The Topeka Daily Capital from Topeka, Kansas • Page 16

16 THE TOPEK A DAILY CAPITAL: SUN DAY. SEPTEMBER 13, 1 891 12 PAGES. LULLABY THAT Aaawered. An amusing story is related of an Irishman named Manning, who was at THE STOEY OF ONE MELTZ BILL NYE GIVES HIS PAST HISTORY IN TWO LETTERS. I have aim shaken bands with every president of the United States except Haiford since James Buchanan, and I betfeve that I have been a consistent prof eaCor end an-ewervinB'believer in a SLEEP.

PAPA WILL COME AGAIN." WOrit CJUtYClLlUg U1HU vrii urn street near Jefferson avenue the other day. A very pronounced dude was at-1 tracted to the spot, and in the habitual Used permission of Hitchcock McCargo Publishing New York. Words and Music by DELLA BRICE. The Trouble Began with an Ice Cream burning hall, I draft ttf it that must The Kansas (fleekly Ifodsrato. BlAwont, and Bleltx Got His Back UlVigjlafnly give to one l-t-5-7 1 '1 1 1 1 1 1 1 I but It Is All Over Now and Meltx Is drawl ooservea: "Ah, what are you doing heahf "Diggin a ditch, sor," responded Manning.

"Why, thundah, I know you are digging a ditch, but what are you doing it for?" "For one day's pay, sor." The dude wiltecL-Detroit News. yl)f i i i 0 1 4 0 4 0 0 1 Gapital, Still at It. ICopyrljht. 1S9L. by Edgar W.

Nye.l BuNCOitBE Cocxty, N. C. Riding on The Great Farm and Fam Equine Divisor. the Richmond and Danville railroad the other day for an hour or so, I -was slight- ly startled on seeing the somewhat faded features of Mr. Oorundum J.

Meltz, a former fellow townsman of mine, who used to help me run the paper at home, up to the time the foreman took it in part payment of his salary. Mr. Meltz mj Moderate. "try: ily Newspaper for $1.00 Per Year. -t-l LZ 4- 3 Sleep, dar, ling, Thy dear pa pa vEl come a gain my now lives in North Carolina, and is editing the much obliged column of a Tarheel exchange.

The much obliged column is that department which acknowledges the receipt of a rutabaga in the form of a kangaroo and then takes the rutabaga in payment for same. 44- 44- 44- 4 4 I 4 Kg 'The Kansas Weekly Capital. Publilhea at Topeka. Offers the People of Kansas a Most Complete and Carefully Made 12-Fage Farm and Family Newspaper at ths Low Price of $1-00 per Tear Postag Tiid to any Address ia the United States or Canada. lt Moderate.

Mr. Cornhusk (the country boarding house keeper) The doctor lives in Plunk- ville', ten miles from here. Yes: this is the only horse I have, and there ain't a saddle about the place. It will contain proceedings of all state, n. religious, scientific, agricul tural and other conventions and meetings at the state capital, ia addition to the 5 -0- -1 1 lateat telegraphic and state news and a choice selection of literary matter from the best writers in the The Capi Tfill guard mil sing' hush a bye I.

you. tal, is republican in politics, an advo 4 4-r-4 jg iff. you bad removed the bellows from it? It ia only as a matter of courtesy an the part of the postmaster that we got your letter, for he says that the stamp had been used before, and so he wishes that you would not do that way any more. He also says that where you lived before you came here, they say that your eldest son broke jail and came home, and that when a reward of $300 was offered you turped him over to the sheriff, and that la the way yoa got your start. At Little Bethel, where you lived prior to that, the postmaster says yoa got shot in a watermelon patch with rock salt, and that, before hot weather comes again yoa ought to get another dose.

The general impression is that yoa have been trying for sixty-one years to get hold of a scheme whereby yoa could do a kind act in secret and get it into the paper next to pure reading matter. Yon can trot out your lawyer, and we will meet him on grounds of social equality. Tomorrow we will publish an account of how the White Caps whipped you in Vigo" county and put tobacco sauce on the place. We do not fear you, Mr. Meltz, for we regard you as an intellectual eggplant.

You have wielded too much influence over this paper already, and visitors who came here while yoa were waiting for the proof of one of your communications last week say that you are the same man who was tarred and feathered in Wayne county, and that you have never settled for the tor. We can stand a good deal, Mr. Meltz, in the way of free hand correspondence, but we learn that on the strength of your communications, which hare too often appeared in these columns (we regret to say, because we could not think of pieces to run In their stead), you have been accorded transportation and refreshments for man and beast. It is now time to call a halt. Your attention will never more after this be called to any allusion to yourself in these columns.

We now have another party who is going to take your place. He came yesterday with a sash of honey and a desire to avail himself of our columns. You are therefore excused, Mr. Meltz. You may return to your former avocations, if you know where they are.

We have aired the office since you went away, Mr. Meltz. and have attached an atomizer to a Babcock fire extinguisher loaded with chlorides. Now teams do not shy as they pass the office, and times are better with us. Yesterday we sold a page of advertising to S5 -0- 3: 3E i cate of prohibition, and outspoken in its editorial comments upon all the great issues before the people.

It is a Kansas paper, it believes in Kansas and her people. The future of our grand commonwealth, as an aggressive leader in the great political reforms, as the key of 11 ITL the wonderful agricultural west, attract who feels that he is well saved a most comforting and deliriously soothing sensation. As 1 say, 1 bate to be before the public through the medium of the press, bat as a citizen of some prominence here for the past seven years, boy and man, against whom the tongue of scandal has never to my knowledge been leveled, 1 must protest, and at the same time say that I do not propose to stand it. My lawyer will also call upon yon today with a writ, which you may possibly -understand better than this courteous note, which, if you use, 1 hope you will see is spelled correct. In my card to the public after the loss of my recent wife, in whi41 said that I hoped at an day to return the favor to those who had been so thoughtful as to come and tend out and fuss around and arrange the deceased so that she was tit to be Been, also in which 1 said God moved in a mysterious way his wonders to perform, your printer used a small for the name of the Deity, and made other breaks which has been a source of levity ever sense.

You will please write an apologetic editorial for the next issue of your paper or be prepared for a sickening death which will make your relations turn away and look out of the window during the funeral. I hate to be all the time before the public, and if I could have my own way about it I would keep in the background. Publicity has no charms for me. For over two years 1 have seemed to live in a glass case. My course, therefore, has of course criticised, but I would rather not be made so prominent.

1 would rather that others would introduce the lecturer when he comes here and let me off. Of course 1 always have introduced lecturers that came here, and with some success, often doing it in such a way as to make the lecture itself sound very flat, but I would rather of not done it. 1 would rather keep in the background. Yet I have always been kind of a favorite here and had a seat on the introducing the speaker for two seats and a locaL It is rather sad at the age of sixty-one years to be attacked by a paper to which I have contributed off and on for seven years, boy and man, brightening it up from week to week when the editor's brain seemed infested with, cockroaches and everything known to science except ideas, perhaps. i 1 1 't 1 4 1 XT i i I 1 I.

i ft. mt za Slum ber soft I7 Yes, dear pa pa viH come a gain ing the best people of every state, commands the attention of the whole country. It is a state that has had its vicissitudes in the past and by the courage and intelligence of its people has overcome all difficulties and leads in material prosperity and educational and religious progress all the western states. To help to build up a state among such a people, the Capital ia proud to be an humble worker. Sexd th "Capital" to Friend.

Now is the time to send the news of Kansas throughout the 63st among your friends. The Capital, is a representative of tho life, the energy and the success oil Kansas. If you have old neighbors or relatives you wish to keep informad about affairs in Kansas, send The Kan 0- WK MET YOU IN THE STREET. He says that, on the whole, he has done better here than he did in Wyoming, and really lives higher. Last week six specimens of deformed fruit and a sack of hulled corn came into his department.

Besides thi3, he "was shown" a stalk of corn over 9 feet 5 inches in height and a pair of twin colts connected at birth by a natural neck yoke. Though some of these things, of course, are nojf edible, he says he does well, and that he thinks the climate alone is far more nutritious than that of Wyoming. Looking over my papers when I got back to my flat, I found "copy" of a little parallel column sendoff, which I was just about to print on Meltz when the foreman. took charge. This is iU sr ia -S S- -Jr rU.

0 Mr. Corundum J. To v. 22: Dar linj slum ber, Close yourpret -ty bright eye. To the Editor of Tbi3 Paper: Sib My attention has been called to a most unwarranted and Indecent attack made upon me by your paper In its last Issue regarding the ice cream which was had on my lawn for the children of poor property holders and voters of this place on the 19th inst.

Meltz: Sir Your note is printed adjacent to these words of cheer, which will show how it was that we spoke of your ice cream, scuffle in a free and untrammeled style. The first of our article, Mr. Meltz, you will notice, ap pears almost verbatim as you wrote it, but before going to press our reporter, who went down to do your debauch, suffered so keenly from the effects of your condensed milk and cornstarch, together with the lining i PP rit. pp pp I I 1 1 I y- 1 11 Smith, Gray Monthly. No Use.

Ooojriebt, 1SS9, bv P. B. McCargo, Boston, Hats. When Mr. David Dear, winner of the When respectable and law abiding people are attacked in this way it is time to call a halt.

The pain I felt on having my attention called to the reference can hardly be overestimated. For years 1 have been a constant reader of your paper, and also have been its friend. When others about me was downing it on every hand, I have said, "No, I think a circus, and also agreed to run the name queen prize at uisiey, was a law student he once attended an "St home." On the servant asking his name he replied, "David Dear." The girl blushed and said, "Yes, yes, but what is -your and dato diagonally "August of the freezer which he had scraped off in order to allay the pangs of hunger, that he added a few lines regarding your style of three sheet generosity. We well recall the 3 sas WEEKLY UAPITaL. It will De a friendly act.

and help your state, and pos3ibly be the means of bringing your friends tha state. Give it a trial. Th leai-liir. An agricultural department has been added to the paper, which will be more complete and valuable to every farmer, stock breeder, horticulturist, apiarist and dairyman than any agricultural paper ever made in the state. A practical farmer and graduate of the State Agricultural College hns been employed to give bis entire time and attention to ti editing of this department.

This feature of the paper will be worth many times the price of the Weekly. The particular features of the paper will be: The Telegraphic News, General and State. The Agricultural Department. The Continued and Short Stories by good writers. The Weekly Sermon of Dr.

Talmage. The Humorous Contributions of Bill Nye. Reports of Agricultural, Educational, Religious and Political Conventions. Monthly Weather Reports of Prof. Snow.

The Monthly Reports of State Board of Agriculture. Editorial Discussions. lab Oflrr. The Kansas Weekly Capital will be sent to any address, postage prepaid, one year, togetuer with fo.lolng papers at prices named opposite eacb: WESTERN VETERAN, Topeka, 1.50 WESTERN SCHOOL JOURNAL, Topeka, Kan 1.73 HOME MAGAZINE. Washington, D.C., 1.23 YOUTH'S COMPANION, Boston 3.i5 AMERICAN AGRICULTURIST, New lork 1.75 AMERICAN SWINEHERD, 1.23 AMERICAN liEE JOURNAL, l.M THE HOUSEKEEPER, Minneapolis, Minnesota LG0 Special Oflfers.

By special arrangement with various publishing companies, the Capital ia enabled to offer its subscribers a very rare chance to secure some standard books at prices much below what they can be bought alone. "Tha KaaiM Weekly Capital" Will be sent one year to any address, postage paid, together with the following excellent works, at prices which barely cover cost of production. The price includes all charges of trapsporta- other name, sir?" He assured her he had no other name. But it was of no use; the servant knew better, and announced him as "Mr. David." Exchange.

Flower" How does ho feel He feels Wanted It. Travers I got so well acquainted with blue, a deep. dark, unfadine. dved- a girl at Block island this year that when p-the-wool, eternal blue, and he 1 was going away she offered to pack my trunk. Kansas State Jlssoelatioii -SCHOOL OF Drawing, Painting, Modeling, MECHANICAL DRAWING and CHINA PAINTING.

6th Season, 1891-2. The School will re-open on Monday, Sept. 21, 1891, in the Crawford Jackson and 5th sts.f Topeka, Kansas. NEW EQUIPMENT. ADDITIONAL TEACHERS.

Special rates to pupils who come to the school from outside of Shawnee county. PROF. GEO. E- HOPKINS, Principal, Crawford Building, MISS LOU MATTOON and MISS KATHARINE WHITING Assistants, MISS KATHARINE EVANS, Instructor in China Painting day we first met you here in this office, and when you became a member of our staff. You said then that yoa shrank from publicity.

You have been in the shrinking business ever since. You had been pointed outto us by our foreman, and we still recall your appearance as you sat there in our revolving chair with the Rind sunlight shimmering through your asparagus whiskers. You even then wore that same old bunch August Flower the Remedy. Dashaway How fortunate! Did you let her? How does he feel? He feels a Travers No. The hotel objected.

headache, generally dull and con yon are a little off in regards to that." And sometimes when it was as much as a man's life was worth to stand np for your paper I would stand up for it. The reference to me and the doings which was had at my house was scurrilous in the extreme. We had in every regard what might be called a rattling time, and for you to attack it and make It a personal matter was, to me, most painful, and 1 think to be real low, as also does all those with which 1 nave been thrown into contact with since the Issue of your paper. 1 hate to be all the time In print and see my name before the people, and it has been such a little while Clothier and Furnisher. stant, but sometimes excruciating august lower xne Kemeay.

Knowledge Costs Money. Irate Patron See here, sir, I dropped How does he feel? He feels a a nickel into this machine and nothing came out. violent hiccoughing or jumping of the stomach after a meal, raisin er grass beard instead of a necktie, and the hornets built their nests Agent If nothing came out that shows bitter-tasting matter or what he has it's empty. eaten or drunk August Flower the Remedy. FOB CIECULAKS OR INFORMATION, APPLY TO PROF.

HOrKIS, SEYMOUR DAVIS, Architect, Instructor in Mechanical Drawing, "But what do I get for my nickel?" "Information." Good News. in it every spring. It used to delight our then devil to come upon you suddenly and scare a rabbit out of your whiskers. Corun aireto ant distn feotlvo the office. How does he feel? He feels across the first page in red ink for six dollars.

Set Right. "Yes, Mr. Flagg," said the father So now, if you will print this letter as a sort of introduction to the gradual decay of vital nower: dum. We do bet see that You also wore a little he feels miserable, melancholv. warmly, "you are a man after my own we need you, Mr.

RRTR peachstone charm in heart." ROOM OAK the form of a basket hopeless, and longs for death and peace August Flower the Rem Meltz. Another man has been raised up to "Excuse me, Mr. Joblots," said the on your watch chain. MJJJLU take your place. The chain was made edy.

tion, ana we will reluna money to anyone who fails to find them as represented. Send for full description of these works. by one of your deserted young man with dignity, "but you are mistaken; I am after your daughter's." Baltimore American. Mr. Meltz claims to How does he feel -He feels so write the purest Eng wives.

was made of horsehair, and was as pliable as an iron a well worded apology, you will not only stand better in the community, but you will avoid a lawsuit and a very untidy death-Please print this on the editorial page, and I will be up there at 3 o'clock to look over the proofs for typograph-4 ical errors. So no more at present, air. Respectfully, Corundum J. Meltz. lish of any one con $16.00 AMD UP.

GEORGE ELIOT'S WORKS, 6 vols ii- mi rillll'L-l'DlVU WftUUfi Ifl vnlfl full after eating a meal that he can hardly walk August Flower the nected with the press bridge. No Use la That. After that we met VciIARLtS DICKENS WORKS, 13 volt, TsIX GREAT BOOK SERIES, 6 in the United States, and is the author of Td like to go away for the rest of the Remedy. Leo 2.00 2.94 1.23 1.20 1. 1.50 1.23 you on the street during a thunder shower.

week, sir," said the tired bookkeeper. PARLOR SETS $25.00 AND UP. the astounding headline over the murder of an old lady: "Drug LEATHER STOCKING TALES, 1 AM MOTH CYCLOPEDIA. 4 vol FAMOUS MSriON SERIES, 10 ESTHER, THE GENTILE G. G.

GREEN, Sole Manufacturer, Woodbury, New Jersey, U. S. A. "There is no need for you to do that, lou explained to ns your idea of Divine wrath while you replied the employer. here and from her bed and stuck with a stab knife.

the rest of the week will come to you. New York Sun. THOMPSON I am glad to know that he is doing well, and 6S6 Kan. Ave, We Take Pleasure nooKea -us with your forefinger in our buttonhole and held an umbrella over yourself that he has not missed an editorial excursion in sixteen years. Not His Own.

Since 1 appeared In these columns in the capacity of a contributor, asking for a portion of your space for the purpose of thanking my many friends who bad douesomuch to make the last illness of my wife a success. As I say, 1 dislike to be constantly before the people in the light of a contributor, but when the leading paper of our town sours on my ice cream and attacks my motives, as I said, I think it is time to call a halt. i have lived in this place now, boy and man, for over seven years, and I have yet to know of any paper ever before speaking an unkind word regarding my coarse of conduct. It was my Idea to have a good time on my own rounds, and to do all could to make it a access, and I tpoke to yon about sending down a man to write it up more as a Joke than anything else. When he says that By motives and my ice cream were both adulterated, he does me a with the other so that In calling your Dr.

Surgens In my business several one of the points took examinations are required every year. us Just below the bosom. We can still TOPEKA STEAM LAUNDRY Air. btranger Civil service? Dr. Surgens-No, post mortem.

Low remember what a cold rain it was, and how ell Citizen. THE MOST COMPLETE- cmuy it ieit on our Her Preference. stomach. MM. -IN THE WEST.

He I hope that you'll not be afraid if We remember that your first idea regard-tng' business was to I take my gun along in our stroll this 1 fc afternoon? print in our paper one jn, aeari tint nope it a pop -at We see that all clothing is prop-; erly mended and make a moderate charge for same. short advertisement regarding a remedy which could be used at i It II gun. ew York Sun. home, and which yoa attention to our assortment of fine writing papers, believing that it contains the most perfect papers made. With surfaces varied to suit any hand or pen We carry in stock all the popular styles and sizes, "with envelopes to match, for ladies' and gentlemen's polite correspondence.

FRAHKlOBART, said would catch Ati Accomplished Pianist. The Perfect Man. His trousers are immaculate. No bag disturbs their faultless knees: The pattern, too. is up to date.

And always just the one to please. His coat is simply "out of sight," No wrinkle, bulge or crease appears; The collar sits exactly right. No "Jumping tail" its beauty "Queers." His waistcoat is the proper thing. His linen and his four-in-hand: The gauntlet to Perfection fling. His figure what the girls call "grand.

He has a weak but pretty "phiz;" He ne'er was known to dissipate? And this exquisite mortal is The fellow in the Fashion Plate. good many suckers. He Miss De Capo plays with so much especially young folks Write for Agency. feelin Special Offer. A United States Map and politio chart with Kassas Weekly Capital o.

year for $1.80. Premium Offer. How to Oat tlbrftrj Wlthoat gpeadla Any Moaey. The Kansas Weekly Capital should be read on every farm in Kansas. Clubs are being formed all the time and if yoa will go to work yoa can in a short tim earn all the books offered below.

Ask your friend to help you out by subscribing for the best paper in the state. Tt any one who will go to work, we make the following offer: For a club of three subscribers si LOO each. George Eliot's Works, 6 vols. For a club of four subscribers at fLOC Thackeray's Works, 10 Neely's Political Map. For a club of subscribers at 11.00 eacb, Dickens' works, 15 volumes.

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Sample copy of the Kansas Wkkli Capital and descriptions of works offered above sent free to any address. Twnui Money for paper and premiums must accompany all orders. Remittances can be made at our risk by bank draft, post-office or zpresa order, or registered letter. Address THE TOPEKA CAPITAL and country people. Do you remember 1 BTPTPY MvinTPT1 for the notes.

New York great injury, after eat- that? She Yea, Sun. Jug what I thought was Do you remember how we had a concert William Barclay Dunham in Clothier and Indecision. I've decided I shall marry. Only I'm so hard to please: Twist two maidens fair 1 tarry. One is Wynnie.

one Louise. Both are pretty appellations. But by fashion disenthralled. In their intimate relations. xurnisher.

A Fascinating Creature. Touupf Bat rister I have got to cav a PRESCRIPTION Wynn and Lou they're of tea called. an ungodly amount of the same. But let me be brief. have been here in this rlace seven years, and belong to everything that is worth belonging to.

When a man that amounts to anything is buried here you' will always see ne in some kind of Uniform following his remains, or mayhap as a pallbearer. I have a larger and better record as a pallbearer than most any other man with so faw advantages as I have. visit to the wife of Judge can von for the fresh air fund and asked you to loan us your cabinet organ, and how you said certainly, aa how we got a dray and paid four dollars to move it to the hall and four dollars to move it back, and how we had to move it to a different house, as yoa had moved in the meantime, and had got as to move your cabinet orgaa for yoa at eight dollars, and when we tried to play on it at the hall we found, that Bat a quandary I'm in. then. DRUGGIST.

500 V. Tenth St Should 1 win Wynn's heart, you see. tell me what sort of a person she is? Attorney Ahl A roost amiable lady, of such engaging manners, in fact, that when you have chatted with her for half 'oe ton snouia Lou's I win, then fa tnoronb. practical, progrres-Cfv, fystcmAtlc. succossfal, complete; bastneeft-tralnlnff Kbool.

lose ynn's which shall it be? -Very hard it is. this choosing: Lou's I win. or Wynn I lose. Names like those are so confusing. I'm uncertain which to choose.

an nouryourwiU be so bewitched that you will ther and then propose for one of her daughters. Humoristische Blatter. A Handsome Complexion Is one of the greatest charms a 'woman can possess. Pououi's Complexion Powder gives it. ethnographer or practical boofc- keeper.

A bailaess-praotlc tfepart-I men tnrongnoBt toe year In bo'ic I book-kepia and northanl. Boanj I and room $5.60 per weet Catalona 9tu gpadman oC pwamanthlp txe London Vanity Fair. ana US Qplacj St. Topata, Saaaaa. ').