The Daily Times-News from Burlington, North Carolina • Page 7

7A BurifctUm (N.C.) Times-News. Saturday, April 7.1»73 Wife Beaters Are On Increase, According To FBI Statistics According to FBI statistics, police across the nation receive more calls for family conflicts than for murders, aggravated batteries and all other serious crimes. By DIANE WHITE Women's News Servke BosfoB Globe BOSTON Laura says she has no Idea how many beatings she suffered during her 10-year marriage, but she swears they were plentiful and she has the missing teeth and scars to prove it. Last spring with the aid of a legal assistance attorney, the 27-year-old mother of two succeeded in obtaining a divorce on the grounds of cruel and abusive treatment. Recently her ex-husband beat down the door of her Somerville apartment and raped her.

The police and her attorney advised her she could seek a warrant for his arrest but she declined to. good would it do?" she asked. "They wouldn't send him to jail and even if they did. when he got out he'd come back and kill me. I know it" One warm night last fall a woman who lives in an affluent suburb was surprised to hear Ruth, her next door neighbor, screaming for help.

First Police Call The woman immediately called the police who arrived to find Ruth in tears and her husband. Robert, drunk. A minor quarrel between the two had turned into a slapping session and Ruth had become hysterical. After questioning the two, police learned that it wasn't the first time Robert had become physically abusive. But it was the first time the police had been called in.

The officers suggested that the two consult a marriage counselor. Robert resisted, but was eventuallj' persuaded to go. The police in the suburban community have not been summoned to the house since and they' assume Ruth and Robert are working out their problems or that their quarrels are a lot less noisy. There is a persistent belief that only poor, uneducated men beat their wives. But those who are familiar with the problem of marital violence say it cuts across all social and economic lines.

"Some people think that in certain racial or ethnic or economic groups JTOU find more of this (marital violence), said Mary Lydon, a casework supervisor for the Family Service Assn. (FSA) of Greater Boston. "But that's not the case at all" CommaaicatiM aad Alcohol According to Miss Lydon the determining factors are more likely to be the inability to communicate verbally and alcohol, problems which afflict persons in all social strata. In her 15 years with the FSA, Miss Lydon said she has worked with more middle than lower income couples on this problem. She speculates there may be several reasons for this, among them the fact that the middle class is more oriented toward seeking counseling, better able to afford it and under more social pressure Dear Abby Children Shouldn't Suffer Husband's Irritability By Abigail Van Buren -vc DEAR ABBY: My husband is very hard to get along with.

He is also a very poor sport. I was in my ninth month of pregnancy with our first child when I started to get pains. We had planned to go to a football game that day, so my husband got mad and laid down on the couch and told me to wake him up when it was tune to go to the hospital. I kept telling him it was time, but he stalled around just for spite and I had the baby in the parking lot outside the hospital. Another time we took our five kids to Disneyland.

My husband likes to go on all those wild rides but I get dizzy, so he took the kids while I watched. The big one got a nosebleed on the Ferris wheel and bled all over my husband's suit, so he gave the poor Md a licking just it was his fault. The reason. I'm writing this is because yesterday I scraped the fender on his car and he got mad and broke my Yucca tree. If I weren't pregnant with number six I'd leave him.

Any advice? TRAPPED DEAR TRAPPED: 'What's done is done, but you should give some thought "to turning off the ''baby machine." It's not fair to saddle children with a father like that. DEAR ABBY: I love to cook, but I recently married a man whose hobby is cooking. Every night he fixes a different kind of dinner. He's gone from Chinese to Hungarian to Italian. I hate to complain, but my husband's cooking is terrible and I can't take much more of it.

How can I tell him to please stay out of the kitchen and let me do the cooking? UPSET -STOMACH DEAR UPSET: Unless you speak Chinese. Hungarian, or Italian, tell him in English. DEAR ABBY: After 25 years of a happy, suburban marriage in ultra luxurious circumstances, with three children now in graduate schools, my wife and I are undergoing an amicable no- fault divorce because (as she puts it) "we have nothing in common except the children." She's already found a future husband (a former college friend whom she rediscovered a year ago), has left our home awaiting the time when she can remarry. No alimony involved. Frankly.

Abby, I am bored with the suburban rat race. and want to start a new life elsewhere. The question is where? And with whom? My children are into joga, meditation, gurus, helping others, rejecting material things, and status. I am seriously considering adopting their lifestyle. What do you say about my making such an abrupt change in my early 50s? Is this a passing fancy, or would it be a wise choice for me? And how do I find a partner while doing so? Or is therapy the answer? RE-EVALUATING DEAR RE: First things first.

Don't look for a while you try to determine which route to pursue in your search for peace of mind which is what you're after. Get into therapy and once you find your head you will know who you are. Then you can change your lifestyle if that's what you want. than lower economic groups to make material altercations private. Women, it seems, put up with varying degrees of physical violence before they seek help.

Some women, she said, endure severe beatings stoically. Such women have been brought up in family situations where physical abuse is common and they are used to it and don't think too much of it, she said. "We see other women who get slapped or shoved by their husbands just once and go to pieces," she said. Husband Beatings, Too Occasionally, she said, the agency has encountered cases of husband-beating. "They're not common, of course," she said.

"But we have had them." According to Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) statistics, police across the nation receive more calls for family conflicts than for murders, aggravated batteries and all other serious crimes. The category of family conflicts include not only quarrels between husband and wife but also between parent and child. There is no way. then, to determine how many or what percentage of these di- turbances involved disagreements between marriage partners. However, other FBI statistics give some indication of the extent of the problem.

In 1969. for example, homicides within the family accounted for one-fourth of all murders and more than one- half of these were spouse killings. In general, police don't like dealing with family quarrels because they don't know what to expect and frequently the calls prove to be dangerous. FBI statistics show that 22 per cent of all police Brain Disease Is Family Of Diseases HOT SPRINGS. Ark.

(AP) Ever child diagnosed as having minimal a i dysfunction is different and must be considered as an individual, according to Dr. Diana Rigg Plays Parts Of 3 Men By TRIXIE BELMOXT Women's News Service Curvacous Diana Avengers') Rigg plays three different moustachioed men in the movie she's currently filming ''Theatre of Blood." A chef, a cop and a hippie. Says she. "It's a very funny script and the idea of getting into drag was fun. The way you hold your face is quite different, I just had to try and look butch.

"I wore dark glasses because the eyes give you away, and the mouth on a woman is much softer so we had to hide that. Women tend to walk with their legs together. As a policeman I had to swing from side to side with my legs apart. "I had padded shoulders, padding on the arms to give me biceps. They padded my waist but it's still you inside, you don't feel butch, you've got to keep pretending all the time.

You can get the voice. I had to make it much lower and mostly I succeeded but then in one place I had to whisper and that gave it away completely." John E. Peters, an Arkansas child psychiatrist. Minimal brain dysfunction (MBD) is a family of diagnoses rather than a single entity, Dr. Peters recently told an audience of physicians in private practice.

The three groups into which he divides the problem are the child with pure hyperactivity, the one with pure learning disability and the mixed types who have both. and hyperactive children have in common short attention span, distractabflity and impulsivity- The two pure types are relatively few in number. The largest number of MBD children fall into the mixed category. Dr. Peters is head of the division of child and adolescent psychiatry at the University of Arkansas school of medicine.

He said that most children are diagnosed as having MBD fatalities occur while investigating domestic disturbances. At least 107 police officers were killed between 19(0 and 1969 while answering such calls, according to the FBL Marital violence presents delicate, complex and sometimes baffling problems for police, attorneys and the courts. Underlying Problems Some police departments have experimented with family crisis units, teams of officers trained to identify the underlying problems in domestic disturbances and attempt to reason with the parties involved and refer them to appropriate agencies for help. The New York City Police Dept. set up a family crisis unit in one high-crime precinct four years ago and achieved stunning resuUs.

There were no homicides among the 962 families visited during the 21-month Federally- financed project and there were no police injuries. The unit was disbanded but the methods have been incorporated into the curriculum at the New York City Police Academy. A similar, but much smaller. Federally funded program was set up last year in Lowell, Mass. Nine policemen received 64 hours of training in how to handle a variety of complaints.

The program was dropped after six months because of a lack of funds. But while it was in operation it apparently was successful. "There were very few recalls in family crises," said Lt. Evangelos Kanellas. "And 1 dont' think we ever had 10 make an arrest." Find The Reasons Patrolman William Keefe, who participated in the program said, "I think it should be a regular part of police training.

Speaking for myself, I feel it's made me a better police officer. When you go into a dispute you're trained to find out the reasons behind it rather than simply making an arrest." Captain William Hogan. director of the Boston Police Academy, said that in the last two years a course in sensitivity training has been added to the curriculum at the academy to help officers learn to more effectively with persons in trouble. However, the idea of preventive law enforcement is not popular in many police quarters and most policemen seem to prefer to employ the more traditional methods of arrest and-or temporary removal. In an article entitled tal Violence: The Legal Solutions" in the Hastings Law Journal, Nov.

1971, the author, attorney Elizabeth Truninger. writes that a survey of 92 attorneys in the San Francisco Bay area. 21 of whom returned the questionnaire, revealed that less than one- fourth of the attorneys felt the police were any help at all to their clients in dealing with domestic violence. "Most attorneys believed that the police did not want to become imolved in marital disputes." she writes, ''and. in their experience, they found that the police would not make an arrest without a specific court order and-or without actually having observed the violence." Shr takes a dim view of police attempts to mediate quarrels between husbands and wives.

many jurisdictions police are taught to avoid arrest and seek mediation of such controversies." she writes. "In fact this is the recommendation of the International Assn. of Chiefs of Police Training Bulletin. For the victim, this alternative is thoroughly unsatisfactory. Not only does it niinimize the seriousness of the husband's actions and misstate the law.

but it also effectively traps the wife with children in the home." Local attorneys say police are usually reluctant to interfere between husband and wife. A Cambridge attorney complained: "The approach of the polic-3 is simple. They take the violent person out of the house and walk him around the corner. Of course he's right back in the house beating his wife five minutes after they leave." In many states, a wife may not sue her husband for assault and batten' because of spousal immunity. This may be partially circumvented by having the authorities bring criminal charges of assault and battery against the husband, but "the wife may not bring a civil suit for damages.

The Massachusetts Institute for Law Reform held a conference at Brandeis University last fall during which the problem of physical abuse within marriage was discussed. Several sub-groups were set up to study various possibilities, including the establishment of a family court, the possibility of setting up emergency 24-hour shelter for women and children who are being victimized, streamlining probate court procedures. training police, lawyers and social workers to use the existing legal remedies for marital violence, the efficacy of police family crisis units, the possibility "of mental commitment "for aggressors and re-writing the statutory rape laws so as noi to exclude husbands. GtvKM MT. HERMAN UNITED METHODIST Rt.

1, Graham SUNDAY SERVICES Sunday School 9:45 a.m. Worship Hour 11:00 a.m. Youth Groups 6:00 p.m. SPECIAL SINGSPIRATION SERVICE 7:15 p.m. Jr.

Choir, Genesis Youth Group, and special sing. 4 Jean Adams' Teen Forum Best To Let Him Go Problems? You'll feel better if you get it off your chest. For a personal reply, write to ABBY: Box No. 69700. L.

Calif. 90069. Enclose stamped, self-addressed envelope, please. For Abby's new booklet, "What Teen-Agers Want to Know." send SI to Abby. Box 69700.

Los Angeles, Cal. 90069. and their parents are seen at least initially by a physician in private practice. "In every group of 100 school children, there are likely to be 5 to 10 who" have a learning disability or are so hyperactive they require special help. The physician has an important role in helping to identify and manage these children to prevent psychiatric maladjustments and to increase the child's chances for a productive life," Dr.

Peters said. Unstable emotions, mercurial behavior, poor motor integration, space movement perception deficit and disorders in language processing are also characteristic of children. The seminar on diagnosis and management of the child with MBD was sponsored as part of a medical horizons program by CIBA Pharmaceutical Co. DECISION: (Q.) Rick and I went out together for and-a-half years. Then he got another girl pregnant.

She is 16.1 am 18. He is 21- He still comes to see me when he is home from the sen-ice and she doesn't like it. She wants him. He says he doesn't want to have anything to do with her anymore. I love him very much and he loves me very much and I want him back.

Don't you think that is right? Forgiving in New Jersey. (A.) It is a fact that you want Rick back. But it is also a fact that having him back is not right for you. Wanting him back is something you can get over by working at it. I think you should work at it.

If you accept Rick and many him, you may spend the rest of your life asking yourself if you can really trust him. That is too much unhappiness for anyone. Let him go. If necessary, tell him to go. EARLY ASTRAY: (Q.) I go around with a big group of boys and girls.

We are from 12 to 15 years old. My friends and I are concerned about one of the group, a 12-year-old boy. He smokes grass and drinks every weekend. This has been going on almost a year. The thing that worries us is we are afraid it has gone to his head.

He does all sorts of odd things. That is. when he is drunk or stoned. When he isn't he is a great kid. Our question is should we talk to him about it or should we go to someone older, with more authority? Who could we go to.

not counting his parents or our parents? A Friend in Fiorida. (A.) You could go to your pastor, or to the boy's pastor. Your school counselor also might help- Best of all would be to talk sympathetically with the boy and personally convince him that he should go to a counselor or minister or to his doctor. Unless a boy or girl realizes the need for help, and wants it, he or she is not likely to benefit much from it. (Jean Adams reads and considers every letter, but she regrets that she cannot answer each personally.

Mail your questions or comments to Jean Adams, care of this newspaper. P.O. Box 2402. Houston. Texas 77001.) CHRISTIAN CORNER ANNOUNCES 8:30 a.m.

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