Logansport Pharos-Tribune from Logansport, Indiana on May 2, 1891 · Page 2
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Logansport Pharos-Tribune from Logansport, Indiana · Page 2

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Logansport, Indiana
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Saturday, May 2, 1891
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Page 2
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CULTURE AT A DISCOUNT. Bad Story of a Man Who Came to New York to Get Rich. He Hail n University Training; and Lofty Aspirations, nut He 19 Sow Kunnlnc a Provision Store in Goose Falld, ,Wo—A Sustaining Thought. ICOrYRIGIlT, 1S81.1 He had drifted into Now York, as so many young- men do, with a genera! notion of getting 1 rich, and no particular idea about it except that the sooner his friends and enemies at home (especially the latter) were made aware of his distinguished success the better he shoulc feel about it. His capital consisted ol 2513 and a college education. lie had no •fear of hard work because he didn't know what it was. Perhaps I should have included in my schedule of his assets a letter of introduction to myself. The writer of this valuable document was a man i< whora I had forgiven and forgotten. The sight of his hand-writing upon the envelope recalled his existence to me, and awakened a faint hope that he might have experienced a change of GETTING A JOB. heart, and have thus been led to return the ten dollars he borrowed of me in the fall of 1SS1. But no: he wrote in a cheerful vein, and the shadow of remorse did not darken the page. It gave him great pleasure to introduce his young iriend, Thomas Brown. "He's a thoroughly good fellow," the letter went on." ''He deserves everything you can do for Mm. Treat him just as you would me." I glanced up at Brown and wondered how he would look if he realized that his friend had requested me to kick him downstairs. "He's been highly educated." said the tetter; "I should think you ought to get him the editorship of something. It would bo right in his line, for he has already shown great literary ability." Granting this to be true there could be no doubt that Thomas was distinctly superior to most of the editors I knew, but I could not immediately call to mind any of those who would resign ia Thomas' favor on having the facts laid .before them. The assistant sporting Editorship of the Pictorial Police Record was temporarity vacant owing to a little trouble at the Gilligan-Smith mill, but I understood that the bullet had been sxtraeted, and that the distinguished journalist was expected to be out of the hospital within a few weeks. I mentioned this vacancy to Thomas, but he said that he would prefer something permanent. "It would seem wiser," said he, "to select at the ontset some position where oay superior mental attainments will ."insure my success and advancement." "Mr. Brown," said I, "in these days a lollege education is of no account whatever except when you haven't any, and then it is a tremendous disadvantage." "But many of our college graduates have made money in New York," he persisted. "Take your own case, for example." "My dear young friend," said I, "in the rural districts from which some of us emanate our careers are seen through a glass darkly. When we come to the metropolis news of our death by starvation is anxiously awaited during the first few months. This expectancy. is relieved from time to time by rumors that we are coming home to live on the old folks. When we don't do either of these things it is reported that we are making untold wealth and spending it in wild, uncanny orgies so that the gilded dens of vice resound with the din of onr unhallowed mirth. In reality it is our landlord that is getting rich, while we rub along in twenty-five-cent 1 —=-r— v HIS UNCLE'S OITLY HEIR., reversible socks and meditate suicide -regularly on the first of every month. I iiave a diploma from our most ancient •university, but my old silver bull's- eye watch has often helped me to a "breakfast." "John Henry Claggs, who graduated in '85, is said to be worth over half a -.million," said'Brown. "Clafrgs has got rich, I admit, and he's a first rate sample of the men who make money in New York. He did it trith'a single idea, which came to him like a flash. He advertises to forward dtor one dollar a prescription for rheumatism, and he gives an iron-clad guarantee that he will pay one hundred dollars for every case not cured within xrae week. He has made a fortune; has aiever cured anybody vat; has never "been called upon to pay his hun dred dollars forfeit; and yet the l can't touch him, for he sends the pre seription every time." "That seems impossible." "It is true. He has made his pre scription entirely of chemical curiosi ties. The drugs are so rare that it ivould cost about ten thousand dollars to make a tablospoonful of the medicine The dose recommended Is a wineglass ful before each meal. A man under that treatment couldn't aft'ord to ca more than once in sixteen years, const qucntly nobody has yet been able to show that the thing ^sn't a sure cure That's the only way to make money in this town. Get up a saie and artisti system of robbery." Brown was so nrach depressed by this conversation that I began to pit] him: aud during- the next few days : kept a sharp eye out for a position tha 1 would suit him. Of course I didn't fine any. Meanwhile, he was .writing- edi torials and sending them to one of th leading- papers. They didn't get into print. Nothing that he wrote go further than the waste basket /luring the first two weeks; and then, inspired by hunger and mortification, he wrote a personal letter to the editor which was full of the most bitter denunciation By mistake, he mailed it to another newspaper office, and it was printed with some slight alterations, in the ''peoples' column." It was really a masterly effort at defamation of character, andii led to his being engaged at a small salary to abuse the editors of cstecmec contemporaries and certain members o: the city government, but this triumph filled Brown so completpty with the milk of human kindness that he couldn't have said anything derogatory of the devil, and so he lost his place. I met him a few days after this disappointment and lent him five dollars with which to "stand off" his landlady, who was becoming importunate. He had not yet begun to -despair, but he was getting impatient and was inclined to rail at New York as a place where the recognition of genius was disgracefully slow. During the following week, by great good fortune, I secured a place for Brown in the employ of a firm of publishers. Raggs & Co. had been looking for a man who had a wide acquaintance with literature and an empty stomach. The former would enable him to 511 the position and the latter would induce him to take it at twelve dollars a week. Brown was to read manuscripts. The idea delighted him. He had every sort of confidence in his literary judgment, and felt so sure of rapid advancement that he borrowed ten dollars more of me, and agreed to settle up within two weeks. On this occasion he had a great deal to say abont the value of being surrounded by a lit- srary atmosphere. I thought of the stuff which Raggs & Co. publish and shuddered, I saw Brown quite frequently during bhe first week; once during the second, ind not at all in the third. At the end of that time I called at the office of Raggs fc Co., to see what had become of him— and my fifteen dollars. I met old Raggs himself. "Well, he ain't here any more," said Raggs, in that classical English which •ong familiarity with ten-cent detfict- LOSIXG A •TOB. ve stories has given him command of; 'I had to fire him. He came near re- iecting the best thing ever offered to axe. Look at that"—and he showed me Dhe proof of a title page, bearing a picture of woman coming down a lad- 3er in a gale of wind—"there's the best title I ever saw. Anybody reading it tvould think that the story was the most corrupting that ever was issued, whereas there isn't a word in it that iomstoek could fasten his paws onto. SYhy, sir, I paid the author over fifty Sollars for his novel, and yet your man Jrown said the story was utterly worthless. What do you think of that 'or literary judgment?" I admitted that it was fearfully bad. whatever way you looked at it. I met 3rown shortly after leaving Kaggs & .'s office. He was standing at the in- ;ersectioa of two streets, and he f rank- y confessed that he was trying to de- aide by a process of pure reason, which one of the four corner saloons set out Jie best free lunch. He had no data >ut the appearance. of their exteriors, and the feeling of .his own interior, which naturally predisposed him toward ;he nearest one. I lent him a dollar, and received his blessing as collateral security. Well,. I haven't time to follow Brown down into the dismal dungeons of despondency, whither an experience of not more than four months in the. metropolis led him. He-came here weighing one hundred and sixty-seven pounds, and puffed up with confidence. In a lew brief moons his. weight had gone down to one-hundred and forty and his confidence to zero. He had told me on •he first day that he would never go >ack to his home in Maine except as a distinguished visitor. Of .course he didn't phrase it just -that way, but his meaning was obvious. He- had reached a great center of culture and literature. le felt great forces steaming- within liin, and they were bound to drive him lead firstthrough all obstacles.. Dccnoneci mm, and lie was willing to shout "Let her go, Gallagher," and join the procession at the fc-ont end. It took, as I have said, about four months to knock all this out of him. A the expiration of that chastening ex pcrience he came to me and said; "Mr Fielding, my uncle in Goose Falls, Me. has died, and left me sole heir of hi provision store. Think of it—a provision store! At this moment there an barrels of crackers and pounds o cheese waiting for me at Goose Palls And they are all mine, I can cat, an. eat, and eat; and if my own voracity drives me to bankruptcy I shall at leas have had a square meal. Lend m enough to pay my fare. .1 will mort gage the store as soon as I get there and send you the money. I don't-wan to ride in a parlor car. Four month ago I should have insisted upon it, bu now 1 am willing to go as freight. D not talk to me of blighted ambition o blasted hopes. The thought of tha cracker barrel in Uncle Jabez's stor sustains and comforts me." HOWARD FIELDING, J>on't Tliroivup tlie Sponge! That hideous og-re. Giant Despair often fastens his clutch up on th chronic invalid. Constantly plagued by dyspepsia, biliousness and const! pation—nervous and sleepless too— what wonder is it that having- tried in vain a multitude of useless reraedie be is ready, figuratively speaking, "throw up the sponge." Let the unfortunate "take heart of grace,'' 1 Hos tetter's Stomach Bitters can and wil put a terminus to his trials. It strengthens the stomach, confers nervous vigor by promoting assimilation of the food, arouses the liver when dormant, and relaxes the bowels with out pain. The ability to digest and assimilate restored, the ability to sleep follows. Nothing; then can stay the renewal of health but imprudence Hostetter's Stomach Bitters, more over, transcends all others as a remedy for malarial, rheumatic and kidney complaints. A wineglassful three tin •( a day. to6 Something New In Corn—Sew Kiln J»ricd;Corn Meal. This process retains all the sweets and nutriments of the corn. It is this process that has given Kentucky and Virginia its great reputation for corn meal. To be had at the leading groceries. We are also manufacturing pure whole wheat flour. This is also on sale at all the leading groceries in one-eighth barrel packages. There is more nutrition in this flour than in s,ny other made. We are now prepared to grind corn for feed in any quantities declld&wtf D, & C. H. UHL. IT'S A FACT.—If anything in the world will make a man of common sense feel meaner than anything else, xcept when he pinches his fingers in a crack of the door, it is when he has ttada quarrel with his wile. Quarrelsome people usually are bilious, and have a bad liver, and should always keep a bottle of Dr. White's Dandelion in the house as a safeguard against family jars. Sold by D. Pryor and B. F. Keeslinn;. _ to2 A Fonl-MontJied Woman is even worse than a foul-mouthed man. But no one need be foul-mouthed if they will only use SOZODONT and ub it in well. Don't spare the brush and spoil the mouth as some parents do with their children when they withhold the rod, to29 ver Fifty years. Vn Old and Well-Tried Remedy—Sirs. 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