The Salina Journal from Salina, Kansas on April 8, 1985 · Page 15
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The Salina Journal from Salina, Kansas · Page 15

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Salina, Kansas
Issue Date:
Monday, April 8, 1985
Page:
Page 15
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Fun The Sallna Journal Monday, April 8,1985 Page 15 Add ironing to endangered list The Far Side This week marks the 20th year this column has been in existence. During that time marriage has gone out and come back in again. Technology has invaded our homes, cars and lives. Women have staged a major revolution. "The Wizard of Oz" has been shown 27 times. I still have the same cookie sheet. Thumbing through two decades of columns, I cannot help but note the demise of trends that were a part of our lives but are no more. Somewhere along the line they became obsolete and we got tired of kicking them into the next year like a piece of heavy luggage at the airport. In May 1970, one of the last girdle factories in America shut down and no one cared. It was .to give new meaning to the phrase of the '70s, "Let it all hang out." The last mother-in-law joke was reported in 1969. "You know what mixed emotion is. It's watching your mother-in-law go over a cliff in your new Cadillac." (And not a moment too soon, I might add.) A 200-year-tradition ended in 1974, when women refused to dance back- Tank McNamara I Erma > Bombeck ' FIELD ENTERPRISES ward anymore. As one woman said, "If God had meant for us to dance backward, he would never have invented the open-toed shoe." In 1974, three-fourths of all the children in the country sent Mother's Day cards to Sara Lee. Within days, an announcement was made that kitchens had become obsolete and would never be the same again. Mothers had to decide whether to eat out or have a child prop their mouths open with a fork and yell into it, "Three malteds and three Whammyburgers to go!" Plain ordinary mice that used to hang out under the sink became an endangered species. They all became "research rats" and were plied with booze, pot, cigarettes, birth control pills, too much sun, cyclamates, caffeine, snack food and loud music. Available men began to disappear in 1983. At one time the ratio of elic gible mates to single women was 282,000 to one. And he didn't even know his sign. Childhood was a casualty of the late '70s and '80s. Like the wildebeest, a child was expected to hit the ground running to survive. The child of the '80s is fingerprinted at age 2, works a microwave at 3 and has his own door key at 5. Within the last several years, grandmothers have joined the endangered species who may not be able to feed themselves by the time they are given grandchildren to hold. What does 1985 hold? This just came over my desk. A woman set up her ironing board and was about to plug in the iron when a visiting 5- year-old said, "When you turn that thing on could you turn it down low so I can still hear the cartoons?" Add ironing to the list of things facing extinction. And try to control your grief. By Eugene Sbe/f er "It's the Websters. They say there's some pitiful thing dying of thirst out their way, and would we like to come over?" The Family Circus ACROSS 1 Gudrun's husband 5 Train unit 8 Cozy taverns 12 Wood for masts 13 Fib 14 Wild ox 15 Toward the mouth 16 Victim of social injustice 18 Disfigure 20 Warning signals 21 Evict 23 And not 24 Stronger 28 Double 31 Female swan 32 Sand hills, in Britain 34 Commotion 35 Egyptian skink 37 Showed the homer again 39 House wing 41 River duck 42 Dental problem 45 Marbles 49 Sell at a lower price 51 Hindu queen 52 Whirl 53 Corrida cheer 54 Press 55 Crones 56 What nobody wants 57 Sturdy keg DOWN 1 Footless 2 Ripped 3 Loll idly 4 Like some sports 5 Less deft 6 River in France 7 Cincinnati team 8 Talkative bird? 9 In progress 10 Favor 11 Droops 17 One, in Bonn Avg. solution time: 28 min. Ans. to yesterday's puzzle. 19 Carplike fish 22 Dogma 24 Belgian resort 25 Kennedy or Knight 26 Excavate 27Kindof gun 29 Food fish 30 Cain's land 33 Dross 36 Strangers 38 Man's name 40 Irish sea god 42 Son of Ham 43 Publisher's org. 44 Flat- bottomed boat 46 Ancient Irish capital 47 Slaughter , of baseball 48 Kitchen fixture 50 The gums I KNOW PRO BteKCTBAU- ) .NEWURSCAUE-SflDRT. J THIS IS> 1WE. FIRST 1M£ VF.S6EMA-TEAMSai TAPEP TO 1ME WALL ABCVE ?f Sf Z •£ " ^ For Better or for Worse IF I RUSH, I <2f»* SET Irt THESE BUSINESS |N/l3fleDHl9FOLKS,HlS y TRIPS SURE FIRE. SlSTEiRFWDlvOOOF SOME MORE 3HOPPING- BOUSHTSTOFFFOR HE KlDS.SO CLOTHES FOR CRYPTOQUIP 4-8 XADWWTIRZIR WTXGEUT KI IE- GUZGZKI ZP ADUC GK CZRTPG. Those are things the kids found during their Easter egg hunt. BEFORE I LEfWE «*«S8S!f£ Saturday's Cryptoquip — HOW THIS BOLD SEA BIRD WALKED ON THE SHORE ON SUNNY DAYS: AUK- WARDLY? Today's Cryptoquip clue: W equals L 6 l«U King Future* Syndicate. Inc. OFTH£W£EK AFTER WE EDITED The Lockhorns FOR TELEVISION THER Hagarthe Horrible ^ i. i WHY CAULEP MOTHER 16 LEAVING HER BOPY TO SCIENCE-SOME SCHOOL OF VETERINARY MEPICIME I'VE. BEEN AWAKE ONE.9ECONP.ANF> ALREAPV MV PAV 15 ROINEP THAT'S IOMAT MAKES IT SO SAP THIS I5NT ASAP 5TORV.. A Sad Story Wizard off Id Hi and Lois Rex Morgan M.D. Beetle Bailey SHE TAKES AN OCCASIONAL SOCIAL DRINK:—BUT SHE'D NEVER USE DRUGS .' 1 DON'T THINK SHE FITS THAT CATEGORY, MR. BISHOP? DOES SHE DRINK ALCOHOL OR USE DRUGS? CONCERNED OVER THE LATE MIGHT PHOHE CALL HE RECEIVED FRO/W HIS WIFE, BRADY BISHOP RETURNS TO PR. MORGAN'S OFFICE. WHEN YOU RE FINISHER YOUU HAVE THE CLEANEST ARMS IN STOP GRI PINS, BEETLE, AMP LOOK AT THE 1 KNOW I'M BEING A NUISANCE BY COMIN& HERE WITHOUT AN APPOINTMENT—BUT I'M CONVINCED THAT SOMETHING'S WRONG WITH CLAUDIA ! SOMETIMES I THINK SHE'S A MANIC DEPRESSIVE- UP OWE DAY, DOWN ANOTHER: ^-^ Born Loser FOR CWDDV, THAT IS THE TROTH .' HMCW...I \WEARA

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