The San Francisco Examiner from San Francisco, California • 35

SAN FRANCISCO EXAMINER Wednesday, June 5, 1996 C-7 L)iving Pluggers been sensing that It's hard to get really turned on when you think the other person isn't all that interested in the sex you're having together. What's lingering in my mind is whether your wife really enjoyed the sex. Rather than waiting for the evolution of vaginas with tongues, try using your tongue in a different way. Talk with your wife and really ask her if the sexual relationship could be improved if it changed dramatically on your part As things stand now, I suspect you both have unconsciously relied on the Paxil to save face with each other. You have a reason why it doesn't work anymore and she has a reason to not do it anymore.

Talk to her, though usually the ability to get an erection is not affected. Crenshaw and Goldberg state that Paxil seems not to be as troublesome to women's orgasms: I couldn't locate research that reported an experience similar to yours that was strictly related to having taken the medication and then having stopped. What does happen for some people is a psychological adaptation to the physical undermining by a medication. In other words, they get used to the difficulty they're having under the influence of the medication and stay that way even when they're no longer taking the medication. I don't know with certainty that you're having that exact reaction, but I have a hunch that it's true based on one thing your letter mentions.

You are able to reach orgasm by masturbation, which suggests that given the right amount of pressure and friction, your body works. But you also need the right environment Based on your reports of your wife's comments (this being an effect of age and that you should accept it), it doesn't sound like the environment for arousal is optimal. When you're by yourself, you only have you to think about; when you're with her, you probably have a few extra emotional hurdles to climb over on your way to orgasm. You speculated that she may have had these unenthused feelings for some time. I imagine you've She also says she isn't much interested in sex anymore.

Maybe she has had these feelings for some time or has lost interest because of my stumbling performance. My psychiatrist who prescribed the Paxil had never heard of failure to recover sexual activity after medication was stopped It's hard to believe that this effect is unknown in the profession if I only had to read the newspaper to find another case like mine. By the way, I have read that many women can reach orgasm during intercourse only if they simultaneously masturbate. In my present condition I wish I could do that. I find oral stimulation excruciatingly enjoyable! Maybe vaginas will some day evolve with a tongue! Paxil (paroxetine), frequently prescribed for depression, can cause orgasm andor ejaculation to be delayed or not to occur.

According to studies cited in "Sexual Pharmacology" by Theresa Crenshaw and James Goldberg (W. W. Norton and 1996) between 13 percent and 50 percent of men can experience these side effects. If more than 20 milligrams per day are taken, sexual side effects are more likely. Typically the recommended dose is 20 to 50 mg day, but Crenshaw and Goldberg state that even as little as 10 mg day may be effective to alleviate symptoms of depression.

Paxil can decrease the sensory buildup before orgasm for men, LOUANNE COLE, Ph.D. SEX IMS Stopping drug didn't give him back an orgasm I read about a man whose sex life did not return to normal after he stopped taking a blood pressure medicine that made him impotent. Two years ago, at age 70, I had the same experience after taking Paxil for two weeks. I am still crippled sexually now. I usually can get an erection sufficient for intercourse, but usually there is not enough sensation to achieve orgasm I have no trouble masturbating to ejaculation.

At first my wife was very sympathetic and wished she knew what she could do. I found oral stimulation gave me a jump-start and I could maintain a good erection. My wife has never liked oral sex but it didn't matter to me until now when I find it helpful But she won't do it again. She says my problem is an effect of age and I should accept it. Thanks 10 Scherer Lima, Ohio tPluggen: A 521 SW I SW 11th Ave.

Portland, OR. 97205 IT 11 A plugger on the information superhighway. "Exploring Men's Sexuality: From Erection to Oral Sex" is Louanne Cole's new audiocassette. It gives many specific tips about how men can get the most out of sex for themselves (and at the same time be a very good sexual partner). To order, send VisaMC data or a check for $14.98 (includes tax and postage) to Cole at the address below.

Cole is a board-certified sex therapist and licensed marriage and relationship counselor with an office in San Francisco. Send questions to: Sex Matters, Style, San Francisco Examiner, P.O. Box 7260, San Francisco, CA 94120 or you can e-mail to: lcolenetcom.com. 1996 Louanne Cole. ANN LANDERS Program removes inmates from, a lifetime in crime WONG from C-l Montreal Maoist who saw the light at the top of Canadian bestseller lists, and how she became such a starry-eyed Maoist "It was the time of protests and radicalism and questioning authority.

I thought we had real problems in the West. I hated the sexism and racism. I thought U.S. imperialism her in pigtails, garbed in a gray, revolutionary Mao suit. While numerous tales of mayhem and terror have been published about the Cultural Revolution, her book describes with humor and irony tales of a North' Korean panty thief who raided girls' dorm rooms, seeing lobbies of hotel rooms wallpapered with slogans and learning to wield a 60-pound pneumatic drill.

Her parents, who were born in Canada and spoke only English at home, were supportive of her decision to go to China and learn the language. When she became a hardline Maoist, "They just ignored it They thought I'd get over it" Get over it she did, but only slowly, after the hypocrisies of the Communist Utopia became impossible to ignore. The big turning point came when, after Mao's death in 1976, his widow Jiang Qing was arrested for heading the ultra-leftist Gang of Four. "People were so happy. They were setting off firecrackers and getting drunk in the streets.

I thought, wait, I thought she was good. Nobody told me they hated her guts. That was really the end. I thought I was such an idiot" Her disillusionment was personal as well as political. Although she went to China primarily as a Maoist, she also went as an ethnic Chinese, a third-generation Canadian, as she describes herself, in search of those proverbial roots.

What she found was that her identity was firmly planted in Canada, not China. "The more I learned about the language and the culture, the more I decided I'm not Chinese," she said. "I'm a Canadian. I'm a Westerner. I'm not a hyphenated Westerner.

What I look like is exactly what a Canadian looks like." After working a year as the New York Times' Beijing news assistant, she left China in 1980 and completed her journalism degree at Columbia University. For eight years, working as a banking reporter for the Boston Globe, the Wall Street Journal and other papers, her goal was to be sent back as a foreign correspondent Finally in 1988, after just a year at the Globe and Mail, she was chosen as the first ethnic Chinese and first woman to head the Beijing bureau. The second half of her memoir chronicles the era of greed and political repression under Deng Xiaoping. She gives a detailed account of what happened that bloody night on Tiananmen Square in 1989 and the subsequent weeks in Beijing when all the TV cameras had gone home. "Not many reporters made it clear even I didn't realize at the time but it was a 36-hour massacre.

That's how long it took the people to get in their heads their government was killing them." Now back at the Globe and Mail as a reporter-at-large, Wong still follows events in China but is not necessarily eager to return. She scoffs at writers who manage to churn out books on China after just a brief stay. "I think people who go for a short time don't really understand China," she said. "You have to live through a good purge." the program. People of all races and religions participate as church volunteers and board members.

The organization has the support of local judges, enforcement officers and the mayor. It is working. JA.J., Port Wayne, Ind. Dear JA.J.: Thank you for a letter that could change lives, save communities a great deal of money and restore dignity and a feeling of hope to thousands of ex-cons. If it works in Fort Wayne, it can work in hundreds of other cities in the United States and Canada.

I urge all civic-minded men and women to take this column to the next meeting of their Rotary Club, Kiwanis, Knights of Columbus, Lions, Masonic order, as well as churches and ask that this program be given serious consideration. It's a beauty. Dear Ann Landers: The next time you have occasion to contact Donald R. Nichols, director of public affairs at the U.S. Mint, will you please ask him this question: Considering the hundreds of hours wasted each day by employees of banks and other financial institutions rearranging currency bills so they all face the same way, why can't bills be designed like playing cards so they read the same from top to bottom as from bottom to top? D.H., Santa Barbara, Calif.

Dear D.H.: According to Larry Felix at the Bureau of Engraving and Printing, U.S. bills are designed to protect against counterfeiting. Any changes made are for security reasons only. 1996 Creators Syndicate Inc. was bad it was invading this small country.

China was supporting Hanoi, so I thought they were the good guys." Even her professors at McGill University were telling her that China was creating "a new man that there was no such thing as human nature and people could be made to be selfless." She ate it all up and in 1972 she and an American student became the first Westerners allowed to study in China after the Cultural Revolution, the tumultuous decade of political and social upheaval that Mao unleashed in 1966. When Wong arrived, most of DEAR ANN LANDERS: In a recent column, you said, "Many prisons are 'graduate schools' where neophytes learn the real tricks of the trade. I welcome suggestions on what can be done to cure this insidious and costly problem." I have a suggestion that has been proven to work in Fort Wayne, based on statistics. An organization called "One Church-One Offender," originatec by Rev. Clyde Adams, identifies non-violent, one-time offenders who have served their sentence and are on parole or under house arrest.

To be accepted into the program, the offender may not have been implicated in a crime that involved a handgun or other lethal weapon. Once identified, the individual is assigned to a five-member group affiliated with a local church. This group serves as a family, provides direction and encouragement, and helps the individual complete his education or locate a job. This enables the individual to become a respectable member of society and develop a sense of pride. I have witnessed complete turnarounds and heard individuals make testimonials at our annual dinners attesting to the help they received and how it changed their lives.

Many speakers become emotional when they relate how close they came to becoming just another statistic. Think of the difference! Five individuals helping you get on track vs. being one in 100 assigned to a probation officer. It's not hard to see why it works. The proof is in the statistics.

The Allen County Jail in Fort Wayne reports a recidivism rate of 50 percent of the inmates, while the rate for One Church-One Offender is 15 percent. It is estimated that this program saves the community $600,000 annually. Currently, 28 churches are involved in the violence and terror had ended, Universal gets Colby 'SpycrafY game but thought control was still pervasive. The naive Canadian was unaware of it. The school she attended gave VARIETY the two foreigners special privi leges, including a typist to prepare tral Intelligence Agency from 1973 to 1976, drowned in May after apparently suffering a stroke or heart attack while sailing his canoe.

Kalugin, a former major general in the KGB, oversaw Soviet spies in the United States for 12 years before breaking with the KGB in 1990. The movie project will be developed by Universal-based Lawrence Gordon Productions, which also acquired TV and certain ancillary rights from Activision. their vocabulary lists and their own cook who made hamburgers and apple pie. But they fought to be THEQUIGMANS by Buddy Hickerson ed States president after the Russian premier is killed. The game hit the streets March 4.

According to PC Data, which tracks sales of CD-ROMs and video games, about 12,000 copies of the title had been sold by the end of April. The game's producer, Activi-sion, however, said it has shipped about 140,000 units worldwide. Colby, 76, who directed the Cen HOLLYWOOD Universal Pictures has acquired the feature film rights to a CD-ROM espionage game developed by late CIA Director William Colby and former KGB spy Oleg Kalugin, sources said. "Spycraffc The Great Game" is about a CIA agent who must prevent the assassination of the Unit part of the proletariat. They even begged school administrators to let them do manual labor like all the other students.

According to Mao, hard labor was "an inoculation against bourgeois thinking," she wrote. 2 Wong got her wish and was soon hauling pig manure and digging ditches with the best of them. Yesterday's Cryptoquip: IT'S MY OPINION THAT BASE SHEEP-RUSTLERS ARE USUALLY ONTHE LAMB. "It was like playing at revolu tion," she said, laughing at the memory of herself chanting slogans and harvesting rice. Although SNH OBXJHGHX DL KGH PKQ ENK BWEBQL BUHXL SNBS LHHJDGO DL PHWDHUDGO.

Today's Cryptoquip clue: equals the petite 43-year-old now sports The Cryptoquip Is a substitution cipher In which one letter stands for another. If you think that equals it will equal throughout the puzzle. Single letters, short words and words using an apostrophe give you clues to locating vowels. Solution is by trial and error. 0 1 996 by King Features Syndicate, Inc.

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24 Italy's Gulf of 26 Let the baby fish beware? 30 You can believe it 31 Ready follower 32 Filet, maybe 36 Energy IT Horticulturist's box 41 Lend a hand 42 Otherwise 44 Japanese novelist Kobo 4SWan .47 Musical TV fish game? 51 Eared flask 54 Opole's river 55 Kind of nerve 56 Slandered 60 Fish's courting place? 63 Catch some Z's 64 Ohio or New York county 65 Martinique volcano 66 Commits a faux pas 6T Dupes 68 Eggs on 69 Security breach DOWN 1 Had to give it to? 2 Robin Cook best seller 3 In good condition 4 Thunder Bay locale 6 Kin of rugby 6 Stir up Some auction action Constellation ACROSS 1 Discordance 4 Recedes 8WJM-TV employee 12 Conceit 13 Swamp 14 Cruising 15 Pirate's potation 16 Casino pastime 18 lota follower 20 Acapulco uncle 21 Securities dealers of a sort 24 Topic for Freud 28 Skit ending 32 "I never Moor: Dickinson 33 "Awesomel" 34 Cobbler's supply 38 It'll get you moving 37 Oh, woe!" 39 "Mouse" 41 Florida city DOWN 1 Quick tug 2 0axaca water 3 Easy victory 4 Starts a Journey 5 Cartoonist Keane 6 Auto-front protector 7 Denomination 8 Lee of The Fall Guy" 9 Simile center 10 Fun 'n' games 11 Run up the phone bill 17 Josh 19 Soft shoe 22 tube 23 Defile 25 Rain-gutter site 26 Vacationing 27 Equine coif 28 Neighbor's kid? 29 Lyric with the star Regulus 0 Toymaker's assistant 10 Shorebirds 11 Not the social type 12 Squirrel's prize 13 Certain sculpture it Nimbus 21 Characteristic mark 24 Rain slightly 25 Tommy Dorsey's "Oh, Look Now" 26 Garment for Batman 27 Figure skating jump 28 Bigwigs 29 "Absinthe Drinker" artist 33 Site of the Koolau Range 34 Debt security 35 Novelist Ferber 38 Glittery fabric 39 Spy Rudolf 46 Pastry whose I Solution time: 28 mine. 6-5 PiubJ by Gayta Omni mimics 50 Go after an apple 51 Card game 52 Nitrogenous 53 Eggs 54" Miser ables' Crossword answers on C-2 name means bi Contends (with) 58 Poet Pound "whirlpool" 59 Off ice station 48 Principal 53 Mobius piece Whirlpool 49 One with a sting 62 Modern Information operation? 56 Grouter target 80urceiWith so Sayings Reactor part "the" .4.