The Ottawa Citizen from Ottawa, Ontario, Canada • 62

Page 62, The Citizen, Ottawa, Thursday, Oct 3. 1974 wtim mmv? Friendship SIR, MADAM! Around Ottawa 1 WML Time for children mi i ii I 'nil I KiNj mm Henry Birks Sons need tales personnel to help customers in their selection and purchase of jewellery, silverware, chinaware, crystal, watches, leather goods, stationery, etc. We are not insisting on experience but we do want attractive, well-groomed persons. You may not need to work but perhaps you would enjoy being with us for part or all of your day in the pleasant atmosphere of a Birks store. Arrangements can be made for hours to suit you and for appropriate training in advance.

Applications are being taken now for fulltime and part-time openings and for the forthcoming Holiday Season. Please call Mrs. D. Barter at St. Laurent (745-7186) or Miss L.

Beatty at Bayshore (829-7692) for an appointment or further National Council of Jewish Women, Ottawa section, will hold an Israeli brunch on Wednesday, Oct. 16, from 11 a.m. to 2 p.m., at the home of Mrs. Marshall Cohen, 211 Clemow Ave. Funds will go to the Israeli Family Counselling Association, Tel Aviv.

Sharon Anderson has been elected president of the Zeta Chapter of Beta Sigma Phi. Other officers include vice-president Irene Weames, secretaries Pat D'Aoust and Judy Lennst-rom and treasurer Leah Toller. Will Mi'! -V nuj Keep Up The Pace In Our 100 Acrylic Turtle Neck Sweater. Available in Gold, Bone and Blue. Our Special Price: $6.99 WHILE QUANTITIES LAST Civic Hospital marks 50th Gwen Hefferman, assistant director of nursing, department'i display which shows the changes 1924.

By Pat Bell Citizen tpecial correspondent "For your friends are my friends and my friends are your friends The more we get together, the happier we'll be." It might sound terrific at a sing-song, but it isn't necessarily so. Some children would prefer the words to convey the message: "If you don't bring your other friends, and I don't call my other friends, we can have a. nice time playing together for a while today." And why not? How many times do adults arrange meetings between persons they like separately, only to find that the combination just doesn't quite work? What had been two sets of two friends with some interests in common doesn't magically turn into one set of three friends with the same interests in common. It's no fun Children are quite aware that it's not much fun being the third person. Some go back to being a loner, many go off in search of a fourth, and some persistent types wait their chance to be once again alone with a favored friend, leaving someone else on the side lines.

You can watch the drama unfolding in the playgrounds at recess time in elementary schools all over the city. And especially during the early weeks back at school, parents often hear plaintive wails at the end of the day: "My best friends has a new friend now." There's not much an adult at home can do about the friend-finding process going on at schoool. Children have preferences for some children just as naturally as adults have preferences for some adults. Studies carried out over several years at the Institute of Child Study, University of Toronto, show that children's social relationships don't change very much over their school career. A child who is chosen most often as the one others would like to sit beside in kindergarten is usually the same child chosen the most popular in the eighth grade.

There's no law But Dr. Mary L. North-way, who was supervisor of research at the time of the study, cautioned parents and teachers about the use of the results. "Remember there is no law saying a person must be highly social," she said. "Consider whether he is contented or discontented." Human beings do not an can not love each other equally, Dr.

North-way pointed out, and we must not pretend that a child must be a friend to everyone. He can't and if he tries, he develops a pseydo-socialiation which hass little meaning, or when he fails, he is nagged by a remorseful sense of guilt. On the other hand, he must learn that evern though he prefers certain classmates, he must also be fair to those he isn't particulalry interested in. And he has to learn to co-operate on projects with all. Best not best Maybe one of the most helpful things a parent can do is to try to get rid of the words: "best friend" and help the child concentrate on the friend part.

However some children do indeed have best friends who are very important to them someone to sit near in class, to walk home with, to play with after school, to phone up at lunch time or after supper. Who has a right to interfere with the friendship? Who knows exactly why these two happen to be friends? Sometimes the reasons for friendships are perfectly clear. One 10-year-old girl who is the eldest of five children began a school essay with the words: "I have a best friend. Her name is Noe-lle and she beats me up every day." The daily beatings consisted of being shoved into a pile of autumn leaves or having her hands held behind her back until she yelled but to the essay writer, this meant that the friend was big and strong a wonderful contrast to all those little brothers and sisters at home. With a big, strong friend like this, she didn't have to be the leader.

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