Cumberland Evening Times from Cumberland, Maryland on February 27, 1952 · Page 4
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Cumberland Evening Times from Cumberland, Maryland · Page 4

Cumberland, Maryland
Issue Date:
Wednesday, February 27, 1952
Page 4
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FOUR EVENING TIMES, CUMBERLAND, MD., WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 27, 1952 Phont 4600'for a WANT AD Taker Evening & Sunday Times The Unseen Audience An*rnooB (txopt «un<Uj) ind eunfl»y uorotoi. by T&» TUnti »nd AU«»nUo CompUT, 1-t hnnlc «tr»«t. CumbarUnd! K<L tet«r«l *< . Mcond elan null micur at Cnmb*rltoit MttyUnd. naa«r UK «ct of Utrcb i. ITU tUmlwr of th» Audit Bureau of ClreaJitloa Mtmbtr of Ttii AMocittxl Pi-eat By W. T. WEBSTER WMtJiey Bolton Telephone 4800 Weekly cubtctlpthm r»M 07 C«rrt*ri: On. vie* BTK onjj 30e; Krniof Xl»M Stt eopj, »«; *»t. * Bun. Tuaei. «QC ptr w«ijt: Sunday Tto.t» onlj. Ide ptr copy. Tho evenm* Tlmti and «undmjr Times uiami no «n»n- clil responilMUty (or typographies! «rro» tp adTtrtiit- cient« but will reprint that part of an adYertliement in which th» typographical «rror occurt Errori mun B» ruported »t one*. Wednesday Afternoon, February 27,1952 OU* COUNTIY Tkt union at ktarti, tA« union at hanlt ona tkt Flag of ota Union faravv. — Momi Defense Of Liberty WHITTAKBR CHAMBERS, in his story running In the Saturday Evening Post, tries to explain the mysterious quality of communism which has g'iven It such driving force throughout the world. He concludes that true Communists are people first of all of immense conviction. But more Important still, they have the will and the capacity to act upon their conviction. And in this they are almost alone. Chambers here has hit upon one of the puzzling paradoxes which grip free men. They have the faith that rightly may be prized above all other . faiths — the concept of freedom and individual human dignity. Yet when they hold these rich prizes in hand they too often act a« if they did not value them at all. Men fight fiercely for freedom when they do not have it. They fight, too, when they «e« it ebbing away, or under imme- diat* and grave threat. But when the danger to their liberties recedes even slightly, they relax their guard and turn a deaf ear to all pleaa for militant action. THIS PUTS THEM at a definite disadvantage in, any contest with Communists, to whom militancy Is a way of life. In the Communist world, there is no room for relaxation. The Cause Is an around-the- clock tyrant commanding the believer's energies every second. Perhaps it is in the nature of freedom that it cannot be best used in an atmosphere of self-conscious militancy. In any event, men who have their liberty seem bent most upon enjoying it—not defending it. Its defense is a task they put off as almost an interference with their freedom. In an ideal condition, it may be possible for free men thus to indulge themselves in the fruits of liberty without submitting to the limitations which follow from its active and constant defense. But a world containing an effective Communist force obviously does not fit that description. THE DEFENSES the free nations are now throwing up are a response to a threat they see as serious and relatively close. They must be credited with defining and meeting th« menace with more speed and fuller energies than they have heretofore applied in critical moments. Nevertheless, they have not yet passed the real test of these times. They have not yet shown that they understand that the Communist threat it always real and great, even when- it appears to recede. They .have not shown realization of the fact that you cannot combat 24-hour-a-day militancy with no militancy at all.' Whether or not it is the natural inclination of free men to do so, they must act upon their faith constantly and energetically in today's world. Other- wiw they may awake one day to find it gone—before they saw and recognized the peril it was in. Doolittle For Safety PRESIDENT Truman has made few more popular appointments than that of Lieut. General James DoolitUe to head a commission to investigate air safety. The appointment was prompted by the three recent crashes at Elizabeth, New Jersey, which brought fear to all people who reside near great airports. The Doolittle commission will investigate the accidents and make recommendations for improving the safety of cities located near airfields. To many people the name of Jimmy Doolittle is synonymous with aviation. A pilot from the days of the "flying orange crates,' 1 he climaxed his career with his daring raid on Tokyo during World War II, using carrier based planes. For this exploit he received a Congressional Medal ot Honor. He now heads a civilian airline. Doolittle will be able to approach the problem with a wealth of experience behind him. As head of an airline he knows that future progress in aviation depends upon the confidence of the people. He is aware that aviation must play a big part in our industrial and military program. With this In mind he can be expected to make every effort to get the facts on how airports and airplanes can be made safer. The daring of DoolilUe has played a big part in American aviation. Now his wisdom and experience may make an even greater contribution. Mink For The Brave MILADY'S stubborn loyalty to the coat of mink, paradoxial symbol of both fame and infamy, reminds us of the history of the four-ragere, the braided cord worn about the left shoulder seam of certain cited military unit- 5 ;. It was first worn, reluctantly, by members of a battalion in Napoleon's army who had distinguished themselves by turning tail in the face of the enemy. As punishment they were forced to wear cords about their necks, symbolic of the hangman's noose. But in a subsequent engagement, fighting bravely to their ignominy, they emerged a battalion of heroes. So, they tucked their cords around one shoulder and declared them a symbol of great courage. Which today they are. Certainly the ladies who persist in wearing coals of mink these days have much of the type of fortitude possessed by- Napoleon's famous battalion. We predict great things for the mink. A hundred years '.-om now, who knows what it may symbolize. ' WHAT IS SfcUK NAME"? *LUCILE KOfeM, AMD HEARD ALLTHE PUAJS ON IT. f'M MARfc/ED AND HAVE: TWO CH/LDREN. TOM IS SIX AND SALLY IS Fouf^. f M6T AfY HUSBAND ON A 6LIND DATE. HE PROPOSED -fiFiee WEEKS LAISK. PLUM&ING /s HIS PKOF<SSSIOM. "This is THE FIRST Twe I'VE BEEN cw if IE AIF*. I'M NGT NERVOUS. IF I VJIN ALL THIS DOUGH fa GOING "To (T ON MYSGLF o o o DAY WHO Hg. Hw T«* 2-27- Thomas L. Stokes Chapman In Middle Of Utilities Battle WASHINGTON — Several year* ago, in the 1944 Flood Control Act specifically, Congress established the principle that in assignment and distribution of electric power from public power projects, preference should be given to public bodies, such as towns and municipalities, and cooperatives such as are created under the 1936 Rural Electrification Act, known as REA Cooperatives. That same 1944 act provides likewise, that the government could build transmission lines, itself, from .the public projects where this was essential to delivery of the power to consumers. By this method of authorizing the people, themselves, through their government and their own cooperatives, to utilize this great natural source of energy which belongs to them,'there has been an amazing extension of electrification to farms and homes such as never had occurred, and would not be possible, under private utilities. The latter had neglected the opportunity which the people, themselves, took advantage of in the truly democratic, grass roots way. Naturally, the private utilities resisted. They fought stubbornly in Congress every step of the way. cooperatives, but with distribution and sale on their own terms and to •whom they please which, in the past, has proved not only highly unsatisfactory but also expensive to the consumer. THIS IS TO report that now, while public attention is diverted elsewhere, the private utilities are engaging in the most extensive and highly financed campaign to stop this whole democratizing of electric power process seen since the early New Deal days, when the groundwork was laid for it. Broadly, and along a wide front, the aim of the private utilities is to grab off remaining choice power sites—some where the government already has done preliminary development—and to utilize them and without the preference established by law for local public bodies and JUST NOW THE fight is concentrated on the projected power development of the Niagara River, distinct from the Great Lakes-St. Lawrence Waterway also now before Congress. Offices of members of Congress are flooded with expensive propaganda in behalf of construction of this power project jointly by five private companies. That would abolish completely the preference guarantee in what is to be potentially the biggest power development In our country. The propaganda is generated by numerous private utility organizations, including the so-called National Association of Electrical Companies which pays $65,000 a year to its head and chief lobbyist, Purcell L. Smith, as well as by the state Chamber of Commerce organization. The preference clause, likewise, would be eliminated under a proposal for the New York Power Authority to construct the project. This agency was completely revamped in personnel in 1950 and in testimony here last year repudiated a previous joint agreement with the Federal government to give publio bodies and cooperatives preference. Instead, it would sell power at the bus bar, so-called, to private companies for their sale and distribution. •would retain the preference principle. The fight, underway in otfcer sectors, also has brought a conflict among government agencies. In the Pacific Northwest, for example, the movement in Washington of public utility districts,.PUDS, as they are called, to purchase and operate the Puget Sound Power and Light Company and the Washington Water Power Company, as voted by the people in several referenda, is being blocked in procedures now before the Securities and Exchange Commission here and by a ruling by the Pacific Coast Federal Reserve Board Voluntary Restraint Committee. This committee, packed with representatives of private banks and investment houses, ruled against sale to the PUDS on the ground that such would be inflationary I A THIRD alternative, offered in a, bill sponsored jointly by Senator Lehman and Rep. Franklin D. Roosevelt, Jr., would provide for Federal construction of the project but subsequent operations by the Stale of New York under terms that IN OTHER areas the Interior Department, which is in charge of the public power program, is in conflict with the Federal Power Commission which has granted private utilities licenses for remaining choice sites on river systems where the Federal government already has built upstream dams and provided for the coordinated development of the whole -system that makes the remaining sites so valuable, such aa the Roanoke River in Virginia and Kings River In California. These issues now are before the courts. In the middle of this whole battle Is Secretary of Interior Oscar Chapman, stalwart champion of power development in the public interest. As a matter of fact, in the four years that he has had charge of this program, before and since his appointment as Secretary in 1949, almost as many miles of government transmission lines have been built to serve the public as in the nine years previously. Peter Edson Is Puerto Rican Head Victim Of Politics? SAN JUAN, Puerto Rico—(NEA) —Behind the charges of "dictatorship" now being hurled at Puerto Rico's first elected governor, Luis Munoz-Marin, are a variety of motives. The charges have been made on the floor of the U. S. Senate by Republicans Owen Brewster of Maine and John M. Butler of Maryland, and by Democrat Olin P. Johnston of South Carolina. Puerto Rlcan officials say Senator Johnston's interest is easy to account for. It is traced here to Leonard D. Long, a Charleston, South Carolina, builder. He and his brother, J. C. Long, have been frequent and heavy contributors to Democrtic political campaign chests. In Puerto Rico, Leonard D. Long has had contracts for six housing: projects containing t in all some 11.000 units and valued at $65 million. Two of these projects were federal low-cost housing developments to heip rid Puerto Rico of its worst slums. Four apartment hotels and a duplex bungalow project are still under construction. Leonard D. Long also has pending in San Juan a lawsuit against the Puerto Rican government, claiming one million dollars tax exemption for the development of a new industry. This claim has been denied by Federal Court and by the Federal- Court of Appeals in Boston. Long is now suing before a Puerto Rlcan tax court. Eventually he may taka !t to the Supreme Court. nor expired. Pinero went to work for the Long interests. The new governor, Luis Munoz- Marln, took the position that Indians had been building houses on Puerto Rico long before the Spaniards and the Americans came. Housing was therefore not a new industry and not entitled to tax exemption. SENATOR Johnston's interest in this million-dollar lawsuit is of course the natural Interest of any solon in the welfare of a constituent. Back of this, however, is another etory. When Leonard D, Long first proposed his Puerto Rican housing developments in 1946, there was no Puerto Rlcp.n tax exemption law to aid new industries. After the law was passed in 1947, Mr. Long got a letter from Jesus T. Pinero, then governor of Puerto Rico, saying that in his opinion, the Long interests were entitled to this exemption. After his term a* gover- Hislory From The Times Files TEN YEARS AGO February 27, 1942 Industrial employment and payrolls were higher in January than December according to an announcement by John M. Pohlliaus, Maryland commissioner of labor and statistics. Isaac Hirsch, "father" of the city's commission form of government, restated opposition to proposed amendment affecting elected city officials at a Kiwanis luncheon. Two Climbs-landers held in Ridgeley jail on charge of "stealing a railroad." Chief C. V. Barr.corci said they were accused of steal!".-* 500 feet of rails from a lime kiin at, Short. Gap. W. Va., and a gasoline motor. 88. retired merchant., of 723 Bedford Street. Dedication of the new Methodist Church «t Centrevllle, Pa., part of the Bedford Circuit. THIS position was confirmed by the government's Executive Council and the Industrial Development Corporation. Long's reaction to 5his was to charge that he was being persecuted. . He hired a press agent in Miami and began to charge the Munoz government with dictatorship. "El Mundo," leading Spanish daily In San Juan, investigated the charges fully and in a series of article.s showed that, far from being persecuted. Lent; had been shown every consideration in modifying building codes to get his projects going. Back in Washington. Senator Butler's interest in Puerto Rico is explained solely on the grounds of his interest in government economy. Senator Butler admits he has never been in Puerto Rico. He estimates that U. S. government expends in Puerto Rico have been as high as a billion and a quarter dollars for the last 10 years. THIRTY YEARS AGO February 27, 1H22 Virginia Rae. youthful soprano, gave recital here. Martha Guntlock, critically wounded by a bullet accidentally fired at a Lonaconing dance. TWENTY YEARS AGO February 27, 19S2 Death of Michael John Griffey, FORTY YEARS AGO February 27. IftU Traffic suspended on the Romney Branch of B&O because of bridge washed o;:t by high waters near Springfield, W. Va. The People's Bank of Keyser. W. Va.. elected H. G, Buxton, president. Flood fearer: in Cumberland ss ice-gorged river rises. THE FIGURE given in Puerto Rico i.n a little under a billion. For the past year it was $130 million, but it is explained that this includes $25 million for the Army, $10 million for the Navy. $17 million in Department of Agriculture Sugar Act payments. $16 million in grants in aid for road, health and other federal programs, on the same basis given to a',1 states and Wrriuv.-ies. Puerto Rifo ha* a territorial income tax. roiiEhly comparable 'o the federal tax, which rai^e« $80 million. If the i.-lar.ri had ;r> pay federal income tax on toyi of thaf. it would admittedly so b:-r>:;<\ It. is on this basis t.ha;. Congress Sives Puerto Rico its rum Looking Sideways THE POLICE, after considerable scrabbling around, closed In on a noted bank heister the other day and, when the dust settled, good old reliable Willie (The Actor) Button had some new jewelry around his wrists and an engaging smile on his pleasant face. Willie was a bank bandit with an underworld reputation for having one concealed weapon denied most hoodlums: a slick, intelligent brain. - He also -was the greatest escape artist since. Harry Houdini began making a. living breaking out of iron boxes. None of which accomplishments pin him up as anything but a facile crook. But there is one facet of Willie's life that deserves mention and it never rated a line of print or a moment of a reporter's time until his latest arrest. Willie was a great man with a book. PATE AND circumstance have *et me alongside some noted hoodlums of our era and until Willie c.ame along I never knew one who owned a book. I remember when "Gone With the Wind" was having a sale running into thousands of copies a day and even the cats and dogs were talking about it. I ran into a spangled bandit of the times and casually mentioned the book. He first looked blank and then said: "Yeh, I better read it." When they cooled him off in the electric chair three years later he still hadn't read it. But he had asked about it in several places. I got the word that at least twice he had said: "Gimme a run-down on i that book, will yuh? I may run into a fellow who wants to know." But Willie is different, and I don't particularly care if Willie turns out to be the boldest hoodlum of the century, it remains that he had a strange, a fascinating and a, bewildering taste in reading matter. Because when they went through his tawdry $6-a-week room they found: 1. "Peace of Soul," by Bishop Pulton J. Sheen. 2. "You Can Change the World," by James Keller. 3. "In Search" by Meyer Levin. 4. "Selecting and Operating a Business of Your Own," a book describing 75 practical plans' for setting up a small business. with a noted, successful and lone wolf bank heister, let us consider the other three in their relation to a man who hives himself up in a dismal tiny tenement room and ekes out a shadowy, rabbity existence on cash drawn from a hoard which amounted to more than $7,000 when the police found him. Willie could have lived a long time and read a lot of books on that $7,000. I always go out waltzing when the conversation gets around to amateur psychiatry, being a man who confesses avidly that he knows nothing about any kind of psychiatry, but I will loiter long enough this time to say that at least three of the books betray a mind that is ill at ease with its world and which wishes to arrive at peace and decency. I am not making up a sympathy program for Willie, nor implying that he should be turned loose as a reformed and remorseful character. I do say emphatically that a man who chooses that kind of literature for his solitude is not a completely lost soul. Hal Boyle AP Reporter's Notebook NEW YORK—There is a growing feud in our house between my blonde wife and little Miss Cyclops, our new blonde television set. "You used to at least grunt back sometime* when I talked to you," complained Prances, "Now you just sit and stare at that screen as if you were hypnotized. I am sorry we ever bought that thing." "That thing" is her hate name for Cyclops, who has dominated our parlor for about a month. I,.suppose this same rivalry between 'wives and television sets is going on in millions of American homes. It is naturally hard for a wifa to understand why her husband will pay more attention to a one-eyed machine than he will to her. No wonder the wife is jealous. But you can't exactly blame the husband. In a single evening he can look into his TV set and see a debate between two Senators, a musical program, a boxing match, and an old movie. He can't get all that free entertainment by staring into his wife's eyeballs. AVOIDING the comic implications of the latter in connection IT IS impossible to read the writings of Bishop Sheen, whatever one's faith may be, without benefiting, without feeling a strong challenge for improvement and without feeling-cleansed in spirit. Father Keller's book is most plainly an •inspirational one and Levin's is not a book likely to turn anyone toward sordid crime and violence. Out of seven books lined up on his pine table, four implied that Willie, alone with himself, honed for better times and a more solid life. If ever a successful criminal openly confessed dissatisfaction with himself, Willie did in the books he read. This prim little man, a man not unlike Roland Young in appearance if Roland will forgive me, took no glory in his skilled deeds of thuggery, was not proud of his success. He hungered for forgiveness and he hungered for stature as a citizen. Also, quite obviously, he hungered and thirsted to be cleaned up to the point where he could walk outside in the sun and be a free, unhunted man. Alas, atonement can't be bought for $3.50 between covers. IMcNaucht Syndicate, Inc.) Marquis Childs Hear Washington Calling WASHINGTON — Like the old- time stock company, Congress puts on a series of dramas that have allotted time and then go off the boards. The actors say their lines, which have a pretty stale sound. And then the whole thing is sent off to the political warehouse to await the next season. The drama before the Senate for some time now has been statehood 'lor Hawaii and Alaska. One of the older chestnuts in the Congressional repertoire, it brings out some of the hammiest oratory. Unless a lot more people out in the country lake an interest in the issues that arc nt stake, it will be sent back to gather more dust. liam H. Seward as Secretary of State negotiated the purchase of Alaska from Russia nearly a century ago. People demanded to know lonely wastes of snow and ice. Yet the wisdom of Seward's action has been proved many times over. You don't have to be a military strategist to realize how serious it would be if the Soviet Union still held Alaska. Soviet bomber bases there would be a deadly threat to the whole Pacific coast. THIS DRAMA has, as do so many others, a "Gone With the Wind" quality. On one side is the Confederacy alerted by the old fear and mistrust. On the other side are those who believe the two territories are deserving of statehood and that only in this way can they become for military and economic purposes an integral part of the United States. In the middle is a gray mass of Senators who would like to be for it—or at least for Hawaiian statehood—without having to be put to the test of an outright yes or no vote. What these nervous middlemen •would like is to move Alaska off the boards without action and then prevent a test on Hawaii. Many Republicans, including Senator Robert A. Taft, are on record in favor of statehood for Hawaii. But they do not want to offend the Southern Democrats, who are fearful that four more votes will be added in the Senate against the rule of unlimited debate. Neither do they like the idea that a Senator of Oriental origin might be elected to the club. TO ARGUE that Alaska should not be admitted because so few people live up there is in effect to say that, nothing can ever be done about it. Only through statehood will a transformation be worked. Only through full equality will the stepchild grow up to maturity. Important natural resources are waiting development in the territory. Vast stands of timber can be . opened up to provide products growing scarcer each year. This in turn calls for the development of hydroelectric resources. Private enterprise should be given every opportunity to develop that power. But it Is beyond the .scope of private industry, then the Federal government should make the kind of self-liquidating' loans used to develop vast power resources in the United States. That would be possible if Alaska were a state. And plainly there will be no sizeable increase in population until a full scale effort is made to develop this untapped reservoir. SOME WHO favor the admission of Hawaii have sincere reservations about Alaska. They point out what a hugs, empty chunk of land it is, with its lar-reaching deeply in-. dented coastline. That coastline with all its indentations is said to be longer than that of the continental United States. The opponents of Alaskan slate- hood say. "Look, only 108.000 people up there." The arguments sound very much like those raised when Wil- which last, year amounted to S12 million. Senator Brewst er says hi? interest in Puerto Rico is based solely on his concern over the Island's position as a competitor socking new industries and luring some from Maine and New England. THIS IS THE heart, of Puerto Rir.o'.s famous "Operation Bootstrap," conceived by the Munoz- Marin government to the standard of living and put the island on its financial feet. This program, under Teodoro Moscoso, hopes to bring 700 to 800 small industries to Puerto Rico by 1960, to provide 100,000 new jobs in direct, employment and mar.y more indirectly. Pi;rr:n R ;••-,•) bi:i!ds new far;orv .'tnii-firee «:~,<\ l^?r;Cs their. <<> ;;-, r.f.v .luiu.-tne.s w;:h an option to buy. Thr BO', prnmer.t. offer- a.-r, trip acivar/ssp .-f a yr.ver waf - .-,> arid exemption from taxes L..-.LJ 1560, IN AN EFFORT to consolidate as much prejudice as possible, opponents of statehood point out that Alaska by the terms of the statehood bill would surrender rights to oil under submerged coastal land.s. In this way the claim of California, Texas and Louisiana to the same submerged wealth might be Jeopardized. That appeal has timeliness, at any rate. Soon, now, the Senate will be called on to decide whether the oil under the marginal sea belongs to the states or the Federal government. But essentially it is an appeal to the kind of regional selfi.shnes-s that is a denial of the very concept of union. More and more members of Con- cress seem to consider themselves as no more than special pleaders to promote local interests. More and more the well-being of the Union Rets pushed out of sight. Alaska is a In point. While it remains a stepchild, tfie territory will stay an empty outpost. (UnlUri Ffai.ure ftyndlcni*, Inr 1 So They Say Most imported cheese is made from Roats'milk and most Americans haven't got the patience to milk a goat. —Sen. William Pulbright (D., Ark.). We should not stop until we have every one of the 50.000 disciplined CommunlsLs (in America) under lock and key or deported Into the custody of thp. masters of the Kremlin -Sen. James Ka-tianfi , o M..--.0. I do :-..v hpijpve iha h" .-PIV-" ;.ba: V:P may ed.— Gen. D w i g h t THE AVERAGE WIFE is beginning to realize this, and it is giving her a feeling of hopeless inferiority. And it doesn't make her feel any better, when she goes Into the nursery to croon her child to sleep with an old. lullaby, to have her moppet say: "Cut out that rock-a-bye baby stuff, Mama. Don't you know any singing commercials?" What can a wife do? How can she fight back at this piece of talking furniture that is winning her husband and children away? Well, some wives are resorting to underhanded tactics. A friend' told me his TV repairman said: "You want to know why something's always going wrong with your set? Don't blame me. Ask your wife. Maybe it's her. A lot' of wives these days wait until their husband gets out of the house in the morning, and then they go and tamper with the TV set so it won't work. They feel that's the only -way ^hey can get their husband to listen to them." This, of course, is downright sabotage, and most wives haven't reached this desperate stage. But no woman is going to put up forever with a, rival in her own home, even if it Is only madt of metal and wood. Frances says she wouldn't stoop to smashing Miss Cyclops' tubes but threatens "I may take an ax and destroy her altogether—if you repeat last Sunday's performance." LAST SUNDAY I watched Miss Cyclops for nine hours straight and wore out a pair of pants. That's an idea. Why don't they sell "television trousers" guaranteed to last as long as the set itself. They could make them of aluminum and nylon. I invited Frances out to dinner the other evening, and she said coldly: "Aren't you going to take that thing along. too? She may get lonely without you." When I mentioned this to a fellow who has been a video fan for years, he laughed and said: "The Infatuation wears off. After a few months I found I was hardly paying any more attention to my TV set than I was to my wife." But I'm deep in the doghouse right now. I made the mistake of absent-mindedly saying, on my arrival home: "What's the program for tonight, dear?" "Well, I like that!" said Frances. "When you do break down and speak to me, you talk as if I were a television set. too." (Associated Press) George Dixon Washington Scene WASHINGTON — An international incident almost was created in the bar of the National Press Club the other day. General Carl "Tooey" Spaatz, former Air Force Chief of staff, was discussing the therapeutic qualities of strong drink with Mr. Jerry Greene, who has just been deposed as chairman of the club's bar committee for good and sufficient reasons. "My doctor," declared General SpaatB, "ordered me to take 12 ounces of whisky a day. I may say that I am a good patient. I have been following his instructions to the letter." "How do you keep track of your drinks?" asked Mr. Greene, who is of an inquiring turn of mind. "Don't you sometimes lose count?" "No," declared General Spaatz firmly. "I have an infallible method of keeping track. There are 12 ounces in one pint, so I always drink one pint." "Migawd!" howled Mr. Greene. "You're away over your doctor's prescription. There are 16 ounces in a pint!" LIKE ALL generals, the renowned ex-air force chief of staff does not care to have his statements challenged. "I have never heard such lamentable ignorance," he told Mr. Greene pityingly. "Any dolt, with the possible exception of a demoted bar committee chairman, knows there are 12 ounces in a pint." "I will bet you any amount you name, up to and including one dollar!" howled Mr. Greene, tossing all caution to the winds. "Done!" cried General Spaatz. "Sucker!" Mr. Greene summoned Mr. Monroe Ru.'.sell, tap room major demo, and hissed a command. Mr, Russell returned in a few minutes with a volume. Mr. Greene pave it a quick thumbing. When he looked tip, his face was grave with concern. "Tooey." he said. "I do not wish to alarm you unnecessarily, but all these years you have been drinking troy.' 1 "Sure," agreed General Spaatz. "One-twotroy: sometimes four-fi'-six—--" "Kindly do not, try to be a dialer.t comedian. You have been drinking troy weight., which 1.1 12 ounces to the pound. come.v in fluid measure, being ». fluid, and there are 16 ounces to the pint. One dollar, please." "Lot me look at that book," demanded General Spa at/. "It is undoubted!-.- a jioriRp- podpe of misinformation which you have had privately printed just to rob me." "PrivatPlv printed! Thi.< happens to be the 1952 World Almanac, page 472!" "HOW DO WE happen to harp a 1052 edition in This rlub M .soon?" a.=kert Brie. Gen. Jo-eph ' F. Bfi'tlpy, who natural!-.- was siding with Cm- era! Spa at?, to v. in. "Thp la-it World Almanac we had wa.-, 1S27." "Greene j'" r.'iv rhrtirman of the Hous'* Com.'ni'.t.oo." offered Mr. Warren Franr.i.'.. of L'is Angcle.- "Hi bet. hr boueht it, and sra.'her! it, away ;-<i he fould make a bet with General Spafttz and rob him of his hard-earner! retirement pay." "That's what I suspect, too." prowled GPII- o:.c ron.solfttion. I'm nway ahead oi niv do<;/i:."' The gallant w^;rior UHS pract:..;a;'.y pur.-i;.? ?.•;• :; ,-nlisfac-tkin w'nrn Mr. RobPr!. \V. rr;:.;<, \r- r.r.i] se(.rf-!.;iry <,.' the Cf-iih';:*:) r.:i'.;).i . y Hit'-r^o.-rd: "Y</.i arr- (•'«> fs; ahf.-Af;. Ti:Crp Rie 20 o.,:,-r.T "LUten," sr.arlpr; f;r;.»ra! fipsarz "yni k<>»f) :-'.'.: imperial rr.Pa-:.;-err,pr.i o: ; r. of this. I; ;, oai enough losing rr.or.r-- to an Air."r;ca.".l" (K.r.f ->••• .:•• :r,- ,

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