Lubbock Evening Journal from Lubbock, Texas • Page 18

EVENING March 23. 1984 AP Lascrpholo Stripper to feminist Lauri Lewin, a pseudonym, stands in Boston's notorious Combat Zone', where she once performed as a stripper. She since has written a book relating her experiences. Ex-stripper relates life on wild side BOSTON (AP) A 24-year-old former striptease dancer who led a double life through her high school and college years says in a new book that she was seeking admiration she believed she could get from strangers in seedy bars. "An illusion of intimacy accompanies nakedness," Lauri Lewin, 24, writes in "Naked Is the Best Disguise: My Life as a Stripper," to be published next month.

Miss Lewin, a college graduate, says she now believes she was seeking a kind of acceptance and attention lacking at home. Her parents divorced when she was when she was she and her older sister moved from their mother's home in North Carolina.to live with their father, a professor, in Boston. At the illegal age of 16, she began peeling as "Lolita" in Boston's Combat Zone, a few blocks of strip bars, peep shows, and bookstores selling sex books and devices. From noon to 8 p.m. she stripped, 20 minutes at a time, and used up to $100 a day in cocaine to brace herself.

She also completed Brookline High School, the University of Massachusetts in Boston and Beacon College. "It took six months of therapy before I could quit," Miss Lewin told The Boston Globe in an interview published Wednesday. "Part of my ability to get out was seeing that women are not valued, that they are desperately seeking admiration from people whd cannot and will not give it to said. Miss Lewin said she "had to compete with my sister," who worked briefly as a stripper while, attending the University of Wisconsin. "It was as if, by taking my clothes off in front of men, the customers and employers, I could expect them to know me and care for me.

I trusted that intimates would understand my humanncss, my moods and predicaments. How could these men who had seen my most- private parts not cherish me?" so scared; I'm so afraid. I feel all alone and totally out of control. I feel like I'm going to die. Please, Mommy helprne." A frightened 3-year-old? No', that is the of a well-edu-i cated, successful woman; Maxine Dudley, a'former Lufkin- ite now living in Denton, has.agora'-; phobia, defined as a morbid'fear of open spaces or, literally from its Greek root, a fear of the marketplace.

But that definition is incomplete, according to Mrs. Dudley. "Agoraphobia: is a fear of recurring fear," she said. "It is a severe and incapacitating anxiety occuring when the sufferer leaves the safety of home, or is alone, driving a car, flying, being in crowded places or any place where the sufferer may see himself or herself as being trapped and not in control of a situation." At age 19 Mrs. Dudley had her first attack.

"I had been shopping downtown, and I was walking down First Street. All of a sudden my heart started beating very fast; I started trembling and perspiring. I felt nauseated," she recalled. "I walked into Cavanaugh-Peden Drug Store and asked someone to call my mother. I didn't know what was happening to me." It was after many attacks, and many years later before Mrs.

Dudley was to discover what was the matter with her. "My mother took me to one medical doctor after another and one psychologist after another and one minister after another," Mrs. Dudley said. "No one could tell me what was Office eyes growth in medical costs WASHINGTON (AP) Costs of the Medicare and Medicaid health insurance programs will grow by $830 million over the next five years because of changes in hospital ownerships, the Congressional Budget Office says. "Hospital acquisitions directly increase Medicare's payments for capital costs," Nancy M.

Gordon, assistant CBO director, told a hearing Wednesday by two House Ways and Means subcommittees investigating the effect of changes in hospital ownership on Medicare costs. "The CBO estimates that over the 1985 to 1989 period, revaluation of new acquisitions will account for $750 million of Medicare payrrients, and another $80 million in Medicaid payments, because many state Medicaid programs follow Medicare's reimbursement rules," she said. In 1935, the League of Nations condemned Italy for the invasion of Ethiopia. the matter, I thought 1 was going zy." She married at the age of 23, but the marriage last. One of she'ejcpJairted, wasihe ianxi- and f'fear became' so; "I felt like I'was.

dying inside, tod die," she Once, Uhree months at" Woodland Heights Hospital. She felt safe there. She didn't want to leave her room. "Without the support of nurses and several friends, like "Mudder" Murray, Wanda Newsom and Marie Burns, I don't know what.would have happened to me," Mrs. Dudley said.

"They stayed by my side even though they didn't know how to help me." Finally, in 1980.Mrs. Dudley got her first glimpse at hope and under- 1 standing. "I was at home reading the newspaper and half listening to an interview program on television," she said. "The person being interviewed was talking about herself. Tears started streaming down my face.

My God, I said, she is describing me. The: woman said, "what I have is "I had an answer. At least maybe I could try to get on the road to recovery. I don't know if agoraphobics will ever' 1 be' totally' ''there Ts help." I Not only is Mrs. Dudley receiving': 7 has dedicated the rest of her-life to giving help to other agora- 'phqbics.

She has given up her pos- as a journalist who has worked yon several newspapers, write freel- magazines and taught at North Texas State University in Denton. Mrs. Dudley has started a ire- search institute on agoraphobia. A Lufkin counselor, Debra Tayjor, says agoraphobia is probably more 'common than many people realize. It can be successfully treated once It is identified, she said.

"The agoraphobic is stuck in the position of responding to the fear as a to the.bot-' torn of it, we the. situation from an adult point of view. We 1 change their perspective," Mrs. Tay- i lor said. Agoraphobia, also b.e treate'il arrange in hierarchy the'-', most fearful thing to the least fearful thing," Mrs.

Taylor said: "The client' pictures themselves in least, fear-' ful situation first learning to relax and, conquer the fear. This cart bV done in t.w.b ways by visual image- ry or by assigning actual tasks to perform. Like first going to the front'' doorvand open.ing-'it then graduating' to going outside." WHY WEIGHT? Aerobic Exercise For Fun FitnesS Coed Classes Monday-Friday 9:00, JOfOO AM 5:30, 6:45 PM 10:00 AM Saturday 794.960O Montlily Contrncts 5255-A 79th ut Aljbeyvillc SPRING SAVINGS iCeteleeri Junipers Hardy, Fast Growing, Windbreak Trees Beautiful, Rich Green Color Gal. Size, Reg. $5.99 SpJcial 5 Gal.

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