The Philadelphia Times from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania • Page 22

0t THE PHILADELPHIA TIMES. SUNDAY MORNING, DECEMBER 30, 1900. jaiMJAJM GAME 'Ts J. "Oh, Ma, won't you piease play mid os blind man'5 buff?" 2. Ready!" 3.

"Now look out Hans und Frite. Mamma will soon location you 4. Where could der liddle rascals be yet JB ip 5. Where is you, Hans-Fritz 7. I I 1 6.

Why you don't answer. I will peep a liddle 8. As it looked to Hans and Fritz. COPYRIGHT 1900 I scou ra gl Iscou ra gl g. "He ain't going to die, I hope." "No, that isn't it.

The fellow became dissatisfied and Insisted upon calling in another doctor for consultation, and now he's likely to get well any day. "-Exchange. (Jlvlnc Him a Chance. "Harriet, you ought to give me my choice of Christmas once In a while." "Well, Harry, I'm willing; do you want a lamp shade, a sofa pillow or new lace curtains." Chicago Kecord. "I did not see any auto-Xew Orleans, but I did see an automobile go by." "Well, now," said he, "I'd like to know what you're laughing at.

I knew them pesky things were named after one of our Southern cities, and Xew Orleans isn't such a great distance from Mobile, so I wasn't far out. of the way, anyhow." Then they sat down and In silence munched the midday meal from bean consomme to coffee and confections. Detroit Free Press. "yon haven't got money enough." "How much would It take?" she continued. "Three hundred dollars," said the hoy promptly, as If that would settle the matter at once for all.

"Oh, well, then," said the woman, "I think I can manage It. If I can, will you come and stay with me?" "Xo, ma'am." he said, with decision. "Xlnnima wouldn't sell me, anyhow. There arc five of us, and mamma wouldn't like to break the set." Buffalo Enquirer. Too Much Talk.

Tourists who go to see Bolton Abbey In England usually push on to I'osforth GUI waterfall, which Is nearby, relates the Youth's Companion. On one occasion an old guide accompanied a party of very garrulous Indies and a solitary gentleman to the head of the gorge where the water comes down. The gentleniau became somewhat tired after awhile, possibly from slght-seelug, and remarked: "My pood fellow, how much farther Is It yet to the fall?" "Just a minute or two, sir," the guide answered. "As soon as the ladles stop talk-lug you will hear the roar" Spoiled Her Evening. Last evening a gentleman who was sitting by his suburban window casually remarked: "There goes the woman whom George Brown's awfully In love with." His wife, who was in a back room getting supper ready, dropped a plate on the floor, stumbled over the baby and ran like a deer to the window with: "Where? Where? Tell me, quick!" "The one with the long cloak, just at the corner." Then the woman at the window said In tones of deep disgust: "Why, that's George Brown's wife." "Yes, exactly," remarked the brutal husband.

Then the disappointed woman went back and got the supper ready, but her usually sweet disposition was soured for the entire evening. Chicago Journal. Jogged His Memory. A wife gave a sealed letter to her husband, bnt told him not to open it until he got to his office. When he did open It he read this: "I am forced to tell you something that I know will trouble you, but it Is my duty to do so.

I am determined you shall know It, let the result be what it will. I have known for a week that It was coming, but I kept It to myself until to-day, when It reached a crisis, and I cannot conceal It any longer. You must not censure me too harshly, for you must reap the results as well as myself. I do hope It won't anger you too greatly." (Here the husband turned the page, his hair slowly rising). "The coal is all used up.

Please call and order some to be sent this afternoon. I thought this was the best way to make sure that you would not forget it. Uncle Allen. "The meanest man of the season," according to the opinion of t'nele Allen Sparks when the subject came up for discussion, "Is the man who hunts the house over from oellnr to garret trying to find out what his wife has hidden away as his Christmas present." Chicago Tribune. A Happy Combination.

Delia studied medicine, you know, and I've taken a cooking school course." "Well?" "We're going to start a magazine called 'What to Eat and How to Get Over Puck. Itosetv ry Held the Train. It Is related of Lord Rosebery that he once arranged to meet a friend at a country railroad station, the two Intending to travel In the same direction. The train arrived, but his friend was still over half a mile away, though his carriage could be seen coming as fast as the horses could gallop. Lord Rosebery vainly eutreated the station master to hold the train for a few minutes, and as a last resort sat down on the rails In front of the engine, refusing to budge until his friend was on the platform.

Too Youncr- Once I knew a little boy Who never told a He. You see he hadn't learned to talk, And that's the reason why. 4 lor Art's Sake. Brushe "I hear Scribbler married a woman with a past." Penn "Yes: he's gathering material for a problem novel." A Boer Census Wanted. One of the peculiarities of the Boers Is that nobody has ever been able to count them.

When the war began the estimates of their forces varied from 50.000 to men. Now the number of Boers In ambush Is reckoned all the way from 5.000 to Argus. A Trifle Mixed. As old Deacon Dingsley was Hearing his residence on John li. street, yesterday, for bis noontide luncheon, an automobile rushed past, and as he entered his front doorway he Inquired of his wife, "Did you see thut auto auto auto Xew Orleans Just now?" "Xo," she replied, laughing hysterically.

A Settler. A 5-year-old boy went with his mother to make a call. The lady of the house, who was fond of children, told him she meant to ask his mother to let her have him. "Don't you think your mother would let me buy you?" she asked. "Xo, ma'am," answered the little fellow; IIo Stay Recover.

"How are you getting along with the rich patient you were telling me about?" asked Gaswell of a medical friend. Why, Indeed "Let (logs delight to bark and bite, Fot 'tis their nature to." Still, I don't see why Nature made The dogs that way; do you? DAILY LIFE IN BUGVILLE wtws ctme fa mkWmi BUG TT ItiSmk 6 EVERY-DAY LIFE IN ufZ) WISHER; -S hJ1 fQ 'Sfflt' fmJi the office of 'Pjrt krflrt 7heyCe CHRONICLE. My bag Zt iSW to-day!" MIL 1 you" COt-YrvKjtl I 19U0.