The Brooklyn Daily Eagle from Brooklyn, New York • Page 4

3'' mim lll i i i i iiiw iti miii nr. 1,1,1 111 in 1 jinn nlT city and in one or more of the "Central Baptist THE PROPOSED BRIDGE TERMINUS. directions. The Teuton took courage and pursu NOT LECTURED BY THE JUDGE. THE PARAMOUNT PLEASURE CLUB.

tfocitations and Dancing at Its Reception in North Elliott Place. The Paramount Pleasure Club gave its initial reception at the residence ot Mrs. M. Rivers, Burger commanding, has elected the following civil officers for the coming year: President, according to the code, First Lieutenant Maxwell C. Burger; secretary, Morris Frauklin; treasurer, Sergeant Hart; Finance Committee, Quartermaster's Sergeant Frederick Vau Dottum, Privates Abrahams; Room Commlttee.Pri vates George Eassl, George W.

Gee; Recruiting Committee, Privates Adolph Hirstlus, Charles Lutz, George Grain; sergeant at arms, Corporal Edward Barb. Thomas Miller wa3 sworn In Friday night as a momborof Company li. Company of the Thirty second (Basser Rifles) Captain William F. Grotz commanding, will give Its annual sacred concert and ball at Baumgartnor's Military Hall, corner of Leonard and Schole3 streets, on Sunday ovoning, Januarys. Tho committee la charge are A.

G. Humana Goorge Waring, George llealy, Ralph Flckett, Christian Teupor. TflE FIRST BAPTIST CHURCH. Ecclesiastical Confusioa Worse Con founded Tuc Storr of a Gerraau It was about 9 o'clock one Sunday morn ing, and on the Brooklyn side of Fulton Ferry. A certain German was there by signs and words trying to explain to tho group of car conductors gathered that ho wanted to go to the First Baptist Church.

PU tako him," oxclaimod a knight of the nickel rocordlng clocks; "I live near that church." Tho Gorman was carried along for near an hour. Ho was boginning to wouder at the distance, having beon told before leaviug his Now York homo that the church ho sought was but a little way from the forry, whou tho conductor shouted: Noble stroot. Hero you get off; your First Church is ono block up, left aids." Traveler and car parted compauy. Hon Gorman was soon in tho presence of Pastor Gumbart, at the First Baptist Church "Green point." Happily this pastor speaks German as elegantly and fluently as ho does tho English, and soon informed his visitor that tho particular church ho was seeking was some miles away, and near the place of his morning's start. The puzzled pilgrim, with native perieverance, started to retrace his way.

Unfortunately for him, whon near the foot or Broadway, ho interviewed his conductor. First Baptist Church? Oh, yes. Change cars. There goes the ono you want" After a race the German mounted a Nostrand avenue car, and ore long stood beforo the edlfico which is called for short, probably "Dr. Eddy's First Baptist Church, Lee avenue, Williamsburgh, Brooklyn, E.

Then followed more Jabbering. Afcor a desper ato, loud roicod, Sabbath breaking effort tho English speaking ushors of Dr. Eddy's First, succeeded in explaining to tho German that the First Baptist Church ha was soeking is in tho Western District, and is the First Baptist Church, which has on Piorropont street as a rider to its name. Now this church is on a corner, hence on two streets, aud mors on Clinton street than on Piorropont street. To tho ordinary mind it might seem more specific to call It tho First Baptist Church, front on Fiorro poat stroot, side on Clinton stroot." The church has made an offon to avoid this stricture by not putting its front door in front but crosswise of the corner, so looking two ways at onco without becom ing cross oyed.

As for tho term First on Plorrepont street there never was and thoro never will be any other Baptist church on that street. To outsiders tho numeral in that connection seams inane; but good and true insiders know that this specific in dofiniteness means that First is so precious to some Baptists that they pre empt at random, regardless of the fact that such misnomorlng is confounding to the outsido world. The Gormau pilgrim arrived on Fulton street, a block from tho tomple ho was soeking, perspiring with foar, for noon bells wore ring ing. First Baptist Church was his exclamatory question to the first ono ho mot; this time a nice little boy. "No, that up thoro Is tho Pierrepont street Baptist," This boy did not intend to mlBlead, for he was a good boy, and had a Sunday school re ward card; but with a reprehensible precocity he had presumed to Infer uud reason concerning things, such as Baptist Church names.

These are not given according to reason, but by some sort of faith that is knowu through evidences which do not appoar much or often. The Gormau did not faint, but hi3 look of mysti fied agony wrung the heart. The latter had heard there was a "First Baptist Church In tho Twenty sixth Ward, and sooa had tho poor Dutch man consigned to the care of an East New York car conductor. It was past 12 o'clock; tho traveler was hungry; ho had spent almost all his spare change in riding about; had twice passed the chureh he was seeking; missed the brothor with whom he expected to worship and dine, only to find himself in front of tho First Baptist Church, Iloudrlx street, in East New York. Hero wa3 confusion twice confounded.

Herr German gave way to loud wailings after this sort: "One says this is First Baptist Church; one says no; one says this Is East New York; one says New York was the old name. Is this New Old York 13 this Brooklyn or am I asleep and all tho people crazy 1 A pitiful lagor beor vender, who knew the languago of FntherlaDd, took the misguided and troubled man la baud and gave him a now sot of ant to his last counsel was soon gliding away to find the "First Baptist Church," this time down Atlantic avonuo. Ho was on foot, not daring to spoud his last dime lost he meet some future mis hap. Ho anon showed a paper lager beer man had written tor him to the pedestrians ho passed oach In turn motioned him onward. After a weary tramp of several miles he stood before the First Bapti3t Church (Swodish), on Atlantic avenue, neor Flatbuah avenue station.

Wroug again. This time faint with hungor and uttorly disappointed ho gave way to tears and anathemas. An officer approached and Horr Now Yorkor cried to him: "First Baptist Church, First Baptist Church; What have you dono with the First Baptist Church 1" An urchin translated it thus: Perllcemau, he says yoos got away with the Gospol shop." Oh, ho, I see; ho Is drunk. Como along, I'll show you tho First Baptist Church." The urchin again exclaims: "Go with him, Dutchy; he will take you to your church." The Gorman understood and believed, not droam ing that police offlcora evor were obtuse, sarcastic or Jocular. The poor victim paid tho first visit of his llfo to a police court, aud when ho faced the sergeant tho patrolman senteutioHsly exclaimed: "Drunk and disorderly." What have you to say?" questioned the man at the desk.

A volloy of German was the reply. Tho sergeant could only understand "Is this the First Baptist Church Whon doo3 thn preaching begin?" The station houso blotter received this record: "Hans Doe; charge, drunkenness. Says he is a deacon In a Now York Gorman Baptist church talks wildly; committed for examination as to his sanity." The day following tho victim secured his roleaso and returned to the Metropolis, convinced that the First Baptist Church is a myth, or that all Brooklynltos are crazy on the Lord's day. But it might have been worso with that man. sitico ho was not carried around to all the churches which claim the name "First Baptist." There are six such within the corporate limits of tho City of Churches.

This Is a first rate Baptist puzzle, and results iu some amusing news Items. A papor announces "Swodl3h preaching every Sun day iu tho First Baptist Church, Brooklyn." A Boston reader exclaims: "Shades of Jennie Lind; bas tho scholarly Dr. Eddy come to this "Oh, no," the telegraph flafhos back answer to the Bos ton inquiry; "the Swedish gutturals are fitted to the Gospel by another First preacher. Again, Dr. Walsh ascopta a call to the pastorate of the First Baptist Church." "Well, now, can that book writing, houso building Wolchmon proach so as to make oven Montrose avonue Baptist Germans understand?" queries a letter from Porkopolls.

"Oh, no," goes back explanation; "Mr. Grlmmol still edifies that German Churoh. Dr. Walsh is at another First Baptist Church. A daily papor rocorded the fact of a "spilt" in tho "First Baptist Church," onlivened by the pastor's calling his superintendent a liar.

Baltimore Baptists who had thought of calling to their pastorate Dr. Thomas are nonplussed aud horrified. They cannot understand how the Chostorfioldlan and self possessed Dr. Thomas could bo guilty of such billingsgate. Explanations show that tho "split" had not occurred in Dr.

Thomas' Church; but that i' and the accompanying ropartao wore Incidents In tho flock of Mr. Whltehurt. There seems to be much In a name, since oach of the six "First Baptist churches" must be ready to bear at any time the sins of the other Ave. As say3 tho broezy marine in "Harbor Lights" to Bridget of whom he is trying to collect a very lengthy gin bill, "There Is too much ditto hero. As to tho Baptists their trouble threatons to increase, for Cypress Hills, Woodhaveu, Jamaica and Flatbush will soon bo wltbln tho corporate limits; each placo with a "First Baptist Church." Then we shall have nine pf a kind.

Nine "First Baptist churches!" Letallthe grammars and arithmetics protest and the city Directory makers go mad I Meanwhile lot all good Christians pray for a great revival of senso over sentiment, and truth over pride; for be It known that some of tho members of our "First Baptist churches" are roady to fight for the maintenance of "First" on the front doors of their temples though they seldom enter them, and do little to support anything except a part of a title that moans nothing unless it meant a lie. There have been meetings In soma of "the First Baptist ohurchos," of this churches" (which are central to nothing in earth or heaven) to considor the question of the adoption of rational titles. These gatherings uniformly de cided, after much show of emotion over old associations, continue the llttlo fictions on their front door sign boards, and then adjourned with prayer 1 An artist doctored a crack in the nose ol a statue of Christ with paint The offect was very odd; but he comforted himself by looking only at the other side of the statuo and foliciatlng himself on his own ingenuity. Some of theso "First Baptist Church' pooplo do llkowise. They shut thoir eyes to truth, look only at tho past; and doctor their names by adding "Greonpoint," "Williamsburgh," "EastNow York;" names antediluvian aud geographically doad.

Some add "Gorman" "Swiss;" "Colored" or the name of a streot This remedy Is a failure. The First, Eastoru District, has scarcely a vestige of the original first of Williamsburgh that was. It occupies anew field, a new house, and has a new pastor. All Is changed, but the name. There Is the "First Baptist Mission," which emphatically is not the; First Baptist Mission.

Then there is tho "First Baptist Church on Pierrepont street." Asa fact of history tho Piorropont street Baptist Church swallowed tho old First Church of Nassau street. Tho house of tho lattor was burned and the Pierrepont street pooplo havo a now houso. All there was of tho old original "First" was thoroughly digested and asslmilatod by tho "Pierrepont streot" church and congregation, except that grizzly word "First." That Is like a bone sticking out of the Jaws of tho body which was able to swallow all olse of Dr. Gnl laghor's old flock. It is said that a man named Wise had a family; the first four were boys.

Ho named thorn "Other Wise," "Like Wise," "All Wiso" and "No Wise." Ho had exhausted his vocabulary and was greatly relieved when tho succeed ing children born to him proved to bo girls. Theso ho numbered One, Two and Three up to six, determining to so designate them until marriage gave them now names. Most people said that man was a Wiso fool and yet he did not perpetrate the folly of naming all six of his daughters "First." Lotus hope we may have no more First Baptist Churches," and if wo are to live on with the six wo havo, all striving to be McGregors at the head of the tablo, In forgotfulnoss of the Saviour's man dates about taking high seats, would it not be well to translato the various "Firsts" into Greek, Latin, German, as "Protos," "Primus," "Erste." Or if this bo not satisfactory let them bo called "First," "Firstly," "Firstor," "Firstest," "Firstling" "and "First Rate." There Is a first for each of the six that are striving to be foremost. And yot the suggestion may bo useless since it is evident that oach of tho six would be determined to be tho "Firstest." Perhaps they would all be happy If they could only go back and ante date John tho Baptist, or that original Simon pure, deep water disciple, Noah! Too Pkevious: LIBRARIES AXD HUSKUES. Lyell's Second Travels in the United States" was published In 1815, in which he speaks of hut visit to the museum and library at Salem, as follows: "Visited Salom, a placo of 17,000 Inhabitants.

Dr. Wheatland, a young physician, showod us over tho museum of natural history, of which he was curator, and another full of articles illustrative of the arts, manners and customs of tho East Indies, Cliiua and Japan; for this city is a groat resort for retired merchants and ana captains. Such repositories ought to accompany public libraries in every large city, for they afford a kind ot instruction which cannot be obtained from books. I was well pleased to observe that tho shells of the neighboring coast bad not been noglected, for people are often as Ignorant ot the natural history of the region thoy Inhabit, especially ot the lalkos, rivers and sea, as of tho flora and fauna of' tho antipodes. LODGE, KMGHTS OF 110NOE.

At the last meeting of Arcanum Lodge No. 1,662, Knights of Honor, the following officers were elected: Dictator, Edwin Hay ward vice dictator, G. W. Bird; assistant dictator, V. Stratton; reporter, J.

W. Scott; financial E. Christie; treasurer, A. S. Chase.

The Officers of St. George's Church A Controversy With a Contractor. To the Editor of the Brooklyn Eagle An article appeared in the Eagle last night giving a very false Impression of a legal controversy into which St. George'3 Church has been drawn through the contractor for carpenter work In the new building. Iu the first place the whole amount suod for was a note of $230 with Interest and costs, and In the next place the whole question was merely whothor tho church should pay that amount to the contractor, to his asglgnoe or to the Sheriff.

The vestry acted under advico of counsol and there wore several questions as to the validity of the attachment and of tho assignment that could only be settled by the decision of a court What amounts have boon paid since the attachment was served wore only sucli as wore necossary to keep tho work on the building going. Tho decision of Judge Lawronco i3 that tho amount is to bo paid to tho Sheriff, and that any motion for contempt was out of tho question. Tbo Court on tho contrary decided "it was not necessary to consider tho motion to punish tho ofilcers fur contempt." As to tho officers of the church bBing sharply lectured by Judge Lawrence, this Is absolutely untrue as the church only appeared by counsel, and tho Judge said nothing at ail as to thoir conduct of the matter other than stated in tho decision. EDWAltD T. Coceev, Treasurer St.

George's Church. BltOOKf.YN, December 30, 18S7. A STOUT PERSON SujjffestM Improvements in the Academy of Music. To tlut Editor nf the Brooklyn Eagle I think it about time that the philanthropic body kuown as the directors of the Academy of Music would look to tho comfort and intorest the music lovlug public that attend the different concerts, at that building. I was an attendee at tho matinee porrormanco of Josef Hofmann, and held coupon 4, 9 lu tho gallery or family circle.

After being bumped up and down In my progress I reaobod my reserved seat. It is a shame that theso aisles are not guardod with hand rails, as it is too sceop to descend with any regard tor safety, especially if the party bo a heavy wolght. The pitch of this side aisle is not unlike a toboggan chute. And thoso reserved seats, steamer beaches with high backboard, and thoso are not numbered, and ono Is put in a seat and he is not sure as to the right or wroug seat. These benches rise Gibraltar like on eithor side of tno family circle.

In tho name of all that 1b modern, gentlemen, buy a pot of paint and expend a dollar or two, and look to the Interest of stout persons that have to wriggle dowa the side aisle. We are not all cliff climbers. Hugo Maux. 183 Halskv stheet, December 37, 1887. KX OFFICER HILLIEK AND OTHSIi POLICE.

To the Editor of the Brooklyn EagU Last Summer while driving in Prospect Park on a hot Saturday iny horse kicked at a gnat and caught his hoof into the dushboard. I turned him quickly into the trees, but before I had succeeded in extricating him a mounted officor dnshod up and reudorod valuable and courteous assistance. Tholadioiln tho carriago wore especially warm iu their commendation of Officer Hill yor, and I was afterward much surprised to hoar that thiB efficient officor had been removed for economical reasons. On Christmas day I drove entirely around the park and did not seo one policemen mountod or on foot, but I did see a groat many little children venturing on tho thin ice of tbo lako, and I thought If the ice should break where would tho police be found. Tho Brooklyn Park Commis slon also have control of Washington Park and tho plaza.

A policeman may be seen occasionally on, the pleasant walks of tho green, but tho plaza Is entirely given up to young ruffians who amuse themselves by insulting people ou their way to church on Suuday moruing and throwing 3toneB at asser. by at night. OsFOKI) StregSI Brooklyn. December 33. IBB, Plain of (he Brooklyn Citizens and Property Owners' Association.

A copy of the above plan is to bo sent to each of the 7.000 persons who have placed themselves In communication with ihe Brooklyn Citlzeua and Property Ownors' Assoolatljn for tho purpose of being recorded 53 opposed to the extension of tho bridge to the City Hall. The copy will bo accompanied by a statement, from which tho following extract Is taken: To illustrate the perfection of approach that can be given at Nassau streot (very possibly equally well at Ilii stroot) a drawing has been made by an expert, an engineer who has earnod his reputa tion by tho servicos he has rendered tho Ponnsyl vauia Steel Company. That drawing is sent here with and we think it speaks for itself. Tho result which is reached by that drawing is, drat: The pas sengers from the Union Elevated and the bridge will land on one great platform, which as ropro sontod on the drawing is 225 by 100 feet and which can be increased indefinitely in lougth, by occupy ing tho vacant spaeo left north of it up to Concord atroot, or in width by being carried over tho side of Washington stroot, whore it would bo no greater obstruction than la tho depot of an ordinary ele ratod railroad. Tho method of tormiuui which was proparod by tho bridge officials and which was presented at tho Legislature last Winter, tho engineer who mado that plan did not assum to disturb.

His desire was to demonstrate that all that was then asked for in the way of tracks and switches could bo had on the plans here suggested, and the plans which ho made has preserved all tho switching facilities then devised, simply shortening the link which connected theso facilition with tho present terminus at Sands streot. Ho did that in order to giro room for this great platform and fine approacn from Concord streot, without making It uecossary to carry tho structure into tho block above Concord street as was at first suggested last inter. Another advantage of having tho terminus at that point is that the tracks do hot cross Nassau street. Only tho platform crosses Nassau street, and as tho platform is thirty lnchoj higher than tho top of the tracks, tho druwlng shows that the platform, with only a slight curvature upward, can be carried over Nassau street with twelve feot head room, While tho railroad, if carried across Nassau streot, would give only six feot head room, not sufficient for any carriages to go under it. Of course it may bo said that tho railroad could bo carried across Nassau streot on an up grade, but nothing could bo moro dangerous in a railroad than to have the swrago and standing room for trains on a grade from which trains would always be liable to move out, dashing into each other or into incoming trains.

It may bo said that Nassau street could be lowered, but if Nassau street Is lowered Washington stroot must bo lowered whore it meets Nassau streot, and the great damage to tho adjacent property from lowering those two old streets at that point Is too evident to need discussion. Another advantage from this plan results from tho fact that tho summit of laud in that vicinity is about midway between Nassau street and Concord streot, and tho proposed platform terminates exactly at tho summit whoro it can be reached by an ascent of less than six feot. or less than the ascent to enter a front door of an ordinary high stoop house. By this plan both tho Union Elevated and tho Kings County trains can bo loaded on tracks running off from thoir main tracks, and a train on ono or tho other of tho tracks (shown on the diagram, both for tho Kings County Railroad and tho Union Elovatod Railroad) can always bo in readiness, as train also always be standing on tho bridge terminus. In other words, there need be no waiting on any platform for a trafu, and there nood bo no going over tracks, as at Forty second stroot, or as formerly ut Chatham squaro, and no going around tracks and no long walks, as at Park row and the bridge terminus at the present time.

h. Mr. Thomas H. Marshall and wife are spending a month vflth frleuds in San Mateo, Flo. 50 North Elliott place, Wednesday evening.

The parlors wore handsomely decorated for the occasion and mirth and morriment reigned uninterrupted until a late hour. Dancing, Blnging and reciting supplied the guests with abundant amusement, aud a collation at midnight made a most enjoyable climax. A Gorman ballad by Joseph A. Studdor wa3 woll received, after which a duet by Messrs. George Churbuck and Joseph Studdor was loudly applauded.

Then there were recitations by a number of young ladles and gentlemen and dancing followed and kept up till 4 o'clock. The officers of the club are: President, M. A. Campbell; vlco president, Harry Remily; secretary, L. II.

Wheeler; fiuanclal secretary, F. V. Rugors; corresponding secretary, A. J. McCauley; rocordlng secretary, W.

Phranor; treasurer, Uarry Rivers; sergeant at arms, T. Pool, and Chairman, George D. Foster. The guests were Mr. M.

A. Campbell, Miss Lizzio Corrigan, Mr. Hurry Homily, Miss L. C. Morritt, Mr.

L. H. Wheeler, Miss Emma Liberty, Mr. F. V.

Rogers, Miss Irene Rivors, Mr. A. J. McCauley, Miss Lizzie Thompson, Mr. W.

Phranor, Miss Jennie Campbell, Mr. Harry Rivers, Miss Eva Romily, Mr. Qoorgo D. Foster, Miss Lilian Hoffman, Mr. T.

Pool, Miss Lydla Jamorson, Mr. Charles McSklmmlngs, Miss Jessie Thrill, Air. D. A. Foster, Miss Addio Edwards, Mr.

Thomas Funis, Miss Allco Mannoy, Mr. James Conway, Miss Clndorolla Slattory, Mr. George Churbuck, Miss Minnie Martin, Mr. Joseph Studder, Miss Bartio Flanagan, Mr. Thomas Mullauoy, Miss Lizzie Sharkoy, Mr.

William Kondrlck, Miss Maggie Gillen, Mr. John Deianoy, Miss Addie Toner, Mr. Joseph Gloasou, Mr. John Whittior, Miss May Mc Loughlin, Mr. Georgo Harrington, Miss Grace Mercer, Mr.

E. O'Brien, Miss Nellie Dickinson, Mr. J. Griffith, Mr. Hugh Reed, Mr.

Frank Hulko and Mr. William Liberty. NATIONAL GUARD NOTES. Mayor Chapin Invited to the Thirty second esimcut. The last obstacle to the extension of the Thirty socond Regiment armory having bsen removed by the bid of P.

J. Carlln, submitted to the Board of Supervisors last Thursday, amounting to which will make It possible to erect the structure with tho present appropriation, the work will be pushed forward as rapidly as possible the momont tho contract is awarded. Tho plans for tho aunox were proparod by Architect William A. Mundoll and wituout regard to expense. Mayor Chapin has boon Invited to review the Thirty second Regiment on the occasion ot their annual ball at tho armory, January 23, whon marksmen's badges will also be presented.

The committee in charge are working like beavor3 making tho necessary urrangomouts and report that no expense will bo spared to make tho ball a success. Colonel Fiukolmelor of the Thirty socond Regi mont, has ordered an oloction for major to be hold January 6. The vacancy in the lieutenant colonelcy still remains and it is evident that tho colonel in ordering an election to fill only one of tho two important offices is following out his expressed resolution not to take away from tho heads of their companies two of his captains, as ho cloarly understands that if both officers are elected now no outsiders will be ohoson. Tho Council of Ofilcers will hold a caucus noxt Wednesday evening to select a nominee for the majorship. All of the candidates, to whom tho Eagle has already called attention, remain In tho field.

The non commissioned officers of Company D. Thirty second, recoived theoretical instruction from Captain Verdecberg on Friday oveuiug, in the absence of Lieutenant McQlynn, the regular in structor. Captain Renlson, of Company Twenty third, has been afflicted by the recent death of his mother, Mrs. M. A.

Renison, of Plaiufield, N. J. Company of the Thirty second, Lieutenant ELECTION OF OFFICERS. SEcd Men, IVise Men and Other Men Choose Their Leaders. At the last regular business meeting of Friendship Conclave No.

2, Hoptasophs or Seven Wise Men, tho following ofilcers wero elected: Chancellor, William Knapmanu; eminent archou, Alfred E. Reiinols; worthy provost, William R. Jacob; prolate, Goorgo W. Coutaut; rocordlng scribe, William II. Hauach; financial scribe, Danio LairJ; treasurer, Honry O.

Rausch; inspoctor general, James A. Laut; horald, Edward A. Young; sentinel, Edward F. Voorlieos; trustoo for three yoars, Edward II. Wood, P.

A. Tho installation will take place on Monday, January 9, ltBS. Mondota Tribo No. 5, Indopoudont Order of Red Men, held its annual couucil sloop on Thursday evening, and olectoj tho following officers; Prophet, A. A.

Philips, sachem, Walter C. Mason; senior sagamoro, John Green; Junior sagamore, W. F. Doxey; cbiof of rec, J. M.

Bird; assistant C. of R. J. M. Purdy; keeper of wampum.

At. Morritt; trustoo, Charlos Ltnfosly. Tho raising of tho big chiefs will take place on January 11, 1883. At the annual meeting of East New York Council No. 135, A.

L. held last, evening the officord were elected: Commander, Richard Pickering; vlco commandor, Charles F. Beardsloy; past commander, A. F. SuelUug; orator, Dr.

George E. Law; secretary, Charles U. Grogs; collector, J. C. Stelnheuser; treasurer, Henry Bade; chaplain, Walter Womyss; guide, James T.

Gow; warden, George Kirchner; sentry, John H. Cramer; trustees, Dr. F. II. Miller, John Fischer aud Mas O.

Nowman. TI1E FUNNY SAN. Who is that man who sits and bites His pen with aspect solemn He is the Funny Man who writes The weekly Comic Column. By day he scarco can keop awake, At night he cannot rest, His meals ho hardly dare3 to take His Jests, he can't digest. Ills hair, though not with yoars, Is white, His cheek is wan and palo.

And all with seokiug day. and night For Jokes that ure not stale. His Joys aro few, tho ohiofest one Is when by luck a word Suggests to him a novel pun His readers haven't heard. And whon a Yankee Joko ha sees In some old book well, then, Perhaps he gains a moment's ease, Aud makes It da again. Tho thought that chiefly makes him sigh Is tnat a time must como When Jokes extinct like mammoths lie, Aud jokers must be dumb.

When every quip to death is done, Aud evory crank is told, Whon men havo printed every pun, And overy Joke is old; When naught in heaven or earth or sea Hub not been turned to chaff, Aud not a single oddity Ls left to make us laugh. C. i'. llenham, in Harper's iUiaazint. I.