National Post from Toronto, Ontario, Canada • 22

SP2 PAGE TWO -NATIONAL POST, MONDAY, DECEMBER 3, 2001 The trappings of youth are lost on an NBA rookie ne month into his NBA career, Shane Battier doesn't look like much of a player. Sure, he can score. Yes, he can rebound. But when it comes to that most dazzling of NBA skills accessorizing he's obviously inept. In a league where diamond studs are standard, where platinum ropes are required wearing, Battier sports one measly piece of jewellery.

the ring my girlfriend gave me as a friendship ring straight sterling silver, not even platinum," says Battier. "I like to consider myself the anti-NBA glamour player. I drive a simple car a Jeep Cherokee that I had in college OFF CENTRE BUTTERING UP BARTHEZ AND HIS BLUNDERS BY SEAN FITZ- It doesn't have the cachet of a car company or even the prestige of a pizza place, but for Manchester United goaltender Fabien Barthez, becoming a butter salesman would seem to be a perfect fit. beleaguered French netminder has been awful lately, making glaring errors that have cost his storied Premier League team games, and earned him a reputation as a bit of a "butterfingers." Sensing a marketing bonanza, a British supermarket chain announced last week that it was going to approach Barthez to promote a new brand of butter. "He's rich, smooth and spreads well exactly the same qualities Aisplayed by our butter," the company's dairy produce spokesman Simon Soffe said in a statement.

"After after Sunday's performance, no one can doubt that Fabien is the ultimate butterfingers." Barthez, who helped his native France win both the World Cup and European Championship, spurred the idea by making a pair of nasty mistakes in a game against rival Arsenal two weeks ago, condemning his side to a 3-1 defeat. -While he should be accustomed to the media glare as a member of Manchester United, his errors have given more prominence to His efforts. Barthez was free of blunders Saturday, but his Man. U. teammates were not, losing 3- 0 at home to rival Chelsea.

The grocery chain, Tesco, said it is likely to approach Barthez some time this month about entering in to a joint venture. While the goaltender and team have yet to comment on the idea, the supermarket chain has suggested Barthez could be used to sell a garlic butter or, perhaps, even his own, unique brand. "Barthez's goalkeeping errors may have put him on a slippery slope with his boss Sir Alex Ferguson but he may unwittingly have handed himself an additional contract," the grocery chain spokesman said. "Barthez and butter could prove to be the greatest day for Anglo-French relations since the Channel Tunnel and the Concorde." National Post, with files from news services and my bachelor pad is very low-key. If you're looking for NBA glamour, you're looking at the wrong guy." But if you're looking for the rookie leader in endorsement deals, look to Battier, whose straight-edged image not to mention the name recognition that came with winning an A NCAA championship last spring has NUMBERS scored him the lucrative contracts that his straight-from-high-school colleagues haven't been able to command.

Battier is already pushing Casio's version of the Palm Pilot, and he's being paid to wear a basketball shoe made by Oakley, a company primarily known for its sporty sunglasses. But Battier is hoping to do more than flog products; he says he's interested in forming a relationship with the business community that will benefit his WHAT'S UP WITH Larry Jeffrey is one of the lesser-known champions of 1967, although he was one of the most recognizable Toronto Maple Leafs in pictures, at least 'The guy on crutches' he last time the Leafs Jeffrey Stanley Toronto Cup, won celebrated Maple Larry the BY DAVE FESCHUK on crutches: In his nine-year career, the gritty left winger suffered through 11 operations on his right knee. And although he got his lone championship ring in 1967, the lame joint kept him out of the decisive series not to mention the team's postgame social circle. "After the game, everybody would go out for a beer, and I'd have to go to the hospital and have my knee "Almost drained," remembers it Jeffrey. would every game, swell up so big, I couldn't bend it.

I lived in the hospital, draining it, shooting it with cortisone. But I wanted to play, so I did whatever I had to do." In the 1960s, that meant surrendering to sports medicine's primitive beginnings. After hurting his knee in his firstever big-league exhibition game in 1961, he was was fitted with a long line of bulky knee braces, pained by a succession of unsuccessful surgeries, and promised relief by many a newfangled treatment including a memorably smelly salve that was billed as a "ligament tightener." "I was experimenting with anything and everything that was available in those days," he says. "The doctors gave me some special remedy that smelled like sulphur. You had to wear gloves to rub it in.

And one day the doctor called me and said, 'Stop using I guess they'd had word that mice were going blind in the lab tests with this stuff." Despite his lingering woes, Jeffrey had his best season in 1967. Manning a line with Ron Ellis and Red Kelly, he managed 28 points in 56 regular-season games before yet more knee trouble The Best Things in Life Are Free Always Complimentary at The Grand: Deluxe Continental Breakfast In Room High Speed Internet Local Calls In Room Movies Drop Off Shuttle Anywhere Downtown 5,000 sq ft Fitness Centre and Rooftop Terrace Business Centre In room kichenette Experience Downtown Toronto's Most Luxurious Boutique Style Hotel Special Rates from (extended stay rates also available) The GRAND HOTEL SUITES TORONTO Reservations 1-877-32-GRAND or 416-863-9000 Book online www.grandhoteltoronto.com or with your Travel Professional to applicable taxes, conditions availability post-basketball "I'm looking to do things that are intelligent," he has said. "It's more fun that way. I have a lot of creative control over my brand and my image. What more can you ask for?" The Grizzlies couldn't ask for a more trouble-free pair of rookies: Battier, 23, shares his unflashy streak 1 with teammate Pau Gasol, the 21-year-old Spanish seven-footer.

"They're not into a lot of the youth things," says coach Sidney Lowe of the youngsters. "You won't see pants hanging off their behinds and hat turned to the side. They're straight-laced guys, more or less. So in this league, they're a little different." Dave Feschuk, National Post sidelined him for most of the playoffs. There were no miracle cures, of course, and although Jeffrey was always told his knee was beyond further injury "The doctors always said, 'You can't hurt it anymore'" the chronic pain forced him out of the game in 1969, and his condition continued to deteriorate.

Five years ago, aged 56 and running an advertising business in his hometown of Goderich, he was walking with a pronounced limp and suffering considerable discomfort from the same old source. "It was like I was 90," he says. "I didn't want to have a cane all my life." So Jeffrey underwent knee replacement surgery to rid himself of his shredded nemesis. And his new gait fortified by the spaceaged hinge that connects his upper and lower leg has been painless ever since. "It doesn't ache anymore," he says.

"Plastic don't ache." Jeffrey will have a chance to catch up on a few of those missed post-game beers tonight, when many of the members of Toronto's last dynasty winners of four Cups in the 1960s will reunite at the Royal York Hotel in a charity event to benefit Campbell House, a local museum dedicated to preserving Toronto's heritage. The $250-per-plate dinner will give the '67 Leafs a chance revel in their status as a hockey town's last champions. And although Jeffrey is one of the lesserknowns from a legendary squad, he still gets more TV face time than the average oldtimer. "Every time Toronto does get into the playoffs nowadays it seems the CBC is showing pictures of us," he says. "It's easy to pick 1 me out.

I always tell my kids, I'm the guy on the National Post APLE THE ESSENTIALS SUE OGROCKI REUTERS Tim Floyd's Chicago Bulls are, if nothing else, consistent. THE COUNT 1 The number of chairs kicked in before losing to the New York to the stands by Chicago Bulls centre Brad Miller Saturday night. 1-12 The Chicago Bulls' record after 13 games in the 2001-02 season. 1-12 The Chicago Bulls' record after 13 games in the 2000-01 season. 1-12 The Chicago Bulls' record after 13 game in the 1999-2000 season.

That's the kind of consistency that makes chair-kicking an accepted form of behaviour. 6 The number of undefeated regular seasons by the University of Miami in football team after the Hurricanes' win over Virginia Tech on Saturday. 7 The number of consecutive games at home the Montreal Canadiens went without a loss SHOOTING FROM THE LIP The week in sports quotes "Major-league owners extend Bud Selig's contract make him commissioner for life or until the Emmys air, whichever comes first Dallas Cowboys offence said to be in "secure, undisclosed location" Vice president not seen publicly for weeks; analysts think he might be at an Expos game Subscribers protest Taliban's annual swimsuit issue, claim burqas reveal too much eyelid Afghanistan declines 2002 Olympics invite, will concentrate on 2004 Paralympics instead." ESPN.com's Jim Caples, combining the sports ticker with the CNN news crawl. "You know what the bounty is on Osama bin Laden? It's $25-million. That sounds like a lot until you realize the Texas Rangers paid $250-million to get Alex Rodriguez." The Tonight Show's Jay Leno.

"I'm glad to see that at a time when the commissioner is dropping a contraction bomb on everybody, they're still going to find time to work on his deal. I wish we all had that kind of job security right now." Denny Hocking, the player representative of the at-risk Minnesota Twins, before baseball's owners extended the term of Bud Selig, the contraction commissioner. "I don't know how guys can dribble between their legs." Orlando Magic coach Doc Rivers, after two of his players, Andrew DeClercq and Tracy McGrady, were among nine NBA stars fined for wearing their shorts too long. Rivers suggested it was time for the short shorts of his playing days to return. "Maybe it will bring in more fans.

Back then, it looked like a male strip show out there." "This isn't like a flat tire you can fix. This is a blowout and nothing's open for 100 miles. So we have to do some walking." Charles Oakley, of the Chicago Bulls, after his team scored a franchise-low six points in the third quarter of 1 Tuesday's loss to the New Jersey Nets, Chicago's 10th straight defeat. "It's like building a house you don't get the foundation right, the house ain't going to sit right. Right now, I don't know if we ran out of concrete or ran out of money." Oakley, with yet another analogy for the Bulls.

"Mickey Mouse already was taken." An unidentified observer, after it was announced heavyweight boxer Lance Whitaker had applied to have his first name officially changed to Goofi. "I felt a bit of a pinch but I didn't realize what had done until I saw the video." Jose Antonio Reyes, a teenage striker in Spain, after Sevilla teammate Francisco Gallardo celebrated a Reyes goal by biting the player's penis. "It's sad that everyone is making so much of a fuss about this It was nothing at all." Francisco Gallardo. "Can you picture France's Zinedine Zidane blowing off the World Cup of soccer to attend his kid's school play? Or Australia's Cathy Freeman bowing out of the Olympics because of her daughter's dance recital?" Ed Willes, of The Province, after goaltender Patrick Roy suggested skipping the Olympics might allow him to attend his son's peewee hockey tournament. Rangers on Saturday.

The Canadiens went 15-20-4-2 at home last season. 45 Years ago today that Wilt Chamberlain scored 52 points in his college debut with Kansas. 66 Years since Toronto goaltender George Hainsworth faced six penalty shots in one season, a record current Maple Leafs netminder Curtis Joseph is on pace to break after facing his fourth Saturday night. 929 Increase in attendance (19, 138) for this year's Vanier Cup in Toronto, even though the game didn't have an Ontario team. $990,190 Amount of money FIFA will give each of the 32 countries competing at next summer's World Cup to help cover the cost of preparations.

"I did room with him for a while. Actually, I mostly roomed with Bo's luggage, still packed He said, 'Live fast, die young and have a great-looking Albie Pearson, speaking at a memorial service for former Los Angeles Angels teammate Bo Belinsky, who was best known for his adventures off the field, where he dated, among others, Mamie Van Doren, Juliet Prowse, Tina Louise, Connie Stevens and Ann-Margret. Compiled by Jim Bray, Dave Feschuk, National Post 1.