The San Bernardino County Sun from San Bernardino, California • Page 21

SAN BERNARDINO DAILY SUN, SUNDAY, JANUARY 9, 1938 Emily Post Replies to Distress Calls of Husbands By EMILY POST In an accumulation of S.O.S. calls from husbands, I am selecting the two situations which ara most typical. The first is about how they can escape Irksome predicaments into which they are forced by their hospitably inclined wives. The second is in protest against the social ambitions of their wives to change the plain old-fashioned order of their homes into something "newfangled and misfit." The first letter says: "When my wife lets the neighbors in to play a rubber of bridge, how can I get them to go home? If I can't do this, then how can I leave them without a fourth, and go to bed when I know I have an important business engagement the next morning for which I need all the wits I've got?" In answer to this, I had always thought that the solution was merely to make it a family rule to go out, or to have people in, only on Saturday evenings, or an evening preceding a holiday, But another of the letters upsets this answer by telling me: "We give our real parties on Saturday evenings and we seldom go out to parties except on that evening, too. But my wife seems to havo a sad collection of friends who always are telling her how lonely they are and therefore manage to persuade her to let me come over to play just one rubber which always stretches out to three or four or more." So in answer to this writer let me suggest: instead of sitting down to play in the blind trust that the evening will end after one rubber or at most, two why can't you insist upon calling up another person to make the fourth, and play perhaps until the fourth arrives? But refuse to begin to play unless that fourth is certainly coming.

Or, if those who come in are intimate friends, why can't you say frankly and firmly, "I'll be glad to play, but as I've got to get to bed early, I've set this alarm clock for ten o'clock. When it goes off I'm going to leave you at the end of that rubber" and leave, I know of one man who does this always, and know how successful this practice is. In fact, it seems to give him a sort of added prestige something almost akin to "glamour." Moreover, other hardworking men are willing to go to his house when they won't go anywhere else. And now, the second letter: "Six months ago some new people moved to our town. They have all the earmarks of the fashionable world.

They have bought the biggest place here and they have such a lot of servants, we don't know what use any one could put them to. But the point I want to make clear is that they do not put on any airs. They are the simplest most straightforward people to be imagined. But their effect upon us, who were simple people (using the word simple in the sense of plain), has been, from my standpoint, ruination to all of us. Let me give you a picture of this situation if I can.

I shall say that our name Is Brown; the name of the new people is Vernon. Now, again, don't misunderstand me, the Vernons are real people, perfectly natural in their own more grand setting. They have made a beautiful home out of a house that was known as Old Smith's Folly. They have turned it into just the kind of home that anybody would like to have who had the money and the taste to fix it up. "We, the Browns, and the Joneses and the Robinsons are alsfl real people perfectly natural In our much less grand settings.

And the question I want to ask is this: Why should we have to change our mode of life In order to match that of the Vernons? I am sure they wouldn't want us to; I'm sure they haven't an idea that they have made any change in the neighborhood. "But this is what happened. When we are expecting the Vernons for dinner, the entire running of our house is switched off its tracks. For example, the wife tells me the Ver nons are coming for dinner. 'Fine, I say and mean it.

But then I am told I must dress myself up in my newly-bought dinner coat. I feel uncomfortable in a dinner coat; I don't like a high, stiff collar. Then I'm told that Judy and Bunny, our children, can not have dinner with us because 'children are not prop erly included at a dinner At dinner is the only time I see very much of them, "And here is something else, can remember the day when I had the house wired for electricity because my wife complained of the bad light, But now because the Vernons have candlelight, I must struggle with the carving of the roast in the fllckery gloom (Vernon doesn't carve.) "It is all right to live the way the Vernons do if you happen to be Vernons, but it my opinion that there are still too many Browns turning themselves into imitation Vernons instead of choosing to be genuine Browns." In answer to this appealingly hu man letter, I agree with Mr. Brown on practically every point. The one danger of Mrs.

Brown is that she may lose the quality of simplicity and genuir that shines between even' Vi Brown's letter, if v. in copying the '1 i at nov 7 tern, it mem lack iwtf make the Vm i may fall be llying to which nd does well, that she is rtly. To at- at the mo-. of her ent, is to i vision on Scenes in 1" coalmine. JT 11 Ji i I I t- 2to i I aAtet- WWAMr to Cleveland.

homback riding. Writing her dally column, ll 1 filmW'' i wlS sLJf A franklin- d. -ifrrg VL' a BeKar MoITn- A LJSaS Wj II ROOSEVELT friend in Wash- tai WWL jS Ington. AFFAIRS OF THE HEART DEAR MISS HATFIELD: No doubt you will say to me: "Make the best of things as they are and all will work out in the end." But here's my story and I hope for something better than a sedative. It began when we were kids.

Puppy love they called it but it has grown and flourished and to this day I can think of only one girl, although she is happily mar ried to another man and is the mother of a little daughter. I have tried to be diverted with other girls but there's something lacking with each of them and always. I drop back in memory to my first love. Now I am twenty-three, have a good position with prospects and I want a wife, a home; I am not satisfied with my life as it is. Fur ther complications have arisen in that my mother has become partially dependent upon me and as time goes on will probably be com pletely dependent on me.

I love her more than anything in the world and can't bear to think of her wanting for anything; so in addition to being disinterested in girls I don't feel free to fall in love. Do you think it my duty to forego love and marriage and devote my life to my mother? A MISERABLE YOUNG MAN. ANSWER: You don't need a sedative, young man, but a good shot in the arm and here it Is. Snap out of that blue mood tinged with self-pity. Oive yourself a sock in the jaw that will bring you out of depression.

Don't think you can sit still and moon over your misery, waiting for the break to come. Sitters and waiters don't get the breaks, poets to the contrary. Resignation may be a virtue for old age, but it is a crime for youth to indulge in it. Bear down on your business and try to realize on those bright prospects which are in the offing. Talk over your yearnings with your mother, who is, no doubt, a comparatively young woman, hale and hearty, and able to help herself.

If she's a good mother she won't per mit you to sacrifice your normal desire for a wife, a home and a fami ly. With this much settled you can lay yourself liable for matrimony. Here again you will have to make your own break; for nothing but a new love will push out the pain of a lost love. Shop around among the girls until you find one who is anxious to console you, divert you and make you forget that there ever the Life of Mrs. Roosevelt, Most was another but her.

There's an aura of sad mystery about a man with a cracked heart that teases a girl to fever pitch. Let her scent a love disappointment in your life and she goes after it as a beagle hound after a rabbit. There's drama that delights her girlish heart and she wants to get right in the middle of it. It is barely possible that you are one in a million who can never know again the full ecstasy of your first love. What's more likely: you will tumble for number two; marry her and live happily ever after ward; live to smile indulgently at your youthful disappointment.

CAROLINE CHATFIELD. DEAR MISS CHATFIELD: Don't you think at 38 a woman should give up the Prince Charming idea altogether? If Mr. Right Man hasn't come along by that time don't you think she should turn her interests in other directions? My friends say, "Just be patient, he'll come along one of these days." Those words sound all right to ears age 25 but to one nearing 40 with an aged parent to support they sound like mockery. I have studied charm and personality building. I like people, so it isn't hard for me to be friendly with them, including the opposite sex, yet I must admit I have practically given up hope.

I want to lead a useful life and bring some joy and gladness to others as well as myself. I will appreciate suggestions from you on good substitutes for husband and children. HOPELESS. ANSWER: Don't give up hope, sister, it will take all the life out of you. There will be no sparkle in your eye, no spring in your step, no laughter on your lips if you give up.

But this advice doesn't mean that you can sit still and realize your hopes. You must put yourself into the stream of life if you are to meet eligible men, paddle your canoe as though you were going somewhere and losing no time in getting there. The men aren't going to barge up and beg you to take notice of them, yet who knows but you will some day have a collision with one who can be brought to terms. A woman in her late thirties is in the prime of life. At this age she has much more to offer Mr.

Right Man than she had at twenty or thirty. Her mind and judgment are maturing. She hasn't let go ithe dreamt of youth but she has learned to live in reality. She's less greedy personal happiness and more concerned with making others happy, She has learned that dollars don't grow on trees and if in addition to supporting herself she has had a dependent parent on her hands she appreciates the problems of the money-getter and the bacon buyer. Consequently a woman nearing 40 is the safest bet for a widower with children to rear.

She's a grand gamble for the bachelor of middle age who's beginning to question the blessedness of his single estate. In fact she's the best answer to the prayer of any sensible man who's looking for a homemaker and fire side companion. In case you don't have the col lision with Mr. Right Man, there are plenty of substitutes for husband, and children of your own. First, there's work the best antidote for pain, the surest cure for loneliness, the greatest compensation for disappointment.

Bear down on the job and work for the love of it as well as for the pay of it. Then share the profits. A woman who has useful employ ment, some sort of a home where a dependent loved one waits for her (a dog, car or canary will do in a pinch) a few outside friends, among them a niece, nephew or child of a neighbor, that woman need never feel that life has shortchanged her, even though romance has passed her by. So I don't think a woman at 38 should give up the Prince Charm ing idea but I do think she should plug in on some other interests in case the idea doesn't take shape. CAROLINE CHATFIELD.

Problems of general interest submitted by readers will be discussed in this column. Letters unsuitable for publication will be answered personally, pro vided they contain stamped, seir-ad-dressed envelopes. All names are held in confidence. Write Miss Chatfield, in care of this newspaper. Bodyguards Taken From Ruth Etting (By United Press) HOLLYWOOD, Jan.

8. Ruth Etting, the blues singer, no longer has a bodyguard to protect her from "threats" she said she had received over the telephone. District Attorney Buron Fitts disclosed todav that he has with drawn the two guards he assigned at the singer's request late Wednes day. Miss Etting appeared at Fitts' office with a story that Moe Snyder, whom she recently divorced, had threatened her in a long-distance telephone conversation. Fitts gave her two guards, one for the day and one for night.

LITERARY CUIDEPOST By JOHN SELBY "YOUR A and some other DOOKS Most tax books are rather ab struse. William J. Shultz has written a number of these; now he has reformed, and in "Your Taxes" (Doubleday; $2) he seems to be trying to put himself on an under standable basis. He succeeds, but unfortunately he does not arrive at a conclusion. This is preferable to arriving at an unworkable conclusion of course, and Dr.

Shultz intimates that nobody, not even taxation experts, know the answer. What one gets from "Your Taxes" is a breakdown of taxation through the various agencies and governments, and an idea of tax possibilities. For example, Dr. Shultz seems to believe that a millionaire could legally be taxed 99.999 per cent on his income above a living allowance. The stoiy of our involved tax structure is fascinating when you can understand it, and "Your Taxes" is as easy to read as one could ask.

After this gentle sortie into financial realm (always vague and unfamiliar to this reader) we found relaxation in a light novel or two. One was Leslie Ford's excellent mystery, "The Simple Way of Poison" (Farrar Rinehart; $2). This has a group of characters who seem psychologically credible, It has suspense, and it has a touch of humor. The life of the ballet Is the background for "A Bullet in the Ballet," by Caryl Brahms and J. Simon (Crime Club; $2).

The story is per fectly incredible and the atmos phere is very much overdone. Brahms and Simon may feel that a ballet company would be indifferent to a series of murders in their midst, but the writers have not proved it. Nevertheless, the background is fresh, and that is something. Carter Dickson's 'The Judas Window" (Morrow; $2) is another mystery in which the dire deed is done In a room bolted and barri caded on the inside. Although it Is a standard mystery novel with a grumpy and close-to-standard de tective and all the usual appurte nances, it is capable of making an effect.

Or perhaps it was Just that Your Taxes got us down "RED STAR OVER CHINA," by Edgar Snow; (Random! 93). It would be unfair not to tell prospective readeri of Edgar Active "First Lady" in Snow's "Red Star Over China" where Mr. Snow's sympathies lie, and no better words can be found than Mr. Snow's: "The movement for locial revolution in China may suffer defeats, may temporarily retreat, may for a time seem to languish, may make wide changes in tactics to fit immediate necessities and aims, may even for a period be submerged, be forced underground, but it will not only continue to mature; in one mutation or another it will eventually win, simply because (as this book proves, if it proves any thing) the basic conditions which have given it birth carry within themselves the dynamic necessity for its triumph. And that triumph, when it comes, will be so mighty, so irresistible in its discharge of catabollc energy, that it will con sign to oblivion the last barbarities if imperialism which now enthrall the Eastern world." This is a fair specimen of Mr.

Snow's thipking, although the sentences are longer and more loose-jointed than he usually writes. What he says, in effect, is that the Chinese communists are using ordinary political tactics to attain for themselves the result ordinary politicians try for victory for their side. Mr. Snow went Into Red China to meet Red leaders. He has written a very fine exposition of their philosophy and manner of life.

He says he is the only person to have gone in and to have come out to write; among other things he brings back a somewhat different version of the kidnaping of Chiang Kai-shek. He found interesting things In the Red schools, in the theater which they control, In the faces of the children. With the curious blindness which attacks a certain type of writer he seems to find the copious release of human blood less reprehensible on the Red side than on the Chinese side this blind spot afflicts the Nanking forces in China as well. Fi nally, he leads up to the present war in rather uncanny fashion, considering the fact that his book was written before it began. One hopes his prophecies for the future may not be quite so exact.

Quebec 'Red Squad' Raids Jewish Circle MONTREAL, Jan. 8. (Canadian Press) The "Red squad" of Quebec provincial police has seized 800 books In a raid on the headquarters of the Canadian Labor Circle, it was disclosed today. Officers of the association de scribe the organization as the "largest non political Jewish organisation in Canada." STAMPS AND THEIR MAKERS Last week thii column attempted to review briefly a few of the out standing issues of 1937. Words of appreciation, particularly from newer collectors, lead us to specu late a bit on the 1938 stamp situ ation.

As both 1935 and 1937 were dom inated by the British colonials, it is a safe prediction the same condition will hold good in 1938. Aside from the coronations and a few domin ion Issues, the George VI stamps have been delayed for 1938. Prob ably more than half of the crown colonies will appear with new de signs during the next few months. Most of the new colonials will be of the popular pictorial varieties, the king's head appearing in a vignette somewhat after the later George pictorials or the Newfoundland coronations (one of which is illustrated). There are various all Hvt 1 rnv i i reasons for the change to pictorials The trend started with the begin ning of the present decade and is presumed to have been halped along by Insistent philatelic demand.

Such demand finally made itself felt with the Crown Agents who produce the colonials. It is significant that of a dozen or more colonies for which new issues have been announced not one has been noted as a "key plate" type. It is said that Southern Rhodesia has an issue already in use. New foundland is said to be using its "regular issue" since Jan. 1 and will substitute the royal family por traits with those of the new family.

Presumably the substitution will bring the new king on one value in the stead of his father. The Queen Mary value may be retained but in all probability that of Edward VIII will remain obsolete. Whether Princess Elizabeth returns to use Is a question of Interest to the colonial collector for the six-cent blue has jumped rapidly in price and might suffer a setback were it reissued in form not greatly altered. The conorationi became obsolete Deo. 3L To date there1 hai been History little rise in thla value, Thii mav come during 1938 or again stock may be so large that the issues will show little advance.

The contrast with the jubilee of two yean earlier WW WW. 9 WM MM l.M.M, Is marked. Some of the jubileea sell at far above earlier An illustration is the Southweit Africa set, those of Mauritius, Nyaiialand, South Africa, and Gilbert Nearer home Mr. Farley hhu bent on interrupting his frequent commemorative issuei to ehanf the regular issue designi. Then will come out at Intervals.

The fate of the Indian commemorative issue, io dear to Secretary Ickei, hai not been announced of late. New airmail values may be expected in connection with the regular stamps. The old 10, 15 and 20-cent itampi are used but little as they do not fit in with the 6-cent per ounce rate domestically and the higher clippers carry the "transpacific" Inscription which most certainly Is not fitted to the 1938 Atlantic flights. Substitution of a 25-cent special deliver for the 20-cent ii also possible. It would be interesting but hardly possible to spend S3 evenings in the homes of ai many advanced collectors and stamp experts, listening to each one talk fondly and enthusiastically on his specialty.

Foster W. Loso, a New Jersey collector and educator, has done the next best thing gathered a symposium and called It "The Stamp Round Table." Stimulating Is probably the word for thii book. It luggenU so many approaches to philately, many wayi to collect, io many fildi to explore, so much lore to be ii'oiiiitt-iiir" I.