The Fool-Killer from Pores Knob, North Carolina • Page 2

THE FOOL-KILLER, PORES KNOB, N. JUNE, 1925 TOM SIMS SAY4B: much about. Is it a good thing MONKEYS IN MEMPHIS The Fool-Kilter 4or a bad thing? Is it right or The dear bruddering are still A Monthly Mustard-Plaster for the Blood-Boils of Society, Church arid State. 1 PUBLISHED MONTHLY at Pores Knob, North Carolina pulling hair and cracking heads over the monkey question. The latest battle has just been puljed off at Memphis, where the Southern Baptist Convention was recently in session.

It seems thai; the Southern Baptists, in convention assembled, were not quite able to bury wrong?" iNo answer. Silence. "Say, I'm not, joking. I really want to know? Must I believe that man evoluted up from a tadpole's grandpap?" Still no answer. More silence.

"Hey, there, Mr. Convention! Has the cat got your tongue? tit are you deaf? Why don't you talk? I am asking for information. You know Evolution is a big question among the people. The churches are split up over it. And here you are pos Warm enough now to use your vest to patch your trousers.

predict a hot summer: We always do. It always is. The straw lid is budding forth. It blossoms out. Then goes to seed.

The poor are with us always, but the rich go to summer resorts. Menmay be less intelligent than women, but they have better taste in marrying. The funniest news in the paper James Larkin Pearson, Editor the hatchet and smoke the pipe of peace. With poor old Evolu- tion as the bone of contention, SUBSGRIPTTON RATES: Single, Subscription one year 25c they found themselves in exactly the same sort xof a pitiful pickle that the Democrats got into at Madison's Quare Garden. In Clubs of Five or More 15c i ing as the mouthpiece of the Who among us will ever live loner enough to forget that awful Mc- Baptists of the South, and you today is that a big chewing gum Entered at the Postoffice at Pores Knob, N.

as second class mail matter. HOW TO SEND SUBSCRIPTIONS When you send in clubs it is not necessary to write long letters. A cor rect list of names and addresses, with money order or check to cover same, and your own name and address as club sender, is enough. But remember this: Please do not send poorly or carelessly' written lists, as they are very difficult to make out, and if we cannot make them out correctly the subscribers will not get their papers can't even tell feller what you think about it." Trembling like a poplar leaf in a high wind, Mr. Convention opens his lips and manages to stammer "rethink I think I'm afraid to say what I think.

Please don't ask me. Your question is very Seems like it, sure enough. And so that's all the South-ern Baptist Convention can tell me about one of the livest questions of the day. Oh, well I Let it go I wouldn't dare to suggest that the Southern Baptist Convention doesn't know anything about Evolution. Let us say, rather, that it knows and has got its wisdom packed in so tight that it can't get any of it out.

manufacturer chews tobacco You' are not old if at midnight you start wondering what you will do till bed-time. Girl who met a millionaire in Florida will marry him in California. It was quite a chase. Travelling to see new things isn't always as interesting as sitting still and seeing the old ones change. Doesn't matter, of course, but Liangling Chang, new ChiiJese consul, may have been named for a fire wagon.

PREMIUMS For Club-Raisers Hello! Listen! Here" is a list of some Valuable Premiums that you can earn in a few minutes or a few hours just for a little pleasant work. Take subs for The Fool-Killer at 15 cents eaeh and send in the number required for the- premium you want. Samples and order blanks free for the asking. Now go to it: JOY PACKAGE "Bluets and Buttercups," a booklet of poems by Cora Adoo-Smith battle over the Klucker question? One side wanted to denounce the Kluck-ers by name in the platform, and the other side said it would die first. It went on that way till both sides were just about dead or ought to have been.

But after the smoke of battle had cleared away, there was to be found no mention of the Kluckers infhe platform. They had merely ducked and dodged it. The only thing they had been able to do about it was to do nothing. They were afraid to mention it either way. So it came to pass that history repeated itself in Memphis, and the Southern Baptist Convention pulled off tlie same sort of a "fraid tVt" stunt in trying to deal with Evolution.

A strong effort was made by the Funny Dementalists to have the convention reject and denounce Evolution by namje; but the Monkey-ites out voted them two to one, and the convention went on record as refusing to take a stand against Evolution. Well, then, if the Baptists are not against Evolution theymust be for it. But they didn't have backbone enough to say so. They just' politely closed their gab-traps on that subject and didn't express any opinion at all. Always have the lists typewritten if possible, and in case you cannot do that, please PRINT OUT the names and addresses in printing letters with pen or pencil.

This is VERY IMPORTANT. If you have something important to say, condense it all you can and write it on a separate sheet of paper. Never mix subscription orders with other matters in the body of a letter. And always remember to write on one side of the paper only. Never write on both sides of the paper.

This also is VESY IMPORTANT. In ordering your address changed, always give the old address as well as the new. That is terribly important. Remittances should be made by registered letter, express or postoffice money order. Direct all letters and make all orders payable to: THE FOOL-KILLER, Pores Knob, North Carolina STATEMENT Mr.

R. Meadows, who for the past several months has been Business Manager of The Fool-Killer, has resigned his position and is no longer connected with the paper. A "nigger" is aj colored person Wno has no money. "Wallace Pearson. Well printed and tastefully bound.

Also a folder tell "I have been able 'to discover but very few brains among movie stars," says Elinor Glyn. Lawsy massy sakes, Elinor, what are you talking about Movie stars haven't the least particle of use for brains. All in the world that the movie star needs is a purty face and an eloquent pair of legs, and she will make more money" in a bright than a car load of mere brains could' make in a life-time. Brains Aw, shucks ing "How to Be a Joycrafter." Given They just "ploughed around PARAGRAPHS. as Abe Lincoln used to say a-bout the log-pile, and left it there for future conventions to deal with.

Afraid of it, that's all. Now it seems to me that for a great religious convention like that not to have ANY opinion on such a big vital question The conditions of the world are always "justabout" to get better, but they never do. At least, they haven't yet. Maybe they will some time. I keep on hoointr.

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It will make her love you. Free and postpaid for a club of 20. PEARSON'S' POEMS by Jaines Larkin Pearson. Large book of 374 pages, cloth bound, title in gold. Weigjis nearly two pounds.

Contains all of Pearson's best poems. Has been highly praised by the critics. Publisher's price $2.00. Free and postpaid for a club of 25 subs to The Fool-Killer at 15 cents each. STUDIES IN THE SCRIPTURES.

The best Bible Commentary ever written. Answers every question. Clears up, all the doubts and misunderstandings. Explains present conditions in theworld and what is coming next. No library is complete without these great books.

Seven large cloth-bound volumes, nearly 3000 pages. Free-and postpaid for a club of 100 subs to The Pool-Killer at 15 cents each. Address: The Fool-Killer, I Pores Knob, N. C. MM Evolution is either right or wrong, true or false.

It carft be both. And a powerful deliberative body like the Southern Baptist Convention ought to know which it is. It claims to represents the Baptists of the South and to speak their sentiments. To1 say that it don't know is a confession of ignorance and disqualifies it for leadership of the people. To say that it knows and wont tell is a confession of cowardice, which is worse than ignorance.

I walk up to Mr. S. B. C. and I say: "Looky here, Mr.

Convention, I want to know about this here Evolution they talk so Yes, honey, you may do just about anything you please, provided you don't talk about it. And you may talk about anything you please, provided you don't do it. Up to now I have been sitting down here at home and waiting for subscriptions to come. They came some, but not enough. Now I propose to go out after them with a 'search warrant and my double-barrelled mouth loaded for bear.

Look out, little uns! Where's yer Pap? sje The Florida legislature is considering making it illegal to be descended from- a monkey. Corn Bread The kind your mother used to make. Buy an C. Meadows "Imperial" Iron Frame Corn Mill and Lkave REAL Corn Bread at your house. It also grinds feed.

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Dept. Pores Knob, N. C..