The Brooklyn Daily Eagle from Brooklyn, New York • Page 15

THE BROOKLYN DAILY EAGLE PICTURE AND SPORTING SECTION PICTURE AND SPORTING SECTION NEW YORK CITY, SATURDAY, SEPTUM HER 7. 1912. 6 "MAN WANTS BUT LITTLE HERE BELOW" Apologies to Oliver Wendell Holmes.) "Little I ask; my wants are few; I only wish a house of white, A very plain White House will do, Located on a central site I would not care if such a one Should even be in Washington. "The motor car, the prancing steed And stubborn Donkey, I despise. For creatures of the Tiger breed My frank dislike I don't disguise.

For Elephants I have no use Give me the gentle, timid Moose. "Parades are foolish; 'tis a sin To care for all such things, of course; A large brass band, producing din, With thousands shouting themselves hoarse, Some rockets and a bomb or so, Will do for me I laugh at show. "I aim to dress in plain attire, Loud, 'stagey' clothes I never wear; I'd promptly call a man a liar Who said I tried to make folks stare. I like rough khaki campaign hat Bandanas quiet togs like that. "Of pictures I would fain possess Portraits of Lincoln two or three, And some few hundred (more or less)' Good photographs of Me.

I'd like some statues (of myself) To place well, not upon the shelf. "Wealth's wasteful tricks I will not learn, Nor ape the malefactor rich; Let him to carven couches turn, Or golden ones I care not which. Give luxury its double share, I ask but one old-fashioned Chair. "Thus humble let me live and die, Indifferent to Fortune's dearth; I covet not the star-gemmed sky, But only want the earth, Quite grateful for the blessing lent Of simple tastes and mind content!" Nelson Harding "I ask for very little more; Pd like another term or two; Say two or three, or maybe four; I don't think that's so much, do It seems to me I'd be content To live and die a President. "Honors are silly toys, I know, A title but an empty name; I never should survive the blow If I should hear the trump of Fame; Qujte modestly, I only care To fill the presidential chair.

WALKS and TALKS Nicaragua Must Be Pacified; Mexico Can Wait THE DAILY HOROSCOPE (The Stars Incline But Do Not Compel) By JULIUS CHAMBERS. A SMILE A The Militant Suffragents. D. T. B.

writes: "My wife has been demanding the right to exercise the franchise so vehemently that I named our old horse The Franchise and told her to go and exercise it. The temperature of our domicile has been slightly below zero ever since and I burned nine tons of coke last week trying to create a congenial atmosphere. Belonging to the Suffragents is too expensive for a mar. in my station in life. Please accept my resignation." G.

F. writes: "When a neighbor's wife told my wife that I was a member of the Militant Suffragents my -wife went downtown and bought three new gowns, three new hats and five pairs of 6hoes and had them charged. I don't believe there is any way to circumvent the women and I also believe that our cause is going to fail for lack of funds. Somebody has been tipping off the secrets of the order. All of the women in our block know our password and bailing sign." A Roomy Gentleman.

One of the recent want ads: FOR SALE Automobile by a gentle- man with a large tonneau. Formula for Story Writing. Write it. Then send it to one of the 35 cent magazines and forget it. Get it back.

Send it to one of the 25 cent magazines and forget it. Get it back. Send it to one of the 15 cent magazines and forget it. Get it back. Send it to one of the 10 cent magazines and forget it.

Get it back. Send it to one of the 5 cent magazines and forget it. Get it back. Send it to one of the family maga zines that are thrown in at the front door dvetisin and for8et Get it back. Throw it in the fire and FORGET IT.

Personal. Interested First, yes, we copy almost everything out of the comic papers. Second yes, our wife writes all of our original stuff. Third yes, we get paid for it. Fourth no, it isn't at all hard, as most of the stuff is sent in and all we have to do is to copy it on a typewriter so or It si xnw, sKPTKMiiF.u k.

una. Now mil II klmlly nlicn Dotli in-online fiittN benign. This 252d day has Venus, Mars, Jupiter and Saturn In bencfic aspect with the moon, mnking a configuration that Is rend asirologleally as wholly fortunate and promising. The augury is held to be a compelling sign for the household, domestic affairs and the social circle, promising pleasure I'nd contentment from those activities and pursuits, dictated by love and Affection. This Interpretation makes the dy one for festivities, entertainments, Invitations, visits and amusement.

The sign also Is declared to be a favorable one for love affairs and weddings. Under the rulershlp of Saturn, the day is held fortunate for out-door occupations, nnrt anything concerning the earth. It is interpreted usually es a good Influence for rial estate and building. There Is also a good omen this day for traveling, beginning anything, or do- uik ciniHirueuve things. It is held to be a time when stability and steadiness are likely to prove profitable.

There is an evil sign for people who yi 'io to morose or gloomy views. Herbal astrology of old declared days lllio this good tor herbs under Venus. such as artichoke, paraiey, peach, wheat, elder, peppermint and cherry. 1'ersons with this birth date are held to be under a government that favors especially those who aro very steady and decided without being over-contldent or boastful. Children born this day are held to be under a similar rule.

IOM)AV, SKPTKMIIKIt l. 11(12. The lieliiiiiK ilimtM ylrlll Fortune In iilflll- flil. Mercury, In ecliptic conjunction with the Moon and In beneflc aspect, Is declared astrologiially to make Influences this day tending to fnvnr quick-witted and resourceful people. It is held also to make an aspect fortunate for writings, educational matters and publicity.

Venus occupies a dominating place this day, qualified and Influenced by the aspect ui ami naturn. it is neio. to make a time when courtships and engagements should prosper, and to make a day auspicious for weddings and domestic matters. It IB read, also, as a time when there Is a menace of quarrels between the sexes, Indicating the wls'lom of avoiding vexatious or fretful affairs and artlnns. There Is another conllguratlon affect ing Venus which is considered by astrological rules to make a day favorable for the Industrial and financial affairs of women, but threatening to those who speculate.

This sign also Is read as evil for those who endeavor to deceive or otherwise Injure women. There la a reading of the day's influence as being particularly helpful for originality, Inventiveness and skill of hand and brain, making the time fortunate for artisans, clever workmen of. all kinds, and for artists or those who are engaged in labors requiring taste. It Is said to be an excellent rule for dress and personal adornment. PersonB with this blrthdate are said to be well governed for occupations that demand self-reliance and confidence.

Children arc born today under planets that are construed by astrology as often giving a reserved, shy nature, but one capable of being greatly developed tor successful actions. FESTIVAL OF THE ANNUAL BATH. NOTED traveler, while visiting the capital of Madagascar some years ago, attended the annual festival of the Malagasy year called Fnndroaioa, which means bathing time, or the bath. The day before is spent by the people In visiting their relatives and friends, making them little presents of fowls and eggs, or a small sum of money, and wishing them long life and prosperli-y. In the evening the countryside Is ablaze with torches for a short time, the custom, It Is said, being a relic of the ancient fireworshlp.

The following Is the great day. Large numbers of oxen are slaughtered and distributed among the people, and about 7 p.m. there is a great feast In the palace, to which distinguished natives are Invited. The gathering takes place In the drawing room of the palace, and as no seats are provided the visitors sit oa the floor. The proceedings are accompanied by music, and a fire is kept burning In a prominent place In the room.

By and by the time comes for the Queen to have her ceremonious bath, and she disappears behind a curtain. After a tedious wait of half an hour, the Queen emerges, dressed, and proceeds to sprinkle the assembled guests with water from a vessel held In her left hand, the reremnny Implying the bestowal of Her Majesty's blessing upon them. iA.l.IwJl. aW If I 'Ti Si rl -ii I'll fii i sr. it gra Malaga SECOND pipes are not going to go out of style very soon.

As long as the factories continue to make red neckties somebody will wear 'em. The railroad that runs by our place is crooked that the engineer kin gossip with the passengers in the last coach about half the time. The cowcatcher scraped the paint off'n the Pullman sleeper the other day. One of These Rough Widows. What? A recent want ad: WIDOW WANTS IRONING.

How to Be Happy. Don't try to learn to iike grapefruit. Don't borrow another man's automobile and break it. Don't start any argument on religion women's suffrage. Don take a deaf party to the theater with you.

Don't ever expect any return for a favor. Then maybe you'll get it. Always carry a dozen extra collar but tons in your pocket and three or four safety pins. Don polish your shoes with a bath towel and let your wife find it out. The Burglar.

was near midnight's holy hour, In vain we courted sleep, The shadders was a-dancing round And made our nerves all creep. When suddenly we heard a sound, A soft step on the stair, We gazed into the hall, and lo, A burglar bold was there. He acted perfectly at home And never noticed us, He went about his business, Without the slightest fuss. He must have known he was observed, Of that we could have vowed. For when he took some of our stuff We chuckled right out loud.

When ma-in-laws false teeth he took, We smiled chock full of glee, This burglar was a kind gazabe, A jolly rogue was he. And when he took Bill's phonograph And dropped it in his sack, We laughed so loud we could be heard To Timbuctoo and back. He carried off our coo-coo clock And it ne'er more will tell And when he took our wife's pink hat We hate from tip to brim, We felt like getting out of bed And shaking hands with him, lie took our parrot and we yelled Aloud in fiendish mirth, And then got up and helped him pack For all that we were worth. Wc handed him a good cigar And made him promise that Whenever he came 'round this way He'd burglarize our flat. Beatrice Sparcrib's Beauty Hints.

Margaret You ask me how to remove superfluous hair from your face. Really, nairs nave iicch XrVK guarantee that the same hairs will never appear upon your map again. Cynthia Removing wrinkles from the face is really a cinch. It isn't neces sary to wear a mask, although vou can do this if you think it will improve your looks to any great extent. The simple way is to grasp the skin firmly an inch or two northeast of the wrinkle and pull it taut where the wrinkle was and iron with hot flatiron for several minutes.

The method is the same as that used by tailors in pressing trousers. When the wrinkle appears again the operation should be repeated. Lulu We hardly know what to say to you, Lulu. If nature placed a wart upon your nose, nature probably knew what she was doing and you had better leave it alone. The only sure way that we know of to remove a wart on the nose so that it will not come back is to hold the nose under a dried beef cutter.

Of course, if you consider your nose a valuable asset to your personal appearance this treatment would be rather expensive and drastic, but if you don't care much about your nose try it. The Gay Deceiver. I never thought a thing so fair To gaze upon, a vision rare Could really be so false at heart, It looked so honest at the start. 'Twas beauteous and fine to 6ee And made a life-sized hit with me, I'd oft heard of love at first sight It was the ease with me all right. I looked upon it day by day.

At last I lugged the thing away Its coloring was matchless and 'Twas guaranteed to beat the band. 'Twas highly spoken of, forsooth But soon I learned the bitter truth. If I'd been told I'd not believed That I could have been thus deceived. Alas, alas, 'tis ever thus The things that make the hit with us Are seldom worth the time and luss. They say that beauty is ckin deep.

I knew it when I took a peep Beneath the hide of this fair thing, Whose praises I was wont to sing. I was grief stricken and heartsore When I found I'd been stung once more, It failed to give the joy I sough-That watermelon that I bought. Avoid These. Automobile coming down the road with twelve-year-old kid at the wheel. Barbed wire fences.

Go around if it's a mile. Man who wants to tell you how to run your business. Ten to one he can't run his own. Man who wants to give you something for nothing. There must be something the matter with it.

Matron who has daughter who is taking singing lessons. Gold mantel clocks if you want to catch a train. Woddinu cigars. The bridegroom gen erally buys them last, when he is half out of silver. Kind faced old gentleman with mutton chop whiskers, plug hat and book under his arm.

Mince pie for breakfast. Home-made shirts. Folding chairs at funerals. Race Track Information. A W.

Yes, we- think you can venture 25 cents on Portland Cement. He ought to win in a walk. Merry Widow No, the Dooxmaxer hasn't any George Barr McCutcheon's on sale. Angcline The man who names the trotting horses is the same one who names the Pullman cars. He has the most vivid imagination snd sense -l invention in this country at the present time.

Lottie Lee We cannot publish your joke about the sulky. An almanac scooped you on that away back in 1847. Marguerite They call him a good quarter horse because he is a good horse to bet a quarter on and no more. ml ri done away with, as well as arduous liner arc very attractive. I and correct the spelling.

Fifth no, wejOf our arrival nightly and do not write the stuff first and get the Sound our domestic knell HE United Slates Is beginning to seriously feel the embarrassments in store for her due to the Monroe Doctrine. All Eu rope tacitly orders this Government to restore order in Mexico and Nicaragua not to mention Cuba or to permit foreign Intervention. When President Monroe gave official lorm to the memorandum sent to him by Thomas Jefferson because the sage of Montlcello is the real author of the so- called "Monroe Doctrine," as I showed some time ago by quotations from Jefferson's correspondence he saddled thiB people with responsibilities that he could not possibly have foreseen. At that time, the United States was not a nation. It was a semi-cohesive aggregation of States beginning at the Atlantic coast end extending westward Into the untrodden forests and mountains of the Louisiana Purchase, the bounds of which nobody clearly comprehended.

Lewis and Clark had penetrated to the mouth of the Columbia- River, but they knew nothing of the vast territory to the south of the Mlssourl-Yellowstone-Columbla route hey had followed. For a "kid" government, such as existed under Monroe, to put up the gates against the Old World was probably the most audacious bluff ever played. Europe had been through a heap of trouble. Napoleonic wars had dismembered her and their collapse had partially reunited her. The young republic was Buffering from vanity.

Th; United States declared a protectorate over the Western Hemisphere! "Hands off!" was the command to Europe, big and little. Fortunate for the memory of Monroe, not to mention Jefferson, that this republic has remained united and has grown to be the world power It Is today! Had the rebellion of the Southern Slates succeeded and two petty republics existed whore now Is the unabashed, untcrrlflcd United States, the "Monroe Doctrine" would long since have been made tat! political Joke of the nineteenth century. This "Doctrine" would hold that Ignoble position belore the world today were not ships and guns afloat to maintain respectful recognition for It. The situation in Nicaragua Is acuta. One of the best cards Mr.

Taft could play would be to land sufficient troops in that revolutlon-rlddon country and settle the reign of bloodshed now disgracing the twentieth century! The Nlcaraguans are of a Boclal and Intellectual level of the Santo Ilomln-pans although the comparison Is hardly lair to the people of the latter island. Countless outrages upon American citl-ens In Nicaragua remain unavenged. Soma exemplary arrests, trials and executions in that infernal country would do more to re-establish the "Monroe Doctrine" In the good opinion of European end Asiatic powers than the building of two new battleships annually! Some show of firmness Is needed In dealing with Nicaragua. Her position is quite different from that of Mexico. A semblance of government exists under Madcro.

At Its worst, It Is en Improvement upon the tyranny of liiai. In dealing with Mexico, the people if the United States must be patient. One hundred years ago, Mexicans were ro moro civilized than the various tribes of aborigines that occupied two-thirds rf the territory now Included In the ITnlted States proper. Here the natives were mostly killed off by a persistent FUNNY bparrow It a shame to lee and by not to est a a course of repression. The course of western progress was over the bleeding bodies the burning villages of the real owners of the lands.

The people of the United States have reached a higher plane of civilization only because these are mostly of foreign origin! Except a few Spanish families, Mexico has been favored with Immigration from Europe. Much of the population that sought this "land of liberty" was utterly deficient In the qualities that make for social advancement; but an adaptability Improved environment has been chlef- of the characteristics of the acces sions received from Germany, Ireland and Austria. There Is nothing political In this lan guage, but the landlord-persecuted son of Ireland came from his but In County Ctvan or Limerick and set about owning place of his own. A dirt floor, with which he was content at home, would not sufflee here. He wanted something better.

American air Inspired the thought, originally; ambition was kindled in a heart that never had known it. I am not candidate for the Presidency and may venture the opinion that many of the children of "Sunny Italy," with their llluclt Hand" and "Mafia," ought to have sought Mexico or Nicaragua, where they could have had all the trouble they desired. Mexico for the lawless from Europe say but Nicaragua must be civilized, even if a hand of iron Is needed. LARGEST EGGS IN THE WORLD. HE largest egg In the world Is found In the Island of Mada gascar.

It Is said to be nine or ten times the size of an os trlch egg, being from twelve to fifteen Inches in length. This egg be longs to an extinct ground pigeon of gigantic proportions known as Aepyornls, of which there were at one time two or three species. The eggs are extremely rare and valuaoie, a periect, unnroaen specimen being valued at J480. Not more than half a dozen eggs have ever been procured, and these were found In the southwest part of the Island many years ago. HISTORY ON THE LEAVES OF A TREE.

MONO the wonders of the Kan- A dvan district of Ceylon Is a unique and beautiful tree called the Talipot. Next to the cocoa- nut palm, It Is the most useful tree In the island, for Its uses are computed at eight hundred and one, and as yet It has not, as far as Is known, been used In building aeroplanes. For the first ten years of Its existence, the Talipot grows only magnificent fan-shaped leaves, then a trunk begins to form, which attains a height of about one hundred feet. Its white stem Is encircled with ring marks closely set, showing Its growth from year to year. The leaves are lnrge enough to make rain coats and sunshades, and four of them will make a very good tent.

When cut Into strips and boiled and dried, the substance Is called nla or paper. On strips of ola the religious and secular history and legends of the people, written In Pall characters, have been banded down from the earlier centuries and are still legible. In the seventeenth century Raja Slngha, King of Kandy, who had a passion for kidnapping strangers, captured an Englishman named Robert Knox, with his father, and held them for ransom. The elder Knox died, but as no ransom came for Robert, he lived for twenty years In the Island, before he managed to escape. During that time he wrote a quaint history of the people of Kandy, which Is still read and referred to.

BIRDS how these foreigners get all the idea afterward. It is quite the other way. Sixth no, we have never been in jail and we don't know why not. Perplexed It you want to make a safe get sway in the evening, put your trou sers and coat on hind side betore and your wife will think you are coming in instead of going out. According to Uncle Abner.

There is never much use in trying to scrape acquaintance vith a feller who has got a new automobile. There ain't a quick lunch fiend in this country who has got enough strength of mind to begin eating a piece ot pie anywhere but at the small end. Deacon's ain't so straight laces as they used to be, but they are quite a lot safer Maggie dear, it is very simple. It is so in a hoss trade. pimple, in fact, that it is almost foolish.

If there was a law agin' goin' to church Some women do it with a safety razor, everybody would want to be there an hour but, believe me, that offers only a tcm-and a half before the service started andlporary relief. The best way I know of fx 'J ft IwF mi ft there wouldn't be standing room. jis to get acquainted with a gentleman One of the freaks of human nature is jblacksmith who owns a pair of strong the fact that the crowd is always disap- (iron pincers, such as are used for remov-pointed when the firemen get the blaze shoes from horses' feet. When you under control before it has done any dam- 'have gained his confidence borrow the tge 'pincers and take them home with you. There is nobody so unhappy as the! Fasten the pincers firmly to the end of a feller who spends his time tryin' to fig- lhair and then pull with all your might, ger out the future Continue this operation until all of the It begins to look ss though corncon mm 'I'll mmhl New Orleans, September 6 a.

A i tfZl 1 Vmmwim The Tallest Skyscraper OlVice Ituilding in the World as Compared! With the Largest Steamship Now Ituilding. The Imperator Tons) of the Hamburg American Line Towers ISO I'cet Above the I lagstaff of the W'oolwortb Ituilding. This Immense Ocean Traveler ill Accommodate 4.250 Passengers and a Crew of 1,000. The float Is Lquipped With the Newest Safety and! Life Saving Devices and Also Carries an Anti-Rolling Tank, Rendering Her Very Steady. The Christian of the Hamburg American Line, the first motor fin.

Atlanfl, rreviLinir I ti tlii2 tpi.pl trtA ulnim aii. wth thcir DOier8i furncc and loal bunkers have been good things to eat and we natives have to hustle tof work of the coal heavers. The passenger accommodations of the.