The Evening News from Harrisburg, Pennsylvania • Page 10

PAGE TEN THE EVENING NEWS, HARRISBURG, WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 26, 1932 JUST FOLKS By EDGAR A. GUEST Copyright. 1832. Edward Quest Europe Day by Day By O. O.

McINTYRE By the McNaurht 'Syndicate. Inc. CopyriKht. 183a Established February 15. 3017 i Published every eventn except Sunday by TUB PATRIOT COMPANY 11 North Market Square, Pa, CONVERSATION President Secretary and Treasurer and General Manamr Krtltnr Editor vakce c.

Mccormick henry b. richard m. h. dean hoffman V. HUMMEli BERQHAUS.

Address communications to THE EVENING NEWS Editorial Business or Circulation Departments, not to Individuals. Call Bell S22. Same number reaches all departments. Single copy. 2 cents; 10 cents per week delivered.

Entered aa second class matter at Harrlsburf P. O. REPORTING A There Were two pale and weary men who sat them down to dine. Through months and months of bitter loss they'd oft been heard to whine; But strangely as they chatted there I'll swear I heard one say: "The times are hard, but still I'm glad that I'm on earth today. "I started as a boy to work and when I'd gained the top I hoped in just a year or two forever I could stop; WEDNESDAY, THE ONCE OVER By H.

I. Why Not Jazz Up the Campaign? Copyright. 1032, by Associated Newspapers The presidential campaign is boring people. It lacks hot-cha. The candidates don't seem to realize that America has outlived the old mediums of spotlight grabbing.

They have overlooked the fact that campaign speeches, an occasional ride in the locomotive cab ami i i i i i i ii ill Buiuo lULciniuicin, uauy Kissing are standards of sensationalism. Huey Long, of Louisiana, and Dr. "Goat Glands" Brinkley, of Missouri, are the only two politicians in America who are outstanding campaign successes, and they both put on a combination medicine snow, radio program and musical revue, replete with low comedy and plenty of what Jimmy Durante calls "thisa and thata." RED TAGS IF THE enforcement of the'city's parking regulations is regarded as a fizzle, the finger of responsibility cannot be placed on the Traffic Squad. Too many persons can readily testify that these policemen are doing a full-sized duty in sticking red tags under windshield wipers in Market Square and other restricted parking areas. The vigilance of the police in this matter is entitled to commendation.

It is the only way that a start toward enforcement' can be made but that alone will not accomplish the purpose. There must be full hearted co-operation at City Hall. To keep the printing presses hot turning out red tags will be a fatuous waste unless the tags are affixed to offending automobiles and the owners of the cars do lawful penance for their negligence or defiance of a city ordinance. While the fines imposed for parking violations ought not be a consideration in the enforcement of these regulations, they will represent in some measure the effectiveness of enforcement. If the fines do not gen-rally match the tags, it means that somewhere along the line something has slipped, that the traffic policeman's work has been in that somebody perhaps has a "drag" at City Hall and that favoritism is being practiced in enforcement of the law.

One hopes that none of these things occur, but one hears so much of red tags never returned and nothing further heard of them that it is difficult to sustain such hopes. The loss of the money in that event is a small matter, even in these days when every penny of revenue counts. The really serious thing is the suspicion that some drivers can ignore the parking rules with impunity and that others must sweat for it. Such dis The Republican campaign managers don't know the first thing about mass appeal. They should have had President Hoover catch a ball thrown from the top 6f the Washington Monument, fly across the Country on an attempt for a new coast-to-coast record, take a trip in Professor Beebe's bathysphere and go trout fishing with Marlene wieiricn ana wara cow.

mat would nave stirrerd America. And where have the Democratic managers been? Asleep at the switch. How much more of a figure Franklin D. Roosevelt would be at this minute if between speeches he had made a dirigible flight over Broadway by night with an unknown opera singer, picked the Yank3 to win in four straight games, ridden with Gar Wood in a record- OCTOBER 26, 1932 job to keep step with a fif INSANE" Ine swell knife Tarzan had, wasn't it, huh?" breaking motorboat epic and acted as master of ceremonies with a jazz orchestra during some cigaret hour? The campaign has had no pace, no pep, no pazzazza. Here's a program for a presidential candidate: Monday.

10 a. m. Round of golf with Babe Ruth. 1 p. m.

Lunch with Mae West. 3 p. m. Parachute drop from a speeding airplane with six Rasch dancers. 5 p.

m. Analysis of Saturday football games. 8 p. m. Crooning of popular songs over a National Tuesday.

9 a. m. Attempt rocket trip into stratosphere. 3 p. m.

Deny engagement to Texas Guinan. 5 p. m. Public attempt to eat four quarts of oysters at one sit-tine. i UNCOMMON SENSE By JOHN BLAKE Look at the Road Map Copyright, 1932.

by The Bell Syndicate, Ine. AT SEA, Oct. 26. The ship; swarms with notables. On first swing of the promenade, tha extraordinarily Woolworthian Rob- ert E.

Sherwood, New York City'3 own gift to playwrighting, towered above all others. I hallowed a greeting as he leaned around a curve. And can he lean! In contrast a little further on; came the equally distinguished international lawyer, Col. Joseph! Hartfield, a dynamo of wisdom and good cheer. Also, the gentleman, who gave Broadway its glow inl the dead and gone days Jimmy, Thompson.

His quiet cynicism, too, pricked many Broadway wind bags. As silent backer of the famous! Palais Royal, where you never saw: him, he gave Paul Whiteman a leg up to the jazz throne. A toss of lucent yellow bobbing along proved to be the elfin Clare Luce, Follies dancer, who with her husband. Cliff Smith, young sportsman, re turns to New York for a new play. South Bend's contribution to.

cosmopolitanism Cole Porter iJ also a passenger. His tunes ar3 still whistled, notably those front "Fifty Million Frenchmen." Port ter, since quitting the north enil of a southbound plow, graces 4 Normandy chateau and in this ar cadia enlivens revues in PariPj London, New York. Others I notice in the passing parade are Kathleen Howard, oncd of the Metropolitan Opera and noW living in Paree; Keith Clark, oil London music halls; Billie Kay, New York milliner, the ruddtf mayor of Bordeaux, M. Marquet, and several others whose faces ara familiar but whose names I do noli know. LEARN from Cole Porter ha.

was the knave who threw into a cyclonic fury at the Fras cati in Havre before shoving off Over the phone I asked for tha porter to order ice water and in typical French telephonic mixupi got Mr. Porter. I asked for ice water and he asked mv name. I told him. In simulated French ac cents he inquired why I desired ica water.

Patiently, I explained ta drink. I was asked if I could wait until tomorrow. Assuming he did not understand, I repeated a re quest tor water pronto. Then he-asked my age and I saw red. "You are not the gentleman," the voice protested.

"Cochon!" I screamed. Then I was called a cow France's most hated opprobium. In a ponder of syllables, he suggested a duel. Not being any great shakea as a swordsman, I hung up. I still feel silly.

A fascinatine lookiner vovaa-er I trot after him like a dog the cov ered wagon is a Russian with a I glossy black beard and a mathe- matically precise snow-white spot the size of a silver dollar on each side. With monocle, hair stiffly, en brosse and eyebrows in impu dent peaks, he looks werry. weery wicked. Then a prim lady, in disembodied pensiveness, walking the rolling deck knitting and never missing a stitch. Once a lurch sent her into a quick sidewise run, but she carried on.

On top deck this afternoon I stretched out in the sun's crimson glow, clad only in running I thought I was alone in my semi- nudity, but a smoke-belching funnel obscured a youthful Romeo and Juliet a mutual clutch of adulta-tion. They were indulging monosyllabic murmurs of "my adorable" and "sweet." With! a bow and arrow I might hava passed for a second-hand cupid. A DISTRESSED passenger, a native of "Deac" Aylesworth'a Iowa corn-belt, left a patented powder furnishing cleavage for aa upper plate in nis Paris hotel. Without it, his teeth wobbled so ha could not talk or eat. But a ship is alive to every emergency He tells me the surgeon furnished gum arabic, and that solved his problem.

"But," he sighed, "I have a taste like the burned hoof of a horse." The perky flapper who flits through the salons with moth-lika furtiveness, mannishly. puffing a thimble-size pipe, came a cropper this afternoon. Too long a session quaffing pernods and rinsing Broadway scandals in the bar had squeezed the elan out of her Paris frock, topsy turvied a sleek coiffure, and otherwise made her a sight Her head drooped on a table ringed with many glasses Some one salvaged a plumbing" card sign to stack at her elbow, reading: "Out of Order!" In contributing chit-chat for I'Atlantique, the ship's daily, I credited Robert Sherwood with au- thoring the play, "Helen of Troy.n It was, of course, "The Road to Rome." Anyway, I knew it was one of the larger Swiss cities. crimination is vicious in. the American scheme of the square deal, and it ought not be countenanced.

The fifteen-minutes parking regulation in Market Square, has been demonstrated to.be practicable. And it is so, because the policemen detailed there are closely But all my dreams of Idleness and luxury, need I tell, Were shattered in those frightful weeks when market values fell. "'Now beaten back to humbleness and stripped of pomp and pride, Again I'm at the daily tasks, where strength and wit are tried, I'm on the job from dawn to dusk, brain-fagged and muscle-sore, And yet it's good to have to work and fight for gains once more." PHItLIPS oiu siun in a wona ruiea Dy new that a person was mighty white-livered if he didn't have at least a couple of good, red-hot hates under way. In vain wiser souls warned me that hating didn't pay; quoted the Biblical injunction to "turn the other cheek." Noble words; but not for me! Anyone who slapped my cheek got what was coming to him, plenty and pronto! So I grew up, bristling; went out into life looking for trouble. Found it on every side.

Countless chances to feel insulted. Constant provocations to hate. And how I did hate! And the years went on. Rich years, filled with a diversity of opportunity. A man could do what he wishes with those years.

Take the opportunity he preferred. Accomplish what he pleased. I saw my friends accomplishing much. Saw them achieving good work; building quiet, pleasant friendships. I wanted to do good work, too.

I wanted to have quiet, pleasant friendships. But I had only so much GENTLEMEMH WELLr WHAT IV Hor-iE a checking cars. It is a real If you are touring without wanting to go anywhere in particular, you don't need to take a road map along. Any turning, which seems interesting, can be followed, and if the going turns out bad you can come back and start all over again. But if you have some particular objective in view you had better take a road map and look at it frequently.

It is pretty much the same with the Big Tour. You may know where you want to go, but you depend on the road map made by the experience of your fellows to show you the way. It will point out not only where the easy roads are, but it will also reveal shorter routes, which are more difficult but which will save you time if you negotiate We travel this life primarily to get to some fixed destination. Not only do we want to arrive there, but we want to take the most interesting route, and eee all the wonders that lie in our way, or not too far cut of it. In that case we must look at the road map not only at the start, but constantly as we travel.

Now and then as we pause and unfold it, we will discover that by taking just a slight detour we can easily reach some spot we long have heard of and always wanted to see. Then, if we have any intelligence, we will postpone our projected time of arrival and some given destination, and add a little enjoyment to the journey. When I first visited New England the main roads were nothing for the natives to boast about, and the side roads would have baffled an ox team. Today the main roads are so smooth and easy that it is a pleasure to journey over them, yet constantly I see signboards giving the names 7. p.

m. Announce self as one of the Wendel heirs. Wednesday. Disappear for forty-eight hours. Thursday.

Remain in hiding while campaign managers circulate story of kidnaping and ransom demand. Friday. Show up and indorse a tooth paste. Saturday. Be named in suit as a Love Pirate.

Sunday. Announce plans to go over Niagara Falls in a barrel with Peggy Joyce and Queen Marie of Rumania. Speeches my eye! If a candidate wants to attract attention these days he must know what to do. NEW LOW FOR THE MOVEMENT You may have seen the eagle fall, The race horse lose its stride You may have seen the sweeping waves Drop with the ebbing tide; You may have seen a giant crash, But here's one simple truth You ain't seen nuthin' 'til you've seen That Yale team without Booth! The trouble with the Yale football team is that the ten other boys regard the runner as the Forgotten Man. USELESS The Steel Corporation has reduced the price of steel for railroad tracks, but with business in its present condition what do railroads want with tracks? One of the ways to annoy a suburban home owner these autumn days is to play "Melody of the Leaves." teen-minute parking regulation.

A lot of policeman's chalk is used in the process, but the thing can be done because it has been done. Vacant spaces in the parking area are more common than they used to be. This condition will continue to prevail in this and other sections of the city only if the traffic policeman's work is supported farther up the line. If such support is not given, then it will be only a short time until the motorists realize that a red tag means nothing, in which event double parking and all the other nuisances will multiply. "CRIMINAL 9 lMfb Metropolitan Mmpepet restart Sentc.

Orest Bntain rights memC "Gee, Jimmie, that was a Aunt Het By ROBERT QUILLEN "I know I was hateful to start a quarrel with Pa about nothin', but I'd been needin' a good cry for a week an' I Wouldn't get started." CoDy't. 1932. Publishers' Syndicate time, so much energy; and I was using most of that time and energy in hating. For hating, if you're going to make a good job of it, is a full time chore, and the more you do of it the more you have to do. So there isn't much chance to do anything else.

Years going on. More and more years. And then, one day, I began to take stock. What had 1 done in all those years? What had I missed? I had done so little, save hate. I had missed so much.

I had paid such a terrific price for hate. Those people whom I hated, because they had hurt me if they could know what my hate cost, how delighted they would be. For my own hate was doing me more harm than they could ever have hoped to do! When at last I realized that, I saw the truth. Hate didn't pay. No matter how great the provocation, hate didn't pay.

I had thought Jesus Christ was wrong when He said to "turn the other cheek" to those who would harm you. But He was speaking deepest wisdom. It was better to turn the other cheek. It was better to let yourself be harmed, again and again, without seeking revenge, than it was to hate. For one second of your own hate hurt you more than a million years of the other fellow's harm.

Hate didn't pay and you didn't have to hate if you didn't want to! You could refuse to hate, if you wished, just as you could refuse to do anything else. It wasn't easy, particularly if you had fceen accustomed to let yourself bo. But it could be done and I determined to do it. A refuse to hate. I'm no saint.

I don't nretenrl to love those who maliciously hurt me, but I have found that I can be indifferent to them. I can refuse to be demoralized by their malice, just as I can refuse to be demoralized by tiresome show, or a poor meal or1 WOULD YOU LIKE TO HAVE fOOFl MAJL BROUGHT IN MER mhi tit of nearby places I long nave heard of, but never have seen. Then I get out the road map, and if these places can be reached without too much strain on the old bus, I turn aside and journey to them. Life is by no means a one-way street. There are on every journey countless little side roads, and though some of them take us in a reverse direction, they are worth traveling.

But always we must keep our bearings, know where we want to go and how to get there, and prepared for rough going if it comes along. There are road maps for us in our working days at home maps, which show us the routes we mu6t travel, and the best ways to go where we have-planned to go. The world is no longer a wilderness, which must be conquered before we can discover its pleasant spots. It, like the course of life, has been pretty well mapped and charted. If we don't find the road worth traveling, it will be our fault, not that of the countless generations who have "spied out the land" and made the roads smooth, and safe, and interesting.

Most of the cases of disaster are due to failing to take out road maps with us when we start, and being unable to consult them constantly as we travel. LISTEN, WORLD! By ELSIE ROBINSON Copyright. 1032. by Kins Features Syndicate. Inc.

AST spring the State of Iowa hanged one, Joseph Altringer after convicting him of the murder of a 12-year-old boy. After the execution, a doctor experienced in psychopathic research conducted an extensive examination of the criminal's brain; and now he reports that the man was suffering from a brain disease and should have been sent to an insane asylum instead of to the gallows. If there ever was a straightforward, unanswerable argument for the revision of our criminal court practice, this surely is it. As things are, the "insanity defense" is overworked in cases where there is no justification for it, and yet fails utterly to protect men who ought to come under its provisions. How many other men, do you suppose, have gone to the scaffold when, like Joseph Altringer, they should have been sent to an institution for the mentally sick? I REFUSE TO HATE I refuse to hate.

Hating is one of the things I have decided not to do. I refuse to do it as coolly, but as finally, as I refuse to eat snails, ride on scenic railroads or sit through stupid movies. Other people may enjoy snails, thrill to scenics or be willing to waste time on tiresome films. All right That's up to them. But as for me, nothing doing! So, on the same principle, I refuse to be sickened, bored, pestered, inflamed or hindered in my life's progress by hate.

I do not always take this high-minded attitude toward hate. To the contrary, I was one of the best two-fisted haters you've ever seen. I made a regular art of hating. I could think of entirely original and unique ways of hating and "getting even" that would have done credit to a Comanche. And I was proud of hating.

1 thought that all regular people held grudges and conducted feuds, and AM' FUfrHERMOE-LADlE' a muddy street. Life is full of unpleasantness. One must learn to stand it. Malice is just one of life's inevitable unpleasantnesses. One can learn to stand that, too.

So I try to take malice as coolly as I take mud. I don't like malice. I don't like mud. But neither of them can harm me if I keep them outside. So, just because Tm selfish, just because I want to' get the most out of refuse to hate.

That may not be a very saintly reason: but it works swell with me. Try it. on the head during the operation." "Oh, that's nothing. We just ran short of chloroform, that's all!" The Humorist. CUTTING IN Margery had been watching a fashionable wedding from outside the church.

Returning home she reported: "Well, I can't make out who she married. She went in with quite an old man and when she came out she was with a different one altogether." Boston Transcript. HER DISAPPOINTMENT Eunice. I was terribly embarrassed yesterday while out bathing. Flora.

What happened? Did that young man insult you? Eunice. No. but after he had come to my aid when I called for help I had to save him from drowning. Pathfinder. Another way to provide jobs for all able-bodied men is to keep on ragging Japan.

Blessed are the obscure. People aren't tempted to throw thing3 until somebody is lifted above the crowd. The trouble is that one-half of the world doesn't care whether the other half lives. Yet no great leader of the International Feature Serclca. post could have won fame if none had followed except those on the payroll.

Leaders shouldn't expect too much. The crowd always quits following when there are no more YEAH' Afj THERE4 r- MORE COMIN YET- ME? THE OFFICE I lC" I FLOODED WTH iSW crvl IF ANYONE INJTH15 CITY KiM FiMO AMY REASOM WHY I shouldn't be elected WOR Of Tmb ClTYro LIKE. To HEAR FROM 'COO- JuT. WRITE TO NJE AT fOT ty I I I I APA Hi I loaves and fishes. "What would George Washington do if he lived now?" Well, for one thing, he'd go to jail if he lived as he did in the old days.

The bonus was promised and must be paid. But there's only one way to get nine gallons from a three-gallon cow. Americanism: Compensating the vet who drilled for three months; doin nothing for the rest of us who work for the Government three months of every year. These people who write jokes about the plumber's faulty memory never got an itemized bill from one of them. They're always that way, Mr.

President. They threw Jonah overboard because a storm came up. mi, Kin Fbmurs SraJiote, tee, Gim Brttrt ngtin nnr.