The Record du lieu suivant : Hackensack, New Jersey • F2

LIVING SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 26, 2006 F-2 THE RECORD Quarterlife crisis Happiness: Parade per. He soon found himself applying to Kinko's, Starbucks, "wherever was hiring." Within 10 weeks, he moved back with his parents in Beaver, Pa. "Nothing was going very well," he said. These days, Keppler is writing for a Web site, e-mailing his resume to anyone who'll look at it and posting on message boards at quarterlifecrisis.com, a Web forum co-operated by Abby Miller. Keppler also helps take care of his mother, who suffers from multiple sclerosis.

"I am stuck in the same house, in the same little room for most of the day," he said. "It is very tedious and very boring, and it becomes very depressing." Won't seek help A quarterlife crisis can be lethal. The rates of suicide resulting from sustained depression are highest for 20- to 34-year-olds, according to a report for Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration's Center for Mental Health Services. Suicide is the third-leading cause of death for 15-to 24-year-olds. From Page F-l "At graduation they tell you to go out and conquer the world, and then you have a hard time getting a job just answering the phone," said Miller, who also co-wrote "Quarterlife Crisis: The Unique Challenges of Life in Your Twenties" (Tardier, 2001).

(Both of Miller's books are listed under her maiden name, Wilner.) "You have to start over socially; your friends move all over; you have college debt," she said. "All these things build up and you feel lonely, anxious and you sort of panic." To some people, that panic may seem a simple overreaction to growing up by a coddled generation. But today's twentysomethings have reason to be more pessimistic than previous generations. Lower earnings According to a report by the MacArthur Foundation's Network on Transitions to Adulthood a group composed of sociologists from universities including Rutgers 18- to 24-year-olds in the 1990s had lower earnings than those who entered adulthood in the 1970s and 1980s. The 2004 report also found that the national poverty rate is highest for adults 18-24.

"Leaving school, setting up a home for yourself, partnering, having a steady job, marriage you were supposed to be able to achieve all of these things by "We see a boomerangs: who go college, on their they don't make it, to come Patrick Carr Professor, ASSOCIATED PRESS spirit at a recent Mardi Gras parade. drink," Maher says. "I'm sure in New Orleans they haven't stopped drinking them." The good times also will be rolling at other New Orleans-themed venues Tuesday but with a difference, Maurice Flynn concedes. "I would definitely say it's not the same," says Flynn, owner of Fat Tuesday's, a New Orleans-themed restaurant in Rahway. The restaurant will be having its traditional Mardi Gras party Tuesday, including a live band, but in some ways, he says, the spirit isn't what it used to be.

"I haven't promoted it as much," says Flynn, who has been doing these annual events since 2003. "We have some signs up, but I don't think people necessarily want to celebrate it so much this year." Such soul searching mirrors the dialogue that has been going on in New Orleans since October. The question on the floor: whether Mardi Gras was either possible or desirable in 2006. Heated feelings, Leathern says, could be found on both sides. "I certainly understand people who have not been able to come back here, who have lost so much, who feel that is a slap in the face to them," Leathern says.

"At the same time, other people who have lost everything see this as a way of regaining their city and regaining their culture." Mardi Gras has been the delight of New Orleans residents, and a special part of their culture, since the 18th century. Akin to the carnivals that go on each year in Catholic cities like Venice and Rio de Janeiro, Mardi Gras literally "Fat Tuesday" is the traditional "last fling" of feasting, masking and merrymaking before Lent. The Mardi Gras parades, a part of the city since 1827, have not lot of kids out to then go out own, and quite so they need back home." Rutgers University From Page F-l How do you celebrate when the natural impulse would be to mourn? Hey you've come to the right city. "I think it's sort of a trademark quality of New Orleans that people can usually find humor in the worst situations," Leathern says. This is, after all, the city that invented the jazz funeral the raucous "second line" parade back from the cemetery, with handkerchiefs waving and umbrellas bobbing.

It's a city that celebrates one of the losing-est teams in NFL history, the Saints. It's a city where, in the best of years, the murder and poverty rates are far above average. It's a city that has always lived by the skin of its teeth. The propensity for celebrating the moment whatever doom might lurk in the immediate past or future is in its DNA. A lesson for all of us, perhaps.

Whether we live on high or low ground. "To be all gloom and doom about what happened is to miss what New Orleans is all about," says Jerry Maher, owner of Oddfellow's Rest, a duo of New Or-leans-themed restaurants in Hoboken and Jersey City. Katrina or no Katrina, Maher is celebrating Mardi Gras at his two venues. This Fat Tuesday, as for the last 12, there will be New Orleans-style bands, purple, green and gold decorations, and a faux float from which colorfully costumed characters will toss Mardi Gras beads. They're even serving hurricanes the rum-and-fruit-juice concoction that always was synonymous with Mardi Gras but which could be considered a tad, well, inappropriate this year.

"It's a traditional New Orleans WEDDINGS Stephanie Kristine Puch John Joseph Sullivan III Stephanie Kristine Puch, daughter of Mrs. Adele Puch and the late William B. Puch of Hawthorne, NJ was married to John Joseph Sullivan III, son of Mr. and Mrs. John and Beverly Sullivan of Mahwah, NJ.

Monsignor George Hundt officiated the ceremony at St. Anthony's Church, Hawthorne, NJ, on October 22nd, 2005. A reception was held at Victor's Chateau in Little Falls, NJ. The bride was given away by her uncle, John Keyzer, of Saratoga Springs, A trombone reflects New Orleans' been entirely uninterrupted since they were suspended for a time during the Civil War and again during World Wars I and II. But short of a government order, Big Easy residents are loath to part with them.

After the 1878 Yellow Fever epidemic, in which more than 4,000 people died, New Orleans residents had the same internal debate about whether to celebrate Mardi Gras that year. Many of the carnival "krewes" the clubs that create the floats and costumes bowed out. That is, until the Krewe of Rex issued a proclamation. "They decided they were going to parade anyway, because they had bought all their costumes," Leathern says. Celebrating Mardi Gras, Rex proclaimed, would "tend to dispel the gloom caused by the afflictions of the late epidemic." They added, "Our friends everywhere ENGAGEMENTS wedding is planned.

CELEBRATIONS inose numbers are often attributed to an unwillingness to seek help because of the stigma of being young and depressed. The study found fewer than half (46.3 percent) of depressed 18- to 25-year-olds get help, as opposed to 70.4 percent of depressed adults aged 35 to 49. "The most difficult patients to engage are between 18 and 25," said Dr. Thomas Demaria, the assistant vice president in charge of behavioral health at South Nassau Communities Hospital in Ocean-side, NY. "They think, "This is the best time of my life.

I am not supposed to be feeling this Demaria said. "To have weakness at the time when they are in the physical prime of their life doesn't seem natural to them." Many twentysomethings are embarrassed to discuss their quarterlife crisis. Several New Jerseyans contacted for this article declined to be interviewed for fear that they would be recognized and ridiculed. Even young adults who live hundreds of miles away are reticent when it comes to their depression. For example, Dee who regularly posts to quarterlifecri sis.com's message boards under a pseudonym spoke about her troubles on the condition that her last name not be used.

After graduating from Buffalo State College as a theater major, she thought she would at least get bit parts in commercials. Eventually, she hoped to live in New York or Los Angeles and work in film. But the cost of moving was too high, and she returned home to her family in Buffalo. She began feeling trapped. She didn't get along with her mother.

Her temp job was "tedious and low-paying." Eventually, she said, "I didn't have the motivation to do much of anything. I just wanted to go home and sleep." After a couple years, she moved into her sister's home in Virginia, hoping to regroup. But within months, her mother also moved in after financial and health woes left her unable to pay the bills. And Dee's job, entering data for a D.C. company, is similar to the clerical jobs she had in Buffalo.

"I feel that I just go through the same stuff over and over and there's no progress," she said. "It gets so boring and depressing." E-mail: holahannorthjersey.com SHOW EXE0 your early 20s," said Patrick Carr, an assistant sociology professor at Rutgers University and associate member of the Network on Transitions to Adulthood. Today, Carr said, "The transition is more elongated and that is absolutely stressful." Carr said many twentysomethings find themselves overwhelmed by college debt or the high cost of home ownership and rents in urban areas. "We see a lot of boomerangs: kids who go out to college, then go out on their own, and they don't quite make it, so they need to come back home," Carr said. "It is as if you have had your independence and then you are re-treading your teenage steps." He added, "I think it would be really depressing." Jon Horowitz, 28, of Metuchen knows just how depressing.

After graduating from Rutgers University in 2000 with a journalism degree, Horowitz quickly landed a job as a Web editor at the Wall Street Journal. "I was in college during the dotcom boom, and I was loving life when I got out of school," Horowitz said. Then the economy soured. Within two years, Horowitz's department was downsized and he lost his job. He sent out his resume "like crazy" but didn't get the bites he wanted.

He was unemployed for a year. "It was very frustrating, and it became more frustrating as the unemployment checks came in and I couldn't pay the bills," Horowitz said. "I try not to remember that time." Now, Horowitz has a full-time job at Rutgers' alumni magazine and again has a positive outlook. He also started a Web site hatch magazine.com to help others deal with quarterlife crises and the pitfalls: unemployment, dissolved relationships, boring entry-level jobs, debt and depression. Keppler, meanwhile, is still struggling.

After graduating from the University of Pittsburgh in April 2005, he moved to Chicago in hopes of landing a job at a big-city newspa- would prefer to see us give evidence of life and energy than to have us sitting around in sackcloth and ashes." More than a century later, the friends of New Orleans feel the same way. At Mexicali Blues in Teaneck, they'll be celebrating Tuesday with a DVD presentation of Michael Murphy's documentary "Make It Funky," with the filmmaker in attendance (proceeds go to Katrina charities), a New Orleans-style piano jam and Louisiana bluesman Big Luther Kent to close out the evening. "We're going further with Mardi Gras than we've ever gone this year," says Eli Wells, manager of Mexicali Blues. "We actually built our own float this year, and we're going to wheel it around the room and throw beads. The spirit has to stay alive." E-mail: beckermannorthjersey.com ENGAGEMENTS Kelly O'Boyle Jonathan Battaglia Kevin and Carole O'Boyle of Bergenfield are proud to announce the engagement of their daughter, Kelly to Jonathan Battaglia, son of Ann and John Battaglia of Paramus.

Kelly is a graduate of Bergenfield High School and Ramapo College. She is currently employed in New Milford as a kindergarten teacher. Jonathan graduated from Paramus High School and Ramapo College. Hecurrently works in hranklm Product Manager. Lakes as a A July 2007 Dana Campanella Christopher Taylor Jarvis Dr.

Anthony and Nancy Campanella, Jr. of Paramus, NJ are pleased to announce the engagement of their daughter, Dana Campanella to Christopher Taylor Jarvis, son of Jane and Kenneth Jarvis, Jr. of Holly Springs, N.C. Dana is a 1999 graduate of Immaculate Heart Academy. She received a BS in Counseling and Human Services from the University of Scranton, Michelle Lauren Cassidy William John Bretzger Timothy and Barbara Cassidy of River Vale, NJ are pleased to announce the engagement of their daughter, Michelle Lauren to William John Bretzger son of William and Betsy Bretzger of Rockaway, NJ.

The bride-to-be, Michelle, graduated from Pascack Valley High School and East Stroudsburg University, with a degree of Bachelor of Science in Elementary Education. She is currently employed as a teacher at Lily Pond Country Day School in River Vale. The NY. The Matrons of Honor were Christina Stendardi and Christine Carr-Nemitoff, friends of the bride. Bridesmaids were Michelle Radice, Christine Silvasie, Patricia Balzarek, and Gina Puluse, friends of the bride.

The Best Man was Kevin Sullivan, brother of the groom. The Groomsmen were Christopher Fesen, Matthew Del Re, Douglas Babicz, Jeffrey Cicirelli, and Michael Schiappacasse, friends of the groom. Flower girl and ring bearer were Caitlin and Brandon Stendardi, friends of the bride. The bride is a graduate of Hawthorne High School in Hawthorne, NJ. She received a BS in Accounting and an MBA in Accounting from Ramapo College.

She is a Financial Reporting Manager at Ernst Young in Lyndhurst, NJ. The groom is a graduate of Don Bosco Prep in Ramsey. He has a BBA inFinance from Loyola College and is pursuing his MBA in Finance at Fordham University. He is a Financial Analyst at Prudential Financial in Newark, NJ. After a two week honeymoon in Italy, the couple resides in Hackensack, NJ.

WEDDINGS BIRTHS Christian Stanley Wekarski Paul and Dana Wekarski of Waldwick, NJ are proud to announce the birth of their second son, Christian Stanley Wekarski born on April 4th, 2005 at 10:30 AM weighing 7 lbs. 5 oz. He joins big brother Paul Jr. Grandparents Stan and Isabel Wekarski and the late Frank and Joyce Salvadeo. THE LONGEST RUNNING BRIDAL SHOW IN NEW JERSEY Elegant Bridal Productions PA in 2003.

Taylor is a 1993 graduate of Fuquay-Varina High School. He received a BA in Anthropology from East Carolina University in 1998. Dana and Taylor are currently pursuing their Master's Degree in Social Work at Columbia University. A November, 2006 Wedding is planned. PRESENTS 2006MDAL BIRTHS Gavin Edwin Aquino Elizabeth Kevin Aquino are pleased to announce the birth of their son.

Gavin Edwin Aquino was born at The Valley Hospital on September 13th, 2005, weighing 8lbs 15oz. Proud Grandparents are Ed and Eileen Scholl of Wyckoff, Kathleen Aquino of Hackensack and Noel Aquino of Puerto Rico. iUVKflflUB Join us for the most exciting Bridal Event to hit the Northeast -Don't miss the event the Bridal industry has been raving about! Admission is FREE with ad Complimentary VIP Tickets Win a Honeymoon to the Maury Povich Show New Jersey's leading bridal services all under one roof FREE bridal magazines Broadway style fashion show Complimentary refreshments Special show discounts Door prizes galore Live entertainment Sheraton Crossroads Hotel Route 17 North Mahwah, NJ Tuesday, February 28 At 7 PM For Reservations Call 973-428-5164 For a complete list of shows and info visit www.elegantbridal.com groom-to-be, William, a graduate of Morris Hills High School, also attended East Stroudsburg University and is employed with City Fire Equipment Company in East Hanover, NJ, a family owned business, as a Fire Protection Consultant. An August 2006 wedding is planned..