The Capital Times from Madison, Wisconsin • 41

Friday, May 18, 1990 The Capital Times 3D What helps a modern-day marriage last? A recent survey in USA Today showed that the average American couple spends four minutes a day talking to one another. Continued from Page ID Even worse, Lewis says, theyll discuss their growing disenchantment with everyone but their spouse. As a result, they become even more polarized and hostile. So how can couples prevent their marriages from disintegrating? Lewis subscribes to the theory that the three keys to a happy marriage are communication, more communication and money. More to the point, he says couples must invest time in their relationship time that is etched in stone and takes priority over everything else.

They also should be as open as possible and willing to take risks about their feelings. (In War of the Roses, he notes, it took Barbara Rose 10 years to reveal to her husband that she was annoyed by his laugh.) In addition, Lewis says, couples should invest time in themselves as individuals time that does not involve their spouse or the children. It all sounds simple enough, Lewis says. But he says hes astounded by the number of couples he sees who go weeks Its sitting on a pier on the lake on a pretty night and watching the sun set. Jensen says that the sexual part of romance also is crucial, and that when sexual desire disappears in a marriage, its often a sign that one partner or perhaps both is not happy.

I think its especially hard for a woman to be sexual when shes really angry or holding a lot of resentment, Jensen says. And it really doesnt matter if shes angry because her husband drinks too much or ignores the children or because all he ever does is watch TV all night. Jensen and Lewis agree that money either too much or too little also causes many marriages to come unraveled. But Lewis says that comes back to the importance of communication and being open and honest about ones feelings. If more people did that, he says, Id be very surprised if they ever got to the point that the Roses did.

And they should probably keep in mind one other thing. As divorce lawyer Danny DeVito points out in War of the Roses, death from a falling chandelier is never pretty. and, in some cases, months without having a meaningful discussion. Unless, of course, its about the kids. (A recent survey in USA Today showed that the average American couple spends four minutes a day talking to one another.) Lewis says he often prescribes that couples get together for 10 minutes a day for one week.

One partner talks for the first five minutes, the other partner for the next five. i In his 10 years as a therapist, Lewis says, only one couple was actually able to do that. And that was only after I bet them $50 that they couldnt. What often happens in a family, Lewis says, is that the parents begin to view themselves strictly as mom and dad and not as husband and wife. Then the kids leave home and suddenly youre left with the husband and wife the high school sweethearts who fell in love, he says.

If youve been feeding that relationship during the interim, its probably going to continue to grow. If you havent, it will die. Jensen agrees that communication is essential to any happy marriage. But she believes an even bigger factor is romance. Now, maybe that sounds naive, she says.

But romance is the one thing that makes a marriage different from any other partnership. And by romance, Jensen says, she doesnt mean buying your spouse an expensive necklace or new golf clubs. Im talking about things that dont cost money. Im talking about kind, nurturing words. Its walking through the Arboretum and looking at the lilacs and holding hands.

Kathleen Turner and Michael Douglas brought out the dark side of passion in The War of the Roses. Credit and privacy Investigate before you invest in professional lawn care service I Every firm that has given you credit is not required to report your good or bad record to the credit bureau. Some do, but some dont. That means your good record may not be reported, but if youve been late paying just one of your credit cards, that may be there. Wilcox says its very important to make sure your Social Security number is correctly listed.

Its the only way to make sure that people with the same name dont get each others credit reports. If you dispute the completeness or accuracy of any information in your credit report, you have the right to include a brief statement providing your side of the dispute. While Wilcox feels his $10 fee to check your credit report is not unreasonable, a growing number of U.S. representatives and senators feel that consumers should be entitled to receive a complete report, free of charge, once a year. What do you think? Have you heard from a telephone salesperson who seemed to know lots of information about you that you think should be private? Write to me at Consumer Watch, PO Box 8060, Madison, WI 53708 and tell me your opinion.

Continued from Page ID virtually all their personal privacy. Guiton has outlined a five-point program that she says President Bush would like industry to voluntarily comply with: Tell the consumer when and why information is being collected and who will have access to it. Collect only that information that is germane to the transaction at hand. Other requested information should be clearly marked optional. Industry should provide consumers with a complete copy of their records upon request.

Consumers should be allowed to opt out. Companies should make a concerted effort to educate consumers on how and why they collect information. Under current law, you are entitled to a free copy of your credit report any time you have been denied credit. Otherwise credit bureaus are allowed to charge a fee. The Credit Bureau of Madison charges $10, while TRW, one of three large national firms, charges $35.

Even if you have good credit, there are reasons to check your report. The experts recommend doing that once a year. Lawns Continued from Page ID lawn pesticide, but the EPA prohibited its use on golf courses and sod farms when it discovered that the product killed birds. the second-most widely used lawn pesticide, is also under fire from the EPA for its suspected potential to cause cancer and birth defects. However, its use on residential lawns is still permitted.

Second, educate yourself about alternative treatments. To prevent weeds, Ann Munson, master gardener at the Dane County Extension Service, recommends mowing your grass so that its at least 2Vz or 3 inches tall. Higher grass shades the soil so weed seeds dont get the heat they need to germinate, Munson says. Munson also recommends organic fertilizers like Milorganite and Vermont 100. If you cant find them at your local garden supply store, you should be able to buy them through garden catalogs.

As for pests, Munson recommends a new approach called integrated pest management. "Dont do anything until you actually see the pests, then treat the lawn for those pests." For up to five free copies of the GAO report, call (202) 275-6241, or write: U.S. General Accounting Office, PO Box 6015, Gaithersburg, MD 20877. Ask for report No. RCED-90-134, dated March 23, 1990, and titled Lawn Care Pesticides: Risks Remain Uncertain While Prohibited Safety Claims Continue.

Some companies automatically renew each year unless you give them written notice. Find out what renewal costs, and how much you can expect costs to increase from year to year. According to Ned Zuelsdorff, director of pesticide and ground water programs for the state Department of Agriculture, Trade and Consumer Protection, lawn care companies must give you the opportunity to get specific details about the treatments they use. In Wisconsin, lawn care companies are required to let you know that certain information is available during the initial contact between you and the company. You can choose not to read the information, but the company must offer to tell you: The name and amount of any pesticides they might use to treat the lawn.

Any precautions you should take before the lawn is treated, such as leaving the immediate area. Advance notice of when the company plans to treat the lawn so that you can arrange to leave, keep children inside, etc. Once the lawn is treated, the company must tell you: What pesticides actually were used, and in what amount. What precautions the company took (warning neighbors, Lawn services are not required to post signs that your lawn has been treated. However, some companies, such as Chemlawn, do so voluntarily.

By Mary Conroy The Capital Times If youre considering using a lawn service, the Federal Trade Commission recommends these steps: Get recommendations from neighbors whove used lawn care services. Get estimates from several companies. Find out what each estimate includes; the lowest estimate may not offer all the services you need. Dont assume that your lawn needs the same treatment as your neighbors. If you are getting a free lawn analysis, make sure its a custom analysis.

Check with the Better Business Bureau to see if any complaints have been lodged. Ask if the company belongs to a professional pest control association. Associations keep members up-to-date. Find out whether the company has liability insurance to cover accidents. Read the contract to see if there are extra charges for such services as fertilizing, reseeding or disease control.

Find out if the work is guaranteed, what the guarantee includes, and how long its in effect. For example, if a seeding job produced no improvement, will the company return and reseed next year for free? Ask how to renew or cancel your contract. Video channel out Wrap water heater to save energy bucks Continued from Page ID changed programming from sports to video. They thought the programming was worthless. They couldnt see us using up a channel for the programming.

But Novotny could be wrong, considering the outcry last year when he yanked Video Hits-1 for the Consumer News and Business Channel. Friday says all she wanted was a fair shot at keeping their videos on cable. She says she was disappointed Novotny would not consider an alternative channel for WSSM such as cable Channel 3 now used to air a local weather graphic and scrawl. He never talked to us about energy users that are invisible or inaudible, says Alan Meier, a home energy expert at the Lawrence Berkeley Laboratory, a Department of Energy-funded research center in Berkeley, Calif. Apart from the replacement of electricity-guzzling appliances, such as an old electric-powered water heater or an outdated refrigerator, the biggest return on investment is likely to come in energy savings related to your use of hot water, says Karina Lutz, managing editor of Home Energy magazine.

The water heater is the second-largest consumer of energy in most households, after the furnace or other heating system, she ob serves. A water-heater wrap is the cheapest conservation you can buy, says Lutz, noting that a water-heater blanket can be purchased for $10 to $15 at a local hardware store and can be expected to save the owner of an electric water heater an average of $30 in the first year alone. The low-flow showerhead is another incredible energy saver, according to Lutz. Showers represent a major use of hot water in most households, and reducing the flow per minute will usually mean less of a drain on the familys hot-water reserves. By Ellen Janies Baltimore Sun If you are aggravated by a family members persistent demands that you turn out lights and keep the refrigerator door closed to save electricity, here is your defense.

Energy experts say that such behavioral changes are relatively meaningless when it comes to cutting your electric bill. On the other hand, a few painless technical fixes, such as blanketing your hot-water heater or installing a low-flow showerhead, can save you a bundle. A common mistake is to forget about the the popularity of the channel, Friday says. We find it interesting they dropped us for a service they have to pay for and then pass that expense on to their subscribers with a 1 price increase. Friday says WSSM will remain popular among people without cable, but admits the station is hurt by Novotnys decision to switch programming.

Were going to have to step up our promotion efforts to explain how easy it is to switch over if you have cable," adds Friday. But yes, it will affect us. Friday says she is fielding calls at the station for viewers with questions as to how to pick up the video channel on their cable-ready TV sets or through their VCR. TV A GOOD is o- there's No Place Like For Fitness! Cal-Gym Concorde 300. Dont hassle with crowded health clubs! Build the body youve always wanted at home.

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