Dade County Advocate from Greenfield, Missouri • 7

HERE AND THERE they git him again at Lincoln. Last win ter he won lots bets. He puilec eighteen men on a sled on the bare ground gainst two other mules which could only pull seventeen. Ill bo hanged, though, if they ever git any of these mules while I when hes in a bad place is to look at the end of his tongue and watch his lenders, If yer keep watch of yer tongue yer can tell within an inch where yer wheels ll go, and if yer watch yer leaders too yer can pull out right. (Good advice for many other situations in life.) Yes, Ive made a little money by teamin, but we dont git paid now as we used to.

Lt year was the ftist time I ever driv for thirty dollars a month. The most I ever got waa a hundred and tweu-ty-flve a month, in Mexico I didn't keep much of it, though. In Californy then they was payin a hundred and fifty a month for teamsters. Well, I got enough to buy a lot in Sioux City, and I put a little house on it. I wanted to make It all right, so I golly 1 see that jack rabbit ean'i them fellers go Run, jack, run I the dogs after yer.

(Anybody who knows a jack rabbit, or has timed a streak oflightning, will deem this advice superfluous), Well, I wanted to make it all right, so I made it over to the old woman, md had the papers and every thing fixed -tso. I never had any children, but I Wiopted a little gal and brought her up, and she got married. Well, the old wo-min got ailin bout two years ago, and site died, and she made all the property owr to my dopted daughter, and made heR husband boss of all the papers. Min-lstraior I think they call it. The house and hud was worth three thousand dollars, bit the feller went and sold it for thirteei hundred.

I never got a cent on it. Aid Joe laughed as he thought of his bad luck. Many men would have sworn. 1 bjfore, he went on, I got together boir, nineteen hundred dollars. I lent it to a filler to start a ranch with, but I never seen my of it ag'in.

Ive made up my mind tlat its no perticlar use to save money; aid I think now that Ill jest keepenougt to bury me, and use up the rest as I go long. 1 And Joe gave another ojhis phlosophical laughs. I hevnt got relations, and I hevn't got nobody to tile care of, and I guess Ill stick to this tlie rest of my life. I spose I might hev been worth suthin now, if I hadnt been so rovin. Like my mules? Yes, I do; and I think my mules like me.

Theres a heap fection in a mule. Maggie, here, will stop eatin her corn any time if yer jist rub her ears; and if jer keep on rubbin shell lie right down like a kitten she likes pettiii. I allers take good care of my I think Low it is with myself. Sometimes Ive been mighty hungry and semetimes thirsty and Id hev been mighty glad if some one had lieon roun to give me a feed. An I know that mules hev feelins just like a man.

But some of those new drivers dont car a durn whether their mules git watered or not. Maggies acurus gal bout that. She's mighty perticlar. If you drive her inter water and it gits riled at all, she-wont drink a bit. Up there in the Black Hills we had splendid water, but she wouldn't drink any for two days.

She wasnt sick neither. Guess you must be suthin of a camel, eh, Mag? ant so with Boxer hell drink whenever he gits a chance. Nice mule, ant he Hes allers jest as steady as yer see him now. Allers keeps along jest so. Yer always know how to depend on him.

Whenever theres any pullin to be done hes roun. Gwah, Maggie, gwah That was a bad place to break a hame strap. I dont like those hamo buckles, anyhow. I think holes is a teamster discourse from in, ngj, wheel mule. His profanity is shocking, but in its spirit it Is moreinterjection-al than blasphemous.

The truth is, his curses are only a vulgar patou. The mule understands it, and governs himself accordingly. When a teamster gets stuck at a crossing, his companions give him but me 5 of advice. They tell him to t-ab a root. The idea pictured, I supe, is that of.

a drowning man catchhng at a shrub or root on the bank. Freeiy translated it means, Make the best of you- resources. If a mans horse ran away him a teamster would advise him to -ab a root. If a railroad train ran off th tiv or a boiler explosion took place, thetcmii-ster would advise every body to gtab a root. If a -man fell desperately in love or were going to be hung, he would tellnhn to grab a root and if he could not da it In this world to seize the first chance an the other one.

The devotion of some teamsters to theli mules is as conspicuous as thd neglect ol others. I knew one who cried like a child when a favorite team, which he had driven for years, was taken from him. The noisy, strenuous style of driving which belongs to the average teamster, and which the novice affects, is not without distinguished exceptions. Old Buckskin Joe by the way, a generic name in the West has driven forty-four years anc has never broken a tongue or tipped over a wagon. Yet he seldom whips or ourses a mule, and heartily despises the professional bun-combe.

I dont see no use in so much beatin and hollerin, he would say dont want none with my mules. When I tell em whats wantin, they allers pull every ounce thats in em and a man cant ask no more. Old Joe is quite a character in his way. He began to team when he was ten years old, and though now. fifty-four, with his beard long and gray, he is still fond of this rough life.

Six feet high, erect in with- long hair falling nearly to his shoulders and a beard like that of the Elijah pictured in the Sunday-school books, you might take him for one of the later Scripture patriarchs, if his modern suit of buckskin and a hat which Noah might have worn at the flood did not present a contradiction in dates. At ten years of age Joe ran away from home and found his way into the West, which he has pretty thoroughly explored, though not yet to his satisfaction. I hev been pretty much over the country, said he, hev seen Mexico, Californy, Nevada, Dakota, Wyoming, Montana, and Idaho, and Im getting rather old now but if I can make a riffle I want to get to Washington Territory yet. I first made Joes acquaintance on the Yellowstone trip last year, and found him again driving one of the cavalry company teams on the Black Hills expedition, frequently relieved the monotony of the march by riding alongside of him, taking lessons in the art of mule driving, and listening to his curious monologues. What Joe does not know about mule driving is not worth knowing.

His bits of personal experience, his observations on passing events, such as the sudden appearance of a Jack rabbit or an antelope, and his sago remarks on mules and their character formed a strange melange.He never became so absorbed in conversation that he forgot to speak a word in season to his mules. Boxer, Boxer, he would suddenly interpolate, and the wheel mule rejoicing In, that name would swing to the right justin time for the wheels to clear a dangerous hole. Thats the advantage, he would continue, of hevin a good pair of wheelers, and its a good thing to git your mules so theyll know jest what yer mean when yer speak to em. I can allers calculate on old Boxer, and this one too (pointing to Maggie, his saddle mule) allers swings est when I speak to her. Both of em allers know when to let up and when to pull you bet they do, and half of the time I neednt tell em, These are two mighty good mules.

The hull team a good one. Theres a lot of new drivers here that ud like to see ine git stuck but I aint stuck yet. Many of them fellers have lightened up too but Im drawin jest as much as when I started. Custers awful hard on a march, though. A man cant keep his mule lookin fat if he dont hev nothin to eat.

Yesterday them mules was harnessed from four oclock in the mornin till nine at night didnt hev no chance to graze at all. Yet they expect a man to keep his mules lookin jest so. A few more marches like that would kill the hull lot of em. (Gwah, gwah.) Yes, Babe is a pretty fair line mule, 5ut not like some Ive seen. Ive seen line mules you could drive jest as well with a twine string yer wouldnt have to pull hardly an ounce to make em haw.

Theres a heap of difference in line mules. Yer can make some of em gee by jest ingling the chain. It makes a big difference how yer drive em, too. Iwas drivin Californy In 65, and there was a feller there who was tryln to drive a line mule and couldnt make her go no how. He got a big heavy bit for her, like them they use for the cavalry but he couldnt make ier go.

She would kick and rear awfully. Weil, I took her, threw away that bit and jut in one of these little mule bits Just the same as tills team hev, and I driv her without any trouble at all. She was a good gwah, Maggie, gwah a feller has to look out for his wheelers here theres sich Wz of bad places. A 11 a wants to do gillie Cfl. VOLNEY MOON, Editor and Publisher.

GREENFIELD, MISSOURI. THE MULE AND HIS DRIVER. of the Yellowstone and Blech Hills Expeditions Bacltskln Joe end His Philosophy. Mr. S.

J. Barrows contributes to the Atlantic for May a racy article entitled The Northwest Mule and His Driver, from which we extract the following: But no characterization of the mule is complete without an adequate notice ot the teamster. He is an intellectual and hybrid, almost as much of an enigma as the mule. It is hard to say which of the two, mule or teamsfer, exercises greater influence over the other, and it is hard to say in which direction the influence is better. General Zachary Taylor, who hated teamsters so that he could scarcely bear one in his sight, would no doubt decide In favor of the mule.

As a class, teamsters are made up of that peculiar sort of drift-wood which the stream of civilization always leaves here and there along its borders. They are nearly all wanderers and adventurers. Many have served at mining, wooding, and boating, and take to teaming as a collateral pursuit. Many are farmers sons who have left their homes deluded by the hope -of high wages in the West. When their small stock of money is gone they are glad enough to engage as teamsters for thirty dollars a month.

Indeed, when a man of any calling is thoroughly broke in the Northwest, he generally repairs to teaming to mend his fortunes The variety of professions represented In this -work of redemption is sometimes very strange. On the Yellowstone expedition we had two hundred and eighty teamsters. While the majority were men who could hardly be said to have ever had any settled occupation, there were not a few who Had seen nobler walks of life. Store-keepers, school-teachers, clerks, doctors, lawyers, were sprinkled here and there in the motley array. A lawyer at Bismarck, a little frontier town on the Missouri, near our starting-point, having lost his only case the day before the departure of the expedition, despairing of his bread and butter for the rest of the summer, immediately engaged as a teamster.

The son of a prominent clergyman in Washington was determined to go on this expedition. He applied for a position in the scientific department, but falling, disguised himself, went to the quartermasters, and signed the teamsters contract. In the Black Hills expedition many adventurers engaged, simply to see the new country. Among them was the son of a wealthy gentleman in the West, who was determined to go and could go in no other capacity. I have never personally known the clergy to be represented, but the fact that one of the teamsters was persistently called Parson showed a -disposition to recognize the claims of the profession.

The typical teamster, however, is one who is born and bred to his business. The teamsters duties are simple but arduous. He drives his team on the march, and in camp sees that they are well cared for. The art of driving a six-mule team in the Eastern States is almost unknown. It is not a government of gees and haws, nor a six-fold complication of reins.

A single line from the driverto the mouth of the guide or left lead mule, called the line mule, is the only telegraph. A series of jerks on the line turns the obedient leader to the right, a continuous pull guides him to the left. A stick called a jockey stick, fastened by a chain at one end to the pollar of the line mule, and at the other to the bit of his companion leader, compels the latter to second the motions of his consort. The wheel team is under the immedihte control of the driver, who rides on the back of the near mule, holding his line in his left line, his cowhide whip (his black-snake) hanging with a professional grace around his neck, ready for any emergency. The plain, unornamental part of the business iseasy.

It is only when he gets to a bad crossing, involving perhaps a steep descent, a heavy slough at the bottom, and a high and difficult come out on the other side, that the teamster has a chance to display the resources and adornments of his profession. Going down-hill the teamster never swears at nis mules descending elocution is confined to the single word wah-oo, uttered with a strong accent on the last syllable and in the teamsters most persuasive voice. None but a green hand ever thinks of saying whoa. This is horse dialect and mules have little respect for it. When the wagon has fairly got to the bottom and the mire has begun to swallow its wheels, then the teamster is transformed.

Then it is that unshipping his whip and opening his battery of oaths he bombards his team with blows and objurgations until every ounce -of their strength is put into the collar. Rising on his saddle he launches his ubiquitous whip at the off wheeler and the swing mules, pounds his saddle muie with his heels, and vents a peculiar, vivifying shriek at the distant- ears of his leaders. The originality, picturesqueness, fluency and irreverence of the teamsters exhortation to his mules under such circumstances baffles all decent description. No one him a lull appreci ition of the ultimate power -and genius of eloquence until ho has hoard Tiik old story oer again. The gilver ore lately found in Westerly, R.

turns out to be magnetic iron. Thkrk are signs that the great deadlock in the South Wales coal-field is approaching a termination. Both sides are evidently weary of the struggle. A curious Indication of the fact that the country has seen hard times for the past year or two is testified to by paper-makers, who say that the rags sold them of late have been more ragged than formerly. It seems that people have been wearing their clothes threadbare, and there must be a good time coming, con-sequcmtly, for the dry-goods and clothing trades.

As Charles McLaughlin was emerging on the back of a mule from a tunnel at Slatington, one day recently, an Immense icicle, weighing about a ton, became detached from the rock above and fell, crushing both to the earth. The mule was so badly hurt that It had to be killed, but the rider was only badly bruised and will recover. All over Sicily, the former kingdom of Naples, and part of the Romagna there still exists vast secret associations, which, under the names of Camorra, Maffla, and others, pretend to exercise justice very much as did the Vehmgericht in mediaeval Germany, these associations spread all over Italy. Judges and witnesses, jurymen and police, deputies and Ministers, stand alike in apprehension of this mysterious, invisible, yet omnipotent power. In many parts of the kingdom its authority is far more respected than that of the Government.

It is a startling fact that one pair of rats, with their progeny, will produce In three years no less a number than 646,808. A doe rat will have from six to eight uests ol young every year for four years together, and from twelve to twenty-three at a litter; and the young does will breed at three months old and there are more females than males, at an average of about ten to six. If they ran about the strteets like cats or dogs the public would be terrified, but as they hide and work In the dark, meft see or think of them. Thk Lyons (N. Republican reports that there Is a farmer in Phelps, Ontario county, who has on hand the wheat product of his farm for the past four years, refusing to sell from time to time because he believed wheat was going higher.

His granaries and every available plaoei his barn and other outbuildings are occupied, and there are piles of wheat in his garret and elsewhere in his house. He has set his stake, he says, and will hold on to his wheat until it brings the price he has named to himself, if it isnt for forty A visitor from the North states that a real healthy Florida flea is about the size of an apple-seed, and a stranger just arriving In Jacksonville, and having one light on his face or neck, turns around quickly to look to see where that boy is who threw that pebble, but not seeing any boy In the vicinity, imagines he was mistaken and walks on until that flea gets to feeling at home, when he (the stranger), imagines there is a large-sized, pin sticking in him the whole length, or seme fellow boring a gimlet Into him when closer investigation discloses the fact that that flea is located, and going for his blood with a rapaciousness worthy of a landlord. A clrvbr swindler has just been captured in Paris. He began bis adventures ia Marseilles. Dressed in the garb of a Bishop, he gave himself out as the son of Lord Parker, Governor of Canada, and succeeded in duping tbe Prefect as well as the local church authorities, who gave him money and recommendations to persons in Paris.

He then went to the capital, wherq he appears to have been feasted by the priesthood with all the honors due to his ecclesiastical rank. However, shortly after quitting -Marseilles, something oozed out, the Police were telegraphed to, and by dint of search they found him at Passy, In the monastery of the Christian Brothers, where he was duly nstalled in the apartment of the Superior. The Canadian Bishop turns out to be a -)oor commercial traveler traveling on his own account. On April 2, at 2 p. four English ladies hired a two-horse cab in the Piazza di Spagna, In Rome, to go to the Appian Way.

They reached without mishap Casale Ro-tondo, about five miles out of Rome. At oclock, on their return, they found themselves near the tomb of the Horattii and Curiattii, when two ruffians sprang all at once from behind a low wall and placed a pistol to the horses head. The cabman immediately drew up, came down from the box, and stood by, an inactive spectator of the proceeding. The two irigands then demanded money of the tidies, and with accompanying threats," while wounding one in the hand and point-ng their stilettos at the throats of the others, they rifled them of two gold watches, three gold chains, a gold eye-glass, and a lortemonnale. When the cab had resumed its course they called after tne driver, who again pulled up with perfect obedience, to take from one of the- ladies her earrings, which they bad seen, but forgot to rifle ler of.

Throughout the whole Appian Way they did not meet a single guardian of public safety of whom they could ask assistance. The only persons they met with were four German gentlemen one of them a surgeon by whom they were accompanied hoine and every attestor, t. -V kt hev em. Iaint right to hike a mule out of the stable when hes beeu workinall day, and then go to pullin him out of his skin Jest to see how much hell draw. Wall, I guess thats camp ahead do you see how them mules know it I tell yer theres aheap 0 human natur In mules.

Gwah, Maggie, gwah 1 And with a jerk or two on the line to let Babe know what was wanted, Joe and his team moved ofl toward the headquarter tent, It is surprising what skill teamsters attain in driving with a single line. Old Joe could turn his wagon round within its own length, and did not grnmble that a bridge was narrow if you gave him two or three inches on each side of the wheels. The facility with which the veteran distinguishes his mules is equally surprising to a novice. Weed out the few grays and duns, and the mules in a fifteen hundred herd look very much alike. But an old teamster, when he has once driven a team, can tell them in the largest herd, if he secs them half a mile off.

A novice whom I recall had less success. How many of your mules have you got? said an angry wagon-master to him one morning, about half an hour after it was time to be harnessed. All but five," was the doleful reply. The teamsters pastimes are simple, but not always innocent. Wherever there is a Butler, a large share of his time and earnings are spent at the bar.

An indis-' pcnsable part of Ids outfit is a pack of cards. Ills philosophy of life, hi' creed, his hopes and expectations for thd future, are all implied in those fifty-twq elements. No expedition goes out without three or four professionals, who engage as teamsters. On the Yellowstone expedition there' were several who reaped a good harvest. The most successful, nicknamed Governor Wise, took home three thousand dollars as the result of four months work.

One of his best hauls, known only to a few, was made one night just after we had buried the one unfortunate teamster who was killed on the trip. The game 1 lasted all night, and when the bugle sounded re veille, Wise had made fifteen hundred dol-dars. It is only professionals who can play such heavy The teamster' wages do not admit of large stakes but he will stake all he has. Let a hundred teamsters be paid off, and in three or four days nearly the whole amount of money will be in the hands, ef three or four men Many an expert gambler has graduate! wealthy from a' mules back. At Fort Bridger an accomplished teamster mal sixteen thousand dollars from his com rades in three months.

There is a man in Leavenworth to-day worth fifty thousand dollars, who made it in the same way, But reverses, are equally noticeable. A man at Dobetown, Utah, owned property worth one hundred and seventy-five thousand dollars In gold. He lost it al in a single game of poker, and to keep from starving was obliged to take a black snake and drive a team side by side with the man who told me the story. But, said old Martin, it cured him of gambling. Importanhto Farmers.

The Department of Agriculture has pub lished the following circular ''The Agricultural Department of the United States desires to communicate to its correspondents the following informa-tioii: 1. The object and purpose of the Department is to procure the best and most approved seeds which can be obtained in this or any other country, and so distribute them as that they iay be introduced into all parts of the United States to which they aie respectively adapted. 2. Vegetable garden-seed is put up In pa kages and varieties, having a reference only to the elimatc and soil to which they are to be sent. Any designation of these seed- wanted by individuals is useless, because they are already put up except the general one of flower or vegetable, or particular field seed, such as corn, oats, barley, spring or fall wheat, or particular kind or gras.

3. The Department does not profess to have eveiy variety of seed for distribution to supply the wants of any person, but only bulIi as are particularly good and useful, ami which cannot be readily obtained el' 4. The 1 partment often receives from five to fift letters from one place, and sometimes Written by one hand. These are not repmided to. 5.

The Department has its own agents for distribution therefore lists sent here are not attended to. 6. Money or stamps should not be sent to the Department for any purpose whatever. It has no authority to receive it. 7.

No seed is delivered at the Department but only by mail. Seed sent, in pursuance of the special appropriation of Congress, to the grasshopper districts has net been subject to these rules. Correspondents should save ttie product of seed sent them, for future use. 1'KtDKRicK Watts, Commissioner of Agriculture. Gkn.

Colton, now jin the service of Egypt writes from SefF Dongola that for a good, well cooked, well seasoned dinner, it is hard to beat tbe Arabs. They gave him more than twenty courses, the main piece being a sheep roamd whole. 1 Some girls are angry vhen you tejl them you love them. Others teangrier wtien you dont. Yer see that feller drivin over there in that other string? Well, hes a-pretty good driver, but he whips his mules too much.

Yer see that saddle mule 6f his use to bein on the off side, and hes usin it now on the near side. Of course it ant use to bein there, and it bears ofl to the left all the time. Its only natral it should. Yer know a man gits used to hevin one seat at the table, and it dont seem natral to set anywhere else. I never tried Boxer as a nigh wheeler, and I shouldnt want, either.

Hes a pretty ligh-strung mule for such a steady one. But that off swing there I would nt ride for a hundred dollars. I dont believe any man living could set on her back if she wasnt willin, and I dont think she would be. SheS very touchy if you dont speak to her. I came up to her once and touched her without speakin, and she jumped clean out of the harness in two minutes.

One of them infantry fellers was walkin long side of her tother day, and I saw it fretted her and I asked him if he wouldn't fall back. By and rby le came up again and jest kept right long side. I jest got down and told him that if he didnt git away Id see if I wasnt young enough to make him so he quit. A man must take his mules part, yer know. I use to take a heap of trouble to fix up my team.

It wasa Government team, too. That one I had in 66 was a fine one. had some hOusins made out of buffalo and lined nice with red, yer know, and scollups cut to make -em look smart. 1 jought a steel bow and some fine bells a mule likes bells you know they cost me eleven dollars. I paid two dollar a piece for rosettes, three dollars for some martingales, and spent six dollars Just for ribbon.

All the fixins cost forty-six dollars, all out of my own pocket. Thats played out now. It dont pjy to decrate yer mules, because after theseexpeditions they take yer team away. Spose 1 shall lose this team too. Them wagon masters are beginnin to bet now how much Boxer can null when.