The Modesto Bee from Modesto, California • 4

rxx MODKvro iynuo mem MONDAY SEPTEMBER 17 1933 Modesto Evening News rkllh4 Dllr Kimp PuILhfn Craettr Comail-r nna fieiteal Kvnin Hw EDITORIAL and COMMENT LEADING NEWSPAPER Member Audit Bureau of Circulations A Change of Program Every Week AWFUL NOISE THE REFEREE By ALBERT APPLI sort out bis workmen for promotion to foremen If a man brlngir his lunch In hie pocket Just a pair of aamtwlches and an apple he won't do He haan't the energy But It a workman brings down a big tin buckeL full of food he Is a likely prospecL HI machinery is developing power By GEORGE BRITT NBA Service Welter CHICAGO Sept 17 Under one of the signs of the three golden balls on Clark street there trades an who all the traditional person earmark of hia eallr not omitting eloquent horlsontal geatures with hla hands wears a diamond ring which could The Chinese before the white man began selling rifles to them uaed to amuse us by wearing false faces and malting frightful racket especially with brass gongs to scare their enemies in battle But maybe the Chinese knew what they were doing after all Prof A Low English scientist predicts that noises will play an important part in future warfare says Low "has a very curious effect on human beings The more civilized they become the more noise affects them Lots of people In the last war were sent into a serious condition by the nerve-racking effect of noise 1 can imagine the aggressive use of selected noises to undermine tfec morale of population and the development of all sorts of anti-noise devices" HURCV UP' I ve urmT Tfksm One of the best sights In Chicago la a Jackknlf6 bridge raised to let a boat paaa Picture the street ahead standing upright for 100 feat or mors In the air Pari la no more a city of bridges than Chicago In compensation for their plcturesqueneas however Chi-rago endures the Inconvenience of traffic Interruptions whenever the bridges open More than ir dozen bridges are direct gateways to the OuR ACT Jfti "Of SEBVW be described only as a The visitor will be amazed however at the apparent modesty which causes the flashing set to be turned Inside and shows only a gold band on the back of the hand An explanation is requested talk this way" answers waving his extended palms from side to side see iny diamond if I turn him around can IV Were you ever in a keyed-up nervous condition where even slight noises made you jumpf The rasp of a file the squeak of new shoes the monotonous drumming of fingers or shrill whistling of a boy these are described by nervous people as "enough to drive one crazy" Noise even iu a condition of healthy nerves is shocking to the nervous system a marvel that people in civilization are as sane as they ure considering the thousands of blow or shocks that reach their nerves daily in the form of noises Later as cities become larger and noisier be cam-migns against the more annoying sounds just as there now a "silence near every hospital Loop on the north and west and each ran be relied on to give a "stick 'em up" to business 20 or 30 times a day Fortunately nature is quick to protect tft The miller gets so he ignores or hear the rumble of his millwheels Ho too we get so the fearful din of civilization passes in one ear and out the other without our noticing it This is because the power of receiving a sensation becomes more or less par-ulyzed by repitition If you ever grieved over the raucous voice of the beauties who demonstrate fountain pens bunion removers and cleaning fluids in drug store windows let this bring comfort Chicago just passed through an epidemic of demonstrations with an alluring salesgirl at work behind the glass at every corner A horn The big news around the Labor Day week-end was NOT the Japanese earthquake not for motor car vacationists A Chicagoan just returned from an automobile trip to Waifhlngton and received his first information about the tragedy To get away from routine he had avoided all newspapers His only news came from- conversations with other tourists There had been no talk about the Ilempsoy-Flrpo fight none about Greece and Italy One casual acquaintance told our traveler that some automobile driver had been killed but forgot his name Tourist talk was confined to the subjects of roads tire troubles and traffic cops By their lunches ye shall know them A construction company superintendent Uqre uses that test to elSP r-- projecting from the window emitted 4 CLOWN Pete Conklin veteran clown is said to be the last surviving performer of the original Barnum circus lie has been clowning for 70 years Started when he was 13 Recently Pete washed off his grease paint and powder and tok the first vacation be ever had Hie Idea pf an entertaining vacation was to mingle with and watch the crowds his audience An old animal trainer once told us that monkeys have more fun watching circus crowds than the crowds have watching the monkeys IMAGINARY Regarding that penniless doctor who died in California under the delusion that he was worth five million dollars: As far as be was con cerned the delusion was just as good as having the actual money and maybe better When Ford the world's richest man banks a million he doesn't get half the thrill of the small boy finding a few pennies Joy and aorrftw are states of largely Imaginary Unhappy the man without illusions Nature is kind In not letting us know too much JOY A French ragpicker Francois Pal-legry inherits a fortune When told about it he has Buch an explosion of Joy that he dies of heart failure This Illustrates the terrific power exerted over the human body by emotions Recommended especially for people who destroy their health by outbursts of temper The body is merely a violin played harmoniously or discordantly by the intellect and emotions OIL The oil business at least temporarily is in the same lifeboat with wheat farming Production of crude oil in our country has been exceeding by 300000 barrels a day the amount used The cause of this huge overproduction Is the flood of oils from wells in California As yet there is no talk of relief legislation for oil producers SKILL Vladimir Dc Pachmann celebrated Russian virtuoso sits fondling the keys of his beloved piano A reporter asks him how many hours a day he practices He answers: foolish! Some days I play for 19 hours other days one So he keeps In trim by playing only when the mood strikes him when all of us do the best work What a pity life arranged so have to work only when we wanted to Still if it were few of us would ever do a tap SHAKESPEARE It seems reasonably proved over in England that Shakespeare's name should be spelled Shakspere This starts a quarrel among the authorities many brilliant minds wasting their time on the futile discussion After all what difference does it make how the name is spelled? Shakespeare would have been amused at the controversy Great minds seem to have a tendency to get sidetracked on petty matters There never was a man whose time was too to keep him from pausing to watch a drunk being loaded Into the patrol wagon ROOSEVELT AND CO-OPERATION vocal explanation but the tone was a grinding Irreconcilable with the smiling lips On the word of a reputable Loop druggist you may take it now that the voice is that of a phonograph and the demonstrator merely moves her lips silently to aid the illusion The Office Cat unappreciated Ill IOI By BERTON BRALEY The golden rod is blooming It's blooming far and wide Its fragrance is perfuming The lovely countryside It's lining all the highways With beauty much extolled It's banked along the byways In masses made of gold The Kind of a Folks If the other fellow can you can because to the other fellow you are the other fellow Market Yon Like Nobody is so solicitous for your future welfare as the fellow who Is trying to let you In on something that he care to keep for himself I il The golden rod is gnowing And it is fine to see And gentle winds nre blowing The scent of It to me But somehow with each whiff It Brings me to tearful grief Achoo Oh gosh I sniff it! Where Is my ha'dkerchief? We are particularly proud of our store aud market because it appeals to the many women shoppers who like to trade at a clean attractive shop properly equipped with sanitary fixtures When ordering a fowl at a restaurant be sure and order one with a small bill Assistant Secretary of the Navy Theodofe Roosevelt who was a resident of San Francisco for several years and who in that time had an opportunity to study co-operation as practiced in this state the other day delivered an address before farmers at the New York state fair which for force and good eense was worthy of his great father Roosevelt pointed out that the only hope for the farmer lies in co-operative marketing organizations my Mr Roosevelt said farmer has not kept step with the times The day of the small individual lias passed Economy and efficiency are vital to success and it is axiomatic that either in buying or selling if you deal in bulk you can deal to your advantage is one way and one way only that the farmer can meet this condition He must combine is necessary for the salvation of the farmer and the salvation of the farmer is necessary for the salvation of the general One effect of co-operation in the future may be expected in improved warehousing the speaker predicted with huge storage plants' properly located at strategic points in relation to materials These he believed should be owned by the co-operatives themselves for besides being better managed the "politics which invariably creep into state-owned industries could be kept out" Mr Roosevelt concluded with a word of warning against "quack over the he said are sincere but mentally limited fanatics and self-seeking politicians peddling false doctrines These comprise such things as government price fixing and unsound loans Steer clear of them Remember that in the long run anything which hurts the country hurts the farmer as surely as anything which hurts the farmers hurt3 the And too we know patrons 'appreciate the fact that we sell only STEER beef Are you wise to the latest in educational matters? Physical education has always been the high-brow narfie for athletics But out of date now This year at the Junior College they call it Motor Education Ah-h-h Quality and prices considered you pay from 20 to 30 per cent less here The golden rod it! Is very fair to view But when -I ab Achoo! Acboo! Achoo! It sets me And ttfough you think it odd I wish It The golded rod! Why is tt that by the time a straw hat begins to feel good It begins tOi look bad? Red Crown GASOLINE only 14c I (Copyright 1923 NEA Service Inc) Sylvester says women should remember that even a salad needs dressing I AYRES When a man gets stuck on himself he cannot be pried loose until he gets Into hot water TOM SIMS SAYS- Phone 302 for the Free Deliveries Hourly 5 Corner 12th and Needham Nr A petition Is a peculiar thing Most anybody can draw one up and everybody will sign it an nobody pays any attention to It complains a local politician is we will tell you how happy this country should be While Bllence Is a very good substitute for brains perfume is a very poor one for soap bbiibibiihhuihihibnhbbiihuimimbiihhiihu FUNERAL NOTICE MELLO Funeral services for Grace Mello infant daughter of Mr and Mrs Adolph Mello were Taking a drink of the average bootleg booze will not run a man crazy It doesn't have to The real trouble with all narrowminded people Is they are too minded to admit it Headline In Providence I gallons of booze destroyed" An act of Providence Some people think as if they had the toothache held this morning at Id from the funeral home of Welch Sovern 704 Twelfth street Interment in the Stanislaus cemetery Beans Wanted This Is the season the school boy thinks a little knowledge is a dangerous thing Doc Morgan his bay-window viewed With utter consternation So he motored to the Country Club for Motor Education A bottle In the auto is worse than two in the road A HOME JOB FOR BRYAN Florida had seven lynchings ita the first six months of 1922 out I of a total of 15 in seven southern states acijording to a report of the department of records and research In Tuskegee institute Wll-jllam Bryan is a citizen and more or less a resident of Florida I There Is his home missions foreign missions Scriptural I orthodoxy anti-Darwinism human service and self sacrifice all In one awaiting attention at his door Chicago Tribune The boys are off for college where many will learn for the first time what pajamas are It would be a fine thing for the world If each of us would see others as we see ourselves All Varieties BLACKEYES PREFERED "Select and chew food save a health article It should have been headed "Chews Food We are paying TOP PRICE for all kinds of of The only thing brief about a Is the case he carries his documents in A fairly hard thing to do is make a fortune and run around with Miss Fortune at the same time A Thought Staying up all night may make you wise as an owl but owls have no sense daring the day BEANS We are in a position to pay highest price spot cash for delivery See us or call us at our expense before Boast not thyself of tomorrow for thou knowest not what a day may bring Prov 27:1 See us before MARJORIE OUR OWN LITTLE STREET FLAPPER To date she haB firoken 1 arm 7 lip sticks 5 bank accounts 4 cars 7 hearts 8 traffic regulations 6 engagements 33 12:30 rules Commandments 3 and 10 49 dates Tomatoes once were called love apples This may be why they are best taken with a grain of salt you sell rrOMORROW didst thou say? child and folly Is its Breathes there a boy with soul so dead who never to himself hath said a Frank Belier Co you sell Baker Co 10tk Sis Ph 409 father wrought on such stuff as dreams are and baseless as the fantastic visions of the The eternal triangle is loaded on all three sides Phone 3291 215 Main St Turlock Calif WThat this country needs most Is a law requiring all bills to be sent anonymously You Find Satisfaction! The country is becoming much more prosperous Every pig you run over on a country road is a registered thoroughbred worth $75 Patent leather hair seems to make the brains underneath skid Phone BEANS Being a politician pays good mony It should You are always liable to reform and be out of work 201 Fall Suits summer 19 when in San Francisco stay at the CLIFT 300 with bath YES WE HAVE NO PAJAMAS TODAY The Serpent to Eve we have no bananas today But the opples! you try For throw away your straw hat Be honest Take It back to the cafe where you got it Sell your beans to Fair and get the highest market price We are in the market for all varieties Also dry fruit of all kinds and pay cash on delivery Clever new fabrics in well tailored business suits Problem: If we spend all our money to build good roads how are we going to buy automobiles to use on them? ICE Fair Powder sprinkled on her neck will keep a nose from getting shiny at a dance Nothing else Is so conclusive to peace of mind as a clear conscience and new caBlngs CLIFT HOTEL 332 Tenth St Phone 589 4 Rich men should keep their sons away from dances Girls always want to catch the fresh heir WEST CO If Burlingame is as aristocratic as it pretends to be even the hot-dogs there must have pedigrees You can't keep a secret and tell it too Homs Company" SAN FRANCISCO GEARY a1 TAYLOR News Want Ads Pay By this time you can give ua credit for getting us to read the Ten Commandments again When we learn how happy a lark.