The Kansas City Times from Kansas City, Missouri • 9

Till: KANSAS CITY TIMES TKIDAY ACCCST lJMi FOOLMif QUESTION SEEN BY THE STROLLER Wifi wjogL i Ip Ami Iff and just take along some 2 isqaaBiai 5 cut and slightly dazed but a comedian to the death He was carted to his Long Inland home and a doctor came an accident?" said the medico cheerily thunks I just bad replied the comic wanly INCIDENTS THAT ARE A PART OF THE DAJLY LIFE IN NEW YORK iluhill CHEESE Kind Hearted Conductor Helps mind Man Board a Woman ou a I Ire Kacape Bathing Her Feet people who know coffee drink Chase Sanborns Near Long Beach I saw a speeding bicyclist they still ride them on Long Island sideswipe a motor car and hurled Into a clown fall along the road side A woman was driving the motor car She stopped short Jumped out and ran back to view the damage He was not hurt but his bicycle was wrecked Sbo gathered him and the wreckage In her car and drove away A nice beginning for one of those movie romances and just about as plausible as many There Is a touch of the Idyllic in the transformation of a former gangster known as "quick with the gat" on the East Side He was recently released from a short stretch In prison and has become a traveling salesman for an artificial flower house "I always loved be said m-p Well Miss Dorothy and what do you 'want to do today? Hunt 1 silly nurse How'll I know till you've told me not (Cowrwht 1026 HE MAKES WAR ON BOOZE rade Supplied bv CHASE SANBOKN SC7 North W(l! St rtil zo til A COl RTNEY It nenreQUthe phone kon 3 ui AS WOMAN PROSECUTOR PUTS bootleggers behind bars The merchant who told about the artificial flower salesman tells a man who sells bird cages and a woman who sells burial slippers They have circled tho world several times and the salary of each Is more than $20000 a year and expenses Same Trice forover35ijears USE LESS THAN OF HIGHFR PRICED BRANDS Why Pay I War Prices? GOVERNMENT USED MILLIONS OF POUNDS gassed by fumes given off by the ship's cargo of cheese Foods ordinarily good and wholesome may act as poisons if stored In a place without sufficient ventilation In the East India dorks a liner was being unloaded and the first man to go down the ladder Into the hold was a docker named Hutchins Reaching the bottom he gave a cry and collapsed Robert Lake who was following Hutchins attempted to rescue him but he too fell insensible Before Lake and Hutchins were gotten out eight men were badly gassed The poison gas which had done such mischief came from a large consignment of sugar It la probable that some had fermented urah (opt MeiiPiPi a Former huii'Mii Hue Iot Only One cuittl Oat of 07 Br McIntyre New York Aug 5 Thoughts and scenes while strolling Chairs along the curb In front of the old Broadway Central hotel And the stairway upon which Jim Elsk stood when a bullet sent him sprawling to his death There was a gay cavalier Who had a dramatic finish The wnlte pigeons circling spires of Grace church And darting up to touch the heartbeat of the bky Whatever became of the finger loops to pull on shoes? Another reason for liking New York A conductor walks to the curb to help a blind man on a bus An lee cream vendor who looks like Menjou Wonder If any native of Arizona wears a monocle The hurly-burly shoppers A huge woman bathing her feet In a pail on a fire escape The Greek Orthodox church where sermons are delivered In the ancient Slovene language A little girl with a headless doll A shabby cabbage smelling street And a policeman doing his dally dozing The oldebt street In New York Pearl Back to the Broadway ego An egotist Is never sure of himself That's why he's an egotist Everybody returning from Spain knocks that country Still any country permitting bull fights is decadent Gaze at Mexico! Florist blogan: "Unsay It with George polkadot handkerchief The Winter Garden again proving flesh Is not weak Those white shaggy dogs in the gloomy homes along Fifty-third street And the booming house named Charleston" The moan of a wheezy accordion and odor of pork chops Upper Sixth avenue's flair since the elevated was removed New buildings going up in the boom There are now "Sixth avenue The Japanese bird and fish store A girl with a huge gold bangle In ohe ear A dog In a rain blanket I still think the salesmanship requiring highest efficiency and tact is that of life insurance 1 had one man trallng me for ten years Uefore he sold and not once in that time did he lose his temper although I wasn't a very hospitable prospect (Copvrloht 1026 (ftdmoAu hristitn Selnnrs Monitor inly one acquittal out of fifty-seven es and not a hip-pocket charge mi them So spoke Mrs Sarah Cory miP-t a'-slttant United States attor-in charge of prohibition law vlo-ons at Dallas working under direction of Hpnry Zwelfel of Fort rtii the district attorney who ed in a satisfied way at tho "casu-i list' which the court had made In nupli of activity The record il Fifty-seven complaints entered -one convictions one hung Jury ir cd'-n continued for further re-roll and only one acquittul Tlre were nearly one hundred men 1 women sentenced under these irgts said Mrs Menezes Tested Recipes 10 THE finest thing you can do for yourself and yours at breakfast is to provide a change in menu Appetites grow stale and people weary of eating the same old and breakfasts Try Quaker Puffed Wheat different in pvery way from any other cereal known whole wheat steam exploded to 8 times natural size then oven crisped to rare deliciousness Tastes like toasted nutmeats VSED A LIVJG CEVEST MoMfli Employed to Hold Break water Together Fmm Tid Bit London Few visitors to Cherbourg the French seaport fall to notice the Immense breakwater that protects its harbor A curious story Is told of the building of this great breakw'ater which represents an engineering feat of the most difficult kind The builder noticed with what strength and tenacity the common mussels of the shore cement themselves together and to rocks and stones Taking advantage of this Idea Instead of extending the masonry Indefinitely he placed In the sea immense quantities of loose boulders and stones and upon these tons of mussels were tipped The shellfish speedily bound the stones with a cement much more durable and satisfactory than any man could have CHICKEN (5en 6 pron) White meat of cold boiled fowl DWd rrVry hrench Celery Salt DRESSING 2 tablepornful P-epar-d Mustard 6 table'poonful sweet cream 1 teaspoonful sugar Roil a fowl until tender AMow to coo! Hie wh te meat only cutting into itnu'l pietea To one part chicken add one and half part of red celerv Seavm to taste with French Celery Salt Arrange on a dish and pour over this the dressing Garnish to suit If readers of this newRpapr II send fot cents in stamps to Era ly Bieeke 1602 Arch St Philadelphia Pa they wll mailed a copy of "Made shes Salads and Savories containing this and many other recpc that brmg ne flavor to food el Approximately 20 is bran but you would never guess it Children love it like a confection For the Great Adventure of a change get a package at any grocery just try it Quaker Puffed Wheat The you crave A comedian was recently in a motor car smash up and was removed badly The Modem Time -Proved Electric efrigemtor MISSING TEETH Sework7 or a Good Set of Teeth Keep This Ad Is rood for 12 on firt poult frr dntal whn TT amount fin or o'r one 1 Allowi 1 to a pan nr 5 Our Popular Money Saving Price i Gold Crowns 22k Low QT Bndgework per tootk 03 Artificial Teeth Low as $10 Silver Fillings $160 op Terth Cleaned $1 00 op Broken Plates Repaired in 4 Hours Work Ovnrrmtfrri Timlnnttr yrt PS 11 I DENTISTS DR I bMITH of'i es la £(atuArff 907 Cor 12th and Grand Entrance on 12th St 2d Floor Bw iniitf to du PMuSl hundav 9 to 12 Victor 53'9 Out of i ii i iH miv ha re I llj rr1e in 11 moruiug and get work fiQlsbed i i A I i i I I i i 2 I I 1 i i i i i i i i 1 i Salads 4 Salad Cool crisp delicious salad Awaken all its flavor Snap it up to the tempting point Use Heinz Vinegar in the dressing Heinz Vinegar you know just a raw soar taste It is flavor itself every drop abounding with the true vinegar aroma and quality because aged naturally and thoroughly in the wood for over a year For real vinegar ask for Soliloquy In a Barnyard Henri lu 1'iri Svir (Translated for The fctar Consider the crows You observe them usually in pairs Often far above your head you will see one all alone cours-leg along liko a privateer at sea He appears to be In a hurry and you hear his distant thin ceasless cawing like an old man talking to himself The swallow It has no sense of style Wearing dress coat and white vest tn the morning it reminds one of a dapper singer at a cafe concert It plays tiicks with the ground as you watch for there lies the white road asleep beneath it and the bird amuses itself by sweeping down and brushing It tickling It lightly with the tip of a wing And It is as though the road moved in Its sleep for suddenly off shoots the rogue with a startled cry like an arrow into the blue Bright and sharp as a pair of shears It parts the azure fabric with a grating sound Consider the she goat She Wears an imperial her features are thin and she has the coarse croaking voice of a veteran of the Crimean ar As her hair is much too long she appears to be clad In an overcoat which Is too large for her like a tramp or else she has on her big great coat Her horns slope backward along tho spine like a man's hair brushed bark from the forehead As she walks her full udder oscillates and swings like a saddle bag Suddenly she halts with forelegs planted apart to pick a her chaplet of black mud The rooster Even atop the manure pile he always appears to be strutting the stage A noble bird as long as he is not tn a huriy for when he runs he is as ridiculous as it one leg were shorter than the other Ho stalks into the kitchen very erc-t and draped in his brilliant cape beneath which one looks In vatn for the tip of a rapier Ills round eye dull as a split pea considers you haughtily On his cheeks two lime like teals have coagulated He is astonished that you do not render a military salute and shows annoyance because his spurs do not ring upon the tiles And the turkey Puffed out In bis black silk he resembles a dried up spinster who has dined too well at the marriage feast Sensitive is he and be cause he lacks Intelligence he grumbles about everything In order not to miss a Justifiable cause for vexation If you pabs him innocently whistling a tune he thinks you are mocking him and bridles But rage strangles him and for a moment he Is sreechless then with a burst of stupid laughter he clucks like wine poured from a bottle Schedule lor Going Fishing 5 a Rise and lurch towards alarm clock 5:01 5 05 Snort undpr cold shower 506 Yell In response to wife's query "Yes late Explain that it is necessary to be out on the fishing grounds when the tide turns Explain further that fish run with the incoming tide 5:00 with wife that in all probability thero are as many fish In the sea at low tide as at high 5:11 Say ratW irritably that all you know about It Is that the fishing is good while the tide Is running In Reply "Oh' any old hat will 5:14 Inquire what difference It makes 5:15 Say the white leghorn will be all wonder what the white leghorn looks like Answer wife to the general effect that the tide rises Inshore about the same time tt does off the lighthouse only a few difference 1 Reply the fish come that close to land so we have to go out where they are 5 IS Assure wife quite Irritably that you the slightest notion how the fish know how close they are to bhore 5:19 Add as an afterthought that probably they can hear the motor car horns and tilings like that 5:20 Join wife at garage door Pack material In car 6:26 Observe that you like to lay a sizable bet that the rest of the bunch have been waiting for ages Drive to yacht club 6 01-6-15 Walt for rpst of party Walt for fisherman to arrive with power bont Help fomale members of party aboard stow various packages bottles and baskets 6:46 Settle back to doze as boat heads out to sea Special Demonstration at these Dealers Cunningham Plumbing Heating Co 30 i 47th Main Furniture Co 310911 Main Su John Wollard 4434 St John WUion 4731 Troost Empire Furniture Co 2405 Eaat 15th Magelnaen Electric Shop 7435 Brookiide Wyandotte Furniture Co Independence Mo Smallwood Electric Co 517 MinnesotaAve Kama City Kan A Stacold compact plant ftTnexpenaive to operate cotta leaa than ice £Sracold unit can be Installed In pree ent refrigerator Colder and cleaner than ice Freeies dainty desserts ices sherbet custards etc Self-contained unit beautiful in finish and appointment Simple and nolseles in operation 40 put smallest Stacold in your other sites also on similarly reasonable terms To Soot territory il yet open to dealtri uAo will ajtereiui tiy puih yy i Stacold tales Writ ui for further detail Warner Stacolj Cor ueaiers potation Manufacturer Exchange Building Kanta City Mo Hard Pimples Over Face Itched and Burned Skin Very Rough skin trouble I was bothered with was scattered all over my face Some of the pimples were bard and some were not but moit of them were large and red and usually festered 1 hey itched and burned and my skin was very rough I UBed several remedies without success I began using Cuticura Soap and Ointment and a short time 1 could see that they were helping me I continued the treatment and now 1 am (Signed) Misa Grace Jones Columbus Ksns Use Cuticura Soap Ointment and Talcum to promote and maintain skin purity elcin comfort and skin health the Soap to cleanss and purify Ointment to soothe and heal and Talcum to powder 6MpKf Ointments suH Kte Ttlcua Ve Sold rrwhr6 SRmnle rb fr A'Mfws "OeHee-s Liberator Dpl 8 UeidM Mm" Caticure Sbswnf Stick 36c SARAH cony AmVEZKR ASSISTANT MTKO RTATk8 ATTORNEY IN CHARI LIQUOR VIOLATIONS AT DALLAS TLX brora sketch fel estimated that every producer distributor who la sentenced auto-hally stops scores and maybe hun-i of the little pint possession Vmr records here seem to Indicate imrease In crime since the enact-t of the prohibition It was re- ked So are the number of births Increased so are the population figures ou are dealing In lump she jln-d do you know how this I ged 'crime appears when on a per capita basis? No? BUT OF MIOPHESTINO I don't either because I never had ie to count she said remember that when I was a very all girl I heard many times the fear "essed that the country was going the dogs and that the younger gen-Hon was 'fast' that crops were sure be a failure and nothing was right i the world We haven't quite gone I the dogs vet and the pessimists are I 1 with us out the Increasing number of victious on liquor charges Mrs 1 nezes was asked If she believed that i ntually thk people would become irated to the fact that the liquor I i mess Is unprofitable I no prophet or sociologist but If 1 bring them up here we'll put them they continue making or I 'ing the stuff at least id Mrs Menezes those uig out the summary of the cases idled at the term closing that day I he list showed that In no case did e(ond oftetider or a producer or dls-J lut'r of liquor get a chance to satisfy I law out of his profits They got ensunnient In every case This is the I it in Judge William Atwell's court AN Allllfc 1IOUHEVV1KK Gut I tee what you are leatfftig up she said "and answer It now to whether prohibition Is a success failure I would say let's give It a chance If at the end of twenty-five ra is not working successfully it 1 be lepealed by the people In the way in which they enacted It time than that would not be a fair out And while we are trying It It is duty of every American citizen not t0 observe the law but to assist in ouforcement and this means the and the lovers of personal frv of which I am one as well as all rest fine of the most serious factors tn en-lng the law Is the unwillingness of average man to appear In court and lfy against the violators This Is of many even stanch prohlbltlon- pides putting in eight hours or more dv 511 1- Menezes also performs the of housewife Nile 1b the wife of rry Menezes She holds the opinion 1 women can be happily married and Ke In a piofesslonal career the same men 'tier graduating at the high school hnJJ' Scott Kas her native state "lenozes spent two years in the reislty of Kansas later taking a ll'on In the office of her father who referee in bankruptcy 11 11 A GASSED 11 CHEESE WV ere Overcome by Paine From Carjto fc'lon Till Bit hut too much of a good thlug may orse than none at all Is proved recent unpleasant experience of L'ers of the ftcanier Suffolk The rpaehed Liverpool and was 5 hhtuaded but the stevedores came hold complaining of a The two officers went 'uto the hold and as after half an thiy failed to return search was were found lying uncon-' 0ne recovered on being brought deck but the other had to be to hospital They had been TT PURJ yinegta JnrBottles Foot Kinds: HJXl MALT VINEGAR runCIDIl VINIOAX TARRAGON TINBGA1 DISTILLED WHITE VINEGAR BIST EOR riCIUNO Ask your grocer for new prices You Get What Yiu Pay for- DESTROYS Flies Mosquitoes Roaches Bedbugs Get vim for the hot Jays Best Results Blatz Malt Syrup is always rich and full flavored You get more real value when you buy 'Blatz It is purer thicker better in every way For gale at all good stores Mxt Feld Thstn Oikr Brand Ksng rt? firum (i VAL BLATZ BREWING CO Walnut and Mfr4t rin'iie i MUmouim 75 Years of Quality STAND ARD OB CONEW JERSEY) Kxprld Too Marl) From the Inriln polio Now An Indianapolis woman had nn altercation with the negro garbage man She called up the proper uuthorlty to report him saying that he spoke to her In a very The man Rt the other end of the line said "Why lady you surely wouldn't expect him to be a gentleman and a garbage collector too!" Ihe IhRnghal Jrsttr From TJfr "How do you like this we asked John Chinaman as we handed him our laundry check "Chile today and hot tamale" he replied as he blew an opium ring over a clothespin CORNS Quit relief frompainfu! corns tender toes and pressure of tight shoes DI Scholls Zina -pads All the food and bran you need Delicious for any meal i 1 1.