The Santa Fe New Mexican from Santa Fe, New Mexico • 53

Sunday, October 28, 2001 THE NEW MEXICAN G-5 Here are the pop, fluff, politically incorrect songs that musicians listen to when no one else is around By GRES KOT Chicago Tribune way. Theyre saying the same thing: We want to be perfect, with great teeth, and we dont mind people dressing us. Were into it! We know were shallow. (Expletive) you! I thought it was pretty cool. Moby His guilty pleasure: Country Grammar by best-selling rapper Nelly.

Why: I completely understood why it would be so successful when I first heard it. My friends are embarrassed for me liking it because its just so commercial. Its a great record, but one would be hard-pressed to make a case that hes as serious as some of the underground artists my friends love. 0uke Ellington once said there were only two types of music: good and bad, But what happens when bad music enchants good musicians? Music history is defined by the greatest albums, the most memorable concerts, the short list of perfectly crafted songs. But pop is the language of pleasure, and not all of those pleasures are profound, meaningful or even very good at least by the Ellingtons demanding standards.

Sometimes, its the dark secrets that provide the clearest insight into the soul of the artist. Or maybe not. In either case, we thought it would be fun to hear njpsicians try to defend the indefensible, to justify their love, as it were, for the lousy music that infects their subconscious like a particularly nasty and irrevocable computer virus. What exactly is a guilty pleasure? Ernie Isley, longtime guitarist in the Isley Brothers, provided the most succinct definition: "Emotional chocolate. Any grown- up knows that chocolate isnt good for us.

But many of us crave it anyway, and regularly indulge. Similarly, seasoned musicians often know which songs are bad for their musical health and development. But sometimes they turn em up anyway when no ones looking. Here are the guilty plea- -sures that tickle some prominent pop artists, yith their explanations. But first heres five of uiy own: Madonna, The Immaculate lection Barely competent singing, but the tunes cant be denied, even without the videos.

Ted Nugent, Wang Dang Sweet Poontang: Despicable.misogyny, but the rawwwlf doesn't get much rawer. The Buoys, Timothy: This ultra-catchy 1971 pop hit sou nds totally innocuous, until it dawns on the listener that its about cannibal- ism. Village People, YMCA: The most subversive silly song ever? A celebration of gay culture, complete with hand signals that even homophobes cant resist. Naughty by Nature, O.P.P.: Another indefensible lyric about booty, but its the best wave-em-like-you-just-dont-care rap song ever. And now, the guilt list: 1 TcrfAntss, Her guRty pleasure: The Sessions by Kruder and Dorfmeis-ter (German ambient-techno mixers).

A Why: Thats yummy its very sexy to me. Its pleasure for plea- sures sake. Im not listening to' get my musical chops and see whats going on. I kick back and take a trip. Its like ecstasy without the brain fry.

Isley Brothers singer Ills guilty pleasure: Short People by Randy Newman. Why: Its a funny song that me and my brothers would sing in the car on the way from one job to the next We just could not believe the nerve of a gyy to write a song like that he stepped way over the line. And we couldnt stop laughing about it." Lt.t Isley Brothers guitarist Ills r-y Light My Fire by Josd Feliciano. V.T:y: When I was in study hall in high school, somebody asked me, Whos the best guitar player, Jimi Hendrix or Eric Clapton? And I said Josd Feliciano. And the reaction was like, Whahhhhl But his version of Light My Fire feels like the emotional equivalent of choco-.

late. I had to play guitar after hearing that. 1 1 Tom Petty His guilty pleasure: Blue Hawaii by Elvis Presley (from Elvis Hollywood period in the 60s). Why: It really drives the whole house crazy. I had that record when I was a little kid, and I really liked it.

Now its the nostalgia that appeals to me. Its not a great album. I listen to GI Blues, too. That was the first album I ever bought, so I still know every song on it. I could groove to it now.

Not many people want to join in. Steve Albini His guilty pleasure: Im Gonna Be (500 Miles) by the Proclaimers (the sole hit from the Scottish duo). Why: I do my best to get everybody in the room singing along when that song comes on. I love that song, even though its obvious, done-to-death bar music. I like the sentiment, the wordplay.

Their voices sound absurd with that bizarre Scottish accent. And the word haver appears in it. How can you not like a song with the word haver in it? Kerry King, guitarist in Slayer His guilty pleasure: Slipknot (the mask-wearing hard rockers). Why: I get a lot of flack for liking them. I thought they were a gimmick until I finally listened and realized they remind me of us th aggression is amazing.

They are catching on, but not everybody has given them a chance. It aint just the masks. Dave IVyndorf, Monster Magnet singer His guilty pleasure: Journey to the Center of the Earth by Yes keyboardist Rick Wakeman. Why: It is about the most godawful record Ive ever heard, and yet Im drawn to it. Its so bad, I have to feel it.

Its one giant song, an adaptation of the famous science-fiction novel with narration and a choir singing stuff like, The giant turtle fights the dinosaur Andre Benjamin cf OutKast Ills guilty pleasure: Can't Touch This by M.C. Hammer. Why: Everybody disses Hammer, but I used to love Hammer. I still love Hammer. He made some nice, catchy tunes.

Furtado Her guilty pleasure: Vuelve by Ricky Martin. Why: Its his last Spanish-lan-guage CD. I can vovich for Spanish Ricky Martin. Its got really great vocals. Im a sucker for some good vocals, Spanish or any language.

I also really like Selena. I have this soft spot for really sweet ballads. And I liked Jon Secada when I was younger. Tom Pettys guilty pleasure Is Elvis Presleys Blue Hawaii from Elvis Hollywood period In the 60s. It really drives the whole house crazy.

Now Its the nostalgia that appeals to me. Why: Its a fun, goofy track. I love the groove, the humor, the complete who-cares attitude toward musicianship. It means nothing, (its) a throwaway piece of puff, a piece of candy, but every time it comes on the radio 1 like it. tlzik i Her guRty pleasure: Snowflakes are Dancing by Ibmita (the song is a 70s synthesizer interpretations of Debussy).

Why: Its like the soundtrack to Bambi and Snow White and everyone jumping in the snow together. Its terrible, yet gorgeous. Its like having a private marshmallow feast. I recommend it if youre in love and you want to be in that fluffy cloud and not go off it. I Iwiaiail'a FMlUVl vil I liar guilty pleasure: Whatever Will be, Will Be (Que Sera, Sera) by Doris Day (the 1956 hit from the movie The Man Who Knew Too Much).

Why: I have a weird happy memory of Doris Day standing at the top of the stairs singing her heart out. She was not embarrassed about singing this stupid song. If you sing it like you mean it, its quite beautiful." i. trty plaasure: Dalmatian Plantation from the original 1961 soundtrack to 101 Dalmatians. Why: That was the first record I ever had as a kid.

So when I hear Dalmatian Plantation, I have to sing with it, no matter where I am. The dogs harmonize at the end. Michael (Jackson) actually brought that up just the other day, and it took me right back. He said, You ran that song right into the ground, it used to make people sick. Ciysn Ferry His guilty pleasure: Goodbye to Love by The Carpenters.

Why: There is a fantastic guitar solo at the end. I like the girls voice. Its a schmaltzy tune, but very compelling somehow." Iwmi I CBpe4 Ills guly pleasure: Diamonds are a Girls Best Friend by Marilyn Monroe. Why: I sing along in the mirror, and dress up. Marilyn Monroe is an amazing singer, but she had to sing these ridiculous songs the irony of it all.

Some of those no-holds-barred arrangements in the 50s were such schmaltz. But this is definitely better than the version Nicole Kidman (did for Moulin Rouge)." Ccrczn KIs guilty Fissure: NSYNC, Pop Why: Its sort of the antithesis of (the Smashing Pumpkins) Cherub Rock, which was saying, (Expletive) you, I dont want your indie-rock b.s. I want to do it my Amy Hey of the Indigo Girls Her guRty pleasure: Hotel California by the Eagles. Why: I wasnt embarrassed when I first loved it, but now I am. I listen to those songs now and cringe, but inside Im still gleeful.

The whole concept the cocaine, the girls, the California macho-guy thing. This will never make the feminist recommended list. But the songs are so great, I keep coming back to it. I v.v former Police drummer Fi ly Walk Like an Egyptian by the Bsngps. I 2.