Panama City News-Herald from Panama City, Florida on September 16, 1973 · Page 93
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Panama City News-Herald from Panama City, Florida · Page 93

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Panama City, Florida
Issue Date:
Sunday, September 16, 1973
Page:
Page 93
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Page 93 article text (OCR)

Quips & Quotes ARMOUR'S ARMOURY By Richard Armour BIRTHDAY PAINS Stop it! Stop it! Must you sing That silly "Happy Birthday" thing? Must I have a birthday cake? Must I grill a grin that's fake? Must I bh>w the candles out? Must I eat a piece, though stout? Must I read aloud each note, Some with rhymes that hurt my throat? Must I, then, unwrap each gift, Bought, I know, with canny thrift? If 1 must, then tell me why. Look mc, meanwhile, in the eye. When you've told mc, tell me then Why, like other grown-up men. I must feel dejected, rotten, VVlien niy birthday is forgotten. The nice thing about politicians is that ijoti can take them at face vahu: (ind still have tico clioices. —Frank Ttjger JULIET LOWELL'S CELEBRITY LETTERS Juliet Lowell, auttior of the all-time bestseller "Dear Sir," collects humorous letters to and from people in all walks of life. To Sen. Mark liatrield, Washington, D.C. Dear Senator Hatfield: I am writing to apologize. 1 wantedl you real bad to get| re-elected. So I went to the polls at 7 a.m. to vote for you. I returned again at 9 :15 p.m., but I got there too late to vote for you again. HawU B Warning: The Surgeon General Has Determined That Cigarene Smoking Is Dangerous to Your Health. THROUGH A CHILD'S EYES Kids see life differently. Send original contributions to "Child," Family Weekly, 641 Lexington Ave., N.Y.. N.Y. 10022. $10 if used—none returned. My four-year-old nephew was playing on the floor with his alphabet blocks. He held the "R" block up and asked, "What is this one?" "What does it look Uke?" I said. His reply was, "It looks like a 'B,* 'cept it has its foot kicked up." -Rosalind Sihohi Clearwater Beach, Fla. Looking out the kitchen window one spring morning, our little daughter saw a neighbor plowing his garden witli a small rotaiy tiller. She e.Kclaimed, "Oh, look, Daddy, he's mowing the mudl" —Mrs. Ralph D. Foster, Tuscumhia, Ala. By Frank Baginski LITTLE EMILY Ml/ neighbor feels like a nobody. Nobody has ever tapped his phone. —Martin Tonn "OK. You whistled, i sloppedl Now what?" FAMILY WEEKLY, Septomber 16, 1973 23

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