Daily News from New York, New York • 51

1 nersday Listen Up! AMY ALKON rails Talking about 'down there3 in hopes of raising consciousness Advice on love, dating, sex relationships birth. "It was a wide, pulsing heart," Sarandon read. "The heart is capable of sacrifice. So is the The readings were interrupted briefly by a disturbing photo exhibit of battered women, piece about a raped Bosnian women. We grabbed our guts laughing as Lily Tomlin said she had abandoned climax because it "felt too Hollywood, orgasm by formula." We squirmed as Marisa Tomei talked about pubic hair.

We accompanied by hauntingly beautiful native American drummers. Ensler's niece, Hannah Ensler-Ri-val, 6, lightened the mood by answering the question "If my vagina got dressed, what would it wear?" with a snappy "Red "If my vagina got dressed, what would it wear?" commiserated with Rosie Perez, who mimicked a group of teen-age girls talking about menstruation. Then Shirley Knight impersonated a Jewish woman talking about "down there," say By MICHELE McPHEE Daily News Staff Writer woman's private 1 parts are like the fill Bermuda Triangle I I no one ever re- I 1 ports back," said LJ kJL performance artist Eve Ensler, minutes before the curtain went up on a star-studded reading from her work, "The Vagina Monologues." Last Saturday night, women's private parts was all that anyone on stage at midtown's Hammer-stein Ballroom was talking about. In an unprecedented feminist event, a group of celebrities including Glenn Close, Whoopi Goldberg, Winona Ryder and Lily Tomlin took the discussion of female privates public in an attempt to open discussion on what's considered by many to be a taboo topic. Each of the women performed excerpts from Ensler's book, a compilation of 200 interviews with women talking about their often-ignored sex organs.

Ensler had asked them questions that delved into the most intimate issues of female sexuality The women a mix of agefrace and social background came up with answers that are as amusing as they are poignant We cheered as Whoopie Goldberg begged gynecologists to trade paper gowns that felt like "recycled freezer wrap" for purple velvet and to lose steel stirrups fuzzy slippers. We wiped tears from our eyes as Winona Rider performed a ing: "I haven't been down there since 1953. No, it had nothing to do with Eisenhower." Knight's 72-year-old character discovered her sexuality after dreaming about dining with Burt Reynolds, who is washed away in a flood in the restaurant "I don't know why it was Burt Reynolds," she says. "He never did that much for me in life." A horror story There were plenty of moving moments. Soraya Mire, a filmmaker from Somalia who was a victim of genital mutilation, talked about the torture she endured at the hands of her mother.

Gloria Steinem embraced her, handed her a red tulip, and they both cried. Susan Sarandon became teary performing "I Was There in the Room," a piece Ensler wrote about being present when her daughter-in-law gave high tops and a Mets cap worn backwards." In addition to raising consciousness about women's liberation, all the money raised at the celebrity-chocked event, dubbed V-Day, was donated to help combat violence against women. Ensler, herself, is an incest and battering survivor. At the end of the performance, she asked every woman who had been the victim of abuse to stand up. Most of the audience was on its feet.

"Eve is a power of example for the universe," said Lynn Blumenfeld, a member of the V-Day Committee. "She makes you believe you can change the world every day." Even though Ensler's show has traveled the world, and the country, the playwright is not done yet "I want it to be like a big vagina quilt," she said, "and keep on growing." QFm a 43-year-old single mom with three children. Hie eldest, my 18-year-old daughter, wants to pierce an earring through her left eyebrow. How can I make her understand that 1) 1 don't like it, 2) She has to follow rides at home and 3) Site must listen to me because I'm her mother? Also, maybe you can advise her on how her choices will affect her future. Af.

Rodriguez, Queens A Take a random fashion sampling of a gaggle of 18-year-old girls and you're likely to find tattoos, shaved heads and life jacket-orange hair that won't come in contact with a comb during this millennium. They're probably wearing work pants big enough to double as tarps for wide-body jets. They top them with pricey sweaters designed to look as if they were created from abandoned fake-fur toilet seat covers, hideous vintage polyester that the original owners neglected to burn (or melt) during the '70s and rags you wouldn't deign to use as dustcloths. Their nails are painted dainty, feminine colors like "Puke" and "Roadkill." On their feet are platform sneakers stacked tall enough to conflict with Leona Helmsley's air rights. And where there's a spare fold of skin, you'll find a piercing.

After examining the fashion choices of a few of your daughter's peers, it should come as no surprise that she wants to put a hole in her head. It's just part of the job description of a teenager; asserting independence and unwillingness to conform (by wearing the same exact parentally unacceptable clothes as thousands of other teenagers). Since you pay the bills at Hotel Mom, you're within your rights to set rules by which all living under your roof must abide. However, you should reconsider forbidding your daughter from getting the eyebrow ring "because I'm the mom." This sets you up as your daughter's dictatorial adversary, and may inspire her to find other, more displeasing ways to rebel. Worse yet, it may cause her to avoid coming to you when serious issues are troubling her.

It's best that you sit down and discuss the issue with her, adult to adult Listen with respect when she tells you how she feels. Instead of telling her that you "just don't like it" give valid reasons for your opposition. Explain that many employers are conservative, and may be prejudiced against hiring people who dress as if they spend most of their waking hours at rave parties. Ask her to take an informal poll of adult friends and relatives who own businesses to see how they feel about hiring someone with an eyebrow ring. Hard as it may be, if, after you discuss the issue, she still wants to get it, let her As much as you'd like to guide your near-adult children, it's important to let them make their own mistakes and deal with the consequences.

It helps them learn to take responsibility for their actions. As a compromise that might work for both of you, suggest that she get a hidden area like her bellybutton pierced, or that she opt for a "temporary" piercing, which mimics the look of piercing without leaving permanent holes. Unfortunately, due to the laws of gravity, temporary eyebrow rings are not available. But the alternatives are temporary nose rings (which pinch on) and temporary mouth piercings (which utilize magnets to stay put). You'll find them and a bunch of teenagers with a lot of places on their body from which to hang spare keys in stores and stands along St Marks Place.

Got a Problem? Write Amy Alkon, 450 XV. 33d New York, NY 10001; or E-mail AmyAlkxmdaaol.corn 0 1998, Amy Alkon, tH rtgrrte reserved I )r 0 (J I from left, Susan Sarandon, Winona Ryder, OWNER'S MANUAL: Backstage at "The Vagina Monologues" Glenn Close, playwright Eve Ensler and Whoopi Goldberg. "tO 00.