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ear Carolyn: Almost six months ago, I began a long-distance relationship with someone known for three years. I was his first girlfriend. As the months passed, I found that my feelings were not as sincere as I had first thought, so I broke it off. He took it very hard, but asked if we could remain friends. I said I would like to try.

The that followed afterward was difficult, to say the least. Hardly a conversation went by that he mention how down he felt, and how hurt he was, and how terrible I had made him feel. I would offer a sympathetic shoulder, knowing I really had hurt him a great deal been on that end of a breakup a few times. However, he would get the idea that we were going to get back together again, and I would tell him that, no, we This just started the cycle over again. One night, he asked me if I had found a better reason for the breakup besides feeling it I was bewildered (I really think of a better reason, can and told him so.

He then began another bitter tirade, and I finally snapped and yelled at him. I then blocked him from almost every venue of communication with me. I feel bad now at being so harsh with him. I need to know how to get over it. Any thoughts? Tired and Remorseful Get over it the old-fashioned way: Blame him.

Obviously you made plenty of mistakes yourself. Just not the ones bitter about. Your falling for him and losing interest in him were feelings, and therefore unimpeachable, and breaking up with him was the only honest (and therefore unimpeachable) way to behave in response to those feelings. Yours were mistakes of good intentions: agreeing to a friendship you apparently want (thereby giving him hope), and falling for the poor-me act of one angry, manipulative man. He was punishing you, and is still punishing you, for your feelings.

punishing you for having an opinion that he does- like. Wow. Maybe now you can think of that to dump him. Dear Carolyn: Not too long ago, my father hit on me. I never told my boyfriend because he idolizes his father and I was close to his family.

Recently, my boyfriend and I broke up (after three years) because of several problems we were having, but now I hear his father is saying things to my ex that suggest that I have good character and good we split. I know we are broken up, but I gave my heart and soul to this relationship and I feel what his father is doing is terribly unjust. If I tell my ex what his father did now, it just look like being spiteful? Is there anything I can do at this point? J. You can be grateful the breakup spared you from having to take this on. torture to know being maligned but you need to let time advocate for you.

The only truth your ex will believe is the one he finds for himself, and he needs to grow past his father to find it. Write to Me About The Washington Post, Style Plus, 1150 15th NW, Washington, D.C. 20071 or e-mail: WASHINGTON POST WRITERS GROUP Breakup lead to a clean break Life, etc. 7 HE EWS BSERVER FRIDAY, JANUARY 6, 2006 102030405060708090 102030405060708090 7E-N, FRIDAY, JANUARY 6, 2006 onthetube Best bets for prime time TV tonight Annie (FAM, 8 p.m.) Adorable Aileen Quinn stars in this 1982 film adaptation of the musical, whose hit song became a classic. Albert Finney plays Daddy Warbucks, and Carol Burnett is at her comic best as the evil Miss Hannigan.

Remember the Titans (TNT, 8 p.m.) Denzel Washington plays a high-school football coach in charge of integrating the first multiracial team in 1971. The assignment gives him plenty to smooth over with students, their parents and other faculty members. Vendors say the T-shirts appeal primarily to blacks, though other minority groups and even police officers have been buying the shirts. What started as a small Newark, N.J., operation in 1997 has grown into an international business with at least 42 vendors selling the shirts, according to the man who claims to have created the slogan, rap recording artist James Stokes. Officials at Warner Bros.

Entertainment, a subsidiary of Time Warner, approve of the way their logo is being used. Scott Rowe, a spokesman for the company, said Time Warner would make every effort to stop the manufacture and sale of the shirts because of possible copyright infringement. But the company, whose Warner Bros. logo commemorates the four founding Warner brothers and is associated with the Batman, Superman and Harry Potter movie franchises, has not been able to stop hundreds of bootleggers from printing and distributing the T-shirts. Stokes estimates that he sells 3,000 shirts every year.

His version of the shirt sells for $25, and the sweat shirt model sells for $42. Bootleg copies sold on the streets of New York go for as little as $15. On eBay, the shirts are available for $9, plus a $5 shipping fee. Stokes, who started his business as a vendor in New York, said his profit ranges from $6 to $8 a shirt. He says he is not worried about legal intervention from Warner Bros.

A few years ago, when the design on the T-shirt was scanned and sent by e-mail message to and their he said, employees at Time Warner in New York ordered a couple of shirts from Web site. thought they wanted to sue me and were ordering the shirts to have them as Stokes said. thought of not sending them, at first, but then I realized it was my slogan and I was standing by it, so I sent them. Besides, the logo is not completely the The shield logo of Warner originally created in 1923, has been modified 11 times and the latest version was adopted in 1998. Ken Davis, a police officer stationed at the Commerce Middle School in Yonkers, N.Y., said that many students were wearing the A shirt.

The school decided to ask students not to wear the shirt on school property. sayings encourage a dangerous atmosphere on our school he said. But Detective Mark T. of Daytona Beach, said he found the shirt humorous, not offensive. think it is proper school said.

then again, there is a lot of dress that I personally feel students should wear during school Cpl. Daryl Macaluso of the police department in Durham, said the shirt was harmless. even had a A sticker on my private car at one he said. As for Stokes, proud of his creation. create it to be he said.

created it to be cause that chick is a (expletive) Yeah, these guys are quality and swear wandered into a bawdy, buddy sex comedy. Then a stranger encourages them to take the train to Slovakia, where a hostel with the most amazing women who will do everything imaginable. Young, stoned and far from home, they say why not and the women they meet there disappoint. Their exotic roommates, Natalya (Barbara Nedeljakova) and Svetlana (Jana Kaderabkova), have a propensity for walking around topless by day and drinking and dancing by night. Everything falls into and laps too easily including Natalya and Svetlana until they each find themselves handcuffed to chairs in a dungeon room with a variety of sharp tools and wild-eyed people with ideas about how to use them.

Yes, is dizzying in the violent acts it depicts, but also surprising in its ability to garner sympathy for its characters, who seemed so obnoxious in the beginning. (Though, to be fair, Josh is the more decent of the two. You can tell because he uses an asthma inhaler.) But the main point, without giving too much away, is the idea of torture as sport arbitrary, elaborate, depraved. And whether or not this kind of horror movie is your cup of tea, you have to at least admire Roth for the daring and creativity with which he illustrates that concept. ear Amy: I discovered that my husband of 35 years has been in contact (for several years) with his high school girlfriend via e-mail.

I happened to see an old e-mail that was saved on the computer, which had terms of endearment in it and referred to their recent times together. After asking him about the e-mail and his actual contact with her, he said that I was overreacting, and that if he really wanted to be with her he would have left me. requested that we go into therapy, and he has said no because he done anything wrong. Needless to say, I am so hurt. Feeling Betrayed Dear Betrayed: Your husband seems to have confused therapy with the penitentiary.

You go to therapy when done something Therapy the last stop for incorrigible husbands. You go to therapy when you want to understand yourself. Obviously, your husband want to understand himself better. His version of marriage is, it broke, fix it, and it broke unless I say it What a disappointingly low standard. I can imagine how bad you must feel knowing that your feelings hold so little interest for your husband of 35 years.

Because you seem to comprehend what therapy is for understanding, self-awareness and healing you should go. Though you may never figure out what, exactly, your husband is up to with his old girlfriend, you will figure out how you feel about it. Then be in a position to know what you intend to do about the situation. Ignoring your behavior is one option. Leaving the marriage is another.

But there are many variations and gradations of reactions between those two extremes. Therapy will help you to sort this out. Dear Amy: I am 26 and have been dating my boyfriend for a little more than a year. Before dating we were close friends for about a year. We are discussing marriage.

We are of different religions, and my religion is very important to me. He is willing to convert and raise our children in accordance with my religion. He has even said that once he converts, he will truly embrace the religion as his own and enjoy celebrating with me. He has discussed this with his family, and they are extremely supportive. Unfortunately, my family is distraught.

They think I should have begun dating someone from a different religion, and they believe that even if he converts we will always face difficulties because our extended family would not all be the same religion. I understand their concerns, but I think a lot of the difficulties we would face result from the fact that they are so opposed to this. They will not even meet him because they want to support this relationship. I am very torn. I love this man very deeply, and I am sure that together we can have a wonderful home, instilled with religious values.

However, without the support of my family, and worse, with their constant criticism, I fear our life together would be filled with much frustration, tension and pain. Is there any way to get my family to come around, or to at least understand that I am not trying to hurt them but simply doing what I think is best? Torn Dear Torn: The best way to approach your family would be through your clergy. You should contact your hometown clergy the person who knows your personal feelings and faith practices the best and involve him or her in this important discussion. going to assume that your clergy member will work with you and your guy and serve as a bridge between you and your family. Of course, there is a possibility that your clergy will come down squarely in your camp, though I can hardly imagine that a representative of your faith be delighted to welcome a new member to the flock, as well as being experienced with the issue of joining families of different religions.

Dear Amy: More on the Visible Panty Line debate: I generally dress to sexually arouse men or to compete with women. I dress to look elegant and professional, which VPL does not though I solve the problem by buying pants that fit properly and cling. At work, I expend most of my energy on doing my job well, not on sexually attracting men. Those guys who imagine why women avoid VPL when men love it are they also mystified by why we wear suits to work instead of bikinis and stilettos? No Thong Yet in Virginia Dear No Thong: Perfectly put. Send questions to or to Ask Amy, Chicago Tribune, TT500, 435 N.

Michigan Chicago, IL 60611. TRIBUNE MEDIA SERVICES Husband refuses to see damage done to marriage TELL ME ABOUT IT Carolyn Hax toldyouso Our advice columnists answer questions six days a week. Get your advice Monday: Tell Me About It Tuesday: Ask Amy Wednesday: Tell Me About It Thursday: Ask Amy Friday: Ask Amy Tell Me About It Sunday: Ask Amy ASK AMY Amy Dickinson Hope (ABC, 8:30 p.m.) Hope (Faith Ford) is upset by complaints about their love life. Faith (Kelly Ripa) tells her married sex lives always lose their spark, and Hope sets out to prove her wrong by setting up a hotel tryst for herself and Charley. The Book of Daniel (NBC, 9 p.m.) Aidan Quinn stars in this new drama series as Rev.

Daniel Webster, an Episcopal minister whose regular conversations with Jesus help him navigate his relationships with his family, congregation and superiors. Susanna Thompson plays his wife. T-SHIRT CONTINUED FROM PAGE 1E HOSTEL CONTINUED FROM PAGE 1E football farewell is No. 2 AVID AUDER THE ASSOCIATED PRESS NEW YORK A lthough it was the No. 2 prime- time show last week, Night did- end its 36-year run with a particularly crowded party.

An estimated 14.4 million people tuned in to watch the New England Patriots whip the New York Jets, a game that wound up secondary to acelebration of the history. Night moves to ESPN next season. The finale was below the 16.2 million viewers that Night has averaged this season. A decade ago, during the 1995-96 season, Monday game averaged 23.8 million viewers, according to Nielsen Media Research. During a holiday week with few original programs on the air, a rerun of Crime Scene was the most popular show.

CBS continued its season-long winning streak, averaging 10.1 million viewers (6.7 rating, 12 share). ABC had 8.1 million (5.1, 9), NBC 7 million (4.7, 8), Fox 5.7 million (3.7, 6), UPN 2.6 million (1.7, 3), the WB 2.2 million (1.5, 3) and Pax TV 510,000 (0.4, 1). Nielsen began measuring the Spanish-language network Univision last week for the first time. Its average prime-time audience of 3.4 million (1.7 rating, 3 share) beat both UPN and the WB. won the evening news ratings race, averaging 9.6 million viewers (6.6, 13).

News had 8.7 million viewers (6.0, 12) and the Evening 7.8 million (5.3, 10). A ratings point represents 1,102,000 households, or 1 percent of the estimated 110.2 million TV homes. The share is the percentage of in-use televisions tuned to a given show. For the week of Dec. 26-Jan.

1, the top 10 shows, their networks and viewerships: Crime Scene CBS, 17.65 million; Night Football: New England at N.Y. ABC, 14.43 million; Monday ABC, 13.34 million; CBS, 12.93 million; Fox, 12.75 million; ABC, 12.4 million; CBS, 12.19 million; and a Half CBS, 12.14 million; a CBS, 11.71 million; CBS, 11.51 million. Director Eli creatively depicts graphic scenes of torture (some with a sadistic surgeon). NIELSENS.