The Miami Herald from Miami, Florida • 36

JACK ANDERSON About Television Jack Kofoed Says Glamor Rubs Off These 2 Film Stars Cht Iitiami gtralh 8-B Monday July 1 1957 MerryWashington IMIIIMONWRZOMME100101MEOMPLARPOIM MReFMNPOMON41166011110ANNIMEIPOIal WENNIIMEMENIIM gtralh Jack Kofoed Says S-B 3tonday July 1 1957 MerryWashington Glailioi Rubs Off These 2 Film Stars TRFA3URY I What Can Bob Say About Mattress That He Hasn't Said? Want to Help? 1111 AND GA) pcR 14 r51-gPl4U 0 621zN 61') 1000 la ota Not140 CP 7--z rip 111111E t'0 LADIES AND Gentlemen: The meeting will come to or der We are gathered here this morning we disorganized television viewers to or ganiz We have a lot of k3-1 reasons for or- 14 ganizing but as temporary chairman I should like to propose one Just as a start- ANDERSON er something to get teeth into The chair ill entertain a LADIES The meeting der We are gi 'Int?" er WOMEN CAN BE WONDERFUL and also pains in the neck Beauty of face and body has nothing to do with beauty of spirit Two gorgeous dolls gained first page comment in recent days because they acted like Billingsgate fishwives Ava Gardner taking off by plane for Europe discovered her luggage had not arrived Any lady would be justifiably annoyed but the average one would have complained quietly Miss Gardner screamed and yelped Iler dissonant cries echoed throughout the airport Her theme was that nobody could make a fool of her Why should they? She did a fine job herself still boiling like a pot of tea Ava stormed off to the plane Told passengers were not yet permitted aboard she brushed everyone aside and climbed In anyway lIer boy friend of the moment an Italian comedian tried to smooth the star's ruffled feathers His reward was a sharp dressing down Unless too completely captivated by the Al pains has ment Eillin by had anno3 plain( the a rnake a fine off 4 Pem aside Ile earned leathe down WOMEN CAN BE WONDERFUL and also pains in the neck Beauty of face and body has nothing to do with beauty of spirit 'ruvi CArronng dolls rained first rare coin tr 'Happy New Fiscal Year everybody" Misspelling In Exams Zamora plaza de toros Jose had a bad afternoon and was judged so incompetent he was jailed for 10 days and fined 3000 pesetas The matador overcome by humiliation committed suicide Figure anything like that could happen to Duke Snider if he struck out with the bases filled? Tip Bliss once knew a writer of 'Western stories very successful though he had never been West of Central Park "All you need" the author said "is a cowboy a pretty eastern school teacher some Indians a sheriff who is either straight or crooked a barroom fight Then everybody gets on nags and rides like hell in all directions" That al course was before the birth of the "adult" horse opera We defeated the Japanese in war then coddled them gave them billions rehabilitating their economy Of late they have been screaming Tanks go home" John Foster Dulles who invents foreign policy from notes in a brief case while flying says he will have most of the boys back by Christmas It is to be assumed though that he wants William Girard in a Tap prison after the rest of the soldiers return to the United States JACQUES MELLOUL of Warren Freeman's Biscayne Travel Service speaks half a dozen languages and can tell you the best hotel in any city in the world He handles all details of the Miami Marlins' road trips which Ralph Stephens set up Fontainebleau golf pro George Astor exponent of the "delayed hip action" theory which has had great success brought his family to Our Town and will live here from now on out Sam Hirsch's next produclion at Dade County Auditorium is "Briga- doon" with Wilton Clary who was "Curly" In "Oklahoma" Roger King Mozians Deem click "Fire Below" is hook and platter waxcitement the sum rar sBoisidc4 laaupnnoyhgl of Ste! Zamora plaza de toros Jose had a bad after noon and was judged so incompetent he was Jailed for 10 days and fined 3000 pesetas The matador overcome by humiliation COM- -'0741Wfl vor Ah adopted unanimously There being no further business this meeting is adjourned but quick I think I hear the approach of angry feet belonging to a well known local tele vision crew-cut He has a homicidal glint in his eye 'NEWSCASTER Howard 13rown who parted company the other day with WTVJ (Ch 4) takes over his new post at WCKT (Ch 7) tonight He'll be doing its 11 pm news show Trains Get Tickets for Speeding to live with that mattress every Sunday night for all those weeks without eventually go ing nuts? FRIENDS I say we owe it to this boy to help him through those weeks ahead Let's get off those letters today This minute Address them to Bob Clayton WCKT Box Little River Station Miami 38 Fla Whaddaya1 rnean you can't think of any demonstration gimmicks? Why I can think of hundreds and I'll just pass on a few to stoke your By CARROLL ONES Here an ten of the words found to be most frequently How's misspelled on Civil Service Your examinations Do English? you know which are spelled con rectly and which 4 i14 -4- -t1 i' IZ7 (A" 47 011-: A 11 tll resolution mine to wit: 'Whereas Bob Clayton host of the MGM Theater at 9:30 Sunday nights on WCKT (Ch 7) is a Nery personable and popular guy 'Whereas MGM Theater Is entirely sponsored by a mattress company and this calls for frequent commercials devoted to the virtues of a mattress' 'Whereas this places tremendous strain on the demonstrative ingenuity of a Clayton in finding something 1 new and different to tell us about the said mattress be- 1 tween movie reels "Whereas this is a trying situation and might easily lead to his complete physical and mental collapse "Be It resolved that we the viewers write to the aforesaid Clayton and suggest new ways and means for demonstrating the surpassing values of the 1 aforesaid mattress" I so move this resolution Do I hear a second? I do! Fine There will now be a discussion 1 1 on the motion FRIENDS in all seriousness consider the dilemma of this movie host If the program had multiple sponsors his problem would be negligible But here he is with just one over-all 3 sponsor to concern himself with Ile has just one product a mattress and almost two I bours of intermittent sales pitches to deliver about it So far he has been devilishly ingenious He's lolled on the mattress in cowboy attire he's sat on it pummeled it with his fists kicked it shown us the resiliency of Its innards and of course talked endlessly about it This Is fine so far But WCKT plans to keep MGM Theater In operation 52 weeks of the year and doubtless keep the same sponsor Now how is Clayton going 1 -1 411 lzti: 4 1 )kstomei How about having a troupe of little people only three feet high do a tumbling act on the mattress? ELIZABETH AVA venp 101 1 T- or pki 4 0-11 ti COLUMBIA Pa A local justice of the peace has issued summonses for seven railroad engineers charged with speeding through town A 49-year-old ordinance restricts trains to a speed limit of 10 miles per hour Two local policemen set up a "speed trap" last week on the Pennsylvania Railroad's four-track line through here The seven for whom the summonses were issued by Justice of the Peace Schabley were clocked officers said at speeds between 321 miles per hour and 45 miles per hour The decision to 7rosecute the engineers is the result of a seven-year-old feud over demands for signal lights at the eight crossings on Front St the town's main street The borough council wants the PRR to pay all of the estimated cost Thy riot have Clayton and Maxine Barrat stage a pillow fight on it? How about demonstrating Its value as a raft in case of flood? How does It fit into home bomb shelter plans? You see it's simple The chair will now put the motion to vote All those in la Km-'17) Samovar VODKA are not? 1 career 2 catelogue 3 Invelgel 4 monetary 5 person-el 6 promisory 7 recommend 8 regretable 9 nicality 10 thousanth AN SUER Well bow did you do? Numbers 1 4 7 and 0 are right the rest are wrong and should be spelled: 2 catalogue (also catalog) 3 inveigle 5 personneL 6 promissory 8 regrettable 10 thousandth All 10 right is excellent nine right good IFlorida Fact I The Enterprise is the only pre-World War II Aircraf Carrier in the Navy Efforts are being made to make this famous ship a permanent resident of Florida tade from graM Stood MO froot Selvertmy Dist Co Plitt SPEOCEll MACY gal's lusciousness this may have been a lesson to hint Certainly Ava gave the funny man a 'preview of what marriage tr her can be like 2 Another star of the flickers Elizabeth Taylor staged a noisy scene too Her hue band Mike Todd wanted to visit Paris for a few days While awaiting the plane Liz bawled hint out so everyone within miles knew the most dynamic man in show bust mess was getting the works Mrs Todd informed all and sundry that Paris bored her and she wasn't going So Mr Todd curled up and hired a private Job at a cost of $1600 to fly them to the Riviera It may be an old fashioned viewpoint but It seems almost indecent for a woman to act as Miss Gardner did Nor does it seem right for wife to castigate her husband while hundreds listen If she feels it necessary she houJcl do the verbal blistering in private The Italian comedian still has time to pro tect himself It is a bit too late for Mr Todd NOTES ON A SHABBY CUT: If you think deep concern about sport centers in Brooklyn and the Dodgers consider how Spain regards bull fighting A matador named Jose Gutierrez Somoza made an appearance in the Though Don Julio knows more about jai alai than prize fighting he's the first to point out that boxing may no longer operate under the Norris plan Mike Gordon adds that while walking may reduce your weight jaywalking is certain to reduce your years Though they have nearly completed their engagement at the Eden Roc here's a cheer for Bobby Vann and Lilo Song-and-dance man Vann is the closest 1957 approximation of George Cohan and Lilo really sends me with her sultry French voice A friend of Holger Johonsen the Old Scan-dig smorgasbord king has a friend who owns a mynah bird The mynah has learned the best squelch imaginable for humans When somebody comes in he says "I can talk Can you fly?" This is the last call to old friends who haven't yet sent checks for the Lend-a-Hand Fund summer camp The kids are wonderful and have a grand time You've helped them before Please do it again Your summer will be happier because of a good deed The Bs Have It NORTHBORO "B's" have it with the Goodro family The children are Bruce Bryan Beth Brenda and Barbara Incidentally Mrs Wallace A Goodro's maiden name was Bruso Science Shrinks Piles New Way Without Surgery ''-4- 5' 1 I --1 -1) OM 5-- 1 t'' 1 M'll 1 1 1 -4 'N A 4' it': i -) 11 1 i i :1 ic -tt 40 ''iS I 1 -s' 1 -of i 4 -1 'i -''1 '4 '14''' 4 4 4s- 41 I Finds Healing Substance That Does Relieves Hemorrhoids Jumble Answer RAYON GENUS FOYER CAVITY Fantasy Jim 4-67 j( Ps-s i----z-- et A k- I of Bteed Is TT' nii fQ4J problem!" And among these sufferers were a very wide variety of hemorrhoid conditions some of 10 to 20 years' standing All this without the use of narcotics anesthetics or astringents of any kind The secret is a new healing substance Bio Dyne discovery of a world-famous research institution Al ready Bio-Dyna is in wide use for healing injured tissue on all parts of the body This new healing substance is offered in suppository or ointment form called Preparation Ask for individually sealed convenient Preparation suppositories or Preparation ointment with special applicator Preparation is sold at all drug stores Satisfaction guaranteed or money refunded Nt on alai appA soldatalldrugstoresSatisfaetion uaraniped or money refunded Let II Pat on New York (Special) For the first time science has found a new healing substance with the astonishing ability to shrink hemorrhoids and to relieve surgery In one hemorrhoid case after another "very striking improvement" was reported and verified by doctors' observations Pain was relieved promptly And while gently relieving pain actual reduction or retraction (shrinking) took place And most amazing of Improvement was maintained In cases where doctors' observations were continued over a period of many months! In fact results were so thorough that sufferers were able to make such astonishing statements as "riles have ceased to be a In Imt results were so tnor- ough that sufferers were able to snake such astonishing statements as "riles have ceased to be a Fly From MIAMI TO GRAND BAHAMA WEST END ROUND TRIP Daily Scheduled Flights MACKEY AIRLINES IIIALItti AIKLINtb "FURV" I TODAY 15:00 PM could never get herself to believe that you had ever done anything wrong If she didn't like you it was equally difficult for her to believe that you could do anything right She always weighed better than 180 and she was exactly five feet tall As far back as I can remember Maggy was going to start the diet in the morning She bated a corset and she would rather skip a good wedding than put one on But once she got into the harness let no man be caught looking at a watch and saying: "Isn't it getting a little late?" Spencer Tracy Sylvia Sidney Walter Abel The death of on innocent mon arrested on a kid nap charge seems certain when a lynch mob attacks the jail Wolter Abel The death of on innocent mon arrested or a kid mop charge seems certoin when a lynch mob attacks the jail MAGGY IS 77 She's the last of the breed She is short and stout and has a big round face and a shoe button nose She looks like Cork and Limerick and Galway and Wexford She was really born in Hoboken on Feb 4 1880 and her real name is Margaret Lanigan Dunning She's my mother-In-law Maggy has been living pith us for 20 years Her husband died My Elinor was her only child What else? Where else She was a good cook Her meat sauce was so good that I never ate the spaghetti Just giva me a bowl of the meat sauce and a half loaf of Italian bread No soup No dessert Her baked macaroni with cheese was too good for any of us The kids called her l'Nanny" as far back as I can remember They loved her with a devotion that matched what they had for their parents She loved scallions and whether they were on the grocery list or not the girls bought them She loved corned beef and cab! bage too and loin of pork and red cabbage MAGGY had a code of her own If she liked you she liked you all the way and she I a cl A SCHEDULED INTERNATIONAL AIRLINE Meet the Youngest Member le the IL Senate! from Idaho! the Honorable Seng Frank Church W(KT A SCHEDULED INTERNATIONAL AIRLINE W(1(111 4 a--e) 0' I I a ti)1 '9'''' ''''t Rs Le 4 A 5''''' IK sg it- I I -e si: ki ti: '1''''' 'J'a I 0 ii111611v-414t-'''v' 0 w- 4 4fw pa '-Vttl-Till -a? I' t--) 0 4i'- 0 i Meet the Youngest Member is of the IL Senate 1 AND EVERY from Idaho! gi the Honorable EE IGHT a Sen Frank Church My mother-in-law had little knowledge of the world and you could tell her that Europe was four miles south of El Paso and she'd believe it Her only outside interest was in rooting for the Brooklyn Dodgers When they were a run behind she said nothing But in her housecoat pocket she had a rosary and she would tick off the beads in a petition for two quick runs I asked her softly what would happen if Our Lord was on the side of the Giants and that time she didn't speak for a week She's the last of the breed I hope she's with us many more years Robert Ruark Finds I I I I WATCH TELEVISION'S AWARD WINNING NEWS PROGRAMS r-s 7- 'WARD PROGRAMS NEWS PR 77ING XttlATCH TELEVISION'S Very Important Person waf 1 164111111 Hear the "Story Behind the Man" with your host and moderator Harry Cain on "FIRST FEDERAL PRESENTS" Hear the "Story Behind the Man" with your host and moderator Harry Cam on "FIRST FEDERAL PRESENTS Very Impo rtant Person Culture Is Prevalent In This Private Bar 4 drir Grimier's de luxe parlor establishment in New Orleans And the light fixtures are vintage 19th century stuff from the United States Hotel in Saratoga Springs The rnost modern adornment in the joint is an oil of Lillian Russell The get fired for dating the customers and who are models of clad in long mesh stockings a kind of diaper with a bow behind and something which might be called a bodice The gentlemen who perform behind the bar and at the professorial piano wear the old-fashioned fancy-house garb of ruffled shirt and brocade weskit and they are named things like Scully Joe and Lyle They are prideful folkses who consider themselves equal if not a cut above the guests which is as it should be CrITURE HAS FINALLY COME to New York by way of New Orleans and Chicago and a more gracious life and I am happy to say I got a key to culture This is one of the happier aspects of writing a column for a liv As an old world 19th century-type I am very keen on culture Culture to me is not 4(1 having to kiss 16 dames you don't like before you can sit down in a sa- -loon Culture to me Is smooth booze quiet and a gentle air of control- led wickedness Culture 4 is pretty people to look at and barkeeps that keep bar instead of hold- ing court There is a joint in town which is not open to the general public thank God which fulfills my requirements culturally It is a mellowed saloon in the Gay Nineties fashion without singing waiters which can be entered only by a key which you own The doorman hasn't got a key so you are reasonably safe from pursuit be it be mama or a process server It is called The Gaslight Club and is a branch of the original effort in Chicago voujwf TODAY THE DIIIMOND DEIIIIIS O'KEEFrs TAIRRING Teti 1 oplW A runaway HTomb scientist triggers a suspensehunt that races across the face of the earth! Avoiii foo ewe It 4 10-11 410010 WC UT -tir IIAtilitr 930 LLONIG it co 416 I a iil- 7-11 0 i AY 0 0 0 0 p) I THE Dillmotin i 5 astz I II 7r TODAY 1 cEer AI 1 I 1 ra 1 Entlis 0 KL-- -1 tt 040 ile 4 vilzARD 4841 R41 piN RE-AncK REPORTA6- si Iv scientist 0 7 triARRING ers a suenseh :7 0 4o7 I A runaway II Romb t-- it 1: ggspunt that races a- i i fi across the face of the earths '--f: 0- HE 3' i rN 002 noon et ::27 4' AV: K- 0 E-- Mb liti flo 0 0 4- Ai if I 14 '41c :::1 iv' i it ix 'a W' WCEIT 11 0 WV 'iwyezi4 04 0 06 11' ILt24: '1 41141 al I INIENEMMIIMPIEMIONIMMEMINIMINEIMINEMW i 8 1 It ONE END OF THE quietest a proper faded-volume library and it is a positive pleasure to sit there and pore over a volume of Ouida while Miss Jinny or some such provides a magnificent vista as she pours over a volume of I2-year old Scotch which is the youngest bar booze they serve They keep a buffet going and for a nickel you can make yourself- one or 10 sandwiches of ham turkey cheese or what you will I ami not hustling this joint because you can't get in anyhow and the waiting list of membership is considerably longer- than your arm It's just a pity it isn't open to the public but maybe you can sneak in a spy and start one of your own in your own home town Culture is indeed a wonderful thing ITS SITCATED in a real old building off Park Avenue on 56th or 57th has no sign on the Aloor and Is the kind of house Grandpa acted up in 50 years ago The blg back bar is built around four mahogany griffon" that came out of Madame 1 r-41 -S At" 0 44 fr' "663 bo I.