Daily News from New York, New York • 245

El 8 A second" honeymoon- is no place for mother-in-law EAR ANN: Your advice to 0) "J.B.," whose mother-in-law tried to horn in on her second wrong idea, I would like to clarify that statement by pointing out that the danger is to the street people and 7qu? will be a Boss kGr.eynzoon not to tne public. Mentally HI people who live on the streets are victims of violence, crime and abuse. They do not cause it I would be grateful if 1 honeymoon, prompted me to write this open letter to my son: Dear Son: I meant it when I told you on your wedding night that your first obligation was, from that point on, to your wife, not to me. Now that I'm getting older, I wish to repeat it. i you printed this letter.

"4 John A. Talbott, M.D., President American Psychiatric Association Dear Dr. Talbott: Thank 1 JULIANNE PHILLIPS, who became Mrs. Bruce Springsteen Sunday night in Lake Oswego, will be testing on Friday for the female lead in Paramount's upcoming movie "Top Guns." Starring Tom Cruise, the flick takes place at an Air Force training area where the best fighter pilots top guns are taught everything they know. Meanwhile, on the domestic front there is a tiny ripple or two.

Bruce is strongly opposed to his bride's testing for the movie maybe because the role she would play is a romantic one all kissy and cuddly and Bruce Doesn't Like It The baby trouble in paradise should soon blow over. Honeymoon plans have been made. Julianne will accompany her new husband on his imminent European tour, and surely they will be able to steal a few minutes alone together along the way. Thrills and heartthrobs. you for your letter and the material that accompanied it.

As you pointed out, the homeless mentally ill have become society's "untouchables." They are unable to speak for themselves, unable to protect themselves and unable to acquire the bare necessities for living. Disoriented by their disea I hope I remain good company, the kind of person you will want to invite along on some of your activities. But if I should ever slip into the rcle of elderly manipulator, wielding the deadly weapons of self-pity and disregard for others, kindly let me know it If, for instance, I should invite myself along on a second honeymoon, you would not be doing me or yourself a favor to allow me to get away with it. As you lit I A lSf BLr 1 se, the mentally ill struggle Ann Lenders Jon Peters with internal forces that send them away from their homes, from treatment, from mmm may remember, your father mtmm allowed your grandmother to wedge herself between us. The result was hard feelings and finally permanent estrangement.

She may have won a few battles but she certainly lost the war. Allow me the dignity of remaining an adult who knows where I belong in the familial lineup now that you have a wife. Your Loving Mother Dear Mother: I predict your letter will be clipped and sent to more mothers-in-law than any other in the last decade. It was a real beaut. Dear Ann: Thank you for stating in your column recently that the federal and state governments must work together to see that homeless, mentally ill people are taken off the street and cared for.

In that same column you noted that mentally ill people who sleep on the streets and in doorways can be dangerous. Should any of your readers get the the very elements that could help in remission or recovery. I repeat, the federal and state governments must work together to see that these people are taken off the streets and cared for. We are our brothers' keeper. Dear Ann: I left an abusive husband four years ago.

He barraged my attorney with phone calls and impromptu visits. When I received my attorney's bill I was shocked to discover he charged me $80 an hour for the time spent explaining things on my behalf to my husband. Are these fees legal? Boiling in Rochester, N.Y. Dear The fees are not only legal, they are cheap. Check around, honey.

The heavy hitters charge $250 an hour. As Jane said to Tarzan, "It's a jungle out there." if5 1 1 i ff I V4- I Is lf vf Eric Roberts KS jLa i AT VIT'S EitD Tina a head of her time LL OF MY LIFE I've been a it social wimp. I laugh at jokes that aren't Sandy Dennis JON PETERS, who will be remembered for, among other things, living with Barbra Streisand for what seemed like forever, has called it a day and a night with Christine Forsythe, the interior decorator he has been seeing for the last two years. Another split involves Randy Newman and his wife Roswitha. They are divorcing, and Randy has already moved into the Shangri-La Hotel in Santa Monica, where all the trendy music and movie celebs hang out.

Just recently Randy was hanging out on the island of St Barts with Steve Martin, Victoria Tennant, An jelica 1 Huston and Lome and Susan Michaels. Roswitha was nowhere around. (Newman, Martin and Michaels are doing a script for Martin's next movie, "Three On the other hand, rumors are rife that -Dana Wheeler Nicholson and Eric Roberts are plan-ning to marry. You do remember the great day I brought this love affair to your attention? Eric was formerly "with" Sandy Dennis "with" translating' into living together in adjoining houses in Connecticut. It was as together as they could get because Eric hated each and every one of Sandy's myriad cats.

Incidentally, Eric's sister, who ought to know because they are close, is denying that brother has any idea of marrying Dana, who will be seen in the Chevy Chase movie, "Fletch." Eric is currently making "Runaway Train" starring Jon Volght PAT AND MICHAEL YORK and Penny and Desmond Guinness will fly into town on May 21 to be here for the auctiondinner-dance at Sotheby's benefitting the Isabel O'Neil Foundation, of which the two couples are honorary chairmen. This unusual event with Dorothy Slover, presiding as chairman, will combine the talents of some of New York's finest decorators plus the cream of the O'Neil Foundation's masters and students, all dedicated to the art of the painted finish, perhaps the hottest trend in the interior design field. Together they have created one-of-a-kind pieces for auction. As last year's sale brought astounding prices, this year's is expected to break the record. Among the designers attending will be Betty Sherrill, Mario Buatta, Albert Hadley, Ron Grimaldi, Michael de Santis, Richard Ridge, Richard Hare, Mark Hampton and Suzie Frankfort.

Among the treasured names you know and love present will be Mrs. Douglas Fairbanks Mrs. Thomas Mellon Evans, James Biddle and Gloria Vanderbilt EXACTLY 20 YEARS and 703 design sites later, supporters of New York's historic and architectural past will gather at a spectacular dinner-dance on May 21 to celebrate the anniversary of the city's landmarks law. This precious 1965 legislation after Penn Station and the old Metropolitan Opera House were lost forever helped give rise to the national movement to preserve the best of our past for the sake of the future. Hear! Hear! At the dinner, civic-minded guests will toast the likes of the Flatiron Building, Trinity Church, the Custom House, the Woolworth Building, the Brooklyn Bridge, etc.

and raise money for the "Census to Save New York," other potential landmarks sponsored by the Landmarks Preservation Society. Foundation head Barbaralee Diamonstein-Spielvogel and Gene Norman of the Landmarks Commission, the dinner's chairmen, will greet guests at Castle Clinton in Battery Park, where sweeping views of the harbor and landmarks abound. The ultimate landmarks booster, Brooke As tor, and former Mayor Robert Wagner are honorary co-chairmen and the illustrious committee includes such as the Andrew Heiskells, the Arthur Sulzbergers, Carl Spielvogel, the John Brademases, Philippe de Mon-. tebello, the Danny Davisons, former Mayor John Lindsay and maybe even the present Dare they hope? like a nice lady and has endured. But somehow I don't see the women of America worshiping at the shrine of space-shuttle hair.

What is really amazing to me is the double standard our kids use. Recently my son came for a visit Something had happened to my hair. I had slept funny on it and had already used funny. I rave about yellow food. I compromise my own views.

If I had seen the emperor naked, I would have said, "Love that color on you. You're a Spring, aren't you?" I'm a wimp because basically I am "XT'" ft iirK enough foam on it to land a crippled 747. "What's wrong with your hair?" he asked. "What's it doing?" "It's sticking up all over your head. Jeez, mom, you ought to do something with it It looks strange." "I look strange," I said.

"You talk to me about my hair when you can watch Cyndi Lauper without adjusting the color on the TV set? insecure and need to be loved. Recently, I read where Christopher Welles, a prominent hair stylist, named Tina Turner as having the best hair style in America today. He described it as "innovative and fresh." Croissants are fresh. Fat cheerleaders are innovative. Tina's hair is what hap-g pens to a 45-year-old woman who has just been told by 9 her obstetrician she is about 7 to become a mother.

Pat York i A. "You could watch the Grammys and not try to crawl into the set with a brush and comb? And as for Tina Turner's hair "What's wrong with Tina Turner's hair?" he said defensively. "It looks like she's just been on a trip with Toto and Dorothy." "I always thought you were too insecure and had to be loved to say things like that" I shrugged, "So maybe she has a cowlick. I'll give her that' W83 Lot Angeles Time! Syndicate It's what happens when you clean the toaster without unplugging it. It's what happens to Shirley Mac-oJ Laine's hair in "Terms of Endear-2 ment" after a ride in a convertible with Jack Nicholson.

It's what happens when you crawl out of bed in the morning and want to die. There are a lot of things to admire about Tina Turner. Her legs, for example. They're going to go on dancing for a good 20 years after she's gone. She sings a good song, seems 4 ft I A A i Michael York -V.