 At E. Main 343-7151 OPEN 8 PM Shows At Dusk TONIGHT and SATURDAY! TWO GREAT FLICKS Enjoy A Movie Under The Stars . . . Comfort ' of Your Own Car ITS THE BATTLE OF THE SEXES A5 SAVAGE PLANET WOMEN ATTACK FEMALE SPACE INVADERS II I ALL NEW AND IN COLOR R.l.a.nd of Boggy 55®5^ Oeeh NBrJ^BNM ATRUESTORY OPEN 7 PM NOW! 'SHOWS 7»1S * 9 PM 1 WHEREVIR YOU'VE BEEN — THIS IS WMIRI YOU NEVER BEEN BEFORE , . . THE MOST FAN. TAITIC UNPEN IEA ODYIflY EVER FUMED . . . SEE * THE NEPTUNE HEAD THE WANT ADS! HEAD THE WANT ADS!