The Miami Herald from Miami, Florida • 137

Monday April 17 1989 The Miami Herald International Edition 11B ISTARTlURaflDVIC 2 Alonso breaks the mold on One of the Boys He plumbed books hardware stores for handy knowledge also showed me the difference between wrenches Manager Paul Costley and John Alien Jr of Sears' Hardware on Bird Road took turns giving me pointers on tools and a clerk at Builders Square gave me tips on sheVing Rssd up The books you find at garage sales will do you more good than the rusty tools Your local library also offers a range of advice books Some helpful titles: Tune-Life Complete Home Repair Manual (Time-Life $2495) (Time-Life also has a series of books for specific home-repair projects) Home Repair Handbook (Sunset Books $995 paperback) and Reader's Digest Complete Do-It-Yourself Manual Digest $2195) The librarians also suggest you look under subtitles for your specific interest such as carpentry masonry plumbing or painting FLOYD JETT Heed the hardware advice about using high-quality tools Some of their recommendations for a start-up repair kit Don't buy cheap toots even hand tools For example you should spend $8 to $10 for good long-nose pliers (they're called long-nose because of the long pointed ends that can reach into tight spaces) Avod the cheapiee you can buy in housewares departments of grocery stores and drug stores Rely on hardware stores do-it-yourself emporiums such as Builders Square and Home Depot or department stores Buy tools with established brand names Just ask It was a humbling experience to ask a hardware clerk the difference between a bit and a drill Colin Healy assistant manager of Thrift-T-Hardware in South Miami patiently explained that the bit goes in the drill and sticks out in front to cut holes He I have installed locks and doorknobs And I put in a shelf I spackled (repaired minor holes in the walls) and painted the living room kitchen and hallway fixed a commode stopped all the doors from squeaking installed sockets and switches and rescreened a large Florida room I fixed a lamp and put a new cord on a TV set and resurrected an outside antenna I put together a table and fixed a bookcase The locks and doorknobs were tricky but I found the instructions on the back of the packages complete The clogged commode was cleared with a snake or auger although I managed to etch some unsightly scratches in the bottom of the bowl I later discovered that a "closet with its sleevelike plastic fitting helps prevent scarring Squirts of WD-40 stopped all the doors from squeaking and smoothed the path for the rails of the glass sliding doors The screening was my biggest challenge Screening an inexpensive spline tool (which amounts to a handle with small wheels at either end) long-nose pliers to extract the old spline and a utility knife to cut the screening itself were all the tools I needed HANDYMAN from 14B pairs around my house myself I bought a worn copy of Better Homes and Gardens Book which was languishing at the same table Next I paid $2 for a couple of rusty screwdrivers and a pair of pliers and spent the rest of the day haunting garage sales to find more tool bargains while a skeptical Linda looked on Her skepticism was valid I later discovered that old rusty tools cause more problems than they fix I persevered I knew I would never be a licensed plumber electrician or carpenter and I would still have to rely on air conditioning repairmen for most jobs but I became engrossed in my new hobby After I had read the books I talked to a few hardware clerks who by the way are unsung heroes to us novice handymen There were the expected false starts I had to get a real plumber to undo a bathroom sink job I botched I also screwed up the dishwasher But in the case of the bathroom sink I lacked the proper tool and skill: a soldering iron which I have yet to master But with the aid of fix-it books and clerks there has been progress you look silly toss your tools through the damned screen The workers always made sure to have excess screen then trimmed it neatly around the edges with utility knives I did the same thing Once I realized that a repairman swaggering through the house with his tool belt riding low John Wayne style had not been born with all his knowledge that it was learned then I knew I could learn too But I think ask Bud about that air conditioner I learned the technique by watching some professional screeners at work Before tackling the job they first secured the top of the screen in the frame and then pulled it downward maintaining a slight tension before inserting the screen into the frame at the bottom Then they did one side and then the opposite side You could insert one side and then the other instead of the top and then the bottom but if you try to do the top (or bottom) and next a side lose control and the screening will flap around your head and make By JUAN CARLOS COTO Henild Entertainment Writer Maria Conchita Alonso has been plugging away in Hollywood for five years most notably in Moscow on the Hudson (her movie debut) The Running Man and Colors But the superstardom she has enjoyed in Latin America for years a result of four films 10 soap operas and two Grammy-nominated albums translated to the English-language market She hopes her new NBC sitcom will change that In One of the Boys which NBC previewed Saturday night Alonso stars as a Hispanic immigrant who chases the American Dream to Queens The show moves next Saturday to 8 pm replacing the hiatus-bound 227 showing something here a little bit Alonso says Her role is obviously autobiographical the name is Maria Conchita Navarro but goes against traditional Hispanic portrayals In other words not a maid and she speaks English "This girl is says Alonso Latins are portrayed as maids or people who have a background and are all coo-chy-coochy you know what I mean" Therefore Navarro a Venezuelan immigrant (the Cuban-born Alonso was reared in Venezuela by her exiled parents) comes from a well-to-do family but refuses their help because she wants to make it on her own in el norte Tired of the dead-end waitress job she lands Navarro is hired to keep the books at a construction firm headed by Mike Lukowski (Robert Clohessy) a widower with three sons Mike and Maria fall hammer over nail for each other and in a twist on the the Boss? formula she moves in to help rear the boys "Then the craziness Alonso promises Luke (Michael Deluise son) 20 the macho stud Steve (Billy Morrissette) 18 the and and Nick (Justin Whalin) 13 the well-mannered Alex Keaton wan-na-be So far it sounds like a retooling of I Married Dora short-lived 1987 sitcom about a Central American maid who marries her boss to stay in the country But the hook in that show the when-are-they-getting-into-bed question the same in One of the Boys By the second episode Flamenco blues jdance to same tune Maria Conchita Alonso Mike and Maria are in love and moving in Alonso long resisted American TV because movies were keeping her busy Better opportunity and creative control changed her mind of the Boys is just going to help me get more roles that I like for she says Alonso who lives in Los Angeles but keeps a home in Miami begins work on an English-language LP in May and will star this year with Nicolas Cage and Jennifer Beals in the black comedy Vampire's Kiss also co-owner (with Police drummer Stewart Copeland) of in the Grove a nightclub in Coconut Grove But not enough want my own says Alonso who adds Cage to a list of co-stars that includes Sean Penn Robin Williams Michael Keaton and Arnold Schwarzenegger Her desire for more central roles was reinforced when five of her scenes were left out of Colors was never told I was going to be cut out so But it only made her work harder Alonso refuses adamantly to fall back on discrimination as a reason for fewer star possibilities Hispanic actors "are just making when they cite discrimination she says the beginning I was rejected many times but I rejected because I was Latin They wanted somebody fatter or skinnier or with green eyes take rejection You have to fight Shut up eat your pride and your ego and go for Either that or become One of the Boys not hard to hear the similarities in the music The African origin of the syncopation is clear laboration is developing more as collage rather than as movement discovered together The exception is the close collaboration between Renee Rich Bratcher the only tapper in group and Alonso Side by side facing intently into the mirror they play with translating flamenco rhythms into the loose body language creating movements that sound rhythmically the same but look entirely different The form is a challenge First Alonso stamps beating out a complicated syncopation underneath her proudly arched back Then Rich Bratcher shuffles slouching over her feet swinging her elbows a little echoing the rhythm exactly in a higher register a cramp exclaims Rich Bratcher naming one of the flamenco steps in language And Alonso answers: ably stole it from an American are based within a rhythmic structure In flamenco the dancer can change the rhythm by the musicians with a movement cue In blues the singer or soloist can go off on long melodic tangents as long as he or she returns to the final expected chord on time Practicing in the studio big voice struggles to learn the exotic cadence of a flamenco chant sometimes overpowering the more-ethereal voice of Serrano a Spanish gypsy They have little language in common except music She sings the wrong note Patiently he does it again She pokes him in the ribs and their eyes connect in laughter communicate We get it Day says The dance collaboration has been harder to achieve Flamenco and blues artists being night people and 12 young dancers being day people it has been difficult trying to schedule rehearsals for the collaboration Alonso said While the musicians have been working to blend their sound the dance col CROSSOVER from 14B nacular of black social dancing why I chose the blues rather than straight jazz" The Ballet Flamenco La Rosa and Freddick Bratcher Dance Company showed the fruits of their collaboration at concerts Saturday and Sunday at Miami Colony Theater Other pieces were be performed independently by both companies but the center work Crossover Blues (or TonosAzules laced together the dancing with the voices of Day and flamenco singer Antonio Serrano the instruments of Cortez Yugoslav gypsy drummer Seido Salifoski jazz guitarist Simon Salz and acoustic bass player Michael Bocchichio The companies received a $5000 grant to fund the project from the Dade Community Foundation through a program called Miami Art Bridge had a really great time working with the said Helena Alonso Born in Coral Gables as Lynn Paisley Alonso skipped her high school graduation to attend a concert by flamenco great Jose Molina and never looked back Flamenco dancers think of themselves percussionists as well as Alonso said learned a lot about the blues from a musical aspect rather than a dance aspect" not hard to hear the similarities in the music The African origin of the syncopation is clear filtered through the Moorish influence on flamenco and the Western African drumming in the guts of American jazz In fact both flamenco and blues You can appeal an IRS audit i 1 i it tfl 5 These special exercises get old pretty quickly i I jury and claims court is great for high-profile taxpayers who want to avoid publicity Ullman said If you win you get back your money with interest If you lose or give up at any step along the way have to pay the extra tax along with any interest or penalties Though the IRS will want you to pay in full you can usually work out an installment plan if you have the money Sometimes the IRS will deduct payments from from your weekly paycheck If you stick your head in the sand the IRS will surely come after you The IRS can put a lien on your house your car and any other valuable assets If you pay the lien the IRS will sell these assets to collect the money you owe possibly wiping out any equity you had in the property And think of filing for bankruptcy: IRS debts are difficult to shed and they can trail you around for the rest of your life There are a few things the IRS take away: a limited amount of personal belongings unemployment compensation and certain pension benefits and court-ordered child support payments You also get to keep $75 a week in wages salary or other income plus $25 for each dependent IRS can seize any asset you have and sell Ullman said not going to throw you and your children out on the street" THE LAW AND YOU from 14B nuses If you go to Tax Court your case will be heard by a judge who is knowledgeable about the tax laws In addition you have to pay the tax the IRS says you owe until after the case is over If you feel your case is strong enough you can go directly to Tax Court and skip the in-house appeals process The court is located in Washington but tax court judges frequently travel to hear cases in other cities Taxpayers with big-dollar tax cases often hire a lawyer to represent them But the Tax Court also has a small claims division for disputes that involve $10000 or less The rules are less formal and taxpayers are encouraged to argue the case themselves If you like the ruling you can appeal it to the nearest US Circuit Court (South Florida taxpayers would file their cases in Atlanta) and from there to the US Supreme Court If you lose in Tax Court you will not only have to pay the tax but also the back interest You can stop the interest clock if you pay the tax first and then sue the IRS for a refund You can do this either in your local district court or in the federal claims court in Washington Though the judges there may not be as savvy about the tax laws district courts let you argue your case before a gatta I gasped as I rowed air vigorously having a gasped a man on the station platform It was extremely embarrassing for a while what with all those people holding me down and urging me to keep still until the ambulance arrived Despite my protests the ambulance crew said have to bill me for the false alarm A few days later in the office I realized I had been sitting at my word processor for hours so that my posterior was numb Another easy do-it-at-your-desk exercise came to mind: with heels high toes on floor and tucked in toward chair Stretch out left knee as far as possible while pushing heel forward and drawing toe as far toward you as possible Return to original position Repeat with right Right with both legs while stretching one arm to the front palm up With other hand pull back the fingers of your extended hand Hold this stretch for a count of As I extended one arm to the front and began to bend down my fingers keeping both knees out and my heels forward I noticed the Chief Executive Deputy Associate Boss looking at me with some alarm he said gently you take a few minutes to go see the company shrink I mean the human resources counselor" I was not discouraged That night waiting for the restaurant waiter to remove my plate I put the moment to good use I said recalling the instructions for an exercise called the shoulder roll as I remain seated my shoulders describe large circles forward and Just as it dawned on me that the exercise was reminiscent of a dance step I used to do called the Funky Chicken I saw the waiter running toward me shouting: choking on his I rose in panic clutching my napkin convulsively to my chest I shouted back the Funky choking on his yelled the waiter He whacked me on the back grabbed me in a bear hug and pounded my sternum with his fist By the time I could explain somewhat apologetically his efforts had popped open my shirtfront and my ribs felt as though gone three falls out of four with Hulk Hogan I felt constrained to leave a generous tip of course and I promised the waiter send him a bonus a list of exercises that would keep him from getting old before his time When I got to work I found that my employer had deposited a health and fitness brochure in my mailbox The headline on its cover said: Are You Growing Old Before Your Time? I said Opening a newspaper I read a headline that said: Love Handles Aren Lovable! you talking to I said absently pinching my fat bellies and love handles are more hazardous to the heart than thunder thighs and super the story said more dangerous to have fat at or above the waistline than below says the American Heart Association" When I got home that evening I found that the only mail I had received was Modern Maturity magazine The TV news informed me of a Louis Harris poll indicating that stress afflicts 89 percent of all adult Americans Well it was nice to be in the majority but I need" I decided an easy method to slow aging melt fat and ease So I rummaged around and found an article on easy exercises that would tone up love handles and reduce stress reduce it said aside a certain time each day to think about things that are troubling That was easy I already have a certain time each day to think about things that are troubling me 4 am Then it described stress- and fat-reducing exercises you can do anytime anywhere without any special equipment while waiting for a bus sitting at your desk or looking at old magazines in the waiting room I vowed to make use of my new health and fitness knowledge As it happened the next day I had reason to park my car and ride Metrorail As I sat on a bench waiting for the train one of the exercises came to mind Boat Row: To do imaginary boat row while sitting stretch arms forward and bend upper body forward for a rowing Piece of cake the forward part of the feet" OK I could handle that down the toes draw in the arms and at the same time move the body backward Repeat for one to three I began rowing as though I heard a megaphoned encouragement at a Thames River re woftlft) MS a mo dlSfiDOim Eljc iifiamt Hcralti Have brunch with Tropic our award winning magazine all about South Florida personalities and places with some of the best writing and photography around i 4 The Miami Herald International Edition St 'J.