The Cat Came Back Because there was no place like the home where they used ISanta Glaus Soap • This Great Soap makes home, home indeed. Keeps everything clean. Keeps the housewife and everybody happy. Try it. Sold everywhere. Made only By THE N. K. FAIRBANK COMPANY, Chicago. AFTEK-DINNEtt ORATORY Bottlod Eloquence Uncorked at Biff Banquets. A TlrenonriB Hipcrlxncn for thn Avc CUlzvn—Hrllltntit PoMt-I'rnnUlul ttpejiki-rs Aro AlvvnyH In l>oji>iAu<L Wo have como upon an age of dinners and orator}', and thn inclination to mix the two is leading to interesting consequences. It i.s a matter of easy calculation to show that from the (irst of November to the first of May the public pcrs given in this country average i than a hundred a night, and, as Sere are at least six speeches at each, tho total is usually impressive. At many of these dinners, says Frank Leslie's Weekly, tho same stories are told; a speaker who originates a happy illustration or a successful bon root is re- ccboed wherever his performance is known. "I wish I had said that," said Oscar Wilde- to Whistler, after one of Whistler's best epigrams, "Oh, but you will say it," responded tho merciless James. It is largely that way with after-dinner oratory, and we may well inquire where tho fashion is going to end unless it i.s more judiciously directed. There is an awful suspicion that tho people who buy ten dollar and twenty dollar tickets, and who simply eat and ' drink and listen, may get tired of being bored. It is one of the disadvantages ; of the growth of total abstinence that It makes- tho jitter-dinner audience more critical. When under the full in• apiratipn of unnumbered bottles tho . banqueter cares very little about tho . quality of tho speeches. All that ho hopes to do is to keep his eyes open, his body steady, and occasionally^ to .pound tho table by way of showing' .'those urotind him that he is the soberest man In tho company. It is easy for a prosy speaker to work off moss-coverocl anecdotes upon nn intellectual condition o'f this kind. And it i.s still easier for • tho victims of the evening to sing "L'pr he's a jolly good follow," whether they really think ho is or not. Hut nowadays intemperance, even at banquets, is distinctly unfashionable.- Tho many wines are tasted more than they are drunk. The quality is praised, while ' tho man who "goes in" for mere quantity is sot down as a vulgarian. There ore exceptions, of course, and there are many dinners which end in mcutnl fog ^jfe physical uncertainty. But tho ffk majority of thn banquets are sober affairs, and the post-prandial oru- tor finds before him a hundred or more of clean, keen and intelligent faces that measure him at his own height, and do not magnify his size or his words •through an alcoholic atmosphere. The increase of sobriety, therefore, distinct- lythrcatenstobringafter-dinner speaking 1 down to » practical basis on which a boro will be recognized as a bore and • plagiarist as a plagiarist. At best a banquet is a tiresome e\- -pcrieuco for the average citizen, nnd if tho people who support banquets .should make up their minds to revolt, •what is to become of the numerous gentlemen who are assured in their . own minds that they arc very happy as after-dinner speakers, but who sometimes fail to prove the fncts to those .-who hear thorn? A mania of this kind . is practically incurable. Heretofore it • has existed \ipoa the good-natured tol- craoce of friendship, :md in yours to 'come, as there may bo a necessity of 'finding a way to handle it, then^ will 'doubtlos arise a post-prandial audience ; agency, which will supply on short no- j tico to orators of this kind a brilliant and appreciative, assemblage, who will 'appiziud at the right time and with the fervor of real enthusiasm. •There is another thing. Tlio really Ibrilliunt post-prandial speakers are be- iieired with applications all through tho year. Xhcre are so it-.v ur really good ones in proportion to tho demand that they cannot begin to accept a third of tho invitations that arc extended to them. Now, all this means work, and tho men who are •worth listening to are generally men who work hard in their profession Or in their business. More than one of them has sacrificed a part of his life for after-dinner speeches, which at best could only bo fleeting' in their interest find results. The dinner with us has not yet come to an occasion for the promulgation of important principles of policies. The speeches are most successful ' when most fragmentary; but tho strain is there just the same. As tho world grows older every leading business man becomes more engrossed in his particular work. W$|tervo not yet succeeded in cultivutin'g leisure. But among the men who bear tho honors in the different walks are many who begin to see that they must conserve their energies, and that they havo yet to learn that sitting six hours at a table and eating and drinking a lot of things which the human stomach docs not especially want is a poor way to take care of health. Perhaps these gentlemen may revolt from banquets nnd leave the field to the great army of mediocrities, who mean well, but who do not love their fellow-men as much as they should. Perhaps there may be a way out of the difficulty through the phonograph and the kinctoscope, but that is yet to be developed. It is certain that the giving of banquets will go on, and that there will be need for speech-making. We must look at the question fairly, and then do what we can to reform it. The first great stop should be for tho listeners to put down tho stupid orator, and the next great step should bo for the brig-lit orator to avoid the stupid listeners. GERMANY'S NEW CANAL. It Will Unite the North Sea with the Quiet Baltic. for the eight-year period being ".000. The engineering work was performed under the supervfsion of experts appointed by the German government: I Th* Great Engineering Work to B« Fo nially Dedlcited Jnn» 2O In the Pretence of Warahlpi from All ClrlllMd Nation*. [Written for This Paper.) On June 20 warships from all nations will meet in German -waters to celebrate the opening of the "Nord- Ostsee," or Baltic, canal, the foundation stone of which was laid by the aged Emperor William I. eight years ago. gineering enterprise will mark a new epoch in European trade distribution. The canal, which runs from the town of Brunsbuettel, a few miles above the mouth of tho Elbe, to Holtenau, three and one-half miles north of Ulel, unites the North sea with the Baltic, and will enable all kinds of vessels, from the but most o'f the contracts were let to Dutch firms who employ Swiss and i Italian laborers. The average pay for common day labor was from 65 to 75 cents, and for skilled workmen from $1 to $1.50 per day. The government took care that the contractors treated their men according to stipulation, and caused the erection of barracks and hospitals along the route of the LOSS OF THE HAT. to nthbiff Alttkod a Mun Madder -Tim: Iluvti Th;it Arllclo Stoit'u. "Nothing' makes a man madder." said a philosopher, "than to lose his hut. To have it blown from his head in 'the street is bitter omburnisunent; to 'lose it accidentally is a severe misfortune, and to havo it stolon is the deepest, blackest outrage that one can suffer. That is one crlmo whiuh a man can never forgive. The theft of almost any other personal belong! ng may possibly bo condoned Or eventually forgotten. The loss of an umbrella is often exasperating 1 , but at worst it only exposes a man to the pultinff rain, but take away a man's headgear and you strike him a vital blow. I don't know why it is that a man is so sensitive about having his head covered. A woman will go bareheaded with perfect self-possession. Of course, she has more hair than a man, but then she will drape a shawl or a handkerchief over her head and feel perfectly comfortable. But remove a man's hat and you rob him at the same time of all confidence and self-respect, llu feels utterly helpless and exposed to scorn ;uid contumely, as well as to the sun and wind, lie is conscious of his huliurousstate and imagines that everybody is laughing 1 at him, which stirs liis wrath to the boiling point. "Occasionally you may see a man rush out of doors bareheaded in a tr.o- rnent of great excitement, but as soon us he comes to his senses the first thing he will seek is some kind of a head- covering. The merest apology for a cap or hat will suffice, but without it he fee-Is lost. Possibly this sentiment is a relic of the barbaric days, when all mankind went helmeted, at the mercy of their enemies. At any rate, the liabit of hat-wearing has been cultivated so long that it has become second nature." E.MPEBOR WILLIAM. [From bis latest photograph. 1 leaviest man-of-war to the lightest, merchantman, to avoid the dangers of /he Cattogat and the perilous coasts and countless islands off the Danish and Swedish shore. Marine statistics prove that from 1853 to the present ime nearly 3,000 vessels have been lost n the sound, and more than 8,500 have sustained more or less damage, to say nothing of the thousands of lives which ave been sacrificed during the same period. German newspapers and periodicals are full of data concerning the great vaterway, the entire route of which ies within the province of Holstein, which was wrested from Denmark in 804 by the allied Prussian and Aus- rian armies. Its course is in a slight- y northern direction for about half he distance, curving south again to he extremities, which are almost in the ame latitude, and as nearly us possi- ilo fifty miles distant as the crow ies. With a view to naval operations, the entire canal was buiit on a generous plan. Its bed for nearly forty miles from Kiel is horizontal, the remaining portion having a fall varying in 1 in 200,00fl to 3 in 100,500. Its width at the bottom is SO feet, and its depth there SO feet. The surface width is 27 feet, with a banquette depth at the sides of 10 feet, amply sufficient for Baltic trading vessels, which rarely draw more than IS feet, to pass each other without inconvenience. The total actual distance of the canal is 5BK miles, which can be traversed, it is estimated, in 18 hours, including delays necessary in the locks. Two locks have been established— one on the E'.be and the other near Kiel. The average level of the canal is the same ns that of the Baltic, which varies only during about three weeks in the year. The locks are 402 feet long, 82 feet wide and 32 4-3 feet deep on the sill. The entrances In a financial way, also, the canal has proved a surprise, inasmuch as its ^.a, ,_iw. ,,..„„„ -. v. ~- cost has been kept within the first es- The completion" of "this" vast ~en- ! timate of $37,440,000. Of this sum the kingdom of Prussia contributed one- third; the rest was furnished by the imperial treasury. A recent writer in an English publication calls attention to the fact that the stockholders of the famous Manchester ship canal paid $75,000,000 for its construction, although the total excavation amounted to but 52,500,000 cubic yards, or 10,500,000 cubic yards less than the total excavation for the Baltic canal. The history of this great German waterway is very interesting. The. originator of the idea, an eminent Hamburg engineer named Dohlstroen, presented his scheme to Prince Bismarck, then chancellor of the empire, in 1S7S. • The rnun of blood and iron saw the advantage of the plan at once, but was opposed by Count Von Jloltke, chief of the general staff of the German army, because he thought it would require an entire ariny corps to stand guard over tho canal. Eventually, 1 however, the famous strategist convinced himself that even from a purely military point of view the new avenue of communication between the North sea and the Baltic provinces would be of incalculable benefit to the empire, and in 1SSO supported a bill for its establishment in the reichstag 1 . On the first day of October of the same year the venerable Kaiser \ViJhelm, then SO years of age, traveled from Berlin to Kiel to lay the foundation stone;.and on June 20 his grandson will formally dedicate the canal at the same place for the glory of the German empire and the good of all mankind. The town which will derive the greatest benefit from the canal is Kiel, for some time the principal station of the Baltic fleet. In 1SOO this city had a population of 00.172, but since then Prince Ilnnry of Prussia has established a permanent residence in the old pain of the prince of Holstcin-Got- torpac. This raovu attracted a largo population of thrifty burghers, who love to bask in the 'sunshine of the royal presence, even though each indi' vidnal ray may cost tliPtn several scores of marks. The emperor "boomed" the place by making it the headquarters of the Imperial German Yacht club and instituting a series of annual regattas of an international character. Considering its size Kiel is the liveliest city in What is Castoria is Dr. Samuel Pitchers prescription for Infant* and Children. It contains neither Opium, Morphine uor other Xarcotic substance. It is a harmless substitute for Paregoric, Drops, Soothing Syrups, and Castor OIL It is Pleasant. Its guarantee is thirty years' use by Millions of Mothers. Castoria destroys Worms and allays feverishness. Castoria prevents vomiting Sour Curd, cures Diarrhoea and Wind Colic. Castoria relieves teething troubles, cures constipation and flatulency. Castoria assimilates the food, regulates the stomach and bowels, giving healthy and natural sleep. Cas» toria is the Children's Panacea—the BIotfcsz',3 Friend. Castoria. an excellent medicine tor children. Mothers havo repeatedly told mo of its good effect upon Iheir children." DK. Q. C. OBOOOD, Lowell, Moss. " Castoria Is the best remedy for children of which I am acquainted. I hope the day is not far distant when mothers willconsidcr the real interest of their children, and use Castoria instead of the variousquock nostrums which are destroying their loved ones, by forelnff opium, morphine, soothing gyrup and other hurtful agents down their throats, thereby sending them to premature graves." DR. J. F. KINCKELOI, Conway, Ark. Castoria. " Castoria is so we!! £<?aptod to children the* • J'reoommo^U it assiKcriortoany prescription. known to rue." H. A. AIICIIKB, M. D., 11) So. Oxford St., Brooklyn, N. T. " Our physicians in uio children's department have spoken highly of their experience in their outside practice with Castoria, and although wo only have among our mediral supplies what is known as regular products, yet w« are free to confess that U»» merits of Castoria has woo u» to look with favor upon it." USITEP HOSI'ITAL *XD DlSI'KNSlET, Boston, 1 ALLKN C. SMITH, Prts.. The Centaur CompanTi TJ Murray Street, New Tork City. IN THE WORLD I For keeping the System In a Healthy Condition. CURES Hoadach*. CURES Constipation, Acts on the Llvor and Kidneys, Purifies th« Blood, Dispels Colds and Fevers. Beautifies the Complexion and M PleHsIngr and Refreshing to the Taste. SOLO BY ALL. DKUOQlsra. 4STA nicely illustrated ei^hty-pape Lincoln Story BOOK- R-ivcn to every purchaser of •. e of Lincoln Tea. Price 25c- -A.skyour drnsrifisuor J.INCOLN TEA Co., Fort Wayne,!**. For Sale by W B. Porter. mense breakwaters, built of stone brought from Saxony. At the southern extremity of the canal, at Brunsbuettel, there is an outer h>f:'bor 1,513 feet long by 336 feet wide. ^i'At this -end • the tide runs high and strong, necessitating the opening and closing of the gates every day. This is not a disadvantage, however, for the opening of tho g-ates for three or four hours at each low tide will keep the water in tl*2 canal and flowing. The canal, of course, interfered with the railways and public high ways, but the 'government has provided liberally OXE OF THE SUSPENSION MBIDGBS. Europe from a naval and military view point; and its ancient university and have im- | rare art museums lend it a dignity pos- SCROFULA tiOwDoll* Slevcns, of Boston. Mass., writes: I — Stevens, of Boston. V«ss., _ j suffered Irom horodltary Scrofula. oua remedies, undmauy reliable pby- >ul none re... Aftcrtaklng tbotttaol S.3.S.W1 m well. I am TOTT 1 •teiul to you, «s I loci ' it It Bired mo from »• i of. q mold «gony, and iball take pletmn in -^'ng only •word* ol praise lor your won- medlctno. »nd in wcommendingll to — all who lire afflict** wUhthLi painful di»e«»e. TreatlM onBlood aadSkii SWIFT SPECIFIC C<X- AttanU, Oa. ss Abriihnni'B T.lacoln'a Or«adfiither. li. T. Durrett, of Louisville, at one time an editorial writer on tne Courier- Joornal, in a letter to City Controller Sturgeon makes the following reference to tie grandfather of Abraham Lincoln: "The grandfather of President Lincoln settled .in Jefferson county, Ky.. in 17SO on a tract of four hundred acres of land, where the old Long Run Uaptist meeting-house now stands. The land warrant which was issued to him for this land bears dat« of March 4, 17SO, and his naroo appears in it as 'Abraham Linkhorn.' He was killed on this land by the Indians in 1780. Morgan .Hughes also owned a tract of five hundred acres of lawjadjoining the Lincoln tract, and, like Lincoln, was one of the earliest settlers of Jefferson county. On this land of Hughes' an old station, known as Hughes 1 Station, was built at an early date, and Lincoln was residing in this station when he was killed by the Indians." MAP BOUTK OF TOE C-UTA1. for the convenience of the public. Fonr railways and ten country roads are carried over.it b}- means of drawbridges, •and at two points suspension bridges have been erected, the one at Gruenthal being a beantiful, high level structure, about 13S feet above water level. Sixteen ferries, located at distances of four miles apart, have also been established. The Baltic canal bridges are high enough to allow vessels with loftv masts to pass beneath theui. The most remarkable fact afc-int the canal is that it will-be finished -within. the period named in the original contracts. The work of excavation •was begun June 3, 1887, and, the formal dedication is to occnr Jnne 20 of this year. At times 10,000 men were em- nlored In the irreat work, the averac-e sessed by none of its rivals. The opening of the canal will, it is expected, increase its trade in every direction and make it a formidable rival of rich and powerful Hamburg-. Luebeck, once the queen of the Han- seatic league, but now adulland sleepy- town, also expects a trade revival as soon as vessels beg-in to pass through the canal; and so do Stettin, Dantzig sweet j an( 3 ever y other Baltic seaport town. But not alone German cities expect a favorable trade revolution from the opening of the great waterway. Libau, the famous CourhKid port, has been improved by the Evresian government at the expense of over f 2.000,000, and nearly 51.000.000 has been expended in the construction of deep-water docks on the Neva near St. Petersburg. In many respects the Baltic canal will prove of as great importance as the Suez canal. It will divert valuable trade from the railroad centers of eastern Europe to the Baltic seaport towns which, for several decades, have been unable to compete with the great Xorth seaports. At the same time Hamburg, which is located near the southern extremity of the canal, expects to be benefited by the opening. It hopes to become the supply distributing center of northern Europe and the terminal station for all Baltic sea shipping. Thus it will be seen that almost evcrvbody is satisfied with the construction of the Baltic canal. The army authorities like it because it will be of assistance in transporting troops; naval commanders claim that it will do • more than anything else to strengthen the Gennj^Fnavy; merchants and manufacturers think it will expand trade and revive dormant towns; Russia expects that it will assist in the development of her merchant marine. In order to 'attract international trade the German government has established an extremely low toll rates for vessels 'passing through the canal—• about 18 cents per net register ton. The authorities expect that about 7,000,000 tons will use the canal the first year and perhaps a third more the second year. Thirty-five thousand vessels now pass around the Jutland promontory ever;-- year, and it is calculated that about jne-half of these will use the canal within the first twelvemonth. ] ICYCLES, ARE THE HIGHEST OF ALI HIGH GRADES. Warranted Superior to nr.v Bicycle Built l.i tlie World R?a;irdl(>si! at Price Built and guaranteed by the Imllann Bicycle Co., it Million Ui liar corporation, whose bOHJ Is as Kood a.-- noli). Do not buy s wiieel until jou liave seen Hie WAVJERLEY. Catalogue Tree. Good agents wanted In every town. Scorclier21]bs.,$85 I Indiana Bicycle Co., Indianapolis, Ind., U.S. A "WHERE DIRT GATHERS, WASTE RULES." 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