Albany Democrat-Herald from Albany, Oregon on March 21, 1936 · 12
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Albany Democrat-Herald from Albany, Oregon · 12

Albany, Oregon
Issue Date:
Saturday, March 21, 1936
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1 nn f? ni Fewer Towels Foir Senators S idqret Problem' Solved $7000 IFj of Mineral Water All Wet; Politicians Must Be Using It To Soften Up Beards And More Care In Buying Ties For Vice-President's Chauffeur Might Give Taxpayers a Break occurred and a couple of Senators got caught in an avalanche of towels. I doubt that rescue crews, digging furiously, could get to them Inside of 48 hours ALL THOSE Senators not suffocated by towela would be drowned by the overturned Jugs of mineral water. I hope our lawmakers will take this little treatise to heart If I can only persuade them to cut the number of towela in half, to a mere 2907, they might get in the habit of halving everything. And the next time the Army puts In a requisition for 300 bombing planea and the Navy demands a new aupcr-drcadnaught, they will give the Army 150 bombing planea and the Navy a light cruiser and a mine sweeper. would atlU be left with 11 towela Now I am not complaining about the Senators sprucing up. I am sure cleanliness should be . encouraged In everyone. It la a fine reflection on thia country when its Senators go around all day long with their faces bright . and shiny and their ears clean. But they seem to be going overboard on it. I mean they are keeping too clean for the good of the budget After all. 5814 towela is a lot of burlap. Perhaps it la the Sen-ate'a way of keeping up cotton prices. Just picture those 5814 towela atacked up to the celling, row on row, In the Senate washroom. And think of the dreadful consequences that would ensue if an earthquake Just picture those S814 towela atacked up to the ceiling In the 8enate washroom. And think of the dreadful consequences that would ensue If an earthquake occurred. some of the Navy'a expenaea got Into hia report by mistake. Maybe it should read, "for laundering 5814 towela for the Aaiatlc Fleet" WITH 97 men in the Senate, Including the Vice President, it meana that each man has uaing separate towels for hia hands and face. (Note: I am not accusing him of taking fresh towela to ahine hia ahoea with.) Even on thia recklessly lavish baala, he would only use up eight towels a day, or 48 a week. He for hia personal ' use 69 and a fraction towela. (If they rounded out the total to S820, it would make an even 60.) I cannot see the justification for all these towels. Suppose a Senator washes up four tlmea a day, each time if nni ii 1 m Ml for Mr. Garner'a chauffeur,, but in handling everything else on that expense list The little auma add up, you know, and by effecting small economies here and there, it will be possible to make a aizeable reduction In that three billion dollar deficit estimated foi 1936. Investigations will go on, I suppose, but I'd suggest that the committees watch their expenaea a little closer, especially food bllla. For instance, I can't see any point in apending fl for a table d'hote breakfast in t hotel's main dining-room when you can get one equally satisfying for leaa than half the amount in the coffee ahop. What If the service Isn't so fancy? No. 3, for example, offera orange juice, hot cakes and coffee for 23 centa. No. 4, 33 centa, la orange juice, toast coffee and two stripe of bacon with one egg. 1 am Just trying to show the Sena-tors that they can dine hand-' aomely without being extravagant Mind you, I'm not suggesting that they stint themselves. I am the last person in the world that would want our Senators going around lookingthln and emaciated. Now let ua take up that $7000 Item for mineral water. Can It be that the Senate ia obseased with the old bugaboo that tap water ia contaminated by bacteria? If ao, I would' like to point out that we do not have scare-cats in the House of Representatives. At least, I do not find any claim from them for mineral water. They bend unflinchingly over drinking fountains, s, OF COURSE, it la possible they are taking chances, just to save the $7000, or whatever It would cost to aupply the House with mineral water. But their strenuous life demands prime phyaical condition and proves, I think, that the danger la imaginary. Getting back to the Senators, I wouldn't want to deprive them of their mineral water if it would make them nervous and unhappy. But I70O0 aeems a lot for it, even allowing for the thirst they get making apeechea. I wonder If they're shaving with It, too? Or possibly they aren't getting the depoalta back on the bottles. The item that causes me the most concern, the one I am least able to understand, is "$31.98 for laundering 5814 towela for the U. 8. Senate." It appears not once on the liat, but many times. I would like Secretary Halsey to check this Item again. Maybe By Elwood Ullman I HAVE epent all my spare time thia week trying to find waya and meana whereby the Government can cut down expenaea. After carefully etudying the national balance aheet for 1933, I hit upon aome ideaa. Take the U. S. Senate. Col. Edwin A. Halaey, Ita secretary, report that total expenaea laat year amounted to 3,206,852. The liat atart off aa followa: Senate aalariea. .... 1923,138.00 Vice Prealdent'a aalary 14,437.00 Investigation 236,000.00 Mineral water 7,000.00 Laundering 5814 towela .......... 31.98 Twe .neektlee for Vice Prealdent'a chauffeur ' :'. " 2.00 We might aa well atart off with the necktiee. Now nobody la eug-geating for one minute that the Vice Prealdent'a chauffeur go around without a necktie (though thia would, for once, focua a great deal of attention on the Vice President). The purchase was not only reasonable, but commendable. It . waa very aweet and thoughtful of the Senate to buy the two ties for the chauffeur, and I'm aure he appreciates It I have seen a picture of the chauffeur altting up In the front aeat of Mr. Garner'a car and proudly eportlng what aeema to be one of the new cravats. Another man might reeent wearing a dollar cravat While recognizing tha need for Government economy, he might take the position that neckwear, eapecially hia neckwear, la no Item on which to atart scrimping. He hold out for 12 ties and tell them to make up the difference by cutting that 1989,600,000 appropriation for the Poatofllce Department. But Mr. Garner'a chauffeur seems to be perfectly well aatla-fled with thia tie. The pattern la very atrlklng, not to aay demon-atrative, and I'll bet It waa the Committee on Indian Affaire that went shopping for jt. HOWEVER, I am not finding fault with the pattern. It'a the price. If the committee la elated at having got by for $2, I'd like to point out that if they had waited for the January clearance aalea, the ' two ties could have been purchased for 8i centa apiece, a saving of 22 centa. I realize that 22 centa la pretty , small, but at ill it'a something and ' ahowa the Government what can be done not "only In buying tlea 1 I . Solo, e oli935. I'm , 4ilard Company, J 40th Street, 119 Vfest 4 u.Y. YorVCity, nathe Gentle ld man llkes. Hl fgarettes when rantln6 lien' he tas to cx5g00d reasons t tn0se olgare ftJy smoking .carette9, , haven't, touc . son got me on Surning. 1CIV Z and &t "d Mtine ' US other cigarette 00LD3 . b." S'?. J ,."'; Mystery Ships No. 3 H. M S. WASP FIGHTING VESSEL THAT VANISHED IN 1887 Snapshot of Jerry Hurley taken laat Fall by his brother John. Jrrrv'l farm is' located on a mountainside, 8 milra from Weiltville. N. Y. (Port Office, Scio.) , THE sensation of the autumn of 1887 waa a wire from Hong Kong to the Britiah Admiralty: "No trace of Waap. Gunboats rrtumcd. Searched coasts of Cochin China and Hainan." H. M. S. Wasp had vanished, to join that list of missing ships of which nothing la heard; another mystery of the sea: She waa a new type of gunboat. some other more terrible fate overtake her? It ia rare that a ahip goea down without leaving bits of wreckage. Usually she goea to pieces flrat. When the bulk alnka, parts of the vessel are left afloat The Wasp left nothing at all for rumors to feed upon. Did she run ashore along the coast through mishandling? Waa she then plundered by pirates, Yours jerry Hurley ri niece Betty f 0a aMftAl 7 - Made from PRIZE CROP TOBACCOS i.tomtOhta. DOUBLE. MONEY-BACK OFFER as mad to tmokers since Oct. 6, 1935 TAKE a sporting chance en a pack ol DMt-Mtll Old Colds. Smoke ten of the cigarettes. If you don't saj they're the finest you've ever tatted, mi the package Tapper and the remaining ken cigarettes to ua, any time before May 1st, 1936, and we'll send you Wt the price yotl paid lor the full package Jw puttf. who did away with the crew and destroyed the ship? The captain. It was later learned, did nut like his command. He felt that his officers were inexperienced, and hia own responsibility was too heavy. Strangely, she was the second Wasp 'to be lost within a few years. The flrat wtnt down off the west coast of Ireland in l.eavy weather because of "bad navigation on the part of thf , Mifrs." In both cafs fcf man ' , may have ben at fault. The H. M. S. l'o.p is on nf th few ironclad vpiwIh in nil maritime hittorv to il!a p,sr i,ho'il a tree. Her armament waa six guns, her engines 100O horsepower, and ahe had a displacement of 67Q tons aa aturdy a fighting vessel aa eve? waa butlt, and sister ahip to aix other powerful gunboats built along the aame lines. Without mishap ahe bad reached the Malay Penlnaula, then sailed from Singapore for Shanghainever to be aeen agatn. The voyage should have taken 16 day a, with a atop at Hong Kong She never aaw Hong Kong or any other ship on her trip. The unsolved mystery war what happened to the H'espf Did ahe founder in a typhoon? Did PAGE FOUR J9 'KriiT! imiim (rH..?: rrfn"jn:.c (Catabli.hed 1760) V 1 1 9 West 40th Street. New York City

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