Daily News from New York, New York • 1184

rVkH i mx ks.s aacsiaai sib ik watra "S3 Apple Sauce 'illfSinV l.Si ujjwij j. fUJfjJIJVY: -I vi V-. tm Ta? IIP J. II Ji it! rr i i Ellasoa bads en tho pofifical cfrcofi, boznd 2nd abroad The real reason Mikhail Gorbachev is in New York? "He's looking for a good doctor," says comic Jackie Mason, who will roast the former Soviet leader at a benefit for Yeshiva University tonight. "All the Jews left the Soviet Union once they got freedom; and we know that most doctors are Jewish, except maybe the chiropodists.

Most lawyers are Jewish too, and if your doctor screws up you need a good lawyer for the malpractice case. So that's why he's here." But seriously, folks, Mason told Sauce that he has a lot of respect for Gorbachev. "Look how much he did for our country," Mason said. "He cut our whole defense budget in half. American politicians couldn't do that." Mason is returning to the local political scene after his less-than-successful efforts on behalf of Rudy Giuliani's mayoral bid in 1989.

On Monday he will speak at a fund-raiser for Brooklyn Assemblyman Dov Hikind. A curious crowd is expected at the event. Hikind is a Democrat. But a political mix including Republican Sen. Alfonse D'Amato, Democratic Sen.

Joseph Ueberman of Connecticut, City Council President Andrew Stein and Reps. Stephen Solarz (D-Brooklyn), Charles Schumer (D-Brook-lyn) and Susan Molinarl (R-Staten Island) will be on hand. tf we were Mad magasne mascot Alfred E. Neuman'd worry. Neuntan, long considered a distinguished presence in the magazine industry, win ba compared to two mere poiitidans on tlie cover of rival rags next month.

Esquire compares Neuman to President Bush, Texas Monthly says he hs3 a lot in common with Ross Perot Neuman insists he's his own man. More important, he's not running for office this time around. tee yesterday that he "listened to the message God sent" when he had a coronary in 1985. Now he's eating his veggies and, though he'll soon be 65, he can still play singles for two hours. Perhaps he should save a little energy for the city's Latino com- munity.

Our Ellen Tumposky reports that the Institute for Puerto Rican Policy Studies sent Dinkins a letter complaining about his failure to appoint a Hispanic to the Municipal Assistance Corp. Latinos have been excluded from the powerhouse financial board since its inception in 1975. W1TFIESSES GO WEST The federar witness protection program goes one way: West So says Bob Sabbag, author of 'Too Tough to Die," a history of the U.S. marshals published by fttxess Jack Palance was due in town last week to discuss a book proposal with some of New York's top publishers. He's writing a physical fitness guide, with an introduction by Billy Crystal, playing off his one-hand pushups at the Academy Awards ceremony.

But Palance postponed the trip. Carol Books honcho Steve Sch regis told us he received a message saying "Jack isn't feeling well" not the type of news you want to hear from a potential fitness expert. The illness isn't serious, and Palance and Schragis plan to reschedule. 1:1 szniTS Inquiring senators just had to know, so Mayor DSnklns yester- day told them his secret to win- ning tennis God Is on his' side of the net. The mayor told a Senate appropriations subcommit-" Simon and Schuster.

New York witnesses always wind up in America's heartland or on The Other Coast. West Coast witnesses are never relocated in New York, Sabbag told us. SSLBfCE the way? Good news possibly for West Side residents bothered by the whistling Cityspire Buildings Sauce hears that the W. 56th St. building's board of managers told City Councilwoman Ronnie Q-dridge's office that the problem may be fixed in four to eight weeks.

The building emits a long, low( extremely annoying whistle when the wind hits it. No details are available just yet on whether they'll patch the holes in the Cityspire dome or just put a Hefty bag over the whole We'll keep you posted. With BARBARA UPPMAN f7s ffs Ivana Trump will maka an appearance Friday at the Fcxwoods Casino on the Pequot Indian reserva-s t5cn in Ledyardt Conn.t to hype her new novel, re- vi i i. ports our Dnice Chadwick. ivana used to be presl-f dent of Trump Castle Casino In Atteniic City.

V', Foxvvoods President Al tuciani used to run Resorts International cr.Trcnsp civs! Mer Cr Sfln. lnvte htzna to stick It to Donald Cr is there grea i ivaxaimtBp intre-tinsoeletyflctjon on the.