Times Colonist from Victoria, British Columbia, Canada • 44

33F 1 4 DRIVE Sunday, June 10, 1990 THREE TWO DRIVE Sunday, June 10, 1990 Warranties require very close loo Bumper billboards 0V itaekle any subject M- APA recommends buyer use caution and read that fine print carefully By Sandra McCulloch Magazine Writer When purchasing an extended warranty, read the fine print. That's the advice from the Toronto-based Automotive Protection Association. "People have to be careful," says the APA's Mohamed Bouchama. He recommends consumers pur- If you buy your warranty from an independent company, make sure the company is on solid footing and has a reputable history. Generally, the APA recommends people buy extended warranties from the car manufacturers.

with new cars, cover powertrain repairs for one to two years, and automobile bodies for three to five years. Extended warranties are available to take up where the standard warranties leave off, usually for an additional one or two years. chase extended warranties on vehicles that are not yet proven. "For example, if you buy a Toyota Corolla, you don't really need an extended warranty it's a waste of money." Standard warranties, which come 4 4 J- sun vehicles with You Can't Hug With Nuclear Arms or A Nuclear War Can Spoil Your Whole Day. The days of crash pads and granola are recalled in one bumper message on an appropriate-vintage VW van, handpainted in shaky rainbow colors: Spread A Little Love While You Can.

There's a whole series of punny occupational stickers, not all of them repeatable, like Delivery People Have More Pick-up. Some insecure drivers just have to make fun of other makes. There was Have You Driven Over A Ford Lately? on the back of a Dodge pickup and When I Grow Up I Want To Be A Cadillac on the hatch of a rusting Ford Fiesta. Maybe the ultimate message for the 1990s was seen recently on a rusting Toyota station wagon: Why Be the argument) has produced a simple solution: Freeze the Freeway. Have we seen the end of the rear-window On Board yellow diamonds? Please? They've gone from the cute-sey Baby On Board messages to Mother-in-Law in Trunk.

The female relative in question is probably the one who drives around with Being A Grandmother Means You Don't Have to Keep the Kid. Speaking of yellow, we predict a crying need for a bumper version of a postcard we saw recently, plain yellow with a black UPC symbol in the middle a generic, all-purpose bumper sticker for modern, generic automobiles that all seem to resemble each other. Glasnost and the end of communism have put back the hands on the nuclear clock but ban-the-bomb nostalgia lives on in Victoria on aging Bouchama says, "People should not just base their decision on what they read in the flyer." Loosely-written sales brochures can gloss over the fact warranties cover only defective parts, not normal wear and tear on the vehicle. At the same time, Bouchama adds, "We recommend people maintain their vehicles properly." If you don't change your oil for 15,000 kilometres, you're going to have problems not covered by any warranty; When shopping around for a warranty, Bouchama suggests you keep in mind the fact car dealerships make a hefty commission on warranty sales. "Dealerships do not make a lot of money on the cars themselves, but on the goodies or options that go along with them.

It's not unusual for dealerships to make a 25-per-cent commission on the sales of extended warranties." The APA publishes a thrice-yearly magazine called Lemon-Aid. To obtain a current issue, send $5 to the Automobile Protection Association, 7 Dundas Ste. 302, Toronto, Ont. M5B 1B5. i i -r An array of bumper stickers can be found just about anywhere in this case, we patrolled the parking lot at the Swartz Bay ferry terminal to see what was around one day.

REAL FISH DON'T EAT PELLETS 4 tetfi AIR CONDITIONING SERVICE By Norman Gidney Magazine Writer We won't say you can tell everything about a person by the way they drive, but their bumper stickers, now there's a litmus test. They run the gamut from shrill to sappy to silly, with some plain stupid ones in between. Wit is in short supply on car bumpers out there (puns don't count). What does it say about someone who declares to the world at large I Love My Dog and a little picture of an ugly weimaraner or pekinese? Forget About the Dog, Beware of Owner is funnier. Then there's Missing Your Cat? Check Under My Truck's Tires, seen on a compact with a suction-cup Garfield hanging upside down.

We note a trend to the digitally-oriented bumper stickers. Remember Free Canada Trade Mulroney from the 1988 election campaign? Now it's a fist-clenched comment on the GST, usually on a crummy older car: Tax This with an upright middle digit. And from another motorist who obviously doesn't enjoy the obligations of citizenship: Don't Steal the Government Doesn't Like Competition. Local bus drivers have a kinder, gentler message, with all five extended: Thanks for the Brake. More finger stickers: you can tell who's been to Hawaii from Hang Loose, with thumb and little finger extended.

It's the Islands' universal version of stay cool, don't sweat it, don't get excited. Even politicians campaign with it in Hawaii. The messages on these miniature moving billboards have definitely taken a turn for the shrill. Seen on a "nice, respectable, family-sized Fight Crime, Shoot First. How about I Have PMS and I Have A Gun? A woman driving a little Fiero proclaims Sticks and Stones Will Hurt My Bones But Whips and Chains Excite Me.

Then there's one for astig-matics: Lack of Sex Causes Poor Eyesight, in teeny letters. And there's no shortage of sappi-ness. A perennial on local cars: Easy Does It. Easy does what? Who is easy? Why is he doing it? Typically West Coast is Real Fish Don't Eat Pellets, making a statement on politics and cuisine and the driver's virility all in one. Will it be long before we see one that proclaims the driver the proprietor of a real woodstove that doesn't burn those crunchy-cereal-type pellets? On the hot topic of forestry practices, there's the clear-cut choice of Selective Logging or Deserts Forever, seen on the back of save-the-Walbran activist Syd Haskell's mobile garage.

Less definitive is I Brake for Trees. And from someone who's I it uetermanan 1 is an Animal's I jr3 Best Friend Our expert technicians will: Check for leaks Check and adjust Freon Gas is potentially dangerous to our ozone layer. Help protect the environment by ensuring your vehicle's A.C system is working properly. Tighten connections inten connections THE MORE PEOPLE I MEET, THE MORE HIKE MY CAT. Top-up refrigerant (1 pound) D-up refrigerant (1 pound) 1 Most LJ cars See us first, before you lose your cool! CinifS-ColmuSt TRUST CANq CANADAS 1 Raseri nn 1988 national mdeDendent survevs of oassenqer vehicle mm replacement brake parts and of installed brake service in Canada by Kormos.

Harris Assoc (Canada). Inc. Most people don't think of 1930s cars going about 130 kmh, let alone tearing down the raceway at Western Speedway when they're doing But that's what the members of the Victoria Old Time Racers Association are up to these days, and they sometimes get to travel farther afield in their racing careers. Our cover photo shows them getting ready to load cars into a truck for a trip to races in Toronto. The association sets out to provide safe, entertaining races although accidents do happen sometimes and to salvage some older cars that have been found anywhere from tucked inside a garage to under a pile of garbage.

Our story, and more photos, appear on Page 22. 'I YOU LQVE AtitAIALS- Tvm uont mr mm Editorial: Vicki-Lynn Dutton, Editor; Norman Gidney, Jeff Bell, Sandra McCulloch Advertising Sales: Lynda Hipperson Phone 380-5290 or your Times-Colonist advertising representative. The Times-Colonist, 2621 Douglas St. Victoria, B.C. V8T 4M2 phone (604) 380-521 1 Fax (604) 380-5255 Member CNDPA, Newspaper Marketing Bureau, NAD bank, ABC Thomson Newspapers Corporation Advertising Services 65 Queen St.

W. 1117 St. Catherine St. W. Toronto, Ont.

M5H 2M8 Suite 609 (416) 864-1710 Montreal, Que. H3B 1H9 (514)843-7245 R550CIRTE STORE certainly no treehugger: Every Day Is Earth Day For A Forester. The controversy on the Saamch i i ilia Peninsula about improving the Pat GORDON HEAD 3993 Cedar Hill Road 721-1 125 Service: 721-1321 SERVICE HOURS: Sat. 8 a.m.-6 p.m. Sun.

10 a.m.-5 p.m. 8-6 Thurs. 4 Fri. 8 a.m.-9 p.rr, COLWOOD 1704 Old Island Hwy. 474-2291 SERVICE HOURS: and Sat.

7:30 Thurs. and Sun. 9-6 ESQUIMALT 870 Esquimalt Road 381-3111 Service: 381-5055 SERVICE HOURS: 8:30 a.m.-5 p.m. SUN. CLOSED ROYAL OAK 801 Royal Oak Drive 727-6561 SERVICE HOURS: Sun.

10 a.m.-S p.m. 8:30 a.m.-5:30 p.m. Bay Highway (or creating a superhighway, if you're on the other side of VICTORIA 2959 Douglas St. 382-3152 SERVICE HOURS: Sat. 8 a.m.-6 p.m.

Sun. 10 a.m.-S p.m. 8-6 Fri. 8 a.m.-9 p.m. Ray Smith photos.