The San Francisco Examiner from San Francisco, California on January 5, 1941 · 32
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The San Francisco Examiner from San Francisco, California · 32

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San Francisco, California
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Sunday, January 5, 1941
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32
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r Yw&l .MAKk lll.l.l l.N(.m The eager young man, highly interested in music, galloped into the saxophone school. "How long would it take me to learn to play the saxophone?" he inquired. "I'd like to entertain my friends at parties." The teacher cleared his throat. "Well," he returned, "in about thirty lessons you should be able to play all the popular tunes and be the life of the party. The thirty lessons will cost you $60." The young man hesitated. "Siinnnse T tnnk ton lessons?" he N Uj II asked. "Could I still play at parties?" I ' I The teacher nodded. The young man's eyes brightened. "Great!" he chirped. "What would that cost?" The teacher jotted down a few figures. Then he looked up. "That will be twenty-five dollars, sir," he replied. "And that includes your life insurance for one year!" , . . Insult The killer was approached by the notorious gang leader. ' "Wanna make a hundred bucks?" asked the gang chief. "Sure," returned the killer. "Who do I knock off?" "You don't bump nobedy off," whispered the gangster. "All I want you to do is pass some counterfeit dough." The killer drew back. . "Ncthin' doin'," he cried. "You know I handle only legitimate work!" . . . Discovery An absent minded professor ccre home arcund midnight. Feeling hungry, he entered the kitchen and opbned the refrigerator. Ke put his hand insie'e. As he did so, his mind reverted to a lecture he had hoard at the Astronomers' clu. He murmured something unintelligible, forget about the lecture, and took his hand out of the refrigerator. The professor studied his mitt in wonderment. "My, oh my!" he cried. "If I cVd.n't just take this out of the refrigerator, I'd swear it was a human h:.r.d!" . . . Temptation Two. dirty, unshaven bums entered a five and ten cent store. Passing the soap counter, the first bum picked up a bar of soap and eyed it like a child with a new toy. The second bum tugged at his friend's sleeve. "Put down that bar of soap," he ordered. "You know we have only a quarter between us." The first tramp kept examining the bar of soap. Finally the second bum lost his temper. 1 "Will you put down that bar of soap?" he snapped. "I've just told you we have no money to fritter away on luxuries!" BEST BETS OF THE WEEK rBpaaiMOy."M" 1 Sk 0 ft HFILINGER SHORT STORY This is one of those stories that- just happens to have happened. It concerns a famous New York physician who is nationally recognized as one of America's foremost doctors. I can think of no other man who is more highly respected in medical circles. But, boys and girls, 'twas not always thus. As a matter of strict fact, this man had a terrific struggle before he landed at the top. His record was never easy. In his early youth, he worked at odd jobs. When it came time for medical college, it was necessary very necessary for him to work his way through. To get tuition fees, he had to take a job as a waiter in a summer hotel. And that's where, the story really begins. . . . - 7i' t The doctor we'll call him Larry in this yarn was employed by a hotel in Atlantic City. Shortly after his arrival Larry confided in the head waiter. "My entire future depends upon the tips I get this summer," said the boy. "I need about $150 to confine my medical studies, and I can't get along without that much. "I figure that one good table might do the trick for me. I know I couldn't get my tuition fee out of that one table, but I'd break my back to give every possible service. Then, too, s LOUIS SOBOL We now skip plenty of years and carry our story into late 1940. The success angle is no mystery. By my very first paragraph, you know that Larry made good in spectacular fashion. He received a break when he finally dug up his tuition after that tough summer as a waiter. You need a break like that in any success story, and don't let any one tell you differently. There never was a successful man in this world who didn't get his share of the breaks on the journey upward. But if you think that Larry ever forget Mr. Jordan and his family, you have another think coming. As the years went by, he told the story over and over again. He could afford to laugh at the memory now, and he and his friends often did. The torture of a moment had turned into something that was almost a fond recollection. Well, a few months ago, fate provided an ending to the story j that had been interrupted by i time. Larry, now a world famed medico, was called in on a case that required his type of service immediately. He was told beforehand that the patient had once been extremely wealthy, but now had very little left. Would Doctor Larry examine the patient just the same? Of course he would. You know, I'm sure, that the patient was Mr. Jordan. The maybe I'd get a chance to tell moment he walked into the the familv nf mv situation, and 'house. Larrv recognized the SUNDAY POTPOURRI Add unusual occupations that of the New York chap who reads every Broadway col umn daily and then calls upon places mentioned, s e 1 ling blow-ups of the clippings. . , . The only ni.ht spot in history that is eventually to beco:ne a city owned museum E ill's Gay Ninct'cs. . . . Willir.m I Hardy, the uwner, lias, uur-ing the years, collected thea ter programs dating as far back as 100 years ago, ancient song sheets, melodrama posters, faded daguerreotypes of stcrs of sn-other century, old saloon paintings, phonographs, pianos, cigar bands, invitations to political rallies, etc. all of which arc on exhibit in his saloon. . . . Upon his retirement, which he had sched uled for 1945 (if his partner, Henry Tanncn, assents) the entire setup is to be transferred to the city as a permanent museum. 1 Ki i. oris soiiol DRAWING BY JACQUES KAPRALIK This, ladies and gentlemen, is a strip that seeking her autograph. She should learn they're deals with autograph hunters, autograph givers, Tonly doing it on a dare and don t even know who and just plain autographs. Different from most writers, I wanted to start the New Year wrongly and I could think of nothing more annoying than the subject of autographs. So here we are, kiddies: 1 The proof that the request is quicker than the eye. Margie Movcovcr, screen beginner, received a note, begging for her autographed photo- So Margie sent it out with her own little writing on the bottom: "To my admirer, wherever he may be and may he come to see audience picture when I see one The .Christopher Morley best tertainment World- Smartest ten-to-twenty on his last rap, and Margie had seller was not an easv iob to lJv in w.i "i w :bettcr bcSin hoPinS that he NEVER comes to RANDOM NOTES About Pictures You're Seeing: For a long time, the notion has grown in Hollywood that Sam Wood is one of the greatest directors the mcvie citv has' ever known. Now comes his "KITTY FOYLE," starring Ginger graph' Pnrrorc! n-nA it r, r, f;i i hands jj. inio isu w na iuic a. iniii a,s you ve ever witnessed, then I no longer know an- ODDS AND ENDS in the En- jme 0ltcn! transfer to the screen, but Direc tor Wood has done the trickwith the same seeming ease he employed In filming "GOOD-BYE, MR. CHIPS" and "OUR TOWN." Ginger Rogers reaches new heights as Kitty and, for my money, she merits serious consid- seems to have been Katharine j eration for the 1940 Academy ! screen as one of the stars of this Award with this superb perform-1 Eamc "Philadelphia Story," of ance. Dennis Morgan, James L.hich she held a major portion Craig and Kathryn Stevens also of the screen rignts S0( todaVi turn in fine efforts-and, all in all. Katy is now not only far wealth-"KITTY FOYLE" emerges as a;lcr than ever-but once aln sho 2 The autosranh hunter whn stens tin to the Hepburn. Told she was no longer celebrity with a leaky fountain pen. Such auto-a draw in pictures, she returned grenh hunters rre often found murdered in lonely to the Broadway stage in "Phila- bushcs Fnd Po!:ce don't evc" bother to search delphia Story," which suited her for clews! talents perfectly. After a year of L JS r't2y m wh attends a corner-, J , ;stonclaying by order of the publicity department, great success on Broaaway, the she sits on a campstooL awaiting her turn to have Hepburn lady came back to the her picture taken and kids swarm all over her. she is! 4 The couple who are both famous but the autograph hunters ask one and not the other. This is a desperate situation, as you can readily observe in the above drawing. If that guy lasts until he gets home before she chokes him, he's lucky! 5 The lady who signs the autographed pictures for your favorite star. Do you ever wonder what she docs in her spare time? Well, we'll tell you: For months, she's been trying her darndest Said admirer happens to be doing to get an actual autograph from the star whose autograph she imitates! 6 The saddest case in the entire autograph field. He's the author who Is nice to all autograph hunters and never turns anyone down, no matter how they crowd around him. He has his pockets picked three times weekly! 7 Last but not least, we find the angriest man in all America. He's the celebrity who pulls his collar up and wears dark glasses so that no body will recognize him. And doggone it, nobody maybe they'd help out a little. See what I mean?" The head waiter smiled. He liked the boy. "All right, Larry," he replied. "I'll do the best I can for you. I have one family in mind right now, people by the name of Jordan. There's a father, mother, and three children and I hear Jordan is rolling in dough. "I'll see that you get Jordan's table. And the rest, of course, is up to you. . . ." Well, the Jordan family was at that hotel for the entire summer, and Larry did everything for them that was humanly possible. He found Jordan to be a rather grouchy, individual, but that didn't bother Larry. He knew he was doing a good job, and something told him he would receive adequate recompense when the summer was over. Two months went by, and it was time for the Jordan family to return to New York. Larry had received no tip as yet, but family. They had been planted too deeply in his memory for him ever to forget them. But none of them recognized him. He might have looked vaguely familiar to the eldest of the children, but that was all. Too many years had vanished In the interim. Dr. Larry did nothing to refresh their recollections. He uttered no word about that old hotel in Atlantic City and the manner in which he had once served them to the best of his ability. Instead, he was strictly professional. He examined the ailing Mr. Jordan and found the old man to be dangerously ill. He ordered an immediate operation. And then he announced that he, himself, would perform said operation. That operation saved Mr. Jordan. How long he would linger in life was, of course, problematical. That family grew to love does! MARK H. great movie. It is recommended i is a great screen star! Rec to you. without reservation. ... ord I liked best this week was Inc. PiKtriliuled hv IntPrnit Srrvkc Kre. I . S, l'at. Off. rionT'Nw.twhole Turp fami,y 1 wil1 ncvcr bc The Marx Brothers have their best vehicle in a long time in "GO WEST," with John Carroll and Diana Lewis. 1 It's a completely "You're the One" and "The World Mr. Joe Turp writes: Without You." as nlaved hv the fast-coming Tony Pastor and his, EROOKLYN. orchestra. . . . New definition of! Dear sir the other night a fellow a Hollvwood cold dieror: A eirl by the name of Bill Kelly and his whacky picture, as is to be ex-, who keeps just one chump ahead w'fc Toots came over to our house pectea, out u nas some swell com- of the sheriff! "4y routines and a train-chase unish that had the preview cus- t ;mers in the aisles. If you eniov t'.:? Marx Brothers, you'll defi-r lc".;- go for "GO WEST." y rt 7t IN THE BOOK WORLD: The distinguished American novelist, Willa Cathcr, has completed a rr.7 fiction first in five years t' is attracting attention. " ." APPIIIRA AND THE SLAVE GIP.L" provides an unforgetable picture of Virginia on the threshold of the Civil War. One understands the times from the story of a rich miller, his wifp and their household, all told with pro-i found insight. The central plot, if one can call such a seemingly simple, so emotionally involved series of events, is based on the struggle for dominance of the wife over the slave girl, Nancy. But even better are the appearances of the lesser characters. It's a volume not to bo missed. ... A most pleasant novel is Rose Franken's new effort, "CLAUDIA AND DAVID," which once again reports so winningly on the young married folk. Is A v - : - -.44- . . - , . fnr Riinnnr anrl nftnr ennnni' "Rill and I started playing rummy for five cents a game and my wife Ethel and Toots did the dishes -hat remark she made about me butting into games. It is very strange if somebodys wife cannot call their husbands attention to a let me play on my own. She ses all right Joe but you will only get in trouble. You and then sat around gabbing know I am a better rummy player about their old days in school, jthan you are. Bill Kelly ses Finally they go tired of talking maybe you better take Joes hand. to each other and came over to watch Bill and me and Ethel stood behind my chair and when I started to play a card she ses oop oop oop. So I played a different card and after awhile I won the game and that put me five cents ahead of Bill. Then the next hand when I started to play a card Mhel ses oop oop oop again. ibie to get even. I says yes Ethel if you want to kibitz it is all right but you should not coach a guy when the game is for dough. Ethel says why Joe you know I was just trying to help you and I ses I understand beautiful but you just sit here and watch and ten to the radio and let them play that cheered rather than worried ;tnis aoclori ey 6rew aim0Sl him. Better a lump sum thanjto worship him. They were wor-small weekly tips that he might ,ricd about his blll and the be tempted to spend. cian knew that to- Before ho At the conclusion of the final had takcn the casp- he had bc.cn, meal, Jordan summoned theitold of this P1? finanfal vnnmr waitor tn his tahi , 'condition. And he knew they rrmnvf-H a GPai om,niD fmm 'were barely getting by. his pocket Ifc was the eldery Mr- Jordan "Ymmun" h .nnmnmi who requested the bill one night "my family and I have found you to be an excellent waiter throughout this entire summer. In return, I want you to take this envelope." Larry accepted the envelope with nervous fingers. He had no way of knowing how much he had been given, but he felt it mistake they are about to makc!y;-as very large. His entire medical without causing all this talk. Toots ses O I am sorry Ethel. I aidnt mean anything. Lets lis- and Ethel ses all right Toots but I have always told Joe he should not play cards for money because it makes him grumpy. I ses what have I done anyway? I ses I never was in better humor in my life than tonight but they future was in this envelope! He tried to stammer his thanks. "Gee, Mr. Jordan, this is this is wonderful of you. I mean, well well, it's just wonderful." when Doctor Larry dropped In to see him. In his weak voice, he told the doctor that he knew he owed him his life and now he wanted to pay. As he spoke, he kissed the doctor's hand. It was a sad little touch, but the emotion was an honest one. This, then, was the doctor's opportunity for revenge. His price could have been anything he wished to make it a thousand, two thousand, five thousand dollars. He had saved his j patient's life. Will there ever u.. ILS ju.u um , b standard fee for such The youth raced back into the ! . Ethel ses O don't be sarcastic Billy. I don't want to interfere went away and turned on the with your game. I love to see old i radio and Bill and me kept on friends like von and .Top pninvinT ' plavintr but he beat me one eame yourselves toe-ether. T will tint after another until he was thirtv torn had dropped out of his life. open my mouth again no matter .cents ahead of me. Then it was!He felt well, what's the use of how many mistakes Joe makes 'getting late and he had to go!sa'inS any more? 1 kn0iV yn i service Two days later, Doctor Larry's bill arrived at Mr. Jordan's home. It read as follows: "Mv total charge is fiftv dol- It's tough finding a word to jiars. For the operation and my kitchen. With his heart pounding wildly, he opened the envelope, Inside was a $5 bill. . . . & X & and Bill ses well I hope I can make some like him if it will get me even. His wife Toots ses you almost home and when we were going to "understand. bed I ses to my wife Ethel do you know what I am going to do sweets? I ses I am going to run for alderman next election so I can get a law passed making it illegal for fellows wives to horn describe how that boy felt. He services, you owe me nothing, felt as though he had been bit- But the fifty dollars represents terly cheated, as though the bot- the tip you will finally pay to a waiter who served you in an Atlantic City hotel a long, long time ago." . . . (Copyrlsht, 1911, Mrk Helllmer. Billy Kelly put down his cards made a bad mistake yourself Wil- and ses look Ethel. What is this j he. My heart was in my mouth oop oop oop stuff? Don't you when you started to play vour think I am having a tough enough queen. It would have put Joe in on their card games, time trying to win a game with-j out. I ses you didn't happen to 1 ?rs I was going great unti1 out you standing there oop oop- kick him or anything did vou vou came a'on" with that oop oor ing him? Ethel ses why Bill he.Toots? She ses why certainly not stuff and made me so nervous I Joe. I don't butt into mens cardicould not tc" one card Irom ar-games like Ethel and then Bill laid ; other after that. Ethel ses now You know Joe is not so smart j down his cards again and ses see yu Frc Jc its just like .1 ses. about playing rummy and I am .here why don't you two dames get! Playing cards for money makes always trying to correct his mis- up a game of your own if voii'yu grumpy. I ses I was not was going to play a card that would have broken up his hand. PWTOUIAL MuYlLW. DIANA LLVIS takes, Bill ses well he is not doing bad "t'lht. He has got me beat out t o bits already without no both know so much about it? grumpy when you sod it. Ethel Toots ses you know I don't like; but 1 pm Plenty grumpy now.' to play two handed rummv rvrn Good nifrht to you. She ses we' with you and Ethel ses I v.-o-:1 " Je. hclp and if I have got to pl?y the,not play with her anj vy alter J s truly i Uiip. W$L n MM i "In return, I want you to take this envelope." New York girl with the most talented mother is Diana Blythe Barrymore whose maternal parent, Michael Strange, has been an actress, writes poems, books and plays, and was once called the most beautiful woman in America. . . . Quaint little art and antique stores in Greenwich Village near my home thert is one where a fattish proprietor sits with all the calm of a corner store operator at Funks Creek, Mo. . . . The eternal and colorful passage of the bright electric fish on the Wrigley aign. ... No group of men so eager to be considered gourmets and culinary experts as the artists. . . . Dean Cornwall, Russell Patterson, James Montgomery Flagg, Rube Goldberg, William Arthur Brown to mention a few each has his specialty in a steak or a salad or a soup or a dessert over which he will spend many perspiring but happy minutes in preparing. ... As for me, I am still a champ at toasting marshmallows. , W W. Seventy-six year old Edward Wilson Donahoe of Los Angeles writes in protest that we erred when we said the Haymarket Concert Hall was at Thirty-second Street and Sixth Avenue. . . . "It was at Thirtieth, and it was not a concert hall but just a booze drinking dance hall where the tenderloin ladies of easy virtue hung out to catch their men." . . , Famous magie shop In Manhat' tan patronized by illustrious amateurs, is Holden's, founded by Max Holden of Holden and Gra-ham, a vaudeville team which toured for ten years doing a shadowgraph and magic routine. . . . Graham is Holden's wife. . . . Professional magicians assemble here to show each other new tricks, trying to fool each other. . . . Amateurs gather to buy new gimmicks and rub shoulders with their professional Idols. . . . The walls are lined with photographs autographed: "The Great Me-phisto," "Dante," "Mysterioso," etc. X Holden's customers include such amateurs as Richard Himber, the orchestra leader, Milton Berle, the comedian, Charlie Larsen who sold an automobile distributorship for $2,000,000, retired and took up magic: Eugene Homer, one of Manhattan's leading assessorsalso when they are in New York, Chester Morris, Har-( old Lloyd, Ed Wynn and Joe Laurie Jr. Himber haunts the place in the quest for new tricks. You can buy your astoundcrs at Holden's for as low as a dime for as high as $2,500. $ Of the thousands of diverse publications in the United States, there is none so unusual as the Hobo News, a magazine designed as its title indicates, exclusively for the information and entertainment of the "Knights of the Road." It is more than a pamphletits monthly edition runs from twenty to thirty-two pages of pictures, news, jokes and songs, But no advertisements. "Very shortsighted of them," l Publisher Patrick Mulkern's con mn, "especially the railroad people."

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