National Post from Toronto, Ontario, Canada • 31

BEST OF SUMMER NATIONAL POST. WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 21, 2002 AL5 ALBERTA The mall that never sleeps JULIA MCKINNELL at West Edmonton Mall t's unbelievable that you've got that room. I'm serious," says the marketing person for the West Edmonton Mall, who is beaming at me with the utmost sincerity. Travis Reynolds has been with West Edmonton Mall for seven years, working his way up "the marketing ladder." "You must have a halo," he says. "A light coming down on you." And this is because I have just mentioned that while I am in Edmonton for the next two nights, I will I be staying at Fantasyland Hotel, which is one of two hotels at the mall, and the one that offers a selection of theme rooms.

When I made the reservation, was I was asked which room I wanted? The Hollywood? The Polynesian? The Arabian? The Truck Room or the Waterpark Room? "What's the Waterpark?" I said. "Oh, it looks right over the Waterpark," I was told. "A part of a cruise ship is sort of coming out of the wall." "OK. I'll take it," I said. But check-in time at Fantasyland is not until 4 p.m.

Since it is noon when I arrive, I have arranged for a tour. West Edmonton Mall is happy to host birthday parties and organized group tours for parties over 15. The hotel itself runs an independent tour of its theme rooms daily at p.m. The tour is free but so popular with tourists, a reservation is needed to ensure a spot within the 20-person limit. But now enthusiasm from the marketing person is getting me excited.

A halo over my head? Some weird light shining on me? "Get out of here," I yell at him. "Oh yeah, you're very lucky," he says. And I should mention I am sightseeing the mall largely on the recommendation of the Lonely Planet Travel Guide to Canada. "If you thought a shopping cen- TODD KOROL NATIONAL POST The world's largest indoor water park is one of the attractions at West Edmonton Mall, which includes two hotels, one with theme rooms. tre as an attraction had no place in this guidebook," it says, "think again.

It's so overwhelming, it's worth taking a look." Not only is West Edmonton Mall the largest mall on the face of the planet, I find out, its enclosed structure spans 48 city blocks and holds several entries into the Guinness Book of Records. Here is the largest indoor amusement park. The largest indoor water park. The highest indoor bungee tower. The biggest man-made lake.

Outside is the world's largest parking lot, with spaces for 20,000 cars. "How do you explain it," says Mr. Reynolds of his task to convey the mall's concept. "People have a tough time grasping it. I mean, if you're McDonald's, you're talking burgers.

But how do you explain this? This brand? We're submarines and sharks. Dolphins and miniature golf. A casino. You know what," he says, "we're almost a discovery type of entity. The discover-the-fun type of tag.

That brand entity is what's coming out." Mr. Reynolds and I make our first stop at the indoor water park, where today, 3,000 people will pay $30 each for a full-day pass. "This is where you sit back and dream of Hawaii." Toward the back wall, a 12-panelled wave machine flaps intervals of chlorinated water, which then lap at a stage of deck chairs set on the "shore" of this two-hectare park. A colourful cabana sells food and beverage items. The "beach" is a beige-coloured rubber flooring that used to be real sand, says Mr.

Reynolds, but which was removed because "it was clogging up the drain system." On the positive side, however, is the water park's "predictable weather." "It's always 28C in here, 365 days a year. You can buy a beer or a martini slushy drink and bring it right over here," he says. July and August are tourist season at West Edmonton Mall. "We're very, very explains Mr. Reynolds as he moves us along and into the chill air-conditioned atmosphere of more than 800 retail outlets.

Two young women pulling a trolley cart greet Mr. Reynolds. Their cargo consists of two cat travel cages, apparently containing something live. Minutes later, a crowd gathers on the centre tile, where penguins are now madly waddling into a circle of shoppers. At any given time, 100,000 people stroll the mall's 5.1 million square feet.

So much revenue is generated here, that in monthly walking," we're told, "and because taxes alone to the city of Edmon- we're walking, you might want to ton, the mall pays sit down. That's no problem, just Annual municipal taxes add up to don't sit on the beds. That's all we more than $13-million. ask. If you have any questions, An information package de- that's what I'm here for.

There are scribes the mall as a "city that nev- no stupid questions. And for er sleeps." Its power consumption those of you with cameras, by all is the same as the city of Red Deer, means snap away." Alta. Its employment population As we enter the Roman Room, I is 23,500 people, ranking West notice the man in front of me is Edmonton Mall ahead of Medi- rolling a video camera. cine Hat in the total number of "It's actually fitting," says the people employed. manager, as we pile into the room, At lunch, I find myseif in an ex- "that we come in here and there traordinary hurry, spending more are rose petals on the floor.

This is time deciding what to eat, than one of the things we do for our eating. Should I go to Harvey's guests," he explains. "Rose petals where, for some reason, it appears on the floor, maybe on the bed, in I can have Swiss Chalet? Or the Jacuzzi. Pretty much your should I go to Tokyo Express imagination is the limit," he says, Sushi? Except where in Edmon- but then our tour is momentarily ton is the fresh fish coming from? interrupted by a woman found I settle on Chinese and race off to sitting on the circular king-sized my next appointment. bed.

"That's OK," says the to the tour," says a er, afterwards. "You weren't here man at the Fantasyland lobby for that part," he says, and we carwhose badge identifies him as ry on to our next set of rooms. manager. Today's tour is at maxi- In the Polynesian Room, the mum capacity, and person by per- manager wants to get our "grey son, we are checked off from a matter working," he says. list.

Most of the people are not "Here, you're sailing on some hotel guests, just curious sight- sort of catamaran off the Polyneseers. We will need two elevators sian isles. Why do you think we to lift us to our destination, where built so many of these Polynesian we will be viewing a list of rooms. Rooms?" he wants to know. "We'll be doing a little bit of A woman answers.

"Because of OLD STRATHCONA Trying to paint the town red on Whyte Avenue which 1,200 drunks looted stores woman's torso. It is not a sight numbers have doubled along what is perhaps the gem of Whyte BY ROBERT REMINGTON and fought police, egged on by Ms. Somerville cares to see again. Whyte Avenue since the riot. Later Avenue bars, The Savoy, one of naked supporters who ran along "It was a large canvas," she says.

that evening, the same policeman those rare Whyte Avenue estabEDMONTON It's Heavy Metal the rooftops of buildings. Ms. Somerville and Marc La- stops a couple of jaywalkers. He re- lishments where it is possible to Monday at Filthy McNasty's and There were no naked people douceur, both Edmonton musi- ports it has been a quiet night. actually have a conversation.

The four Aussies are sitting at the bar running on rooftops on Monday cians, have come along as my The bars of Whyte Avenue decor is classy yet comfortable and wearing sombreros. This is not un- night, although two women un- guides as we explore the under- range from such noisy Irish pubs the food reviews are favourable. usual during Edmonton's Fringe happy with their attire did ex- belly of the beast that is Whyte as O'Byrne's to such martini bars At the Commercial Hotel's theatre festival, where actors wan- change tops in the relative priva- Avenue after dark. as Devin's, where Ms. Somerville Blues on Whyte, Gerry Klapechi, der the streets and bars of Old cy of the ladies washroom at the Outside the Black Dog Free- orders her namesake, the Anna a regular patron, is listening to Strathcona in character trying to bar of the Commercial Hotel, Ed- house, a favourite spot for the Banana.

Mr. Ladouceur ponders the band. "It's got the cheapest recruit audiences for their shows. monton's smoke-filled home of young alternative crowd, a very a Creamy Beaver but opts for a booze on the strip and it's also the The Aussies, however, are not ac- blues music. The exchange was large policeman arrests two Blue Over You.

Myself, the boring busiest bar," Mr. Klapechi says. tors. "We just bought them for a witnessed by Anna Somerville, drunks who have accosted a guy traditionalist, goes for the classic Whyte Avenue's other cheap laugh," says one of the young men. who in the same washroom once playing an African drum.

"It's like gin, dry, with two olives. drinking establishment is the tavThis, as it turns out, will be the saw a woman remove all of her this every night with those guys," There are televisions, set into ern of the Strathcona Hotel, where most interesting scene we shall clothing in order to show a friend says the drummer, obviously fa- the floor, but they are turned off. you can still order "two and a juice" encounter this night along Whyte her full-body tattoos, which in- miliar with his tormenters. "Once "Everyone was standing around and not be regarded by the staff as Avenue, the bar and restaurant cluded characters from the Rocky they came at me with a plank and staring at the ground. It wasn't a visitor from another planet.

strip whose well-chronicled de- Horror Picture Show down one met the end of my boot." conducive to socializing," our bar- Several bars along Whyte, such as bauchery includes the infamous leg and an octopus on her back, Such incidents are quickly con- tender says. The Urban Lounge, serve as Canada Day riot of 2001, during its tentacles wrapping around the trolled by Edmonton police, whose Down the street, we arrive at venues for Fringe plays. An improv A a Hop Art. Left Hand 1 the esthetic reason?" "Actually, no," he says, and then someone else in the back pipes up. "There you go," he says.

"Because here $235 a you get the Hawaiian getaway without the Hawaiian getaway price." In the Truck Room, our attention is directed at the real trucks, which were craned in during the hotel's 1985 construction. The front of a yellow Ford truck is sticking out of the wall, and in the back of the truck is a double mattress. Traffic lights strung from the ceiling flash green, amber and red. A life-sized ceramic police officer is perched over the side of the Jacuzzi. Fantasyland offers 10 of these Truck Rooms, each of which was originally outfitted with a ceramic officer.

Seven of the statues were removed, however. "We had complaints," explains the "The maids would come in and find towels wrapped around the face, or something on its head. People are just a little too self-conscious." "OK you guys, are you ready for the next room?" he says. And it is the Waterpark Room. My room.

I am quite excited. There are oohs and aahs as we enter. "You can see people," says a woman, peering out the window at countless waders and swimmers four storeys below. Painted palm trees and beach umbrellas encase the room, mural-style. At the centre of the room is a lifeguard chair, on top of which sits the TV.

Beside the bed is indeed "part of a cruise ship sort of coming out of the wall." Interesting, I think, when the tour is finally over and I crawl into bed. Not a bad day, I think to myself. The room is a bit damp. The lighting is grim but the mattress is comfortable, and I might have a halo hovering over me. What more could a person want? But then a nightmare strikes that is so terrifying, I am hopelessly ripped from sleep.

The manager is back. People are everywhere. The tour is in my room again. It is on my bed. "We didn't think anyone was here," he is saying.

"What? But I'm here. I'm here," I cry. "This is my Waterpark Room!" And I wake up. Booking this room may be a dream come true for some, but still, deep inside, I guess I'm not entirely convinced. National Post group from Saskatchewan is doing a show at the bar each night this week, but by the time we arrive, the place has cleared out and Austrian waltz music is playing over the sound system.

Owner Tim Fuhr, president of the Old Strathcona Business Association, says business during the Fringe is good. "Normally, we are closed Sunday and Monday, but when you have half a million people coming down here during the 10 days of the Fringe, it helps," he said. Of the 50,000 people a day who pour into Old Strathcona during the Fringe, slightly more than buy tickets to shows. The rest are sipping lattes, shopping in the area's mostly locally owned specialty stores, or sitting on bar stools, which number approximately 12,100 in Old Strathcona, according to liquor licensing statistics. We attempted to hit them all and, mercifully, failed.

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