The Ottawa Citizen from Ottawa, Ontario, Canada • 21

July 21, 1972 Page 21 i Old stories never die, they just grow longer I'VE TOLD YCR BEFORE -LAi OFF 1 U1 I i Mcrshiir.urcD i i The Ottawa Citizen O'VER OUR I I ANOTHER 1 DON'T FRET ANtSY, I CAM) ALWAYS BE A StSTERK (j1 Vg-WHAT P'VER SAM?) with things" is $1,000 richer today after receiving a special bonus award from the city. The award was made following tests on a new kind of asphalt invented by Mr. Boma after twelve years of patient experimentation in the basement of his modest home in Ottawa's East end. Mr. Boma, who said he "got the idea from a TV commercial" was reluctant to reveal details of his new asphalt, but did say the secret was "a mixture of thousands of tiny time capsules blended into a regular asphalt base." A spokesman for the city's roads department, who termed the invention "the breakthrough we've been waiting for" said the new material would save a vast amount of labor.

"Now we can put a new surface on, say, O'Connor Street on Wednesday and by Friday the time capsules will go into action, and the surface will automatically break up so that our sewer maintenance crews or the gas company people or the telephone men won't have any trouble digging through to get to their pipes and things." Mr. Boma has no particular plans for retiring on the $1,000. "I'll just keep on working and tinkering," he said. And finally Well, so long. declared themselves "entirely willing" to approve the Dasken apartment demolition order as soon as Renee Joyal Brossard, former president of the Tache Gardens Home Owners Association, complies with all normal municipal requirements in such cases.

"She has only to make out 75 copies of all correspondence pertaining to the Dasken misunderstanding, and we'll waste no time signing the order," said one official. "Of course, she must understand it is normal procedure to require that all copies be written on papyrus in ink made from powdered unicorn horns," he added. Perfectly clear OTTAWA (CP) "Utmost confidence" that the city's public beaches will be free of pollution "within a few days" was expressed by city hall officials at a press conference Tuesday. According to a city hall spokesman the special squads currently working at clearing up the beaches are well ahead of schedule. "They should be finished by the weekend," said the spokesman, "and all indications are the beaches will be perfectly clear by that time.

Then all we shall have to worry about is the damn water." Tinkering. OTTAWA (CP) Thomas Arthur Boma, a city hall filing clerk who "likes to tinker around By Frank Penn Since I shan't be around for a while, this being the last column before this typewriter goes on a little vacation, I thought it might be a good idea to get a little ahead of the daily news. For instance, one item I confidently expect to see on the front page when I get back will probably go something like; REYKJAVIK (CP) The opening of the sixth world-championship chess game between U.S. challenger Eobby Fischer and Russian grandmaster Boris Spassky was delayed this morning as officials considered Fischer's re-auest that the entire Island of Iceland be moved to a new location 25 miles due south of its present position. Fischer had earlier agreed to modify his original demands that the level of the Atlantic Ocean be dropped by ten feet, and had settled for a sea level reduction of only 36 inches.

Meanwhile, fears that Spassky may have been abducted were dispelled when the Russian was discovered sitting alone in a small broom closet with a bucket over his head and repeating "anybody for a game of Scrabble?" in a high thin monotone. Ready and willing HULL P.Q. (AP) Hull municipal officials Machine beats summer doldrums must surely be the Bauers and the Norrises of Springfield, USA. McCOOK ON TELEVISION 4 i A 'J Those who have been otherwise occupied each afternoon over the past 35 years won't know that these i families are the central figures in CBS's The Guiding Light, a soap op-; era. On June 30, it celebrated its 20th TV anniversary.

Before that the scries played on radio for 15 years. The Guiding Light was created by Irna Phillips, who is author of two other soap operas, As the World Turns and Love is a Many Splendored Thing. That explains why these shows leave the inatten- tive viewer totally confused about what's happening to whom in which series. The three operas follow one another in slow, stately procession on the CBS network (and Channel i 7) each afternoon. Indeed, their moods and characters are so similar jf selected quality Values to $27.98 I Terrific value! y) I Values to $39.98 Another great buy (fil Get several at this By Sheila McCook If one is to believe all the reports, most of us are spending these hot nights partaking of the chess revival.

If Spassky and Fischer can do it, fashion arbiters decreed, then so can the rest of us, only not so well. Shyly in the background hover the remaining few who find the exercise of picking up a knight and removing it to another square too hectic to contemplate amid the twin oppressions of heat and humidity. It's strenuous enough turning the TV dial. There wasn't much dialing to be done last night; with one month of summer down, two more to go, the season's doldrums have already affected the box so severely there's almost nothing to turn to anymore. There is one show In existence that prevents one from carting the TV set to the second hand store in exchange for a chess set, and that is the Marty Feldman Comedy Machine.

It made itself very welcome on arrival at CJOH last week, and, if anything, the second show last night surpassed the first. The machine is a delight, not only because of Marty Feldman and Spike Milli-gan's crazed comedy routines, but also because of the music and dancing breaks. On most comedy shows, these iterludes are mere necessities to be endured while the clowns change costumes. rj low low price: fifi SKI PANTS op A I 'xS5 Re9- $21.98 Perhaps that's how most people want their information, but there's a curiously empty feeling that comes out of such a show. The main impression is that Quality of Life is chic television and that's about it An upcoming Installment, on August 3, will deal with crowd apathy.

For the show, a heart attack and a purse snatching were staged in busy downtown Toronto streets. Hidden cameras caught bystanders' reactions. These people were later interviewed. The most notorious case of bystander apathy, during the murder of Kitty Genovese in New York City, is being restaged as well. It won't be one of your really fun shows.

35 years of detail The most thoroughly documented familes in the history of all fiction Taken as a whole, the Feldman show is the best gift television has given us this summer. Slick medicine Spike Milligan called for a saw and a death certificate in his evil little operating room skits on the comedy show. Minutes later, CJOH had moved on to the actual operating room activities of a cosmetic surgeon. This latter form of medicine was the subject of CTV's Quality of Life last night. Like its sister network program in the regular season, Here Come the Seventies, Quality makes its way by being slick and contemporary.

There is a stream of information, but not enough to get your teeth into; there is fact, but not reflection. By the end of an episode, not much has been learned though the surface of yet another subject has been glided over. the trio could be said to flow into one another. And that's how all the confusion begins. The Cocks, a searing documentary about the mutilated children of Vietnam, makes a very strong impression.

French filmmaker Pierre Gaisseau did it for the co-producers, the CBC and Children's Medical Relief International. The Gooks was shown twice on CBC in the I past year and then was bought by NBC. Recently, CBC sold it to Sver-iges Radio (Swedish Broadcasting Corporation.) I U'Special Selection 4 mj jPM I Beautiful Quality SS I Art Buchwald cGovern Tapes reveal all date two candidates who may not set the world on fire like the Nixons do, but at least have substance." The rest of the tape is blurred. The bugging also revealed that the McGovern people plan to make the big issue of the campaign non-union lettuce. They're going to claim Agnew has eaten 3,456 salads at fund-raising dinners since he's been vice-president and not one of the leaves had a union label on it.

There were some serious brainstorming sessions on how McGovern was going to end the war in Vietnam. The plan is to announce just before November that if the Democrats are elected to the White House the president will promote Colonel Harlan Sanders of Kentucky Fried Chicken fame to general and put him in charge of the withdrawal of all American troops. The tapes also revealed it was no accident that McGovern and Eagleton made their acceptance speeches in Miami Beach at 3 o'clock in the morning. This was part of McGovern strategy to put a coalition of minorities together to win the election. The only minority McGovern hadn't won over to his side were people who can't sleep at night.

By going on all three networks at 3 o'clock Friday morning the McGovern forces sewed up the insomniac vote. Nobody else ever paid any attention to insomniacs before and they could easily swing the election. I Now selling far below our cost! Save as much as 60. VL. i I Some as i ly low os A-ff I ALL FAMOUS tVfhW Jf BRAND NAME I i 1 1 MERCHANDISE (JjW j'f 1 At these sacrifice IV Z'H I I 1 1 NO REFUNDS A II Ik I NO EXCHANGES Jj jm '1.

ALL SALES FINAL OO TOP SECRET Memo to White House From Miami, Florida I bugged the McGovern headquarters as per your instructions. Sorry for tardiness of transcript of tapes, but they were typed by Cuban refugees who planned Bay of Pigs operation. Here in a nutshell is what we found out by listening in to his Doral Hotel suite: Despite denials, McGovern is still a stalking horse for Teddy Kennedy. The plan is for McGovern to campaign until November. Then, if he wins the election, he will ask Kennedy to be sworn in as president in his place.

The McGovern strategists figure this is the Ex-cadet convicted on hashish charge only way Kennedy will accept the presidency in 1972. In exchange for bowing out as president, McGovern is going to be rewarded by being made secretary of agriculture. This will help him with his electorate in South Dakota. The Kennedy people have agreed to this in principle. The tapes also indicate that the reason the McGovern strategists selected Tom Eagleton as the vice presidential candidate is that the American people are ready for a calm administration after the excitement of Nixon's last four years.

They feel the people will buy the steady plodding manner of McGovern and Eagleton after living with th swinging, glamorous Nixons. This is a direct quote, from the tapes by Mc-Govern's top advisers: "The people are fed up with style. We have to admit Nixon has charisma, but Americans want something more." "Right. They're tired of reading about those wild bowling parties at Camp David and those raucous prayer breakfasts at the White House." "You can say that again. They're sick of all the stories about Pat Nixon's clothes and her hairdresser." "Not to mention David and Julie's highjinks in the navy." "Let's offer them a candi By Gene Fawcetf SfiATlAL SUflQEtrf SOME SURGEONS NOW HAVE A LOT IN COMMON WITH THE ASTRONAUTS BOTH WEAR HELM ETS.

THE TRANSPARENT BUBBLES WORN BY THE DOCTORS REDUCE RISK OF and colors i SPORTSWEAR A HSPk. tav Blouses, skirts, hot pants, mmi I 3v sweaters, and many others jS ffilflf llfli I I if I THE fflilOllMiilll LADIES' PPufMMTO SH0FS INFECTION AS AIR IS PRAWN IN ATTHE TOP AND OUT- THROUGH SUCTION Under an order for absolute discharge, a defendant stands convicted but receives no fine, probation or jadterm. McDonald, a former cadet squadron leader, final-year honors student and captain of the RMC football team, was one of six cadets charged with drug offences after a raid by the Royal Canadian Mounted Police May 2 on the RMC campus. Civilian Counsel Four pleaded guilty and were fined under the National Defence Act at a military trial. A fifth was acquitted.

McDonald waived the KINGSTON (CP) A 21-year old former cadet at Royal Military College, who successfully fought to have his case taken from a military court to a civilian court, was convicted Thursday on a charge of possession of hashish. Sentence was postponed for one week when provincial court Judge George F. Runciman said he aanted "to look into the mechanics of new legislation which would allow an order for absolute discharge." This was the course suggested by counsel for the cadet, Martin McDonald of Calgary, and agreed to by the Crown prosecutor. right to military counsel and engaged a civilian lawyer, John Hogan of Kingston. When the case opened before a military court, Mr.

Hogan protested what he termed the appearance of bias on the part of the court and had the case transferred to a provincial court. Evidence was presented June 29 with a decision reserved until Thursday. McDonald, now a geophys-icist in the petroleum industry in Calgary, was denied the right to graduate from RMC. He also was prevented from accepting from his football team-mates the Most Valuable Player award. Iks! BANK STREET AT GLOUCESTER TELEPHONE HEADSETS PERMIT CONSTANT COMMUNI CATION BETWEEN ML THE Open till 9 p.m.

Fri. Closed on Mondays License No. 5053 PERSONNEL WHLEM7HE OPERATING.