The Tribune from Scranton, Pennsylvania • Page 19

THE SCRANTON REPUBLICAN, FRIDAY; AUGUST 7, 1925 By Royl GIRLETIES Wonder What the Man In the Underwear Ad Thinks About By Briggs HoPS tJosoW vJiut. Think fa ElX fAV 3411 6 5 tMSWCeftE li9 for owe NvlNVTej. that CrJOWj RCAU SUJSHIMC VUHtCW FUNNY SO ITS AMD HATS J5UT I FEU Jilt UYSiTTlMG AROUuD LIKE POSB PEEC MOST UrJ COMPoRTAQLS SlTTIrJG too vjouuo oesesvs vucrq, This. PfttNrrcpik) It isn't often that we disagree with a college professor. In our undergraduate days, it, is true, we quite often took issue with them as to what con nil ict stituted 'a passing; recitation.

But it didn't seem to help our cause at all. They are too hard hearted. In fact, the only thine that. Is harder than a pro lessor's heart is his head. Unfortunately, a professor at the tXnlTtrsity of California has coma eat with a statement that the nsa of slang; is the same as cursing.

Be oonoTudes 11 A that one had just aa well say "dam" as Unfortunately, we say, be cause it just happened that we were in one of our disagreeing; moods when the statement came to our attention. In tlie first place, a professor knows very little about profanity. That Is to say, he may have an elemental or rudimentary knowledge of It but he Is not likely to cash in on its full possibilities. And in the second place, however little he knows about profanity he knows even less about slang. For tastance, you ask a professor, "What Is a tomato?" and he answers, "Something eat," or words to that effect.

Whereas "tomato" means the same as "peach" or "chicken" and Just the opposite of "oilcan." As an example, you see a girl on the street and she's either a tomato or an oilcan. In other words, she's either the MoCoy or she's the boloney. What does a pro fessor know about these simple, first grade terms? The answer is nothing, indeed, tiiat mucn. Now then, you know a man that you don't like. In your ODinlon he Is a large hunk of cheese.

You see him on the street and you say, "Oh, there. weu. Take a cast cook at ms rue got To PoJfe XfJ YoO AMD ME I We At TVP I IDMT Mys A PAWD Fl3Ue CeRYTHN UOUU.D 8E Fi BUT IT'S MV This IS ALU' Hemingway, I think you are a large chunk of cheese." Of course, Heming. IVa uPPosep To BE ii Tne LbcKeft roon op a GOLP CLUS. NBVER HIT A GOLF BALL.

IN.fy UPCJf! taustknjovuit. A Ol PFAHtrJeO MIGHT SHl(iT way doesn like it. but he can have you arrested for assault and at the same time you have told him exactly what you thought of him. How suppose yon had said, "Hemingway, think you are blankety blank or even a or any other profane equivalent for a large hunk of cheese. Immediately yon run the risk of rolng to Jail and ron haven't rot anv i a 04 more off your chest than If yon had used the slang.

On the other hand, suppose you are hanging a picture for your wife. Of course, you may not have a wife but you probably have a picture. Anyway, you are hanging a picture and you hit your thumb with the hammer. Immediately you Eay or or even and then you've said something that really expresses your feelings in a fair and generous and unstilted manner. But suppose you had said, "oh, shucks" or "darn." Is there anything soul satisfying and robust about that? No.

And furthermore, nobody gets any practical idea of Just how you felt at the moment of impact. It's weak and anemic. It's slipshod, loose and disjointed. It just doesn't do. Any professor who takes such a stand is a purist.

4 purist Is a person who would rather shoot his mother in law than sp'it an infinitive. Ho, that doesn't describe him. Even a professor may regard his mother in law rather lightly. A purist, then, is man who would rather shoot himself than split an infinitive. All in all, we'd say the professor is all wet.

And If he thinks that's swearing, what would he say if we were to call him Just as we thought; he detects the difference. HE SAID I A6AIW HfO uavE Mfc 1 HQVO I REG'LAR FELLERS GUESSING ON A SURE THING fCepyrffht till, by The Bell Syndicate. I no. Trade Hark Bee. tJ.

A. Fat Oflei). By Gene Byrnes HEREfe A Re6rlST6HEO llirCC FOB VOO! I 1 VMBUUTHATsX. JOS' THE REASON I 1 WANT O0 TO DO CPyripit. I9.

by Tht B.B 8TiHflw. 1st.) YOUR NAME SISTERLY SWEETNESS ELLA CINDERS By Bill Conselman and Charlie Plumb NEVER MIND, SIS. MAYBE NOU MAkF WAV MftWF IaAV cao tub caiocct e. rTM maybe I didnt depvf' THAT EVER BLOOMED IN A KITCHEN SINK! OUT CAN WIN A BEAUTY PRIZE. BUT YOU'l SHOW THEM ALL TO WIN THE PRIZE.

BUT I pmirttOMOKtD QLB55E5, B0Y3, WOULDNT BE LIKE THEM FOR. ANYTHING IN TWF when the International HERE COMES THE STOCK SHOW STREET I ATTEND THEATER The Scranton Republican will pay $15 in carb prizes each week fui the best Local Lafs submitted in tbis contest and these prize winning jokes will appear in a motion picture film of that name in your theater each week. A number of Local Lafs which do not win cash prizes will be published in The Republican's contest page each day, the authors of which will get free movie tickets. Local Lafs Now Showing at Strand, Roosevelt, Park, Globe, Palace (Avoca), Roman (Pitts ton), and Majestic (Carbondale). DAZZLING BEAUTY.

WORLD. THEY'RE 50 MEAN Aw. BA8Y.NWRE NOT T. Mv STILL ANNOVED) rfJSJ NLV 86CAU5E THAT SASSV ANED BUTI Little. Ella hope an EARTH WON THE OUAkE HITS HOLLY I WOOD BEFORE SHE i GETS THERE, THAT HER TRAIN '5 j4 TvR WRECKED, AND yr).

VTHAT SHE NEVER nsSTARTS! OPENS IN TEE HEE! THEY GIVE THElO AMP GO iftK CHICAGO! ORftNDMOTHER ROLLER RPAlfTV A BATH IN A '5 win. nini huh! She's FOUNTAIN pPRESENT lTHE RAGBAG'S lOnly rival! i Visitor "What is your new brother's Ethel "I don't know, we can't understand a word ha lays." Vary rrabtlcian, 332 Church Taylor, hi Sage "Women are not what they nsed to he." Bap "Well, no. They used to be girls." Miss Veraa Bwick, 533 Maple street. 1 Wife ''Wake tip, Harry, there's a burglar downstairs." Husband 'It's tCl rig lit, dear; left soma bootleg grin on the sideboard. CnWrteV.Wt.lylwe8lMMiiitSBvie TU piok him up in the morning." Thomas wuuams.

357 Lincoln avenue. THIS AND THAT By Knickerbocker. TIME ONLY CHANGES By Powers Ytf THEY HAVtnV 1 THIH1 IK DtPPECTLY TtPPl9Llr THE VAY YOUNG FOUVS ACT TO DAY DOH'T YOU AAPONf DCJMHff OF OUP MY PHEUMATlSMt ItF QtlCt I iv YOU I pocSpoofer; JJHERE9 fVOf IN "THE BRKr 3 VlfAA 1 S31 AUOAWS. tUEN, a ONE COMSOUNO I GCJT JM ffi HAVE" BEEN OTf) JccHvVsfa JSlty sSS WtHAT X'M PALUNCrONLV rROBBEDf BUT 3UPPOSE I'M CEWAlNLS fOWUNATEr 1 IN LUCK "BECAUSE TUEW 30St CUNV "CVAAT XJION'T TAKE MW FALSE IfeetW 'VrAb BEEN ATRUCVf r3: i5 TO 9 Renevnsd Doe. flpoofmr Win Ulrf Miiet Ctllr on Bulntaa, Lots I'oUUca.

and Oteee DUeea, SHOULD BE, AHYWAT. Dear Spoof er: Did you near my iuhdkiiu ui. this morning at 5 o'clock? He was singins like a Nightingale. Sounds to me more like a NIGHT OH CH AP tFr OH CH AP tEr IK JAIL. KUKTXHO TOB IT Dear Doc.

I saw you playing a flute last nigni. I thought your favorito was a violin. NEIGHBOR it ia mv instructor said my music had a sour note and I was try lng to put my finger it. BEAXi AST Dear 01c Snoofer: II recently attended an. art exhibition OiLit had a cubist section.

What Is TcifblKt artist anyway? mn.v TiYT A cuhist artist is an artist with me If I don't pay her a weekly salary the cubes; one who can make a Bev'jh garet; one son, John; three sisters, Mildred. Zada and Marlon: threa Krnth. of $25. What do you advise? come eleven. ers, Austin, Gilbert and Burton.

MRS. JOHN MUNLEY DIES AT HOSPITAL Mrs. John Munley, 2T, of Vfallsvtlle, daughter of Rev. Bert ickox, pastor of the Wallsvllle M. E.

Church, died at the State Hosnltal at 10' o'clock yester day morning following an operation. The funeral will take place at i o'clock tomorrow afternoon with interment in Dalton Cemetery. Mrs. Munley is survived by her husband, her parents, Rev. and Mrs.

Hickoxt two lora and Mar IiSSS MX FBMSITB IN DOUBT Pay it. The Judge will give her mora than that if she leaves you. (Copyrieht 1925. S. Hammock.) Montreal had 131 inches of snow last year, and clearing the streets of it Pear Uy wle sajs that she will leave I.