The Courier News from Blytheville, Arkansas on February 6, 1950 · Page 9
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The Courier News from Blytheville, Arkansas · Page 9

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Blytheville, Arkansas
Issue Date:
Monday, February 6, 1950
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Page 9
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MONDAY, FEBRUARY 6, 1950 OUT OUR WAY By J. R. Williams -K!ACK:-KACK IT ALL, JAKe/ CVWT YOU peR- cewe people AREN'T LAUGHING AT "THOSE 3OKES OF "WAT WEK6 SPREAD BY THE POW EXPRESS ?. — ITS VOOR CRUDB BRASS THAT AMUSES THEM—YOU AMD PIKE ARE TUB GHOSTS OP CHERRY , SISTERS/ DOMT 3DSH ME, BR1SHT BOY/ YOUR IDEA OP HUMOR IS TU& A8S£MT- PROFESSOR WHO WALTZES IMTD CLASSROOM HIS fOie CTIST JEALOUS CAUSE IT'S Me.joor \ THAT'S . FAlHOOS ' -IB pi 5S.1 I' ARGUE WITH A DOLT LIKE BORM THIRTY YEARS TOO SCOW ••*"' « '••'•«". " By Evelyn Barkins BLYTHEVJLLLE (ARK.) COURIER NEWS Our Boarding House with Moj. Hoople Private Rooms Koom A: board. 120 E. Ash, $1250 per week. Ph. 4382. 2[3 pk 2J17 Uedroom. Ijidy only. Phone 3557. 2|l pic 2[8 Bedroom with kitchen prlvelegs Th 2-123. JI25 pJc 2125 Comftuttible bedroom. Phone 2338. 1J2-1 pi: 2|24 Bedroom, close In MCD only 310 W Walaut. " 1[24 pk 2-24 NJcely furnlsbrtl large bctlrooth. prl- iitc home, Ph 2-383 1-18 pk 2-18 Ucdrdotn. convenient to bath Steum heat. t»h 3325 611 W Main. I|ll pit 2|1I Nice steam heated bedtoom iidjolntn" bath Men only 1 - 603 West Main, nh 4 " 2 1-21 ck tr NEW GLENCOE HOTEL Offers weekly rntcs to permanent Euests. !>h -Hfil or sec mannscr ^__^^^ i-20 ck 2-20 For Rent ow 1-roorn modern "Hh oil circulator — ___ n!i OUr t ^° n ' hc> " EC * miles out on s,n H ^° Roc "' El ««:«lclty. no bach &tc H. c. Kcnnccl}-. Clear Lake rtorcl . _ 1|31 PR 2|V xxxv 'J'HEN I prepared the case itself as if I imd been retained to defend her in an ax murder. J wrote out nil my points, listed the pros and cons, went over all my evidence <u sister who had •heard the original threat, a son- .m-la w who had witnessed the stolen items in the accuser's trunk laftcr the date of the supposed .theft, and three co-operative fiieighbors who were ready to jswcar to Mrs. Slater's husband's .usual cruelty and eccentricity). [and last, 1 recited niy entire case ; from beginning to end for John, iwho was supposed to interrupt like a doubtful judge, and cross- examine like a hungry district attorney. The night before the trial ! scarcely slept and kept poor John awake imaging the worst- I showed up in cour t the nex t morning in my most imposing clolhes (on which the skirt zipper under the jacket no longer closed). Fortunately, for all of us, with (he witnesses J had, Mrs. Sinter stood as much chance of being convicted as a Perry Mason-pro- tege, and everything cuded happily- . "But never againr I swore to John'in (he two days f took to recuperate. "Criminal law is too upsetting for me. In any other kind of case, the worst that happens is that your client loses money. In this work, somebody may actually go to jail. That's terrible." As time gradually'passed, however, 1 found that 1 had acquired a middle-sized group of faithful clients, and I spent many pleasant afternoons drawing up wills and contracts, starting one divorce case, one separation case, and suing four insurance companies in accident cases. I even began methodically to send letters on my majestic legal stationery to some oOohc's delinquent debtors. "It's no iise," John said, when I oegau this. "You know what it's like gelling patients to pay. 1 know. The reluctance to part with any amount o( money at all for medical services was as deeply ingrained as Ihe instinct lo evade income tax. U was John's contention that no grocer would ev« deign to tolerate the dead bills "int any doctor habitually .carries, anil he ventured to wonder i( a irce loaf of bread or a can of to- malo juice with each visit, inintil not produce better financial re- lysVEHTIIELESS,*! wrote my tellers, and w c wer e both astounded to discover in many Pleasing instances, that the threal of the mighty hands of the law in Ihe form of the bold Counselor- at-Law on my stationery, was as effective in producing results as a slorm trooper's former triumphant missions. Eventually, as my size continued to increase, my legal activities became necessarily curtailed. , iT 0 ?! haw big ! ' rn selling,- I told John one uight as we prepared for bed. "Perfectly natural," was the disinterested reply, which made me a eh" imporlant as a "«h leg on "Say, look here," I siiid, with mounting annoyance, "you're supposed lo be looking after me, and you never do." John slowly removed another shoe before replying. "When did I Like your blood pressure last?" he asked, wriggling his toes. Six weeks ago," I said. . He went into the office, and came back and took mj blood pressure, as 1 sat in bed. "Is that all?" I asked. 'Sure," he said. "You're feeling well, aren't you? You take your own weight from lime lo time and know enough to keep it down So that's all." "But I don't understand," 1.pro- tested. "In practice', the women come in regularly every two or three weeks, carrying their little bottles as if they were bearing sacrifices to the heathen God 0 ( Fertility." "Look sweetie," said John, stifling a yawn, "can I help it if the average woman loday expects a workout with everything but a crystal ball? % Doctors give them what they want, and since U can't hurt them either, I'm not goinj; lo start a crusade for rc-cducation. 1 do everything that's necessary. A normal prenalal course is nothing more to gel excited about than a wurl on the end of your finger " was nothing more to say, so 1 went lo sleep. My ego did not suffer greatly, however, because basically the whole business seemed quite unreal. and I watched my own progress with Uie unshakable, subconscious con- viclton that it was all happening lo somebody else. Most women, in the office and out, would take one look and launch into a descriptive account in technicolor, of their own experiences. The gory details I «eard were more than a little frightening. It didn't really help much to go through the old "My mother had babies, my grandmother had babies, ami that's how everyone else came here loo" routine. Nor was John's professional "natural function" idea any consolation either. The fear persisted, like a stubborn stain, ,ind in desperation I borrowed John's, texlbook on obslct- rics and read it Ihrougli from cover to cover. Natural function indeed! After wading through Ihe iideous complications lisled by Dr. Do Lee, I was ready to order a tombstone, and chloroform myself wilh the first pain. As for Ihe gruesome illustrations, f turned •way wilh the nauseated conviction Ihat if those pictures were ever made more public, it would resull in race suicide. ' In a final demoralizing step, I took to the panaccan, "happily ever after" articles in the popular ladies' magazines, like a dope addict returning lo his opium; which treatises although thoroughly be- rale<] by John and his colleagues, rcallirmerl my confidence. (To Be Concluded) Personal Tnlrty minute pnotostatlo scrvlc 0-STEEN'S STUUJO 118-cB-t The National Geographic Society says dried sea slugs are o:ie of the chief exports of Port Moresby, New Guinea, on rnirona sla- .MUKvcst Dairy Products Ph 44-17 11U6 et ti oS^N'S'SfSfiiJ'" "" "S™" r ighway 61 rnone 3172 8,23 ck U : 2|I2 IT PAYS YOU To Keep Vonr Shoes in GOOD REPAIR H-fl LTERS QOflLITY SHO£ SHOI 121 W. M fl I N ST. LJSTEN TO „ BOYD McKAY'S Songs That Are Different" Station KLCN 5 P.M.—EVERY DAY EXCEPT SUNDAY Sponsored by JpPA/nPRACK KEROSENE and FUEL OIL G.O.PoetzOilCo. Phone 2089 ''If it's only a matter of railroad fare that's keeping your mother-in-law here, w/iy don't you get o persona/ loan from GENERAL CONTRACT PURCHASE CORPORAT/ON?" • NOW OPEN • Offering Complete Kiorisfic Service PLOVER ...„ & Corsage Flowers Our Specially RONALD \VEHLKR M c " STJ ,,j,- s Soulli Highway si rh«n« 6»«2 Chamblin Sales Co. • Sales & Service • "Your Friendly Studebaktr Dealer" [RAILROAD & ASH PHONE sea FRECKLES AND HIS FRIENDS BY MERRU.L BLOSSEg Rescued BI66ER StOWDRlFT I SHALL WE JOIN TO DUMP US H ? A -fti i »,Lc3 N W%^&*™. CHRISTMAS ORO THAT GOT O£t-AY£O M =' MAIL.' "If you want popcorn, get it on the way in—you know how cross your father is when you wake him up!" I'KISCIU.A'S !>OI Knows Wlmt He's Doing BY AL VERMEER PRISCILLA, 1 SAID NO. IT'S ABSOLUTELY OUT OF THE QUESTION] PLEASE, POP, PLEASE.' WON'T VCU LET ME TAKE" TROMBONE LESSONS? I KNOW1 THAT'S JUST WHAT I'M WORRIED ABOUT! Luxury—Plus u Plot BY .MICHAEL O'MALLEY and WE KIND or DAV THAT'^ WHAT'S PARADISE M vie PLINT ' YOU " MAKES A1E WONMR IF < THERE ARtNT ANV OPENINGS TOR PUBIIC STENOGRAPHERS IN THE TROPICS-OR MAYBE PEAKS IT OPtNS NEXT WEEK. ITHAS EVERYTHING-- WELCOME TD PARADISE PEAKS _ WATER (although ...-. ip'r-iuna-uu;,^ AM<C fULL Of IT. IT'S A SIMPLY TOOL, FRENCH CUISINE FABULOUS WINTER RESORT.' couldn't know it) * murder. I PWSUADSO MRS. YWWOKtoCOM AWO TO SB INS CAPTAIN KASY BY LESLIE TURNER RGMU AHEV MUST BE HUE WIRES' GOSH 0' MIGHTr, WHAT A IWEll BIAZES, TWATS OKE GIRL IUE SOT TO KNOW! THIS WAV BE TH-IUBMNG/CAUT sut POIMI IU MV LIFE,.. ft.UD IC»U'T 1HIUKOF ATHIWS tABV! THE TWINS WILL BE WvlGHTV HAPPS TO GET /) BUGS BUNNY Homework Idea POUNDS S AT FI POUNP/ YA SOT <l6.i<3 O 1 GROCERIES, KIP/C'N VA SURE SOT ) I'M IN A A UOAC7 O' SROCCRlESj ADO UP KIP/ . --'HOW MUCH IT COMES TO, ...I JUST WANTEP TH' ANSWER TD AN ARtTHMmC CROOCCM *r£'KE HAVIN' SCHOOL TOPAy/ BY V. T. HAMLIN I DON'T KNOW \VH6i? E TrCSE HACP1E5 AI2E HOLDtNS ALLEY, BUT ID LIKE TO SEE 'EM >, KEEP ME . ._. >l\ FINDING HIM: SO WEPE KAVIN' F*XTY. EHT JJOOTS ANJ) II KR UUDDIKS Hard (o Kclie\ BY EDGAR MARTIN

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