The Troy Record from Troy, New York · Page 59

f Engagements j Time is a great healer' The Sunday Record. March 27. 1977 - F-5 D E B O R A H C A M P E S E , ROBERT CHESKY Cunpese · Chesky Deborah J. Campese, daughter of Mr. and Mrs. Nicholas H. Campese of Latham, is engaged to Robert H. Chesky, son of Mr. and Mrs. H a r r y Chesky of Sahenectady. , . A July 2 wedding is planned. The bride - elect received degrees in sociology and social welfare, both magna cum laude, and a master's degree in social work from Albany State University. She is employed by Albany Memorial Hospital as director of patient and family services. The future bridegroom, a graduate of Cortland State College, r e c e i v e d h i s ' master's degree from Albany State and is employed as a research assistant by the Research Foundation of the State University. . . Y V O N N E C H H Y S T I E , WILLIAM TIERNEY Chrystie-Tierney Yvonne Chrystie,-daughter of Mrs. Norman Chrystie of Canton, is engaged to William M. Tierney, son of'Mr. and Mrs. F.W. Tierney of Latham. A Sept. 10 wedding is planned. Daughter also of the late Norman Chrystie, the .bride elect is a graduate of Canton Central High School and Bookey-Carr Margaret A. Bookey, daughter of Mr. and Mrs. Francis S. Bookey of Albany, is engaged to Gregory D. Carr, son of Mr. and Mrs.. W.arren -E. Carr of Watervliet. A May 14 wedding is planned. ' The bride - elect is a graduate of Guilderland Central High School and Prendergast · Page Colleen M. ~Prendergast, daughter" of Mr. and Mrs. William R. Prendergas't ,of Troy, is engaged to Rick A. Page, son of Mr. and .Mrs. Charles Page of Watervliet The bride -/elect is a graduate of Averill Park High School and will be graduated in May from the, Hudson Valley Community College nursing program. »The .future bridegroom, .a" graduate of Averill Park High School, is employed by Levd- nian Brothers, Troy. DKAR I)R. LANDAU: I'm in my late 80s. I've been divorced fora year now. But I still can't enjoy The Single scene like other young divorcees seem to. , It bothers me. Frankly, I feel like a double failure. I failed in my marriage, and now I'm falling as a divorcee. What's wrong with me? - Dawn DEAR DAWN: You're not a failure. You just have deep feelings. You're the type of person who can't hide deep feelings behind partying and dates. v Even'people who needed a divorce, or who wanted a divorce, need time to heal the wounds. Today, there is much less stigma attached to divorce.. People aren't made to feel guilty about divorcing. But that doesn't mean there is no pain or sense of failure. To think thai there is no pain and suffering to divorce is to think that people don't'have deep feelings. · \ Time-is a great healer, Time takes the edge off the disrupting emotions people feel after a divorce. However, as a healer, time works more quickly on sonie people than others. 1 How quickly time heals depends on how much you lost'. Did you just lose a spouse? Or was it also children, as well as a lifestyle, you lost? How rapidly time heals depends on whether or not you had to get over a shock as well as a loss. Was the divorce sudden? Like losing a spouse from a heart attack or car accident? Or did you have the opportunity to prepare for the loss? Like the spouse of someone dying from a prolonged illness? How quickly time works depends on the availability of Dr. Miriam Landau 2] The Mamage Counselor replacements. Are there friends and family who provide emotional security and social life? Are you financially able to get back into the social swing of things? Do you feel up to the sexual competition? Do you have a challenging job that occupies your mind? Dawn, don't consider yourself a failure merely because you're trying to cope with deep feelings. It is true that people who feel deeply get hurt deeply. But they are also the people who get the rewards from loving deeply. DEAR DR. LANDAU: My husband works late. Sometimes he doesn't get home before 9 p.m. Not because he works that late, but because he stops off for dinner before he comes home. He claims he has no choice, because supper time with our sons (aged 10 and 12) is too nerve - wracking for him. The boys are always fighting. They interrupt each other, as well as our conversation. I explained to my husband that the boys are eager to talk to him and tell him what happened in school. He claims he is too tired and needs peace and quiet. But I feel strongly that the children are entitled to sit down to a meal with their father where he can give them his undivided attention. I don't want my sons to think of their father as an absentee paycheck. I don't want my husband to think that because pays Ike billtf he doesn't have any other obligation n »father. Mary Ellen DEAR MARY ELLEN: . The supper table is a wonderful time to establish communication between family members. But obviously it' doesn't always work out that way. As you pointed out, family members all have their own needs. When those needs clash, instead of the supper table being communication and sharing time, it will deteriorate into shouting and disciplining time. 1 I certainly agree with you that you don't want your husband to be an absentee father, who feels that his obligations end with paying the bills. But what about your sons' obligation their father? , ·If you don't teach them now that they must behave at dinner table because their father needs peace and quiet, you are setting them up for trouble. Trouble, not only between them and their father but between yourself and your husband, and between your children and you. Remember, your children have a right to count on you teach them about their obligations to others. They apparently have already been taught what their rights are. We hear a lot about the breakdown in family life. In opinion, part of that stems from the fact that we have been concentrating too much on what parents must do for their children: We have neglected to focus on what responsibilities children must accept toward their parents. If we don't teach children at an early age that they have responsibility toward their parents, at least to the extent of behaving at the dinner table, they will grow up totally unprepared to accept responsibilities toward their spouses or toward their own children later-on. Those were the days, my Mend' The periodic need to go shopping reminds me more than ever that I am not exactly a spring chicken any more. While hordes of frantic shoppers are.jumping'.intbjheir cars and buzzing off to the sprawling shopping complexes, I. just want to get on a bus, ride downtown, and shop in th'e'cozy security of a tightly - knit group of shops, and a good department store or.two.' ' ·:'· ·· My age is showing, isn't it? ' .," ; If I were to classify myself as a shopper, I would say I am a long - standing member of the "Grand Order of Wishful Thinking Downtown Shoppers." interpreted, this means that I am one of those people who wishes downtowns everywhere would come back to where they were a few years ago when . downtowns were hubs of activity!' \ It's not that I have anything against shopping centers on the outer fringes of urban communities. It's simply that I belong to the generation that remembers what It was like to spend a whole day downtown, walking about, shopping, running Into old friends, having an impromptu lunch sometimes with another friend or two, and having a great time catching up on what has happened to good old Maudie or George and any of Loma Drowne Bits And Pieces the other friends or acquaintances who might be mentioned. Downtown was a great information exchange center! Aside from the many restaurants, there were always several movie theaters which had matinees, and after finishing the shopping, I used to try to make it to the theater before the afternoon prices changed at the box office. I have always been a movie goer, and going to the matinee was icing on the cake, the climax of a good day.' There was nothing so relaxing for me as having a real cry at one of the tear - jerking movies, or sighing over romance in a romantic melodrama produced in the fashion the old school of Hollywood melodramas. A day spent like this could always prepare me for another mundane week. I've been asking around recently, and I've found a great deal of revived interest in seeing active downtowns occupy their rightful places in towns and cities once again. Even young people who don't exactly remember what downtowns were like in by gone years are showing a tremendous amount of concern about the matter. Many of the young people I talked to are activists In neighborhood associations which are also trying to restore the prestige of entire urban neighborhoods. , . ". Maybe I'm just the eternal optimist, but I think downtowns are going to have a day in the sun again. I hope I'm still around to enjoy the kind of days I used to spend shopping. And, for a special treat, I hope there's a downtown movie matinee on a steady basis again where a middle aged gal me can rest up with her packages and enjoy a romantic sigh- and a nice therapeutic cry at the movies. Oneonta State College. She is. employed by the Carl Co., Schenectady, as buyer for the drapery department. The future bridegroom graduated from Shaker High School and Hudson Valley Community College and is 'employed by New York State as a senior corporation tax examiner. Mildred Elley School. She is employed .by the United State's Bankruptcy Court in Albany. - The future bridegroom, a graduate of Shaker High School-and a veteran of service, in the Air Force, where he earned the rank, 'of sergeant, is employed by" the. Watervliet Arsenal. c Hawkins English name MR. Clark Photo AND MRS. HENRY RIBERDY COLLEEN PRENDERGAST Riberdy - Jenks Nancy Jenks, daughter of Mr. and Mrs. Fred H. Jenks of Baflston; Spa, and Henry Riberdy, son o f : Henry E. Riberdy of Waterford, were married March 12 ih.St. Bernard's^ Church, Cohoes. Rev. James'Hayes officiated. .Matron of honor was Lynne Crabbe, sister of the bride, and bridesmaids were Linda Krjwy and C h a r l e n e Riicinski, the bridegroom's sister Flower girl was · Cheryl Riberdy. . Best man was . Robert Riberdy, the bridegroom's brother, · and ushers were. Mark Crabbe, the' bride's brother.- in - law, and Gilbert' , Riberdy,. the bridegroom's brother. Ring bearer was Brian Riberdy.,, . The receptioiT'Was held .at the 'Pleasantdale Rod and Gun Club. The bride is a gradaute of Ballston Spa High School and attends Schenectady County. Community College. The bridegroom., a graduate o f , Shenehdehowa Central School, "is with General Electric in.Rotter- dam. HAWKINS . Old English records abound with .names derived from those of different birds. Some examples of this type of surname are Faulkner (the falcon), Dove, Finch and Byrd. It would be natural to assume that the Hawkins derive their surname from a similar association with a hawk 'or someone who may have been likened to the characteristics' of the hawk such as a good hunter would be called. Hawkins however can not l o o k . b a c k on ancestors of- this sort. There is no association with a bird. There is confusion on the true source of the Hawkins name, many experts maintaining that it is a pet name of Henry or Harry. They claim that Halkin is an accepted nickname for Harry. In various early English dialects, Haw substituted for - Hal and the name was written as Hawkins. ' Others are. quick to dispute this and will dffer that the first form'of-.,the name 'appearing in documents' of the 12th and 13th century ( What's in your name? j show the spelling to be H a v e k i n w h i c h was- a diminutive of the Old English name 'Hafoc' and this even : tu'ally became Hawkin. (The V ending simply indicates the'son of Hawkin'). To verify this c'aim we searched our records and came up with several documents which contained · the name as it appeared in the Medieval Age. In Yorkshire records dated 1313 we found the entry, Haukynus; later, in the year 1332 it was spelled Haiikyn in- Cumberland tax records. One of the more illustrious bearers of the name was Sir, John Hawkins, born in 1532. He was an English Naval Commander in charge of the rear squadron in the obliteration of the Spanish Armada In 1588. He was second in command to Sir Francis Drake on his expedition to the West Indies In 1595. His son, Sir Richard was also a naval hero who took part in the defeat of the Armada. He became second in command of Sir Mansell's fleet in many battles against the Algerian pirates in 1620. There are no less than twenty three coats of arms recorded to the Hawkins HE HAVE TO NEW YORK, ROMDA, CAUFORNIA AND OTHER POINTS COPELAND TRAVEL AOENCY ?4-4th awtt.'Twy, N.Y. TEL. 27*7342 You can too! Call: 447 9000 What you hear may change your life! Shape Up For Spring Fashions Blouses Made In Our Factory FACTORY OUTLET 100 North Mohawk Street Cohoes, New York 12047 BLOUSES SLACKS f,om $7.75 to $11.50 (all blouses made right in our factory) No purchase necessary, jusl come in and register Drawing will be held tlie week before Easter. 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