The Charlotte News from Charlotte, North Carolina • 12

1THE CHARLOTTE NEWS ROTi MALL Preftdrnt and rubinher STEWART SPENCER Editor TOM BRADFURY Aoccth Erbtor KENT BERN FIARD Managing EdItor ROBERT SUARE Genetal Mrtnager MONDAY APRIL 3 191a Stop talking about traffic Traffic in Charlotte is a lot like the weather Everyone talks about it but to little effect It was one of the most-complained about problems in our What's Wrong campaign last fall It generates 300 to 400 complaints a month to the city's traffic engineering office But as John Vaughan's story on Page I A demonstrates doing something about traffic is another matter It's not that the city doesn't try It investigates all complaints It works with neighborhoods on traffic studies It posts signs paints lines installs lights even tries such new ideas tl discourage traffic as rumble-strips and barricades Some of it works to a degree Signs signals and enforcement may slow raffle or ease congestion But a lot of it doesn't The rumble strips on Country Club failed they're being removed Complaints continue from other streets that received city attention And traffic engineers continue to look for new devices to tame the flow of traffic: Five new people are at work for example under the city's new policy of seeking solutions to neighborhood problems with cut-through traffic The engineers get the blame when solutions fail But the truth is it is not their fault They're not the ones who build new subdivisions designed to have the same old problems of speeding and cut-through traffic They're not the ones who plan for residential streets to become thoroughfares And they're certainly not the ones who block the development of thoroughfares to relieve neighborhood streets Double standard on Publishers' Row Some folks are upset over 1 Lippincott Co's publication of a purportedly factual book about the successful production of a cloned human baby It seems that the book was not submitted to any scientific advisory panel The publishers just took the word of author David Rorvik as to the truth of the material And that say the critics will do terrible things to the reputation of the publishing industry Says one such alarmist for example: "Even if proof comes forward that Rorvik didn't make the whole thing up Lippincott is still stuck with having put a blot on publisher respectability The messy question of responsibility for the goods being presented for sale for their quality and authenticity hangs in the air like a radioactive cloud" 1The Ivory Tower I 'And allow me to further state The Congressional Record the official record of debate and proceedings of the Congress of the United States of America allows congressmen to insert bits and pieces into the Record that were actually never spoken on the floor of the House or Senate The justfication for this is lost in the mists of history What it has turned into is a way for a congressman to let the folks back home know he's thinking of them Here's just a sampling of what some congressmen have felt worthy of including at taxpayer expense in the Congressional Record in recent weeks: Sen Thomas McIntyre's tribute to Richard Potter (1783-Ig35) America's first native magician Rep Douglas Applegate's glowing tribute to the Jefferson County (-Ohio) Technical Institute for winning the Ohio Technical College Athletic Association state championship Rep Norman Mineta's deeply moving commmentary on the retirement of San Jose (Calif) Fire Chief John Gerhard Rep Thomas Foley's praise of the Walla Walla County Extension Homemaker's Council for having "taken the initiative in providing leadership in active programs that will emphasize the strong reawakening of public interest in the craft of quiltmaking" Rep Joseph Addabbo's noting with pride the establishment of John and Yorka Linakis Brotherhood Sunday in Queens Rep Douglas Walgren's impassioned appeal for restoration of independence to Estonia Encomiums from a number of senators and representatives honoring Byelorussian Independence Day Not to be outdone Rep Jack Hightower's pean to the I42nd anniversary of the Texas Declaration of Independence Sen Abraham Ribicoff's touching of all cthnic bases back home with an appeal for independence for Estonia Lithuania and Byelorussia Ile tlidn't mention Texas Sen Ilarrison Schmitt's reprinting of articles about "Calcium Isotopic Anamolies in the Allende Meteorite" and "Barium and Neodymium Isotopic Anomalies in the Allende Meteorite" Schmitt it should be pointed uut is a former astronaut Four pages of very small print from Sen Patrick Leahy a reprint of tot article on "Meteorites: Clues to the Early History of the Solar Sys An Editorial TOM BRADBURY Associate Editor It is fine and necessary for traffic engineers and others to work to solve the problems that result from yesterday's mistakes But it would also be well for planners and officials each time they see plans for a new development to ask what is being done to insure that it won't have exactly the same problems tomorrow Extend free fare A men to the recommendation to extend the midday free-fare bus zone to Central Piedmont Community College It is a small step but one that will strengthen the ties between the college community and downtown to the benefit of both The no-fare program itself is the kind of thing that can strengthen downtown It gives pedestrians the range of motorists but frees them from the hassles of parking That makes downtown more accessible and convenient and therefore more attractive And it's doing it for 600 free riders a day As the area develops further and the demand warrants it the city ought to extend the shuttle concept even at a small fee to side streets now bypassed One would never guess from that that he is talking about precisely the same industry that published the works of such luminaries as Charles Colson HR Haldeman and Richard Nixon Frankly we think another commentator has a better grasp of the issue: "Sure publishers have a responsibility but they never exercise it so why pick on this case? Countless reams of misinformation are published Look at the New York Times best-seller list: Do you think any of the publishers stand behind the claims of their authors? Commercial publishing has a totally different tradition than scientific publishing: They publish whatever crap they think will sell" 'ctontircssional 'Rccorti i t1 It LXl ENSI( )NS oF IMAR KS NI II I ANTI tem" Leahy is not a former astronaut He apparently just likes meteorites Rep Robert Lagomarsino's proud recognition of the 75th Diamond Jubilee of the Oxnard Council No 750 of the Knights of Columbus Rep Ronald A Sarasin's noting of the accomplishments of the Trumbull (Conn) High School Golden Eagles Marching Band in being chosen to participate in the Cherry Blossom Festival Competition Sen Edmund Muskie's seven-page reprinting of the entire transcript of President Carter's town meeting in Bangor Maine including the probing question: "Mr President do you get dizzy flying in Air Force One?" Rep Harold Volkmer's devoting of six inches of taxpayers' space to wish happy 15th birthday to Ray Hamlett of Ladonia Mo Rep Harold Johnson's noting that Haden Adams of Chico Calif had been named the "Most World-Minded Citizen" by the General Douglas MacArthur Scholarship Committee Sen Walter Iluddleston's declaration that his state of Kentucky is the TB A cosmic diamond in the rough world By GEORGE WILL WASHINGTON When last I addressed the subject of baseball the lark was on the wing the snail was on the thorn and my Chicago Cuhs 'ere in first place That was last June The lark and snail had good seasons but the Cubs foundered Now several sadists have called my attention to the fact that another season is at hand and they have dared me to say something cheerful That is a daunting challenge but if the challengers had done their homework in the Will family archives they would have known that we are a family rarely daunted So here goes a cheerful thought: Not even practitioners as inartistic as the Cubs can spoil something as sublime as baseball To understand why this is so you should begin at the beginning of baseball and that does not mean Abner Doubleday Doubleday who was a captain of artillery in the Union Army at Fort Sumter was present at the creation of the Civil War but not of baseball His New York Times obituary did not even mention baseball Such is the power of myth baseball's 'Hall of Fame is at Cooperstown NY because Doubleday was a schoolboy there Nevertheless the hall does contain a plaque honoring the one American whose achievements of mind rank with those of Aristotle Newton Hegel and Einstein I refer of course to Alexander Cartwright whose middle name was appropriately Joy On the plaque the list of his accomplishments begins: "Set bases 90 feet apart" In 1845 Cartwright then 25 joined some friends in a meadow beside a Manhattan pond He had a chart in hand Red Smith the columnist says the dimensions of the baseball field Cartwright laid out that day may have been determined by the size of the meadow or perhaps By ELLEN GOODMAN BOSTON 'the door to her daughter's loom closed with an exclusionary click leaving behind three pictures of Charlie's Angels two bumper stickers and a Magic Marker sign that read: "Do Not Come In This Means You" The two girls wanted privacy One last sentence had escaped the room like air from a can before it had been sealed "Do you think I'm fat?" one girl had asked the other From the kitchen the mother had shrieked "Good Gawd And so now she was left to stew The girls were not as you might expect teen-agers By then all conversations seem to be divided into three parts: weight hair and boys But these two were fourth-graders! They were nine going on fifteen Furthermore they were not (-hubbies They were hummingbirds They cartwheeled through life like gas guzzlers Basketball Capital of America and Rhode Island Sen John Chafee's one-upmanship in declaring his state to be the Basketball Kingdom of the East North Carolina's delegation was conspicuously silent on this issue Rep 1ohn Murphy's explanation of why he introduced a resolution calling for the creation of a "National Port Week" Rep James Weaver's explanation of why he introduced the "Silvicultura! and Renewable Resource Home Heating and Gasahol Motor Fuel Act of 1978" It took two pages Sen Strom Thurmond's page-anda-half reprinting of the dedication service of the new building for the Antioch Baptist Church in Columbia SC Rep Good loe Byron's tribute to the late Alvie 1Inglesbee of Baltimore president of tr-B-Y Trucking Co and a life member of the Order of the Moose And finally everybody's everybody's reprinting of their local winner's entry in the Veterans of Foreign Wars Voice of Democracy Contest I3013 COLVER Cartwright just stepped of I 30 paces and said "This seems about right" But Rod Smith the metaphysician says: "Ninety feet between bases represents man's closest aproach to absolute truth The world's fastest man cannot run to first base ahead of a sharply hit ball that is cleanly handled by an infielder: he will get there only half a step too late Let the fielder juggle the ball for one moment or delay his throw an instant and the runner will be safe Ninety feet demands perfection It accurately measures the cunning speed and finesse of the base stealer against the velocity of a thrown ball It dictates the placement of infielders That single dimension makes baseball a fine art and nobody knows for sure how it came to be" Perhaps baseball players are ciccasionally inclined to shght: the life of the mind (After being introduced to ErnriA Hemingway Yogi Berra said "Quite a fella What does he do?" "1-le's a writer" said a friend "Yeah?" said Yogi "What Rut baseball is the sport most satisfying to the mind perhaps because of its use of space and time Other sports are played in a strictly defined space like a basketball court or football field but baseball has what one writer (George (rella) calls "potential for infinity" Even foul halls are in play until they land in the stands and if you removed the stands the field of play would extend forever through 360 degrees The Republic the planet the universe would be an extended baseball field What a jolly idea! Even when confined by Chicago's Wrigley Field: Finite space for the infinite game Dieting: The new puberty rites of the 70s "The two lived in the land of Dieters where weight weighed heavily on people's minds like sin" they used up calories at a rate of 3000 an hour If they didn't idle at the stop signs long enough they would disappear The only excess weight they carried he Ween them was in their book bag And of course in their culture The two lived in the land of Dieters where weight weighed heavily on people's minds like sin They were surrounded by advice on how to lose pounds and find happiness They were told that gaining weight is like giving yourself acne a kind of do-it-yourself unpopularity By JACK ANDERSON WASHINGTON At considerable risk to his political neck President Carter hopes to limit the preferential treatment keterans -receive in applying for government jobs Aides have persuaded the President that veteran's priority has been squeezing out women and minorities from federal employment The proposed reduction in veterans benefits of course has brought an almighty howl from the powerful veterans lobby But a confidential White House memo which recently reached the President's desk convinced him that giving job preferencos to ex-servicemen some of whom left the military decades ago is blocking nearly everyone else from the federal payroll By law the memo explained veterans are given a five-point bonus on their Civil Service test scores on the theory that "those who served in times of war deserve special assistance in readjusting to civilian life" In reality even those veterans who served during peacetime are granted a "lifetime benefit" Consequently the memo declared veterans "block the top of most Civil Service registers This often creates severe problems for non-veteran but qualified candidates especially women" In Dallas for example a woman who scored 100 on an air traffic controller's test was ranked 147th behind veterans with preference If veterans had no special break she would have ranked seventh A female lawyer in Washington recently applied for a civilian job with the Defense Department Although she had more experience than most of the male prospects her application was promptly returned She was told she couldn't be considered They were informed r)11 all sides that obesity Was a lack of will power a psychiatric pmh tem a moral lapse The only thing the adults in their native land watched morn than their weight was their 'television sets inhabited of course by the emaciated Her niece had recently -told her in a x'ery matter-of-fact voice: "Elizabeth Taylor let herself go and now she's fat" They virtually all agreed that "fat is bad" They all rated strangers and friends on the scales of their disapproval without veteran's preference "In some areas such as San Diego" the White House memo said "retired military personnel are often the only individuals eligible for federal employment" There are about 140000 such "double dippers" retired servicemen who are collecting a military pension in addition to heir government salaries in he federal bureaucracy Yet they get first dibs on government jobs even if they left the military before World War The current law also hampers efforts to streamline the government Carter was advised When a military base is closed for example "the veteran's preference is absolute and allows him to 'bump' non-veterans including those with greater seniority" Punch f7) Vvi )' Fl If you removed the stands the field of play would extend forever through 360 degrees The Republic the planet the universe would be an extended baseball field What a jolly idea! fences and stands a baseball field is remarkably large Yogi who once said "you can observe a lot: just by watching" made this observation about playing outfield in the late afternoon: "Out there it gets late early" In baseball there is no clock and no tie game As Grella says "Baseball's unique freedom from any external time (means that) the game succeeds in creating a temporary timelessness perfectly appropriate to its richly cyclical nature" In theory a game could (and I am sure that in Heaven all games do) go on forever of course in this life all things must end even the best things baseball games But baseball games call to mind the title of a poem by Robert Frost: "Happiness Makes Up in Height for What it Lacks in Length" But now they had taken to checking each other for signs of creeping middle-aged flab It drove the woman berserk and in a frenzy she had driven the subject underground Today 14-year-olds xvere having sex and nine-year-olds were worring about weight Obsessions flow downhill The adults around them who were not actually dieting were at least considering it So the children had come to assume that fat was a grownup preoccupation Dieting had become a rite of passage to adult life It was the training bra of this generation The woman wanted to ride through the land screaming "Anorexia nervosa is coming!" She predicted an epidemic of adolescent self-starvation on the horizon She was totally convinced that an entire generation of children would hit thirteen and instead of wiring their teeth straight they would wire them shut As she was lantasizing the kvorst the door opened and the girls cart wheeled into the kitchen asking for ice cream The woman beamed She wanted to pour fudge sauce into their hands Perhaps they had a few good years left she thought scooping huge balls of mocha almond into their howls For one brief ecstatic moment she thought about joining them for a sundae Then she remembered She was on a diet Vets have lock on federal jobs the memo explained Many officials avoid ordering needed cutbacks therefore "because of the adverse impact on equal opportunity and affirmative action- gains" The President has now recommended that veterans who now constitute half the federal work force be given preferenc for only 10 years after discharge Footnote: A spokesman for the Veterans of Foreign Wars told my associate Howie Kurtz that "the White liouse is using veteran's preference as a scapegoat They haven't been getting enough women and minorities in government so they've got to blame it on something" Ile added that he expects Congress to kill the proposal 1 C) L---- I It (zNribAr THE CHARLOTTE NEWS A cosmic diamond in the rough world ROLI NULL Prefidrnt and By GEORGE WILL -4t "111111 I EWAR SPE NCER Editor TOM BRADBCRY ilocfelle Editor tL i WASHINGTON c- 2k0 t'40 ff-te KEN'I ER IARD Editor ROBIR1 St'ARE Geneiol Monage When last I addressed the -rk4Ak r' 4''''t I 4c 4 TtorTIyoi4 1 subject Of baseball the lark was 44 on the wing the snail was on -sstetszttrAs -sk 44 coll( 07m3 4 19R 3 s- MONDAY APRI I thorn and my Chicago Cuhs i he 4k7nst-- Nft It or St Were in first place That was 10--41 TA14114 ti IL last June Th lark and a i had i '00-'00's os-''-th-s-ii- good seasons but the Cubs "IIKAeltAJ 0 latieregni ti b' If you removed the Stop talki ng about traffiC foundered Now several sadists have called my attention to the stands the field of play fact that another season is at si T- hand and they have dared me to would extend forever 4 743A 1W'' Traffic in Charlotte is a lot like the 'it''''''''-- sa'T'hs'amt 1t hiiingacuhneteinrgl I cshallenge through 360 degrees to little effect 4 weather Everyone talks about it but An Editorial 0--Nt but if the challengers had done 4 1 4 It was one of the most complained 0 ir' xs: 1 The Republic the 1 their homework in the Will fam 04' '''''VW? xr04eis' ::0: ily archives they would have '14t'-1 planet the universe about problems in our What's Wrong i known that we are a family campaign last fall It generates 300 to TOM BRADBURY 3 1 rarely daunted So here goes a xtende 48 tx would be an ed 400 complaints a month to the city's Associate Editor cheerful thought: Not even practitioners as in- i': i' -1 i baseball field traffic engineering office artistic as the Cubs can spo What a jolly idea! il I 4 But as John Vaughan's story on It is fine and necessary for traffic )(awething as sublime as base i-2 -'t: A 0- 4 Page A demonstrates doing some- engineers and others to work to solve Its -4'w- thing about traffic is another matter i he problems that result from yester- 11S11u k't-? 74 To understand why this is so 44 lotii-I1 -ti s4tik i It's not that the city doesn't try It day's mistakes But it would also be you should begin at the begin- -Z- swt4" (L et 4tst's 4 ning of baseball and that does 4-- --104A1 40 investigates all complaints It works well for planners and officials each not mean Abner Doubleday i' 4 esieg 7 tb :1 41 A with neighborhoods on traffic studies time they see plans for a new devel- Doubleday who was a captain 411L'' 'ilk mi-r 4 4- 36 At40 e0 It posts signs paints lines installs opment to ask what is being done to of artillery in the Union Army at ''iiI4- 4 Atit4 416 -111441641-'4 lights even tries such new ideas tl dis- insure that it won't have exactly the Fort Sumter was present at the courage traffic as rumble-strips and same problems tomorrow creation of the Civil War but Chicago Alt rigley Field: Finite space for the infinite game barricades not of baseball His New York Some of it works to a degree Signs Times obituary did not (Wen Cartwright just stepped off 30 occasionally' inclined to slight fences and stands a basehati signals and enforcement may slow Extend free fare mention baseball Such is the paces and said "This seems the life of the mind (After heing field is remarkably large Yogi power of myth baseball's Hall about right" But Rod Smith the introduced to ilem who ho once said "you can observe I raffle or ease congestion But a lot of Amen to the recommendation to ex- of Fame is at Cooperstown melaPhYsician saYs: way Yogi Berra said "Quite a a lot just by 'watching" made it doesn't The rumble strips on Coun- tend the midday free-fare bus zone to NY because Doubleday was a "Ninety feet het (TM ININPS fella What does he do?" "He's a this observation about playing tr Club failed the being removed Central Piedmont Communit College schoolboy there represents ma n's closest ap- writer" said a friend "Yeah?" outfield in the late afternoon: y'e Nevertheless the hall does proach to absolute truth The said Yogi "What But "Out there it gets late early" Complaints t'ontinue from other streets It is a small step but one that wi ll contain a plaque honoring the world's fastest man cannot run baseball is the sport most sails- In baseball there is no clock that received city attention And traf- treny then the ties between the college one American whose achieve- to first base ahead of a sharply lying to the mind perhaps he a fic engineers continue to look for new community and downtown to the ben- ments of mind rank with those hit ball that is cleanly handled cause of its use of space an nd no tie ame As Grella says Baseball's unique freedom of Aristotle Newton Hegel and by an infielder he will get there time devices to tame the flow of traffic: efit of both Einstein I refer of course to only half a step too late Let the Other sports are played in a from any external time (means game cd at tei succeeds timelessness ci dwntown It gives pedestrians the rich problems sr range of motorists but frees them nr Five new people ire at work for ex- The no-fare program itself is the Alexander Cartwright whose fielder juggle the ball for one strictly defined space like a has that) ample under the city's new policy of kind of thing that can strengthen middle name was appropriately moment or delay his throw an ketball court or football field rilfgect alytemporary appropriate seeking solutions to neighborhood Joy On the plaque the list of instant and the runner will be but baseball has what one writ- rIei ccliCal re am In theory a game (and I sure that problems with cut-through traffic 11is et bas accomplishments begins: safe Ninety feet demands per- er (George Grella) calls "poten- I ycould es 90 feet apart" fection It accurately measures dal for infinity" Even foul balls The engineers get the blame when from the has sles of parking l'hat in Heaven all games do) go on In 1845 Cartwright then 25 the cunning speed and finesse are in play until they land in the -0 solutions fad But the truth is it is not makes downtown more accessible and joined some friends in a meadow of the base stealer against the stands and if you removed the 1 rever their fault They're not the ones who convenient and therefore more attrac- beside a Manhattan pond He velocity of a thrown ball It dic stands the field of play would Of course in this life all build new subdivisions designed to tive And it's doing it for 600 free rid- had a chart in hand Red Smith tates the placement of infielders extend forever through 360 de- things must end even the best the columnist says the dimen- That single dimension makes grees The Republic the planet things baseball games But have the same old problems of speed- ers a day SiOrIS of the baseball field Cart- baseball a fine art and no- the universe would be an ex- baseball games call to mind the ing and cut-through traffic They're As the area develops further and the Tight laid out that day may body knows for sure how it tended baseball field What a title of a poem by Robert Frost: not the ones who plan for residential demand warrants it the city ought to have been determined by the came to be" jolly idea! "Happiness Makes Up in Height streets to become thoroughfares And extend the shuttle concept even at a size of the meadow or perhaps Perhaps baseball players are Even when confined by for What it Lacks in Length" they're certainly not the ones who small fee to side streets now by-block tbe development of thorough- passed to fares to relieve neighborhood reets st TX Dieting: The new puberty rites of the 70s Doubie standard on Publishers' Row By ELLEN GOODMAN 41 06iy I Mit now they had taken to Irk 't 1 clecking each other for signs of 1 130STON :4: 44 ik 1 IP'' i4- i '14' :16 creeping middle-aged flab It 1 'e- the woman berserk and drove The door to her daughter's i 'It' Some folks are upset over Lip- One would nev es er gut fro tl 11 loom closed with an exclusio- 1 pincott Co's publication of a purport- that he is talking about precisely the nary click leaving behind three iv 4' f' she had driven the '1' 1 in a frenz 1 i- 1 1 subject underground Ji edly factual book about the successful same industry that published the pictures of Charlie's Angels two H' 4 01 1-k Today 14-year-olds were production of a cloned human baby It works of such luminaries as Charles bumper stickers and a Magic it' i having sex and nine-year-olds seems that the book was not submitted Colson IIR in and Richard Marker sign that read: "Do Not Itsvv i VIt ift AN were worring about eight Oh to an scientific advisory panel The Nixon Frankly we think another Come The In This girls Means wanted You" A A 1v it wf' sessions flow dovvnhill tvvo privacy liti 'r itiiii- I fst The adults around them who publishers just took the word of author commentator has a better grasp of the One last sentence had escaped I7l iii Itit104144: ii 14114t4 St0 vvere not actually dieting were at least considering it So the David Rorvik as to the truth of the ma- issue: the room like air from a can An: 11)i littirii likyttlyti tit 4011 -jv ttt before it had been sealed "Do sj 7: i- -t gt 41:" i 0 iJAA children had come to assume terial you think I'm fat?" one girl had Ii'-ht 104'4 1-' 11 4 utistsprii And that say the critics will do ter- "Sure publishers have a responsibil asked the other From the kitch- 41t Of i4egSAr4'-'3 41: that fat was a grownup preoccu- pation Dieting had become a rible things to the reputation of the ity but they never exercise it so vvhy ri'te of passag'e- to adult life It alarmist for example: misinformation are published Look at she was left to stew en the mother had shrieked ''''''''(4li: '7" 1r 4- -sk' 1 i --tti epli r) was the training bra of this gen- publishing industry Says one such pick on this case? Countless reams of "Good Gawd And so now 'e i 4 4A4? erat ion "Even if proof comes forward that the New York Times best-seller list: 'The girls were not as you 1 sp-4 might expect teen-agers By The woman wanted to ride Rorvik didn't make the whole thing Do you think any of the publishers then all conversations seem Co 'i' 44' 00''' through the land screaming Li 4 up Lippincott is still stuck with hay- stand behind the claims of their au- be divided into three parts: ri'''' le4J F' "Anorexia nervosa is coming!" ing put a blot on publisher respectabili thors? Commercial publihing has a weight hair and boys But these i 4--44i 'NO She predicted an epidemic of ad- ty The messy question of responsibili- totally different tradition thn a scientif- 1--i two were fourth-graders! They t''-(4 1 'l-'--- 7:7415 olescent self -starvation on the 4 A horizon She was totally con- were ty for the goods being presented for lc publishing: They publish whatever nine going on fifteen Furthermore they were riot The two lived in the land of wh ieters ere Weight weighed vinced that an entire generation sale for their quality and authenticity crap they think will sell" (-hobbies They SA ere humming- heavily on people's minds like sin" of children would hit thirteen hangs in the air like a radioactive birds They cartwheeled and instead of wiring their ClOtad" TR through life like gas guzzlers they used up calories at a rate of They were informed on all sides teeth straight they would wire 3000 an hour If they didn't idle that obesity vvas a lack of will them shut at the stop signs long enough power a psychiatric prob c-The Ivory Tower they would disappear tem a moral lapse As she yeas fantasizing the The only excess weight they The only thing the adults in kvorst the door opened and the I carried bet Ween them was in their native land watched more girls cart wheeled into the kitch- their book bag And of cour se than their weight as their tile- en asking for ice cream The I A nd allow me to further state 0 0 0 in their culture woman beamed She wanted to The two lived in I he land of vision sets llis 11 heema(1ihtectatiellai' of pour fudge sauce into their Dieters where v'eight weighed Her niece had recently told hands Perhaps they had a few The Congressional Record the of- heavily On people's minds like her in a very matter-of-fact good years left she thought ficial record of debate and proceed- sin They were surrounded by voice: "Elizabeth Taylor let scooping huge balls of mocha alings of the Congress of the United 'ts advice on how to lose pounds herself go and now she's fat" mond into their bowls States of America allows congress- Al and find happiness They were They virtually all agreed that For one brief ecstatic mo t---1 men to insert bits and pieces into the gicssion a 1 kccord told that gaining weight is like "fat is bad" They all rated ment she thought about joining Record that were actually never spo- giving yourself acne a kind of strangers and friends on the them for a sundae Then she re- ken on the floor of the House or Sen- do-it-yourself unpopularity scales of their disapproval membered She was on a diet 1 ate The justfication for this is lost in tVi FNSIONS in REMARKS the mists of history What it has turned into is a way for a congress- iioN kri nil Vets have lock on federal jobs man to let the folks back home know he's thinking of them Here's just a sampling of what some congressmen have felt worthy By JACK ANDERSON without veteran's preference the memo explained Many offi- "In some areas such as San cials avoid ordering needed cut- of including at taxpayer expense WASHINGTON At considerable risk to his politi- in the Congressional Record in re- IL- it said "retired military personnel the adverse impact on op- Diego" the White House memo backs therefore "because of cent weeks: 'fir- 1 cal neck President Carter hopes Thomas McIntyre's tribute to ment veterans -receive in apply- le al ern vment guns Richard Potter (1783-I35) Amer- lo" i igibl for federal to limit the preferential treat- are often the only individuals el- portunity and affirmative action en 1 gi ing for government jobs Aides There are about )40000 such The President has now recom- ca's first native magician tk that veteran's epdriotrhiety Phraessildweennt mended that veterans who now 1 41'lf- "double dippers retired servicemen who are collecting a constitute half the federal work tribute to the Jefferson County squeezing out women a Rep Douglas Applegate's glowing lil i )1) and mi military pension in addition to force be given preference fr (Ohio) Technical Institute for win- norities from federal employ- I heir govermnent Salaries in only 10 years after discharge 1 ning the Ohio Technical College Ath- i ment I he federal burealiCracy Yet Association state championship i The proposed reduction in )1 overn- hey get first dibs 1 l'' 00 I note: A spokesman for ment jobs eve if they left the the Veterans of Foreign WarS Rep Norman Mineta's deeply 7 'I1 veterans benefits of course has moving commmentary on the re- brought an almighty howl from military before World War II told my associate I iri Kurtz tirement of San lo se (Calif ire the povverful veterans' lobby s) ha 1 wrs that the White House is using Chief tr ohn Gerhard But a confidential White efforts ouse The current law al 1 41 Rep Thomas Foley's praise of the 4 memo which recently reached i ntctaorts Carter was advised vtihs(e? dgovvvehr When vgoe at etr arnh' se ypreference ha ven been getting sa oe- Walla Walla County Extension the President's desk convinced a military base is closed for ex- enough women and minorities omemaker's Council for having 4- ample the veteran him that giving job preferences preference got to pr erence I-oernment so they mi in I "taken the initiative in providing to ex icemen some of and allows him to blame it on something lie leadership in active programs that whom left the military decades will emphasize the strong reawaken- ago is blocking nearly everyone Isbuambps'oltnitoen -veterans including added that he expects Congress those with greater seniority" to kill the proposal ing of public interest in the craft of tem" Ieahv is not a former astro- Basketball Capital of America and else from the federal payroll quiltmaking" By law the memo explained naut Ile apparently just likes mete- Rhode Island Sen John Chafee's veterans are given a five-point Rep Joseph Addabbo's noting ()rites one-upmanship in declaring his state with pride the establishment of John Rep Robert Lagornarsino's to be the Basketball Kingdom of the bonus on their Civil Service test and Yorka Iinakis Brotherhood Sun- proud recognition of the 75th Di- East North Carolina's delegation scores on the theory that "those day in Queens amond Jubilee of the Oxnard Coon- was conspicuously silent on this who serve in times of war de- c7) Rep serve special assistance in read- Douglas Walgren's impas- cil No 750 of the Knights of Col- issue --7-- sioned appeal for restoration of inde- umbus Rep John Murphy's explanation justing to civilian life In real' ty those pendence to Estonia Rep Ronald A Sarasin's noting of of why he introduced a resolution even veterans who IN) served during peacetime are 7 -5 Encomiums from a number of sen- the accomplishments of the Trum- calling for the creation of a "Nation- granted a "lifetime benefit" ators and representatives honoring bull (Conn) High School Golden Ea- al Port Week" introdu 004) 7 of 3 eq Byelorussian Independence Day gles Marching Band in being chosen Rep James Weace ver's the expSilvicul- Consuentlythe memo de lanation clared veterans "block the top 0 cc Not to be outdone Rep Jack to participate in the Cherry Blossom whhe Ilightower's pean to the 142nd anni- Festival Competition tura! and Renewable Resource Home of most Civil Service registers versary of the Texas Declaration of Sen Edmund Muskie's seven-page This often creates severe prob eating and Gasahol Motor Fuel Act "-AA Independence reprinting of the entire transcript of of 1978" It took two pages 0---'-1 qualified candidates especially Sen Abraham Ribi lents for non-veteran but coff's touching President Carter's town meeting in Sen Strom Thurmond's page-and- of all ethnic bases back home omen with Bangor Maine including the probing a-half reprinting of the dedication In Dallas for example a a appeal for independence for Fsto- question: "Mr President do you get service of the ne building for the 71119 al?) ---0 wo IIN i nia an ithuania Byelorussia Ile dizzy flying in Air Force One?" Anti ocaptist Church in C'olum man who scored 100 on an bia lkOl i Air '1 didn't mention Texas Rep air traffic controller test was arold Volkmer's devoting SC L''' glianitill Sen Ilarrison Schmitt's reprinting of six inches of taxpayers' space to Rep Goodloe ranked 147th behind veterans yron's tribute to with preference If veterans had 1 of articles about "Calcium Isotopic wish happy 15th birthday to Ray the late Alvie Ungleshre of Bain- member have ranked seventh she would N5- I Anamolies in Allende Meteorite" Hamlett of Lacion tr ia Mo more president of -B-Y Truckin special break he and "Barium and Neodymium Iso- Rep Ilarold Johnson's noting Co and a life ber of the Order A female lawyer in Washing- topic Anomalies in the Allende Mete- that Ilarlen Adams of Chico of the Moose Schmitt it should be pointed Calif had been named the "Most And finally dy verybo's ton recently applied for a CiVil every- uut is a former astronaut World-Minded Citizen" by the Gen- body's ian job with the Defense Depart- eprinting of their local ment Although she had more Four pages of very small print eral Douglas MacArthur Scholarship winner's en try in the Veterans of --) sot article experience than most of the from Sen Patrick Leahy a reprint of Committee iluddleston declara Foreign Wars Voice of Democracy -7- 'A --ttt vit male prospects her application on "IvIeteorites: Clues to Sen Walter 's Contest 1 '-'1 '''ribt- 11741 was promptly returned She was 'A the Early History of the Solar Sys- thin that his state of Kentucky is the -130B COLVER told she couldn't be considered.