Calgary Herald from Calgary, Alberta, Canada • 29

THE CALGARY HERALD July 5, 1972 29 Jim COLEMAN 'a mm TORONTO The ultimate idiocy of inflation-ary practices in sports salaries is demonstrated by Bobby Fischer's holdout for $104,000 before he agreed to play chess with Boris Spassky, the marvellous Muscovite. What the hell is the world coming to, when a couple of chess players can compete for a total purse of The world has lost all sense of values when you consider, by way of contrast, that Dr. Joseph E. Salk received a congratula-tory handshake when he saved millions of young lives by perfecting a polio vaccine in 1953. Vet, we have the incredible spectacle of our Canadian daily newspapers giving front-page display to Fischer's butt-dragging progress from New York to Iceland.

Sweet suffering Susie! Fig-For-Danger Fischer and Srrangler Spassky have chased Bobby Hull and Benny Hatskin right off page one. Chess, eh? Well, there's a really exciting sporting event for you! They're going to put the Fischer-Spassky slumber-fest on international television. They'd attract a much larger international tv audience if they moved their cameras to some waterfront tavern and waited for an impromptu hair-pulling bout, involving a couple of old gin-soaked doxies. Hi, there, Abe Yanofsky, one-time child chess wizard from Winnipeg! You were bom 30 years too early. Only an utter slob would deny that chess Is a great game.

It Is an intellectual pastime which demands massive mental boncentration, skill and cunning. It is, too, a universally played game which is quite as popular in the Orient as it la in the Western world. Yes, it is internationally popular but, up until now, chess seldom has generated great box office appeal. And, this is the first occasion in history that a chess player has held out for a payoff of $104,000 before he was prepared to get his clock cleaned. Obviously, someone has smartened up these international chess masters.

Obviously, someone has convinced them that they were suckers, if they played simply for their love of the game. Someone has convinced them that, belatedly, they should clamber aboard the rich gravy train. Is it possible that Bobby Fischer has been taken in tow by one of those agents who have become conspicuous in the North American sporting scene within the past decade? Is it possible that Bobby Fischer has retained the services of Arnold Eaglerock, the Toronto lawyer, who controls the financial destinies of a passel of clients, including hockey players, football players and the nude chef at the Mynah Bird, a Toronto bistro? Since Mr. Eaglerock has liberated all the downtrodden hockev and football players, 'he must be planning missionary work in other fertile fields. Accordingly, your inquisitive reporter made a telephone call to the busy legal eagle, to ascertain whether he is a party to Bobby Fisher's salary demands.

haven't even met Mr. Fischer," Eaglerock replied stiffly, when the question was put to him. "However, it's high time that someone did something about organizing those chess players. They have been exploited scandalously by the tournament promoters. The very thought of it makes my blood boil like a retort of sulphuric acid on a Bunsen "Are you going to do anything about it, Arnold, baby?" the reporter asked hopefully.

"Well, I've had my investigative staff doing a bit of research work on the possibility of organizing the chess players," Eaglerock admitted briskly. "The chess players really have been getting a bum deal. You'd be surprised if I told you some of the terrible occupational hazards of their profession." "Occupational hazards?" the reported blurted. "What's hazardous about sitting in a chair, in front of a chess board?" "You've named it!" Eaglerock barked triumphantly. "Those chess players must sit in their chairs, hour after hour, while the television cameras watch their every move.

All men who play chess for more than 10 years are certain to suffer from chronic constipation. This is the secret tragedy of their sport. Most of them, ultimately, must submit to expensive corrective surgery." The reporter cluck-clucked sympathetically. "And, we are going to demand a pension plan for chess players," Arnold Eaglerock said firmly. "Do you realize that the average international chess master is all washed up before he is 70? When their competitive careers are finished, the promoters cast them aside like useless corn husks.

We must provide them with dignified comfort in their old age." Come back, Bobby Hull! Come back, Benny Hatskin! Never again will we complain if hockey news is splashed all over page one. i Pele claims Hull made biggest mistake of life lm 'tin pi Basra ALL WEATHER, Your Best 4Ply Nylon Tire Value! GOODYEAR SAFETY ALL-WEATHER BATTERY CLEARANCE Factory Fresh, Power Packed 30 month guaranteed batteries at very special prices. 45 as Mi low wr mm as MB TORONTO (CP) Pele. world soccer star from Brazil said here Tuesday that Bobbv Hull, who jumped from "the National Hockey League a week ago to the World Hockey Association, "made the biggest mistake of his career," when he signed with Winnipeg Jets for $1.75 League, declined to say how much he earns. "Sure, I turned down a $2 million offer from Inter Milan and Mexico but money isn't everything," Pele said.

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Armstrong, a scout with the Leafs since his retirement a year ago, takes over from Frank Bonello, who becomes general manager of the junior club and Jack White, former assistant manager, be-comes executive 8.25 SI 7 AH If $2 155 Black Hawks' star, Pele said. "Hull, like myself, is one of the greatest athletes a the world. I know he got $1 million from the WHA and whatever else you say. If he's that, good, then the money is not enough. "I don't have a manager," Pele added.

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