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Dinsrs serve Isngucgo viih a Uvist CyRobKyff meHartlbrdCouwit "Wreck a pair, burn the Britiih, draw a midnight with, and squeeze one." When the waitress in a favorite diner shouts these short orders to the cook, youll have your breakfast in short order two scrambled eggs, English muffins, black coffee with sugar, and orange juice. You wont hear jive like that in today's "Hi-my-name-is-Steve and-I'll-be-your-server" joints, but hash slingers' lingo still sings and sizzles in ' down-home eateries across the land. With the help of slanguist Stuart Berg Flexner and my friends at the Quaker Diner in West Hartford, Connecticut, where I was once a "reglah," here's a "short stack" of pancake poetry: Not surprisingly, a lot of diner jargon has its genesis in the Garden of Eatin. "Adam and Eve on a raft," for egg-sample, is two poached ess on toast; "Eve with the lid on" is apple pie (Eve's forbidden fruiO; "Adam's Ale" is water, a "first ' lady" is spareribs (borrowed -from Adam); and "Noah's boy" is a slice of ham (Noah's second son). Diner talk tells it like it is, and often as it was. Beef stew is "bossy in a bowl," a hot dog is a "ground hog," ham on rye is "pig on whiskey," and meat cooked rare is "on the hoof." Ordering! "Burn one!" (cook a hamburger). "Burn a pup!" (grill a hot dog). "Burn the van!" (mix a vanilla malt). "Customer wants to take a chance!" (serve up the hash). You don't want ice? "Hold the hail!" No butter? "High and dry!" No lettuce? "Keep off the grass!" Pick a number "5" (glass of milk); "41" (lemonade); "81-(hot chocolate, aka "ha cha"); "55" (root beer); "81" (a glass of water, aka "on the city"); "88"(we're out of it, or that patron is out of it, Le. broke or drunk); "87" (check out the good-looker who just entered); "95" (that customer is leaving without paying), '.' - . So the next time you order a tuna salad sandwich on toast at your favorite diner, see if the waitress or waiter broadcasts this: "radio!" (Anything toasted is "down," so a "tuna down," as in "tune it down," is a "radio.") M PRIAM A. GTGCK(3.tc.p.i.) Personal Fitness Consultant Fitness Programming For All .Ages and Abilities Specializing in Personalized Instruction For Weight Loss Strength Training Osteoporosis Prevention Management For Appointment Telephone (604) 333-1 333 SPRING SEr.3Tii;::-u? V2FBICE flOP Reg. 39.00 NOW IU SEW and SERGE TtWI I OMirm SROPPtM IUU PtITUrtlWEtl 47MOT KJPTO$2000 The 1994 BC Budget is good news for first-time home buyers. K -'HE provincial government has II cut the property purchase tax U for first-time home Layers on homes valued at up to $250,000 in the Lower Mainland and Victoria regionsand $200,000 ih all other regions of the province. That puts up to $3,000 in the pockets of first-time home buyers. HERE'S HOW YOU APPLY: All you have to do is fill out the necessary declaration when you complete your property purchase. If you qualify, you simply don't pay the property purchase tax. It's easy. And there's no waiting. n HERE'S WHO QUALIFIES: You are eligible for this tax cut if: you have not previously owned a home, you are a Canadian citizen, or lawful permanent resident who has lived in BC for at least one year, you are buying or building your first home, you are financing at least 70 of the purchase price, you reside in the home for at least one year, and your purchase was .made on or after March 23, 1994. For more information on how you benefit from the tax cut for first-time home buyers call Enquiry BC: In Greater Vancouver: 660-2421 In Greater Victoria: 387-6121 All other areas: 1-800-663-7867 GOVERNMENT OF BRITISH COLUMBIA k3) "4 1 V,; V ) X. 9 J Dab BrasrTTmes-Cdonist BEER fans, left to right, Greg Evans, Harvey Forester, Paul Hadfield and Jake Thomas expect unusual brew Hop to this UVic course Brewing course delves into origins of beer and produces kind of bread-based suds that quelched the thirst of Babylonians By Katharine Dedyna Times-Colonist Living staff THERE'S YOUR old fashioned brew and then again, there's truly ancient beer. As old as civilization itself, beer first appeared on the tables of thirsty Babylonians and Egyptians as early as 4,000 B.C. A modern-day version of their bread-based beer will come to a head April 9 at Spinnakers as part of an historical overview of brewing called Ale and Hearty, offered through continuing studies at UVic. "We're going to go right back to the origins of beer at the time of the agricultural revolution," promises Greg Evans, an Oak Bay beer buff whose MA thesis tackled the history on brewing on Vancouver Island. It's the oldest way possible to brew, using bread as a base, instead of hops. The ancient Babylonians, says Evans, described 16 varieties of wheat used in brewing after mastering the mysteries of malting and fermentation. Barley was deliberately malted into loaves of bread and the mash made from the bread. "This has been done before in the States and in Germany, but we don't think it's happened before in Canada." In anticipation of a pungent blast from the past, George Plett of Bond Bond's bakery has worked up a special flat bread with no yeast to be used in the process. It will be made of organic whole wheat flour organic dates and organic figs. "We're going to use about 80 kilos (of bread) and hope for the best," says brew master Jake Thomas. He predicts "a fairly low alcohol beer with a little residual sweetness.' And what will this beer taste like? "Good question," Evans allows. Way back when it was quite thick and cloudy, and served warmish. It'll be the most unusual beer brewed at Spinnakers since some of the hops sent up with the Space Shuttle Discovery were used to make a brew for astronauts who dropped in for a secret pub night, says Spinnakers owner Paul Hadfield. For $95 a head, the day's activities will also include a posh pub lunch circa 1894 and several litres of Porter, Pale Ale and Pilsener that participants will brew themselves. The morning will be spent at UVic for the historical overview, including the social, religious, medicinal and economic implications of beer through the Dark and Middle Ages right through to modern times in Victoria. "The Greeks and Romans both knew beer, but it was the northern and Western Europeans that embraced it," says Evans. ' Beer played a significant role in everyday life in the Dark Ages and Middle Ages, consumed by men women and children because "it was safer to drink that water." Up until the 13 or 14th century, most brewing was done by women in home. "It's arguable that brewing was the first industry to leave the home and become a commercial industry," says Evans. In these parts, many people don't know it but Victoria has the oldest brewing industry west of the Great Lakes, supported gladly by miners flocking to the gold mines. It was established in 1858 by William Steinberger of Cologne on the east side of Swan Lake. In every country, beer takes on its own cultural significance and Canada is no exception. "Beer is as Canadian as back bacon and hockey," says Evans. The growth of small breweries and brew-pubs is linked to "a Renaissance in beer in North America," that is blowing the dust off of recipes long fallen into disuse. The course runs from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. To register call 721-8481. Space is limited to 20 people. Critic gives tough grades for pubs' beer VICTORIA'S BREW pubs and micro-breweries have staked a sizable claim in the hearts of local beer lovers. But how do they stack up to an outsider? Using terminology no wine connoisseur could surpass, beer critic Stephen Beaumont rates and reviews the foamy output of Swanns, Spinnakers, The Prairie Inn and Vancouver Island Brewing in The Great Canadian Beer Guide (Macmillan Canada, 1994, $19.95). More than 300 Canadian ales, lagers, bocks, stouts and others are appraised on a rating scheme from one star "standard" to four-star "world beater." Beaumont is a picky guy: he couldnt find one four-star beer in Canada. And the closest 3V4 star entry in a brew pub is the Best Bitter Special at the Granite Brewery in Toronto. That said, Spinnakers Brew Pub, Canada's first in-house brew pub captured three stars for its Extra Special Bitter, and is described thusly by Beaumont "Copper-colored with chocolate toffee in the nose alongside barnyard notes. The bittersweet, ' soft malt start with very light cherry notes heads into a very full and rich body of woody, bitter hops and the occasional caramel note creeping in. The finish is of strong and bitter hop." Three stars means"thoroughly enjoyable, what the brewer's art is all about," says Beaumont Jet black Old Kaucklehead Stout received 2Vi stars for its "rich mocha body" while the lowest scoring was Jameson's Scottish Ale and VA stars. At Swanns Hotel and Buckerfield's Brewery, "no ordinary brew pub," several: beers warranted two stars qualifying them as "wellbred and worthy." Highest scoring is Buckerfield's Bitter at 2Vi stars, with its strong brew house aroma of wort and very nutty hop. "The start, middle and end are all dominated by nutty notes of Brazil nut and hazelnut with a little light chocolate up front coffee notes in the middle and an earthy, bitter finish." Lowest scoring was Old Town Bavarian Lager, with one star. The Prairie Inn Neighborhood Pub and Cottage Brewery is steeped in history, having been started in 1859 by Harry Simpson. In the 1980s, it became only the second craft-brewing operation in Canada. Beaumont rates only two of its beers, and both the Black Bitters Lager and English Gold Lager warrant only half a star. Vancouver Island Brewing on Kirkpatrick Crescent is unjustifiably obscure tucked away near the ferry docks -brewing. Beaumont rates its Hermann's Dark Lager as 2Vi stars. It's described as "deep black cherry colored with a strong mocha aroma holding gentle raisin notes. A lightly chocolatey start with hints of sugar precedes an earthy, bitter body that mixes sweet licorice with coffee and chocolate flavors and hints of fruit (plum, grape). The finish is bittersweet with black licorice notes." Piper's Pale Ale nets two stars and Vancouver Island Premium Lager 1 stars. CFM The Leader in Gas Fireplace Technology INSTA-FLAME IzT . Limited Lifetime Warranty irtetYxxtfirt;!2Sa So llttlt apaca. So tuy to Install. So natural to uta. MM torenovMtom orntw horn construction StandafdfMturaa: OV32 nqulra no cNmnM Htm Un OWgn. onty 11 ." dwj) Mows iMttMsHoii shiiofll wywrtwil rtalanHaii ParforrnancK bur Inata-Flama wont go out, avon whan ttw powor (HESOFiraplacalnstra Si mb futaTtti Si Ntf la Msl Sa ashval to us. IV WiasHi W iivnfw mm aw www i23 Since 1CC3 RrrrcfP nsRr7G f- S SHOWROOM -20S1 MALAVIEW CC.V Jll 1 OPEN 6 DAYS SIDNEY AW K-w- A WEEK!

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